Crescents
by One Deranged Scribbler
Summary: Bella's story has been told. Edward's is on the way. Now it's Jasper's turn. Twilight as told from the "struggling" Cullen's perspective. "The thirst was driving me crazy. . ." Rated T for mild violence, language and other occasional naughtiness.
1. First Sight

**Author's Note: **The result of boredom and the horrible, crippling writer's block interfering with the fan-fiction I should actually be working on. My apologies if it has been done before. Dedicated to "Anonymous," who would happily beat me to death if I revealed his/her (_cough-_her_-cough_) name. Thank you for the fresh subject.

**Disclaimer: **Insert something wonderfully clever that ultimately sums up to me owning neither _Twilight_ nor its characters (or _Midnight Sun _for that matter) here.

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**CHAPTER 1: FIRST SIGHT****  
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The thirst was driving me crazy.

It had been two weeks—two _long_ weeks—since the last hunt, and the cafeteria was packed with human bodies. Soft, fragile, delicious humans. An incessant ripple of worry worked its way through Alice's every movement, and her eyes shifted in my direction whenever she thought I was significantly distracted. Apparently I was not concealing my hunger as well as I'd hoped.

I looked around the cafeteria aimlessly, searching for even the most trivial of distractions. My gaze eventually settled on the apple lying atop my lunch tray. A century and a half ago, I might have enjoyed the lopsided little fruit. My grandfather used to pay me for help around the farm with fresh apple pie and a short glass of cream up until my twelfth birthday. It had been a favorite of mine well into the War.

I squinted hard at the fruit, trying to force myself into finding it appetizing. Nothing. We may have been "vegetarians" in the vampire sense of the word, but apples were hardly sufficient.

My sudden musings on the past surprised me. Our kind did not often dwell on our human existences. There was no purpose in pondering what had occurred or could have been. And yet, strangely, I could not help but wonder what had become of the old farm just west of Houston. Not that it made any difference. I would never return to the South if it was avoidable, but…

My body froze and my mouth watered. In the name of all that is glorious, the _scent!!_

I tensed, my eyes immediately finding the source of the intoxicating, salty aroma. A silly little girl standing in front of the heater. So wonderfully defenseless. So easily dealt with! It took everything I had not to rise from my chair and take her. It would be as simple as leaning down to whisper in her ear--to allow my lips time to reach her throat. I could practically feel her pulse beating against my teeth before permitting the delicious red liquid to glide along my taste buds. My mouth filled with venom at the very suggestion, eager for something fresh--something _satisfying._

Edward kicked my chair, his eyes disapproving.

I drew my daydream to a halt instantly. Of course, even the tiniest of thoughts was going too far. No matter how fantastic the idea, Edward would know. I almost wanted to have the girl anyway—to justify my reproach—but the desire was gone.

"Sorry," I muttered.

Edward shrugged, preoccupied with another's thoughts for the moment.

"You weren't going to do anything," Alice said soothingly. "I could see that." She glanced at the girl and spoke more quickly. "It helps a little if you think of them as people. Her name is Whitney. She has a baby sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?"

"I know who she is," I snarled softly, looking away from her.

I regretted my tone almost immediately. If there was anything worse than being the weak link in the family's resistance to our natural diet, it was being rude to Alice. She was my entire world; the meaning of my eternal existence. But feeling her pity was beyond unbearable. No one had the right to allow her flawless smile to falter, least of all me.

I felt her leave my side and focused harder on the long, thin windows leading to the outside world. Perhaps my time with Maria had permanently weakened my endurance to anything less than instant gratification. I would have to hunt tonight. There was no other option. I would not be the one to break everything we had worked for. This was my home now, and no one was going to take it away from me.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Edward's head snap to attention. It was a brief movement and he quickly relaxed, chuckling under his breath and turning his attention to Emmett.

"Jessica Stanley is giving the new Swan girl all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan." He smiled at Emmett's unspoken question. "Rather unimaginative, actually. Just the barest hint of scandal. Not an ounce of horror. I'm a little disappointed."

I had long ago adjusted to Edward's half-spoken conversations, but with Emmett it was particularly easy to follow. I could not imagine him ever thinking anything he would not willingly put into words.

Edward leaned forward slightly, clearly seeking out the new girl's reaction. A strange expression flickered across his face for a moment. Annoyance? He concentrated harder, staring at the girl. I felt a flash of unease, even a touch of anger. My eyes moved to my brother's face immediately. But he heard the girl speak and turned away, hiding his smile at some thought he was clearly not meant to overhear.

I frowned. If all was well, then why did he keep exuding such an unusual level of frustration?

"Shall we?" Rosalie asked, flicking her hair behind her shoulder and rising from the table with her usual elegance.

The three of us moved to follow, Edward's frustration still seeping from his every pore.

"So, is the new one afraid of us yet?" Emmett asked with a grin.

My brother shrugged and we left the cafeteria. I followed his strange trail of emotions with mild curiosity, unable to make any sense of it. My mind kept careful tabs on his particular emotional wavelength, eager for any distraction from my innate thirst as Emmett, Rosalie and I walked into class.

We were playing the part of high school seniors this time, though perhaps "playing" is not the right wording. After all, that might imply enjoyment, and I received none from this particular piece of our human drama. All I wanted from high school was to get through the tired charade without killing any of my classmates. If I happened to pick up another diploma along the way, well, so much the better. Apparently the humans were somewhat against my plans today. That, or they were just very, very stupid.

"Um, J-Jasper?"

I stared down at the child blocking the way to my desk for a long, wordless moment. The poor little fool. Didn't she realize how heavenly she smelled as the blood rushed to her face? I fought against the wild urge to lean in and silence her fluttering heartbeat. Alice had said it helped to think of them as people, but I couldn't place her name. Catherine? Cassie?

"Do you need something?" I managed at last, tightening my fingers into a fist. Control was crucial. The South had taught me that both in life and this new eternity.

A heavy wave of embarrassment. I relaxed slightly at the emotion. Something personal. I could not feed on awkwardness.

"I…" the girl's voice faltered. She stared at the ground and thrust a note into the careful space between us. "I know there are some rumors going around that you and your sister… Well, that doesn't matter, I guess. What I mean to say is, on a scale of one to really lame, how do you feel about, um, love…letters?"

Mechanically I reached for the note, measuring the carefully folded piece of paper in my palm. After two or three seconds of forced deliberation, I closed my fist on the letter and easily tossed the crumbled mass into the trashcan near the blackboard.

"Sorry, I'm not interested."

With the girl still too startled to be hurt, I slid into my seat beside Emmett just as Mr. Fowler fumbled into the classroom. The impossibility of being with someone else—a human no less!—nearly made me laugh aloud. Where Alice ended, I began. There was nothing of any importance before or after that single, unalterable point.

"_So,_" Emmett began, exaggerating the word as the teacher droned on about physics. "The weather should be perfect for another little one-on-one. Are you in?"

I scowled. Knowing Emmett, he would consider massacring the entire student body an even trade to a wrestling rematch. He had never been one to take defeat gracefully, and, unfortunately, I did not have the self-discipline to indulge him. Even the squirrels scurrying outside the window were starting to look appetizing. "I don't really think…"

_Desire!_ My body snapped to attention. Never had I felt any emotion so completely dominate someone's being. It overpowered me--knocking the air from my lungs.

"C'mon, Jazz," Emmett continued, blind to my sudden incapacitation. "I'll take you down quick, I promise. What do you say?"

I shook my head, my eyes wide. Shame, revulsion, dread, bewilderment, irritation, _loathing_--the emotions cycled through me, blocking out all room for thought. There was no way such feelings could be coming from Edward alone. Someone going through this would have to be absolutely mad. The possessive tension in the air alone…! It was simply not possible.

I opened myself to the other emotions surrounding the immediate area, subtly sampling the various ripples and bursts of feeling. Cassie's rejection smashed forcefully against my psyche while Emmett's mild disappointment buzzed quietly in the background. I sifted through the people around me carefully, empathizing with them in the most absolute sense of the word.

Edward's energy was unmistakable. It poisoned me; oozing a tangled combination of passionate yearning and contempt. I tapped my foot against the linoleum, unaware of the movement until Rosalie raised a perfect blonde eyebrow in my direction.

Take action or stay put? It went against all of my instincts to even have to consider the latter option. But how to leave without drawing attention from the others? My brother's conflict continued to rage within me, interfering with any attempt at reason.

"Will you just relax?" Rosalie snapped, her lips moving far too quickly for human ears. "You're making the entire class frantic."

She was right. I was being careless—allowing my own emotional energy to leak into the rest of the room. There was no need to go wandering after Edward. Alice would know if anything of importance had taken place. I willed my body to calm, ignoring Edward's frantic fluctuation of emotions for the moment. There would be time for that after class.

Now if there was only something to distract me from my thirst…

The day went by painfully slowly, though I had come to expect that now. My family had long ago developed their infallible patience, but I struggled to match them. Planning, preparation, biding my time; these were simple. They suggested an action in the near future. But this _tedium_ was intolerable! I needed excitement, a challenge, anything! Humans could offer me nothing…except temptation, of course.

I wheedled away the hours concentrating on nothing in particular. Edward's frantic emotions disappeared by the time we changed classes, leaving me with only Emmett's incessant nagging as a distraction. When the bell rang, it took everything I had to move forward at a "normal" pace. I wanted to run out, find the closest beast in the vicinity, and feast.

But no. We slowly walked to the car, and "patiently" waited for Edward to arrive. The human charade was not quite over.

Alice danced to my side, casually linking her arm to mine. "Someone has a crush on you," she sang, laughing like a child with a new toy.

I raised an eyebrow. "You were watching me all day, weren't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Of course not," I murmured, finding her hand and quickly brushing my lips against her fingers. "Thank you. It's not a good lie, but it helps."

Emmett's disgusted snort broke through any mistaken sense of privacy. "Come _on_ already, Jasper! I can bring you down in five minutes—maybe three, if you want."

A dark growl rumbled against the back of my throat. "No."

"Look, give me just one minute and I'll let you have the next grizzly."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Emmett. Besides, I have no interest in grizzlies."

My brother's retort was interrupted by Edward quickly sliding into the driver's seat, leaning against the steering wheel and gasping desperately for air.

"Edward?" Alice asked, alarm in her voice.

He shook his head.

I raked my nails along my kneecaps to fight against Edward's violent emotions. There could be no doubt now that the feelings were his and his alone. The revulsion and yearning were made all the more potent by his close proximity. For a wild moment I could not separate his feelings from my own. I wanted something--I _needed_ it with every fiber of my being. The blind desire was absolutely agonizing!

"What the hell happened to you?" Emmett demanded, distracted from our rematch for the moment.

Edward threw the car into reverse and sped out of the parking lot, his driving much more reckless than he would normally allow in the presence of our classmates. All eyes naturally fell to Alice.

She shrugged, her expression solemn as she "saw" Edward's future. "You're leaving?" she whispered at last.

"Am I?" Edward hissed through clenched teeth.

"…Oh," she said, her eyes widening as she went deeper into her vision. "Oh." I found her hand as the lightest trace of fear worked through her system. She seemed to delve further into her trance, trembling against something we could not see.

"Stop!" Edward groaned, the word strangled with suffering.

"Sorry," she whispered, her eyes wide. She gently pulled her hand from mine and edged closer to him. "I'll miss you. No matter how short a time you're gone."

Emmett and Rosalie exchanged an apprehensive glance.

"Drop us here," Alice instructed softly. "You should tell Carlisle yourself."

The car rolled to a stop just in front of the turnoff onto the long drive before home. We filed out of the Volvo in silence, Alice pausing just long enough to touch her brother's shoulder.

"You will do the right thing," she ordered. "She's Charlie Swan's only family. It would kill him, too."

"Yes," Edward said curtly, staring straight ahead.

With a nod, Alice moved to my side, a steady trickle of anxiousness polluting the air around her as the silver Volvo drove away.

"What happened?" Rosalie demanded.

"Give him time to tell someone himself," Alice said quietly, staring after the car. In one graceful movement she disappeared, leaving the three of us standing alone in the woods.

With a heavy sigh, I pulled my hands through my hair and set off in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?" Emmett yelled.

"Hunting." I would not follow when Alice did not desire my company. That much I could give her.

A slow, fierce smile crept to my face as I broke into a run. There was nothing like the feeling—the utter release of energy as the wind hit my body and my feet moved across the earth. It was not happiness, but freedom. And power. I moved against my limitations…against Alice's worry and Edward's cryptic emotions. Everything in me writhed with restlessness. I flew faster through the forest, breathing in the woody smells with grim satisfaction.

My heartfelt pity to the unfortunate beast I ran into first.

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And I guess that's the experiment (for now, at least)! Thank you for getting this far!

**Praise and criticism are appreciated! :)**


	2. Monsters

**Author's Note:** At one point in this chapter, I refer to Jasper's original last name, Whitlock, instead of Hale. I'm sure most people won't mind, but I figured it couldn't hurt to mention it here instead of getting angry flames insulting my minimal knowledge of all things Jasper. Sorry if this somehow (inexplicably) angers anyone.

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**CHAPTER 2: MONSTERS**

I did not return until my body would hold no more.

The excess was not necessary, of course, but there was no need to take chances. My high school experience was akin to a diabetic forced to work in a candy store. Lots of tasty morsels to see, but none to sample. The way I saw it, if I could not avoid having my favorite off-limits snacks thrust into my face, then the very least I could do is try to fill up on some sugar-free treats beforehand.

Unlike the analogy, however, "sugar-free" came in the form of a handful of starving coyotes that had wandered a tad too close to civilization. A rare treat, especially in cold weather, and slightly disappointing. Hungry beasts tended to be aggressive, but weak. Not entirely unlike myself.

The house was abnormally quiet upon my return. Edward was not in his usual place beside the piano, and the air was still without his fingers flying across the keys to Esme's soft applause. I smiled grimly and slowly sank into my normal seat, imagining the cold ghost of Alice's shoulder against mine in the emptiness. Without our normal routine to fill the night, the place was vacant, dark, and-interestingly enough-the perfect home for lurking monsters of the _Dracula_ persuasion.

I rose from the seat too quickly, nearly upturning the couch in an unexpected flash of anger. I did not like comparing my family to monsters anymore than I enjoyed acknowledging the ill effects of Edward's absence.

I wanted to drive.

It took me less than a second to enter the garage and move through the cars. I froze mid-step, startled to find the silver Volvo tucked between Emmett's Jeep and Rosalie's BMW. It did not make sense. If he was back, then why was everyone…?

"Edward came to the hospital and took the Mercedes. I drove his car home."

I did not turn to look at Carlisle. That would have taken too much courage. The pain perforating the air was enough. "Where is he going?"

"Alaska. He assured me he would call as soon as he reached Denali's coven."

"How is Esme faring?"

Another crippling wave of pain answered. "…I see."

"If it would be alright, Jasper, could you stay close today? Apparently a new student is the cause of the commotion, and I don't think being overcautious is too unreasonable a request."

I did not agree immediately. "Where are Emmett and Rosalie?"

Carlisle sighed. "They...appear to disagree."

Slowly—for my kind at least—I turned back toward the house, carefully avoiding Carlisle's eyes. "Very well."

"Thank you, Jasper."

I did not answer as I brushed past him. There was no reason for his gratitude. The will to escape had left me. Abandoning the human perception of speed for the moment, I flew up the stairs and stood cautiously before Alice's door.

"Come in," she sang immediately, clearly annoyed that she still had to give me permission. "There's no point in you acting like a gentleman when you already know you're welcome."

I obeyed, carefully walking inside and shutting the door behind me. She was buried in her immense closet, running her hand through the racks upon racks of fabric.

I approached the wall of clothes apprehensively. Alice's closet so completely reflected her whimsical passions that I always had the feeling of intruding on something private and utterly her own.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" I asked at last, content with simply serving her.

She playfully wrinkled her nose and glared at my white undershirt as though it had personally offended her. "You can let me pick your wardrobe tomorrow. Other than that, I think you're a bit out of your league, dear."

"Done," I agreed, moving forward and finding her waist in my arms. "But now you have to do something for me."

"Yuck! At least change your clothes first. You're going to make me stink like a dog!"

I grinned and buried my face into her short dark locks. "They were coyotes, not 'dogs.' But I suppose I can stop. If you tell me what you're running from in this forest of fashion."

Alice froze in my grasp, her small body collapsing into mine for the briefest of moments. But she recovered and smiled, twirling away from me and shaking a scarlet miniskirt as though she were a matador enticing a bull. "Hah! Alice Cullen does not run from anything."

"Is that so?" I dived after her, playing my part as she continued to dance out of my grasp. "Well, what about Mrs. Alice Whitlock? Does she run away?"

She hesitated and her expression softened, allowing me to catch her among the numerous racks of clothing. "Only if her husband gives her a very good reason to."

"Never." I pulled her onto the carpet, hugging her small frame tightly against my chest. "So long as I exist, you will never have any need to run."

"I know," she murmured, drawing herself up and gently brushing her lips against mine. "Besides, I'm not going anywhere unless you promise to run with me."

I did not return her smile. "Alice, please tell me what you saw. You know it kills me when you're anxious and try to hide it."

She sighed. "Just...Edward."

"It's the Swan girl, isn't it? He wants her. More than anything."

Her eyes narrowed. "Who told you that? Carlisle?"

I shook my head. "Carlisle did mention something, but it was more this afternoon. In the cafeteria he was angry...frustrated by something. Then there was such a violent explosion of…_emotion_ in the middle of class. It completely dominated everything else. And in the car…" I stopped, reluctant to elaborate on a painful subject. "Perhaps we should just…let him."

"No!" Alice spun out of my grasp, her perfect mouth set in a stern frown. "That's not an option. Not right now."

"We can't always run from what we are. Even Edward can break."

She stared at me for a long time, her eyes ringed with a flat, dim ocher. It would not be long until she would need to hunt as well. "Do you honestly believe that it would all be over if he drained that girl of all her blood? You don't think Edward would carry that burden with him?"

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"Yes, it would." Alice sighed and lightly twirled to the couch, pulling me along with her almost out of habit. "You know how Edward is. He can repent for what he did in the past by justifying their deaths. It was never anyone innocent…never anyone like Isabella Swan. Do you honestly think he could handle abandoning that self-validation and going from vigilante to villain?"

"A vampire with a hero complex. Lovely." I closed my eyes and moved my fingers over my left temple, vainly attempting to forget the dilemma. "We really are a sick bunch, aren't we?"

"There, there," Alice said gently, yielding to my frustration and leaning her head against my shoulder. "That's why the two of us have our act together. The others need a sense of normalcy."

I smiled teasingly. "Says Psychic Girl."

Alice made a face. "I wouldn't talk, Emotion Boy. I can just see you in a comic book: 'Able to incite vampires into violent riots with a single whiff of his coyote cologne!'"

"Enough with the smell jokes. I'll change." I rushed to my room and threw on the first fresh assortment of clothing I could find, returning to Alice before she had finished her first giggle. "Better?"

She pretended to consider my hurried ensemble for a moment. "I really do prefer you in blue, but yes, it'll suffice."

I rolled my eyes. "Why, thank you."

Alice laughed. "Don't forget your promise. I still get to dress you."

"Of course," I murmured, bringing her hand to my lips.

"And one more thing," she said pleasantly, her eyes alight with some hidden motive. "You will _not_ approach Miss Swan tomorrow, understood?"

I groaned. "You're worse than Edward sometimes, you know that?"

"Promise me," she said, still smiling.

"...I will not approach Isabella Swan," I consented, frowning at my pleased love.

Alice lightly kissed my cheek. "Thank you. Rosalie should be working on Emmett as we speak."

I rose from my place on the couch with an aggravated growl. "You really are a devious little imp, aren't you?"

"Where are you going?"

"My study. I have an essay on _The Merchant of Venice_ due tomorrow."

She laughed at the absurdity of homework in the midst of our other, more significant problems. "What will you write about?"

"The contrast between the comedic aspect the play presented to an Elizabethan audience and it's tragic, anti-Semitic undertones in contemporary theater."

"Emmett will be angry. You're going to beat him by six points…again."

I grinned despite myself. "An A is still an A. He'll be fine."

With one last look at Alice, I opened the door and went to my study, quickly burying my thoughts in schoolwork.

The key was to avoid thinking of Isabella Swan before an opportunity presented itself. Alice had asked me not to approach the girl, and I would obey her wishes. But she had said nothing about _watching_ her, and I intended to keep it that way.

I smiled as my pen moved across the paper, careful to keep my plans vague…my thoughts spontaneous.

"Brace yourself, Miss Isabella Swan."

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**Author's Note:** I originally intended to give all the chapters the same name as their _Twilight _counterpart, but as this particular one falls between "First Sight" and "Open Book," I decided it deserved a title of its own. Hope no one minds. :)


	3. Open Book

Author's Note: This chapter was going to be longer and enclose all of the happenings in Open Book, but, unfortunately, that made it a little too lengthy for some light fan-fiction reading. It looks like there is gonna have to be another in-between chapter... Sorry. :(

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**CHAPTER 3: OPEN BOOK**

I was grateful when morning finally arrived. It was one of those rare days where we could be seen before humans without being covered in a constant mist of rain. The sun was obscured by a lush, thick blanket of clouds.

Not that I particularly minded getting wet. I had long since gotten used to the inflexible weather. But my senses always seemed sharper without water swirling together the intricate sights and smells of my surroundings. It very nearly put me in a good mood.

Of course, I say "nearly" because I was not permitted to step into the daylight before Alice engulfed me in the latest male fashions. I say it because the foggy day would be wasted in a classroom of oblivious teenagers. Most of all, I say "nearly" because of the look on Esme's face when I climbed into the driver's seat of Edward's Volvo.

"What do you think, Alice? Will he come…back?" she asked softly, her voice breaking on the last word.

"He hasn't decided yet, but you can ask him yourself in about a half hour." I had never heard Alice struggle so hard with keeping her voice light. "Tell Carlisle to keep his cell on."

My hands tightened instinctively on the steering wheel as Esme murmured a few grateful well wishes and we drove towards school. If things continued like this—if Edward's absence continued to poison Alice's happiness—I would drive to Alaska and drag him back by force. This game was getting ridiculous. Fighting our instincts was one thing, but actually _running _from humans?! What exactly _was_ this Swan girl…?

Alice gently placed her hand on my shoulder, releasing me from my inner musings.

I loosened my hold on the wheel immediately, startled to find that I was literally shaking with anger. I looked at her for a long moment, forgetting the road as my eyes followed the flawless contours of her face beneath her purposeful disarray of black hair. My arms ached with a sudden, wild desire to press her against me and hold her there. I did not attempt to find a specific motive behind the longing. There was no reason to stain my blind need with unnecessary thought.

Emmett groaned. "_Ugh!_ Why don't you two just get a room already?"

Alice laughed merrily at his revulsion. "But we're not doing anything!"

"That's exactly what's so disgusting about it."

My lips pulled into a smirk despite myself. Reluctantly, I turned my attention back to finding a parking space and, with more effort than I care to admit, pushed my internal desires out of mind. Just knowing she was nearby was enough.

Alice brushed a quick kiss across my cheek and danced away to class almost before I had managed to pull the keys from the ignition. I silently watched her go as Emmett and Rosalie parted ways—first period was the one of the few classes they had not managed to have together—and walked into English.

I stretched leisurely in my seat, biding my time until lunch. For the most part, nothing of particular interest happened. I was only required to wake from my self-imposed stupor long enough to notice my name on the attendance roster. It had been a good forty-odd years since I had adjusted to being called "Jasper Hale," of course, but there was something about hearing the name that always caught my attention.

Naturally, we all _could_ have simply been Cullens, but Rosalie practically spit acid at the suggestion of changing her name. It was ultimately easier to explain away our similar complexion, eye and hair color if we played the part of twins, and I had no interest in further complicating matters. Now that I had grown used to it, however, the name change had become one of the easiest adjustments I had made in the last fifty years.

I could not help but feel a slight tremor of excitement when the lunch bell finally rang. I found a place at our usual table that left the entrance to the lunchroom clearly visible and quickly sat down.

Alice joined me almost immediately, smiling a greeting as she sat down beside me. Her grin shrunk slightly as she watched me scan the flow of traffic in and out of the cafeteria. "Jasper, you _promised_…"

"I have no intention of speaking to her," I said at once, unable to completely stifle the small note of defiance in my voice as I nodded vaguely to Emmett and Rosalie.

The girl came in about five minutes later, surrounded by a small entourage of other humans. I frowned slightly at how _delicate_ she looked, but there was nothing else particularly unusual about her appearance. She seemed tired—the dark rings under her eyes were almost as bad as my own—and her gaze swept the entire cafeteria before finally resting on our table.

"She has good instincts," I murmured softly, pretending to busy myself with Emmett's tray as I followed her in my peripheral vision. "But with the intense level of hatred Edward was releasing yesterday, I suppose it's no wonder."

"Was it really that bad?" Rosalie asked vaguely as she played with her golden tresses.

"I thought he was losing his mind. It took everything I had not to jump from my seat and go after him."

Emmett whistled. "I wonder why Alice didn't see anything…"

"I was so focused on…other matters…that there was no room in my mind for anything else. I never thought _Edward_ of all of us..." Alice stopped suddenly, her eyes carefully not meeting mine. The table went silent. There was not one among us who did not know who she had been worried about yesterday.

I turned my attention back to the enigmatic Isabella Swan to avoid the deep pools of shame I could feel pressing against my mind. Her gaze kept restlessly flitting back to the entranceway, as though prepared to duck under the table if the object of her fears were to suddenly appear. At the end of lunch, she hesitantly followed her blond male sidekick to class.

I could not avoid a quick hiss of distaste._ You can stop trembling already, Miss Swan. He's not coming. He's gone because of you_. _Apparently you're too great a temptation for even the great Edward Cullen…_

I did not see her again until we were walking to our car. Her truck's engine made it impossible _not_ to see her.

"What is that thing even doing on the road? The engine would probably just give up and die if you tried to run it over fifty." Emmett shook his head with a mocking grin. "Maybe we should tell her to donate it to a museum. It might have an easier time outrunning the other fossils, huh Rosalie?"

Isabella glanced at us as she passed, her eyes strangely quizzical. My eyes fell quickly to her hands. She had a piece of paper clenched against the steering wheel. From the little I could make out, it appeared to be a shopping list. My mind quickly formulated a map of an area, highlighting any grocers in the vicinity. The results were vague at best. Human food had never been particularly interesting.

"Where's the closest grocery store?" I asked as we pulled into our garage, careful to keep my voice disinterested.

"Who cares?" Emmett answered with a shrug.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I think there's a Thriftway just south of the highway. Esme had to stop in once to get something for a hospital function."

"I see," I muttered, dropping the subject. Alice's eyes immediately shot to my face as I flitted out of the car. "I'll be out for a bit, I think."

I was grateful to hear no objections as I ran through the woods, following the highway. My pace slowed to what would pass for a jog as I came within distance of the Thriftway. Sure enough, Bella's ancient truck was parked in clear view.

Ignoring the stares I received from curious female patrons, I ambled easily through the aisles, carefully searching for some remnant of a familiar scent. It was more difficult than I had initially expected. Humans smelled so similar…it was hard to pick up the subtle differences gently perforating the air.

I found her shifting through slabs of steak on the opposite end of the building and immediately disappeared into an aisle, forcing back a sneer as I busied myself with a large can of ravioli. Considering Forks' size, the grocery store was relatively large. My careful attempts to be unseen were unnecessary, however. The girl dutifully followed her list through the various aisles, blind to anything that did not directly affect her task.

I watched her leave from a cautious distance and loitered for a few seconds longer than necessary. It appeared that the girl's ability to become completely immersed in a single task was not the norm, and almost every woman I passed released a powerful cloud of adulation. With slow, purposeful motions I picked a random candy bar from the shelves near the register and purchased it from a freckled—not to mention particularly giggly—cashier. Once I was safely away from my new fans, I tossed the chocolate in the nearest garbage can and continued to follow the girl's rumbling engine.

I am still not sure why exactly I felt possessed to follow her.

It was simply a nagging, inexplicable instinct, as though she had some special quality that somehow separated her from the rest of her species. And yet I could find nothing. She did not affect me as particularly beautiful or extraordinarily intelligent. She did nothing more for me than any other human did on a full stomach. But there was something about her face, particularly her eyes, that set my body on high alert.

So, despite the lack of any evidence to support my actions, I found myself leaning against a tree on the bare outskirts of Chief Swan's backyard, watching through the window as the girl haphazardly unloaded her groceries. I played with the idea of simply eliminating her myself, but quickly dismissed the notion. Alice would never forgive me for such a blatant betrayal of her trust. Besides, there was no way to be certain I would be satisfied with merely throwing her body in the woods, and the thought of facing my family with eyes tinged a bloody scarlet was unbearably shameful.

Instead, I contented myself with watching from a safe distance as she stumbled through the motions of making dinner. There was something almost amusing about watching the girl work. She moved with the cautious, uncertain motions of the vastly uncoordinated. In my many years traveling the world, I had never seen anyone quite so prone to tripping over her own two feet.

Eventually, Isabella finished with her kitchen duties and moved out of my field of vision. Her footsteps possessed the solid, distinctive quality of someone attempting to climb the stairs.

Curious, I easily found my way up the trunk of a nearby elm tree and made myself comfortable amidst its branches. When it became clear that the girl planned to change her clothes, I quickly busied myself with studying the ground beneath me. After slowly counting down five or six minutes—taking into account the human tendency to loiter about—I ventured to look up again. Thankfully, Miss Swan had moved on to typing something on a particularly outdated computer.

A small, impatient part of my brain released a soft snarl of annoyance when the girl at last finished and moved on to reading a book._ Are you finished with your tracker fantasies yet? What did you really expect to find, anyway?_

I could give myself no answer. Every time I studied her face I expected to find something out of the ordinary—some secret aspect of her existence that was capable of breaking even Edward's indestructible will.

Nothing.

My careful scrutiny was finally interrupted by Chief Swan's cruiser pulling into the driveway. Bella looked up at the loud crunch of rubber against gravel, and was already making her way downstairs when her father walked inside.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Dad, welcome home."

I quickly fell to the ground as the officer hung up his gun belt and continued to speak with his daughter, feeling more than a little foolish for spying as I disappeared into the woods. Shadowing Bella was one thing, but I could not bring myself to intrude on family matters. For whatever reason, watching the two of them together felt like a particularly heinous breach of Alice's one and only rule.

I did not tell the others about my brief excursion, but it was clear enough that they knew. Not that it particularly mattered. The only one who might have vested any importance in my actions had known my plan from the very moment it had entered my mind. With the exception of a small, disapproving frown upon my return, however, she did not comment on the matter, and I gratefully followed her example.

Bella stayed on my radar the following morning. She anxiously searched our lunch table for a good portion of the period before her posture finally relaxed. Her new friends did not seem to mind her behavior as they yammered on about this and that. I briefly caught the words "La Push" and stopped listening. It was almost too appropriate for Bella to make plans to travel _there_ of all places.

On Thursday, Alice was in a particularly good mood. According to her most recent vision, Edward would be home by Friday afternoon. To say that Esme was ecstatic would be a grievous understatement. She _glowed_ at the news, as did the rest of my adopted family. As for me, well, Alice was happy. That was more than enough. It was everything.

The next two days of school went by surprisingly quickly as we prepared for his arrival. As for Isabella…

Well, Isabella Swan hardly cast her gaze in our direction at all.


	4. Homecoming

**CHAPTER 4: HOMECOMING**

Edward was leaning comfortably against the porch when we returned. Alice nearly climbed out the window in her efforts to embrace him, leaving the rest of us to wait a short while longer for a proper explanation of his absence.

"It's about time you got back!" Emmett said with an easy grin. "Things haven't been nearly so fun without someone to translate Jasper's constant glaring into a more understandable language."

My brother laughed at a fleeting violent thought that flashed through my mind. "Keep making comments like that, Emmett, and you might not need a translator." He frowned slightly as his eyes turned to Rosalie. "Thank you for your concern, but I don't expect to leave again anytime soon. No one is tempting enough to force me away from my home for very long. There were simply some…unpredictable complications."

_Such as? _I demanded involuntarily, my mind quickly betraying my impatience.

At first, I was sure Edward had decided to ignore me. But, softly, he answered in a voice that barely rose above a whisper, "I can't hear her."

For a full eight seconds, no one said a word. Even Alice was surprised. "Not at all? Are you certain?"

"It _is _possible that I was simply too unaccustomed to her inner voice," he yielded slowly. "Not to mention I was slightly distracted by more…pressing urges."

I did not like it.

_Do you think it wise to risk attending class with someone capable of invoking urges_ that_ uncontrollable? Even without this new development, my own self-control is questionable at best. Two ravenous vampires running around school would not be particularly…prudent…if we wish to keep up our current charade._

Edward gave me a confident, pointed smile. "That reminds me. Would you ladies mind if I borrowed Jasper and Emmett for a day or so? I could use a quick hunting trip before class."

"Esme won't be pleased," Rosalie said with a frown. "You just got back. Will you really be leaving already?"

"We won't be long. I thought it might be nice to head a few miles north and pick off a few bears."

Emmett's grin threatened to split his face in two. He turned pleadingly to his love. "_Please_, Rose?"

Rosalie growled an answer, but Edward grinned victoriously. In less than ten minutes, the three of us were speeding through the woods in search of worthwhile game.

It is difficult to precisely describe the sensation of hunting. There is no specific thought process. Your mind simply closes off everything but the bare essentials and your primal senses take over. Everything becomes extraordinarily _vivid_. Even more so than usual. I could precisely describe every tree, branch and leaf of that forest. I could pinpoint the species and location of every bird by its call alone. My nose sorted through the dense, musky aroma of rotted wood and dense fur with ease. The distinctive taste of warm blood rolling against the back of my throat made everything so wonderfully uncomplicated…

The only faculty that seemed to relax was my compassion. Not in the same way as being free of a conscience, exactly, but rather a rare moment of freedom from my "gift." There are no words for how _liberating _it is to feed without having to suffer your victim's overwhelming fear and confusion. There was a sense of freedom in it; a sense that, for the moment, my emotions were totally and completely my own.

This infrequent escape was marred slightly by Edward's carefully reserved impatience. Apparently our excursion would not be a long one.

"So what are we really here for?" I asked aloud for Emmett's benefit, lightly licking at some remnant of a buck that still hung at the corner of my lips.

My brothers sighed in unison and moved closer, their expressions solemn as they made themselves comfortable in the grass. It was as though my question was a sudden call to order—an official end to the lighthearted fun.

Edward did not bother to pretend naivety. "To be honest, I was hoping you two might permit me to lift a little information from your pasts."

Emmett raised an eyebrow. "You mean there's actually something you don't know already?"

Edward smiled wryly. "I wanted to know if either of you had ever encountered a particular human that was, let us say, especially appetizing…"

"A particular human?" I repeated softly.

Of course, I knew exactly who the conversation was about, but the thought of exactly what Bella represented to Edward had never really struck me before. I silently sifted through my memories, trying to remember if any of my former victims had ever especially called to me. There were so many different faces...faces permanently frozen in that vivid expression of horror as they realized what I was. So many different levels of fear and rebellion...

But their smell? Their taste?

My fingers went instinctively to my mouth as I tried to distinguish any variations in flavor.

My brother studied my thoughts carefully before slowly shaking his head. "Thank you, Jasper. I suppose it's harder to notice the subtleties when you're still so new to self-restraint." His attention left me and moved politely to Emmett.

"Twice," he answered immediately, his eyes gleaming with lust as he remembered. Desire lingered around him like a shadow, a dead remnant of a long extinct need.

Edward nodded slowly. "The second one is much more similar to the…_pull_ I feel."

"I wasn't expecting them, you see," Emmett explained too hastily, his expression slightly defensive. "I'm sure if I had eaten well beforehand—if there had been people around—I would have…"

"I was willing to kill my entire Biology class just to have a taste of her," he said evenly, his mouth a grim line. "But you're right. I simply wasn't prepared to encounter something like her without warning. All I have to do is feed more than usual and she shouldn't be a problem. It's only one class, after all."

"And it _is_ only one human," Emmett added. "Mistakes happen."

"Not this time."

The three of us fell silent, lost in our own thoughts. Though I could feel nothing but confidence emanating from my brother, my instincts refused to completely let the subject drop. Isabella Swan was a problem.

---

Edward spent the entire weekend hunting, returning home just long enough to quell Esme's worries before disappearing again.

It was enough. The house seemed to heave a relieved sigh at his return, and everyone quickly found themselves following their "normal" routine. Esme and Carlisle brightened, Alice laughed with extra enthusiasm, Rosalie allowed herself an occasional smile, and Emmett took advantage of all the excitement by simply…well, being Emmett.

"So. Jazz," he began, his smile somewhere between feigned innocence and outright glee. "What're you reading?"

"_Allure_," I murmured, studying the glossy pages with a frown.

"Uh, isn't that…a women's magazine?" he glanced at the cover and threw himself onto the couch with a laugh. "I'm a little hurt, Jasper. You should know by now that you can come to me any time you need to know the top ten easy steps to pleasing your man."

I sighed and easily shoved him to the floor. "Alice asked me to read it. Apparently it's been five months since the last time I had to go shopping, and my closet is '_woefully_' last season. She wants me to memorize a list of male fashion do's and don'ts by this weekend."

"Yeah, that sounds about like Alice. But, hey, at least it's only one article. She let you off pretty easy."

"Actually…" I smiled ruefully and pulled a thick wad of magazines from under the sofa cushion, "there were twelve. But she promised that as long as I remembered _Allure_, _Esquire_, _Cosmopolitan_ and _GQ_, she would let me go."

"Damn," Emmett whistled. "Well, have you learned anything?"

I sighed and set the article down, grimacing at the flashy cover. "Apparently, patent-leather and plaid patterns are making a comeback, though it's not recommended for the 'accessory-challenged.' Scarves and straight-legged pants are also looking to be quite prominent. The photos are a bit reminiscent of the eighties, in fact."

"I'll try to keep that in mind," Emmett snickered. "Well, I hate to interrupt your reading when you're just getting to the juicy bits, but Alice was saying it's gonna snow tomorrow and I was kinda hoping you might play a game…of sorts."

I was instantly on alert. "What kind of game?"

Emmett's grin widened. "Well, 'contest' might be the better word…"

I picked the magazine back up and started for the stairs. "Not interested."

"Aw, c'mon, Jazz! It's for a good cause this time and everything!"

"No."

"But _why?_"

I paused before my door. "For starters, Rosalie wouldn't like it."

"Rose…?" Whatever Emmett expected my reason to be, that certainly was not it. "Why wouldn't she?"

"Because she'd have to deal with your tantrum after I send you crying back to her."

"Hah!" Emmett sneered. "I think you must've gotten something out of season during that last hunting trip, Jazz. You're getting a little delusional."

"That's funny," I mused, glancing back at my brother. "I _was_ feeling a little ill, but I was under the impression it was from all your lame jokes."

Emmett nearly threw the couch on its side as he staggered into a dramatic faint. "No! It can't be! Don't tell me _Jasper Hale _might actually have a sense of humor! Rose! Rose, come quick! I think…" He pretended to inspect his own hard skin, as though to be sure he was still completely intact. "Yep. I think we actually survived Hell freezing over!"

I almost laughed. Almost. But it was weakness enough. My brother flew up the steps with a cheerful grin, draping one arm heavily over my shoulder. He quickly sniffed the air, clearly checking that no one else was really in the house, and reworked his attack.

"Just think about it, Jazz. It's for Edward. We're doing him a legitimate favor."

I snorted. "You know Edward won't participate."

"He's not a contestant," Emmett said with a smirk. "He's what we'll be competing _with_."

I arched an eyebrow, genuinely intrigued.

Eager to keep my attention, he continued, "I was thinking, y'know, with the snow and all, we could see which one of us could catch Edward with a snowball first."

"Hmm…just one?"

"That, or however many it takes to nail him square in the head," Emmett suggested, waves of restless enthusiasm oozing from his every pore. "Either way, you _know_ you want in."

It really was quite tempting. "Did Alice mention what time the snow would reach its peak?"

"Really, Jasper, I would expect this from Emmett, but not you!"

We were both already wincing away from the reprimand by the time I worked up the courage to face Alice's disapproving frown.

"A-Alice..."

"Don't put on that guilty expression now! Really, Jasper! I still can't believe you would be so childish."

I accepted her lecture silently, careful to keep my face expressionless as I worked through the subtle emotions emanating from her. Her body language did not quite match her energy. While she had her lips pursed and shoulders squared, she felt almost…amused.

Finally, she smiled. "I mean, just think! If you're really planning to make a contest out of it, shouldn't you have asked when Edward would be most distracted during the snowfall? It won't help to have all that snow and no one to throw it at."

For once, Emmett caught on before I did.

"You're brilliant, Alice!" He moved forward as though to embrace her, glanced briefly at me, and settled for a grin. "All right! When should we make our move?"

"I shouldn't matter when you _start_, but just be sure to save one for lunch, all right?" She smiled as Emmett gave a whoop of joy and sped away to plan his attack. She watched my expression with a playful laugh. "Did you miss me?"

I stepped forward and slowly brushed my fingers across her cheek. There was no need to waste words on something she already knew. Still, it wasn't very often that Rosalie, Alice and Esme left on any sort of bonding excursion, and I had not yet grown accustomed to being apart from her for very long. Somehow, despite my immortality, her absence always seemed to stretch on for a tremendous amount of time.

She closed her eyes and gently placed her hand on top of mine, shaping my palm to fit the contour of her cheek. "I brought you back something…"

"Did you?" I sniffed the air and groaned. Processed paper, ink, glue, and a hint of metal and perfume. "Alice…"

Alice laughed and pulled a large, fresh stack of magazines from her purse. "Well, we were missing a few of this month's issues."

I thumbed through the first one, spotted an article called "Seventeen Fashion Tips for the Newly Seventeen" and couldn't quite disguise my disgust. Alice was clearly enjoying herself.

"Well, I have to go unload a few new things from the car. I'm going to start quizzing you in fifteen minutes, so you better be ready!"

I immediately moved to help her unload the excessive amount of shopping bags already threatening to explode from the vehicle, but she shook her head and forced me back into the living room.

"Oh no, I don't think so. You have to study. Besides, it might be good for you in more ways than one. You know you don't need to take care of me all the time, Jasper. Clothes can only ever be but so threatening!"

Still, I was reluctant to leave her to handle her bags on her own. She may have been more than strong enough, but chivalry was one of the few human vestiges I had managed to retain. And a good Southern gentleman should always oblige his lady's needs and requests. I continued to follow at a respectful distance. "Aren't Esme and Rosalie with you?"

Alice sighed, clearly dismayed at my shopping ignorance. "We drove separately. Otherwise, it might have been a tight fit, and you know how Rosalie can be sometimes. She refused to 'squeeze in' anywhere that wasn't Emmett's lap."

"I…see."

"And _I_ expect to see you reading!" she quickly retorted, opening one of her new magazines to an article about something called Nautica. "You have ten minutes left. Get to it!"

I shook my head but complied, scanning through the pages for any and everything fashion related. "Just remember," I murmured to myself as I read through my twenty-second shoe article of the day, "a gentleman should _always_ oblige his lady's requests…"

---

My hand gently touched Alice's elbow as we walked into the cafeteria together the next day. We were the playing the part of the rear guard, while Emmett and Rosalie cautiously led the group to our table. Emmett was particularly wary as he watched the humans congregate together, while Rosalie seemed to be just on the edge of snarling with irritation as she glanced over at the table Isabella usually occupied. Edward was carefully huddled into the middle of the group, ruthlessly flooding me with an emotional tidal wave of surly impatience.

"It's going to be okay," Alice said at last, exhaling with relief. Her eyes were unfocused as she continued to monitor the situation.

Of course, such a pronouncement meant nothing until _she_ showed up, and Alice knew it. There was no way to be certain of exactly how the girl might twist around his future's current path.

"Of course it is," Edward grumbled, rolling his eyes. His hair was still dripping with slush from the morning's battle, and he did not look particularly amused.

The competition had actually been almost boring. We had managed to store a fairly impressive number of snowballs by the time he returned home to join us on the late drive to school, and he was too preoccupied by his eminent encounter with Isabella to notice or care when we bombarded him with enough ice to fill a good sized pond. Emmett was the first one to grow bored and turn the competition into a legitimate battle. By the time we finished attacking one another, the yard had very nearly been picked clean of snow.

Alice frowned, losing herself in something beyond the cafeteria. "She's not here yet, but the way she's going to come in…she won't be downwind if we sit in our regular spot."

"_Of course_ we'll sit in our regular spot," Edward hissed, his patience all but at its end. "Stop it, Alice. You're getting on my nerves. I'll be absolutely fine."

I frowned at his shortness and gently helped her to her seat, watching her face closely until her eyes at last regained their focus and moved to study Edward.

"Hmm," she mused, "I think you're right."

"Of course I am," he muttered.

I could not help but enjoy the look of agitation that flitted across Edward's face. It was not that I took pleasure in seeing a member of the family upset, but it was nice to have everyone's concern focused on something other than _my _self-control. I noticed his glance in my direction and grinned despite myself.

_Annoying, isn't it?_

He scowled, his emotions nothing but pure agitation. I would have helped soothe him had I not worried about the consequences of relaxing his senses. But the one benefit of stress is that it keeps one's focus on high alert. Edward was so intent on his surroundings that he refused to even breathe, though perhaps that was more out of precaution than anxiety.

He was quiet, his eyes roving across the room with careful disinterest as he scanned the thoughts around him. I did not feel any extra stress as he "listened," but there was the faint increase in something else I could not quite identify… Bewilderment, perhaps?

"Anything new?" I asked at last, eager to discover the source of this subtle shift in emotion.

"Nothing. She…must not have said anything."

I did not bother to mask my disbelief. He had told us about the look of fear in the girl's eyes…about the feral hunger that had openly forced itself onto his face. I myself had _felt_ it. The fact that no one else had been informed would certainly explain Edward's confusion. Even I was suspicious.

"Maybe you're not as scary as you think you are," Emmett said with a light laugh. "I bet I could have frightened her better than _that._" But his laughter quickly gave way to an unusually thoughtful frown. "Wonder why…"

"We've been over that. I don't _know._"

Ah, so the subject had shifted to the girl's strange ability to dodge Edward's attempts to hear her mind. That _was _a bigger mystery…

"She's coming in," Alice whispered urgently. "Try to look human."

"Human, you say?" Emmett murmured, opening his palm to reveal the impressive block of ice he had saved from our morning's excursion.

His eyes locked with mine, though I knew better than to react. It seemed he was following Alice's advice and attempting to catch Edward one last time.

But it was a feint on two counts. With a quick laugh, he abruptly hurled the crude ball in Alice's direction. Of course, Alice had already known his real intentions. With the barest movement of her hand, the ice flashed across the cafeteria and shattered against the brick wall. I forced down a smile at the sound of the brick cracking in two.

There was no need to make sure that no one had followed the line of fire to our table as a good number of students turned to investigate the loud sound. We were much too far away for anyone to suspect any of us to be guilty. And besides, there was no way a human eye would have been capable of following the ice's trajectory.

Rosalie was not amused. "Very human, Emmett. Why don't you punch through the wall while you're at it?"

Emmett grinned, "It would look more impressive if you did it, baby."

We all quickly became part of the "fun," all trying to keep our world decidedly human. It didn't matter what was said—so long as we acted the part, we could keep Miss Swan from any further suspicion. Edward even chanced a breath or two. I kept my attention carefully focused on his unsteady emotional barometer. The chatter in the distance seemed innocent enough, but something—perhaps something one of Isabella's companion's were thinking—was stirring up some faint undulation of annoyance.

His looked her way only briefly, but his torturous expression remained even after he had moved his focus back to our table. Emmett checked him with a quick laugh, and he quickly rearranged his features into something resembling cheerfulness.

I trained my ears on the unfamiliar voice, wondering at Edward's agitation.

"Actually, I feel a little sick," I heard her murmur softly.

It was hardly perceptible, but Edward's agitation seemed to increase. I looked his way with wonder, trying to understand the strange reaction. What wasn't I hearing that would make the girl's _health_ of any importance…?

I quickly moved my thoughts back to their trivial conversation while Edward concentration was elsewhere. It would not bode well to have my curiosity overheard until I had a better hold on the situation.

Alice made a quick movement to catch Edward's attention, and he quickly set his face into a smile. Well, it would seem like a smile to anyone who couldn't hear his teeth grinding from behind the cover of his lips.

"Ease up, Edward," Emmett said, attempting to lighten the mood. "Honestly. So you kill one human. That's hardly the end of the world."

"You would know."

My brother laughed at the accusatory tone. "You've got to learn to get over things. Like I do. Eternity is a long time to wallow in guilt."

Alice flashed me a quick wink and suddenly tossed a handful of ice she had been hiding straight into Emmett's grinning face.

He blinked, shocked, and then quickly brightened at the unexpected fun. "You asked for it," he cried, leaning across the table and vigorously shaking his ice-covered hair in retaliation.

"Eww!" Rosalie complained as she and Alice pulled away from the icy shower.

Alice laughed, catching my eye as she held up her tray as a shield, and I quickly followed suit. Even Edward pretended amusement. It was clear that Alice had done more than merely avert Emmett's assault—she had grabbed a bit of a souvenir to help intensify our "human" gaiety.

But Edward could not keep up the act long before moving his eyes past us and back to this new menace... Unlike last time, it was more than a glance. His agitation increased tenfold as he continued to study the girl, and his expression was far too intense.

I flashed him a quick mental warning, alarmed by his obviousness. _Be careful. Don't let the humans notice…_

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," I heard one of the little gossips whisper with a giggle.

_Too late._

Still, Edward did not tear his eyes away. Even I glanced briefly towards the table, curious to see what held him. It was nothing especially interesting. The girl—_Bella_—had her face hidden in her hair while her friend snickered in her ear.

"He doesn't look angry, does he?" she whispered.

I froze, feeling Edward's response carefully. There was no specific emotional increase or decrease, but there was a strange…_tightness_ about him. The girl's response had merely confirmed what he had already told us: his loss of control had not gone unnoticed.

"No," the other girl answered in wonder. "Should he be?"

"I don't think he likes me," she whispered back.

She was right about that, at least. And _still_ he did not look away!

I listened closer now, suddenly on guard. If this Isabella had been too perceptive, I would take matters into my own hands… I would not let her continue to endanger our existence. Not when it was a problem that could so easily be resolved.

"The Cullens don't like anybody," the other girl said simply, clearly amused by Isabella's hesitant response. "Well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them. But he's still staring at you."

"Stop looking at him," Bella moaned, much to her friend's delight.

My thoughts exactly.

It seemed like an eternity before he at last moved his eyes away from her. But even then, it was clear he had continued listening long after the banter had moved away from our family and onto more tedious human affairs.

As the bell for our next class drew the rest of the school out of the lunchroom, we stayed in our seats. All of us had our attention focused on Edward, unsure of how best to proceed. We waited for Alice's final verdict.

"I…_think_ it's okay," she began hesitantly, clearly reluctant to fully approve something so potentially dangerous. "Your mind is set. I _think_ you'll make it through the hour."

That was not a strong enough answer. "Why push it, Edward?" I asked. In truth, I could not help but feel the barest hint of pleasure at being able to pose the question. For once, _I_ was in control, and Edward—the oldest to our vegetarian lifestyle, the most experienced—was struggling. But I did my best to squash the ignoble sentiment with concern. "Go home. Take it slow."

"What's the big deal?" Emmett sighed. "Either he will or he won't kill her. Might as well get it over with, either way."

Rosalie was not so flippant about the issue. "I don't want to move yet. I don't want to start over. We're almost out of high school, Emmett. _Finally._"

Edward did not commit to anything at first. His emotions were at war with another. But then, that same feeling came back…that curious bewilderment. I could not hide my own surprise as his inquisitiveness rapidly quelled the other raging emotions. What could it be that had interested him so completely…?

"No, Rose," Alice said after a moment. "I think it really will be okay. It's…firming up. I'm ninety-three percent sure that nothing bad will happen if he goes to class." Even she seemed surprised at this sudden change in his future.

Edward was satisfied. "Go to class," he commanded, pushing away from the table and leaving us without a backwards glance.

The rest of us merely watched him go. I closed my mouth—though not my thoughts—to my disapproval, and carefully weighed the possibilities. Was ninety-three percent certainty really enough to gamble with our lives…? I quickly engulfed Alice's hand in mine, and reluctantly headed to my next class. I would trust him…for now. So long as I kept tabs on his emotions—so long as I interfered _before_ blood was shed and Alice did not give any clear dissent—I would not stop his crude little experiment. I, like the others, would wait for school to end and hope for the best.

It was the longest Physics class of my life.


	5. Phenomenon

Author's Note: Okay, I admit it. I don't have near as much time to write as I used to, so I hope you will forgive me if the writing is a little sloppy. Hopefully next chapter will improve...

* * *

**CHAPTER 5: PHENOMENON**

If I ever thought that school went by slowly before, it was nothing to the overbearing inactivity one feels when _expecting_ some excitement. It was absolutely dull. I felt a few distant urges tremble across Edward's psyche, but nothing too violent. As class progressed, it seemed only Rosalie was still in a foul mood. Bothered by the added stress pooling in the back of my mind, I risked relaxing my hold on Edward's emotional tenor to attempt to soothe my "twin's" nerves.

The brief lapse in concentration allowed me a moment to gauge my own feelings on today's progress. All in all, it was a bitter relief. We would continue our human charade, but I would have to reclaim my title as the greatest threat to my family's happiness...to _Alice's_ happiness.

It was precisely when that lurking resentment flashed across my mind—when I felt just the barest jealousy of Edward's self-control—that a familiar scent perforated the classroom air. Emmett and I looked to the door at once, shocked to see Alice dart past our room and make her way toward the science department.

"Alice doesn't have class over there this period, does she?" Emmett asked in a low voice, not bothering to pretend interest in Mr. Fowler's lecture.

"No. She should be in English. Edward's class is down that hall."

That was enough information for Emmett. He immediately rose from his chair, muttering something about "a quick drink of water," and started for the door before Fowler could object.

I caught his arm before he could pass my desk.

"Sit down," I murmured, far too low for the humans to notice anything amiss. "Alice would have said something if she wanted us involved. Edward's emotions seem stable for the moment. Trust her."

Emmett opened his mouth to object but, finding no valid counter for my argument, nodded reluctantly and resumed his seat.

Mr. Fowler was totally bewildered. "I thought you said you needed water!"

"On second thought, I think I'll wait," Emmett said with a forced grin, grabbing his pen and scribbling something along the border of his notebook. His eyes kept darting back to the door, clearly eager to leap from his desk at a second's notice.

"Very smooth, Emmett," Rosalie quipped, rolling her eyes.

He just winked and casually moved the scribbled paper to the side. I glanced at the note and have a short nod of assent. The message was a short one:_ I __will__ find out what's going on next class._

If only I were so lucky.

When we were finally dismissed, Emmett left Rosalie to walk to class by herself and quickly—well, quickly for a human at any rate—made his way to Spanish. I chose to look for Alice.

I did not have to travel far. She was waiting for me in the hall with a pleased smile, silently matching my stride as though it were the most natural thing in the world. And for us, I suppose, it was.

"You're walking me to class today?" I asked as she steered me off our normal route to her art class. "Isn't that a bit backwards?"

"I have to give you some sort of reward for stopping Emmett from chasing after me. If you had seen what he was planning, you would be asking for something better."

"This is enough," I assured her. "Nothing too bad happened, I take it?"

"Yes, he survived the class without killing anyone. It looked a little close for a minute or two, but he managed. I just thought it would be better with someone close by to help him through any other potential mishaps." She shrugged her small shoulders and sighed. It had most likely been closer than she was making it sound, but I chose to ignore the understatement.

"That's fine, so long as you won't try to handle things by yourself if Edward actually gives into temptation. I've never seen him out of control. I don't know if he would try to fight you or not." I clenched my fists, infuriated by even the thought. "I want you safe."

"Edward would never," Alice said, ignoring my venomous tone. "I don't need to see the future to know that."

We stopped outside of the door of my next class and I hesitated to walk inside. It felt odd to be the one disappearing into class without her; to be the accompanied party rather than the escort. I toyed with the idea of walking her back, and she laughed at my obvious reluctance to leave her.

"Go on now, Jasper. I'll see you soon."

I nodded and grudgingly walked into Psychology. "_Please_ be safe," I begged.

"Of course," she promised.

---

I had no idea what to expect when class finally ended and we made our way back to the Volvo. Would Edward be waiting for us? Would he have left to find that girl? Had he run into her again already? I recalled the unusual inquisitiveness he had exhibited at lunch and stiffened a fraction. True, it was not a blood-thirsty emotion, but there was something…wrong with it. She had certainly been the source of some level of curiosity for all of us—and there was no question I had gone farther than most of the others to pursue it—but Edward's questions were accompanied by an almost unnatural _need_. I could not understand it.

My foreboding increased when I finally caught sight of him. He was standing in the rain with his arms across his chest, his eyes locked on the girl as her ancient truck sped out of the parking lot. It was not the look of a vampire struggling against his bloodlust. He was merely…amused. Isabella Swan, the single greatest threat to exposing what we are, was somehow _funny_.

I did not hide my disapproval as I climbed into the car after Alice, an appeal for caution raging in my brain. He brushed off my warning by promising he would hunt the moment we returned home.

True to his word, Edward headed out with Carlisle without taking a single step into the house. The rest of us met in the living room to discuss the current situation.

Well, Rosalie and Emmett discussed it, at least. Alice was strangely distant as she listened to Emmett recount his experience in Spanish class. From what I could gather, Edward had actually left class early. I did not hear the reason. It was hard to focus when Alice was so clearly lost in other thoughts.

"Are you all right?" I asked, interrupting one of Rosalie's probing questions. She was less than pleased.

Alice nodded, her expression carefully blank. "Just listening."

"Do you think he will stay after all this?" I asked softly.

"Shouldn't we really be asking if we're supposed to go with him?" Emmett interjected. "Carlisle and Esme won't want the family broken up."

"I don't _want_ to leave," Rosalie moaned. "I tired of moving around. We just got comfortable!"

"Edward wouldn't force anyone to leave with him…" Alice said, still avoiding our eyes.

"Do you think he _will_ leave then?" she pressed.

Alice shrugged.

Disappointed with such a noncommittal answer, Rosalie shook out her long blond hair with an annoyed huff. "Come on, Emmett. We might as well just wait for Edward to get home and ask him ourselves." She vehemently ground her teeth. "I am _not_ starting high school all over again!"

Emmett obeyed, disappearing into their room with a guilty glance back at Alice.

I waited for the others to be out of earshot before moving closer. With the barest trace of sympathy exuding from my fingertips, I carefully rested one hand on her shoulder. "You would want to go, wouldn't you, Alice?"

Alice came out of her trance and turned to look at me, her ocher eyes intently boring into my face. "Would you go with him, Jazz…? If the rest wouldn't?"

"You don't even have to ask," I assured her. "Whatever, whenever and wherever you want. That's how we got here in the first place."

She smiled.

"You know his decision already, don't you?" I asked.

Alice pursed her lips, clearly determining how much she was willing to tell me. "I'm…going to meet with him as soon as he gets back."

"Alone?"

She nodded, leaning into me with a low sigh. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I know Edward can't help hearing our thoughts, but I don't think it's fair to share his. Not yet."

I pulled her more tightly against me and slowly shook my head. "Do what you feel is right."

She looked up at me and, with a light hop onto her tiptoes, brought her lips to one of the longer scars across my brow. "Thank you, Jazz."

I don't remember how long we stood together, but when the sky started to show signs of brightening and Carlisle returned to prepare for work, she reluctantly disentangled herself from my embrace.

"I'll be back soon," she promised.

I just nodded, wondering what Edward would decide…and hating that I was forbidden to interfere.

---

Alice returned shortly to let everyone know Edward was ready for school. I could tell she was upset about something, but held my tongue. She would talk when she was ready.

Rosalie and Emmett noticed nothing. It was amazing how oblivious they were when forced out of a "romantic scene." They were still clinging to each other in the car.

I could feel Edward's disgust and smiled a little.

While Rosalie and Emmett had exceedingly complimentary personalities, their relationship was undoubtedly a physical one. If it was tiresome to Alice and I—who did at least have occasional intimate moments—one could only wonder what Edward was feeling. Judging from the emotions emanating from him, it was a miracle he refrained from throwing them from the car and letting them run to school.

When the car pulled into the parking lot, however, it seemed that I may have made too much of Emmett and Rosalie's displays of affection. While I moved to follow the lovers out of the Volvo, Edward and Alice hung back. I paused, confused until I heard the distinctive grumble of the girl's truck in the distance.

He was waiting for her, and not with the right kind of longing. All I could feel from him was that same baffling curiosity. I wondered if it was possible that I was somehow tapping the wrong emotions—that I might accidentally have been monitoring the wrong person. It just did not make sense that he would feel any eagerness at the sound of her truck. The air was still clear. But his wavelength was unmistakable…

I shook my head and headed toward the entrance, wondering at how little I seemed to understand these days. My only saving grace was that worrying over Edward's new obsession was engaging enough to distract me from my own cravings.

"NO!" Alice cried.

I turned around immediately, noticing the other students entering the building just in time to avoid running back to her at full speed. As it was, I settled for a "brisk jog." It was absolutely agonizing.

At first, I only had eyes for Alice.

She was unharmed, but her eyes were glazed and distant, still lost in whatever vision had made her cry out. It did not take long to see what had brought on her sudden horror.

A van was skidding across a patch of ice, made too wide a turn into the parking lot, and—now totally out of the driver's control—bounded straight towards the Swan girl's truck. It took a second longer to realize that Isabella was still standing there, directly in the van's line of fire.

I instinctively backed away a few paces, careful to avoid being upwind of the inevitable bloody mess. I could only hope that Edward would have the sense to do the same…

I caught sight of his face for only a moment and froze. He was…_horrified_? There was no other word to describe his wide, petrified eyes and slackened jaw; no other word for the precise combination of fear, shock and denial that flooded through him in wild succession.

Alice gasped and he was gone.

"What is he doing?" Rosalie hissed as she and Emmett silently making their way closer.

We watched in disbelief as the van spun wildly across the lot, ready to sandwich the girl between a mesh of old and new metal, and Edward ran to meet it. The tires screeched in objection as he heaved himself in front of the girl, moving far too fast for any of us to do anything to stop him. Without looking to any of us he caught the girl around the waist and yanked her from her place between the two vehicles, _cradling _her body in his arms as he threw himself to the ground.

Her skull hit the pavement with an impressive crack. I could only hope it would lead to amnesia…or worse.

But Edward simply continued to shield her, straightening to a kneeling position as the van bended back toward them. He met the grating, squealing vehicle with a curse and both arms, bracing himself with his shoulder and at last forcing the van to a halt. He even lifted it up to swing the girl's feet out of the way before allowing the tires to fully drop to the ground.

I could not believe what I had just seen.

I simply stood there, completely still as the humans rushed to inspect the damage. A wild, overwhelming feeling of relief shook my core, filling me with emotion that was most certainly _not_ my own. I could hardly hear Rosalie's long stream of curses as I stared into Isabella Swan's wide, shocked eyes. She was conscious. She had seen everything.

And Edward had the audacity to ask if she was "all right." I could not fathom how he could bear to be near her—how he could bear to save her life.

"How in the…How did you get over here so fast?" she asked, grudgingly allowing him to oversee her wounds. Her voice was too clear; too coherent. No lie would make this better, though Edward tried his best.

But no matter the lie, she had seen too much. Edward had saved her only to make her a greater threat. She should have died.

I snarled against their argument as she continued to insist on the truth. "You were over there," she continued, looking over to the Volvo. "You were by your car."

"No, I wasn't."

"I saw you."

My teeth clenched and I stepped forward, but Alice smoothly intercepted me. Even then, I could hardly hear her soothing tones against the girl's stubbornness. I had been wrong to assume Edward had the control I had credited him. He had saved her life, maybe avoiding exposure in front of an impressive group of bystanders, but most certainly delivering us into the hands of his greatest weakness.

"It's all right," Alice murmured. Whether she was speaking to me specifically or the whole family, I wasn't sure. "No one else saw anything… At least, they didn't recognize what it was if they did."

It was not comfort enough. I chanced coming closer to the scene, my disbelief gradually being replaced by cool anger. He had risked Alice's safety too. If the Volturi heard of this they would blame all of us. Didn't he_ see_ that? Didn't he care?

I was already framing my next course of action while I watched the EMTs strap her into a neck brace. Everything was suddenly very clear. I would have to kill her. True, there was very likely no way to avoid drinking her blood—I will not bother pretending I had any means of resistance in the wake of human blood—but I was willing to sacrifice my honor for now. It was a more than worthy cause.

I was barely aware of Edward's hurried attempt to destroy the evidence his body had shaped into the metal of the van until I caught Emmett nod to him.

"At least no one noticed," he muttered as Edward disappeared into the ambulance.

"It makes no difference if they did or not. Not anymore."

The chaos was easier to watch now that I had a formed a means of dealing with the dilemma. I could look on with something like calm as the chief of police arrived and broke through the crowd, his panic, concern, anxiety and guilt palpable even at a distance.

"Bella!" he shouted.

"I'm completely fine, Char—Dad," the girl sighed. "There's nothing wrong with me."

He was her father. I felt his worry again as he pressed the EMTs for details and, for just a moment, hesitated. Was this paternal love…? I had forgotten what it felt like.

Thinking of my family was not something I particularly relished. Most of my humanity had faded to an indistinct blur. My vegetarian lifestyle was not for my own benefit; I had long grown numb to killing. But two things had always managed to affect me: my victim's emotions and the family left behind. Of course, empathizing with the family of my victims had lost its power over the years—the loss of a lover or family member among vampires was often so devastating that human love was pale and weak in comparison—and I could continue on. My tolerance for the actual victim's pain, however, was still powerfully underdeveloped.

But this father's anxiety… Something about the depth of it brought the barest shadow of compassion back to me. It did not seem fair to force him to suffer any more than was absolutely necessary. I would have to do my best to make her death as painless as possible. Perhaps—if I could control myself well enough—I could make the body all but disappear. If nothing else, it would at least leave him with some small hope that she lived on. It was the greatest service I was willing to offer.

Alice was not pleased with the future my plans were creating. "Jasper, you can't. I didn't see her tell anyone."

"Futures are variable, Alice. We need further incentive than that."

Besides, if truth be told, a minor part of my mind was bothered by something more than the thought of the girl running at the mouth. It was the lack of logic—the utter lack of thought—that made me so restless. We could have simply pulled Edward away and avoided the mishap altogether had he not rushed off to rescue her. It would have been unfortunate to leave the girl to die, but that was her fate. As far as I was concerned, it made more sense for Edward to allow his struggle to end naturally and keep his family safe. Why he would decide to save her instead was an utter mystery; the more I ran over the strange vein of his emotions, the less I liked them.

Alice grasped my arm with a careful frown. "We can't do things that way, Jasper. You can't make the decision for the entire family."

I did not answer and, with a quick squeeze of her hand, walked back inside.

I hid my clenched teeth, working my way through the continuous stream of students hurrying into the parking lot with as little contact as possible. No doubt they were all eager to hurry to the hospital; all clamoring to make sure the girl was "safe." It only added further fuel to the fire. I could not sit idly by for long.

Whether it went against the family democracy or not, there was very little point in pretending it made a difference.

Isabella's life would be mine.


	6. Visions

**Author's Note: **I have been left a few comments that I thought deserved acknowledgment. As this is a faithful retelling of _Twilight_ from another character's perspective, most scenes incorporating any dialogue between Jasper and Bella, Jasper and Edward, or any combination of the three (at least until the equivalent of Chapter 12 of _Midnight Sun_) are faithful to the books. At first I believed this went without saying but, on closer inspection, I thought it safer to clarify. So, to make sure we're all on exactly the same page:

_All scenes that coincide with the events of _Twilight_ and/or _Midnight Sun_ both after and previous to this post will not veer from canon. If it appears in either novel, it is owned exclusively by Stephenie Meyer, and I have absolutely no intention of claiming ownership to it. _Crescents_ is not intended to serve as any grand, standalone fabrication, but solely as a light accompaniment to Meyer's previously established works. _

As this chapter in particular must unavoidably involve a large portion of dialogue within the text—indeed, "Visions" is basically nothing _but_ plot and dialogue—I believed it best to make this clear beforehand. I apologize for any earlier confusion or frustration but, as Jasper appears so infrequently in most of the novel and it is _such_ an important chapter, I hope it can be forgiven. If not, then the chapter can most certainly be deleted with my heartfelt apologies.

* * *

**CHAPTER 6: VISIONS**

Edward was back at school relatively quickly, and I was careful to avoid him. I did not fear his interference exactly—I highly doubted Edward would risk forcing the family into a physical conflict over the girl—but his recklessness still made me wary. So long as it was avoidable, I would not risk my decision reaching him before I knew where he stood. I had no desire to start our fight prematurely, even if it was nothing more than a battle of words.

Truth be told, it was a relief to find that Miss Swan was not with him upon his return. Of course, I knew better than to think there was anything wrong with her—Carlisle would do everything in his power to save her regardless of any consequences it might pose to our well-being—but it did remove the temptation of simply doing away with the girl on school grounds. And I won't bother to pretend that some small part of me was still hoping against all reason that she might be worse off than she had initially appeared...

But no. If that was really the case, I highly doubted that so many students would willingly return to class. Whether they legitimately cared about the girl's health or not, typical teenagers seemed eager enough to embrace anything that might help them avoid actually thinking. And even if the humans _did_ abandon her, would Edward? Would he apologize for playing God by wiping his hands of the matter altogether?

It was hardly likely.

As for the rest of the family...Well, to put it lightly, Rosalie was furious. From the time Edward left to his return, she was a constant buzz of vicious energy and especially vivid threats. I monitored her emotions but made no move to either calm or further incite them. It seemed better for all of us to allow her to the opportunity to vent while Edward was not in the immediate vicinity.

"Come on, Rose. Just let it go already," Emmett sighed, cringing away from his love's murderous glare.

"Let it _go?_" she demanded, barely keeping her seat. "Don't tell me you actually _approve _of the pigheaded stunt he just pulled!"

"Well, no," he admitted, "but it does kinda make sense, if you think about it. I mean, I wouldn't want to the one trying to hold Edward back if that girl had been turned into a Bella-pancake. Not when it would be oozing syrup _that_ tasty."

"That's beautiful imagery, Emmett," Rosalie snapped, her glare easily withering his pleased grin, "but if that's the case, then why would he have risked running _toward_ her? If she had so much as pricked a finger in that accident…"

"If she had actually been caught up in the accident, who's to say we would have had the self-control to keep Edward under control _and_ stop from going after her ourselves? We don't all have your brilliant record, Rose."

I pretended not to notice the allusion to my own weakness. Besides, he was right. I probably didn't have the willpower to help myself in the wake of that much blood. Distracted as I was by Edward's strange behavior, I had not missed the tantalizing aroma of fresh blood when the van's driver was pulled from the wreckage. Like it or not, we had kept our distance for reasons other than surprise.

But that was just greater motivation to keep distractions to a minimum and do away with the girl now. There was too much of a risk even without her. _I _was a risk.

"So Alice and I could have stopped him and you two could run off and hide," Rosalie countered, annoyed that Emmett would dare to shield Edward from her wrath. She could barely manage to keep her voice steady.

"Edward being involved at all is an issue, Rose. If he really wanted her—and you know he does—it wouldn't take that much effort to see what we were planning and get out of the way. Alice might have a chance but—"

"Alice will not be involved," I cut in, fighting back the snarl working its way up my throat.

"Well, there you go. I'm not saying Edward did the smartest thing in the world, but I can definitely see why he wouldn't want Bella stinking up the parking lot anymore than she already was."

I nodded, ignoring Rosalie's dissenting hiss. "I will keep Edward out of it next time."

There was a brief pause, followed by a thick cloud of satisfaction from Rosalie's direction. Apparently, she thought I was taking her side in the matter, and I did not bother to correct her. Besides, I doubt she would have cared even if I _had_ bothered to explain the difference between useless complaints and legitimate actions.

Emmett seemed genuinely distressed for our absent brother. "Shouldn't Edward really be the one making that kind of decision?"

"Do you think he could make it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think he's seeing things clearly at all…"

He gave a slow nod, clearly reluctant to acknowledge Edward's newfound weakness for what it was. "Still, it's only fair to tell him…"

I was silent. Alice had said that, too. But waiting was so..._agonizing._ It widened the opportunity for error that much more. They were suggesting something without fully understanding the consequences. None of them—even Alice—had witnessed _real _destruction before. None of them had seen what happens to those who even inadvertently break the tenants of our kind. We could not delay.

And yet, as much as I hated to admit it, I could see their point. If Edward and the others had decided I was too dangerous to continue playing high school student, wouldn't I want to hear their reasons first? I owed him the right to plead his case, if that's what he wished.

I could only hope he did not expect it to sway me.

---

I made it to the car first, followed shortly be Alice and Rosalie. We waited in silence as the two Cullen brothers arrived, Rosalie still seething and Alice in lost one of the many futures laid before her. Her eyes kept darting back to my face, as though to emphasize her dissatisfaction with my planned course of action. For once, it made little difference. My mind was perfectly clear. It was _for _her…and I had every intention of keeping her as uninvolved as I was able.

Rosalie gave an outright hiss when Edward and Emmett at last approached the car. Just one more reason to handle things myself. There was no need for unnecessary drama.

But Edward appeared more distracted by me than Rosalie, and his eyes made a continuous trail from my face to Alice's. It appeared that my plan would not need to be announced at our little meeting. Well, so be it. If he disagreed, I would just have to loosen my hold on any definite plans and hope he had not seen too much.

The silence continued as we all climbed into the car and drove towards home. There was no need to waste time with idle chatter. We simply waited for the car to pull into the garage and flitted into the dining room to await Carlisle's arrival. It was an unspoken rule that we could not hold a meeting without his presence.

We did not have to wait long.

Carlisle and Esme sat down together on the right side of the table, a silent call for the rest of us to join them. Edward complied first, appropriately placing himself at Carlisle's right side. Rosalie chose the seat directly across from our makeshift father figure, and Emmett conceded to take the place beside her. The confrontational edge of the arrangement was palpable, even to those who could not feel emotions with quite my level of skill.

For my part, I stayed out of their struggle and made myself comfortable against the wall behind Emmett. After all, the discussion mattered very little. What would be done, would be done. I would most definitely see to that.

It is to my shame and chagrin to admit that I did not realize Alice had not yet joined the room until she appeared at the doorway and—still lost in her visions—took the seat next to Esme. She massaged her forehead with a frustrated frown, a pained mask hardening her normally whimsical expression.

My body made a quick motion to move to her, but—albeit with some difficulty—I checked myself and resumed my stance at the wall. The lines were drawn. I could not step in.

"I'm sorry," Edward said at last, momentarily breaking Alice from her reverie and freeing me from my worry. "I didn't mean to put any of you at risk. It was thoughtless, and I take full responsibility for my hasty action."

Rosalie glared. It was clear that she had been waiting for this moment all day. "What do you mean, 'take full responsibility?' Are you going to fix it?"

It did not take a mind-reader to see what Rosalie considered "fixing" the problem, and Edward hedged the subject carefully. "Not the way you mean. I'm willing to leave now, if that makes things better."

It did. At least for me. _If_ he would really leave the girl unguarded. That, however, was unlikely.

"No," Esme cried, her pain crashing against my psyche with overwhelming force. It was always difficult to be around Esme when she was upset. Her emotions were so pure that they often threatened to overtake my own. I very nearly lost what was said as I battled against the sudden, heart wrenching impulse.

"Esme's right," Emmett interjected, "You can't go anywhere now. That would be the opposite of helpful. We have to know what people are thinking, now more than ever."

Edward voiced my thoughts perfectly: "Alice will catch anything major."

Carlisle did not agree. "I think Emmett is right, Edward. The girl will be more likely to talk if you disappear. It's all of us leave or none of us."

_Or just Bella_, I added silently, glad that Edward was too engrossed in the argument to notice.

"She won't say anything," he said quickly, his eyes locked on Rosalie rather than me.

"You don't know her mind," Carlisle reminded him gently.

"I know this much. Alice, back me up."

Alice looked up wearily. It can't describe how much it hurt me to see her look so distressed. Where Esme's pain was distracting in the way it threatened to overwhelm my resistance, Alice's robbed me of the ability to even _attempt_ resistance. She was to deeply a part of me for there to be any real separation from her emotions and my own. "I can't see what will happen if we just ignore this," she said, looking to Rosalie and then to me. Yes, that made sense. I had every intention to react. There was not a future in existence that could change that.

Rosalie snarled, the legs of the table barely surviving the force of her palm smacking against the polished wood. "We can't allow the human a chance to say anything. Carlisle, you _must_ see that. Even if we decided to all disappear, it's not safe to leave stories behind us. We live so differently from the rest of our kind—you know there are those who would love an excuse to point fingers. We have to be more careful than anyone else!"

"We've left rumors behind us before," Edward countered.

"_Just_ rumors and suspicions, Edward. Not eyewitnesses and evidence!"

"Evidence!" he threw the word away, but I gave a short nod of agreement. The worst kind of evidence: the living, breathing, _talking_ kind.

"Rose—" Carlisle said, gently reproaching her.

"Let me finish, Carlisle. It doesn't have to be any big production. The girl hit her head today. So maybe that injury turns out to be more serious than it looked." Rosalie shrugged. "Every mortal goes to sleep with the chance of never waking up. The others would expect us to clean up after ourselves. Technically, that would make it Edward's job, but this is obviously beyond him. You know I'm capable of control. I would leave no evidence behind me."

I silently approved her argument. Her plan was imperfect, certainly, but the general idea was there. Were it not for the rash fluctuation of her emotions, I might have found it perfectly agreeable. As it was, the vengeful tenor she emitted was not too great a concern. If necessary, I was confident I could beat her to the girl.

Edward was not quite so accepting. "Yes, Rosalie, we all know how proficient an assassin you are."

She snarled in retaliation, utterly furious.

"Edward, please," Carlisle said. "Rosalie, I looked the other way in Rochester because I felt that you were owed your justice. The men you killed had wronged you monstrously. This is not the same situation. The Swan girl is an innocent."

Exactly. Leave it to someone who has killed innocents before.

"It's not personal, Carlisle," Rosalie continued through gritted teeth, "It's to protect us all."

Carlisle nodded slowly, but, unlike Rosalie, I was not so quick to believe in his assent. "I know you mean well, Rosalie, but I'd like very much for our family to be _worth_ protecting. The occasional…accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of who we are. To murder a blameless child in cold blood is another thing entirely. I believe the risk she presents, whether she speaks her suspicions or not, is nothing to the greater risk. If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk something much more important. We risk losing the essence of who we are."

Rosalie scowled. "It's just being responsible."

"It's being callous," Carlisle amended quietly. "Every life is precious."

I was not worried as Rosalie gave in to Carlisle's rebuke and allowed Emmett to comfort her. I was not like the others. Family—at least as far as the Cullen family was concerned—was nice enough, but hardly _necessary_. Though Alice had managed to carve a place for herself within the Cullen lifestyle, I had remained distant—content to accept their rules and retain my autonomy. "Callous" the action might be, but Alice _wanted_ to be here and this girl was interfering with that. It mattered little whether Carlisle saw me as worthy of protecting anymore or not. It would be a shame to abuse his trust, of course, but that was a price I was more than willing to pay.

"The question," Carlisle continued, blind to my resolve, "is whether we should move on."

"No!" Rosalie moaned. "We just got settled. I don't want to start on my sophomore year in high school again!"

"You could keep your present age, of course," Carlisle said.

"And have to move again that much sooner?" she countered.

Carlisle shrugged.

Of course he was willing to make such a sacrifice. It was the one that seemed to him the most peaceful. It was also the one that Rosalie would rage against most completely. Still, it did not change anything. At the end of the day, Edward's _evidence_ would have to be done away with. The argument had lost sight of whatever point it once had.

"Well, we certainly don't have to decide now." Carlisle said, attempting to appease yet another of Rosalie's objections. "We can wait and see if it becomes necessary. Edward seems certain of the Swan girl's silence."

I smiled. I was confident in the girl's silence too, in my own way.

Content that Rosalie would make no further objections—despite her snort of dissent—Edward focused his stare on me.

"Jasper," he said.

I stared back, not bothering to conceal my thoughts. What was the point in pretending Carlisle's word bound me as tightly as it did the others?

Edward's expression was carefully controlled. "She won't pay for my mistake. I won't allow that."

"She benefits from it, then?" I asked softly. "She should have died today, Edward. I would only set that right."

"I will _not_ allow it_,_" he repeated slowly, his face tight.

I raised an eyebrow, allowing just the barest trace of surprise to break through my calm. It appeared Edward was planning to do more than merely argue the girl's case. That was unexpected. Still, I shook my head. Fight or no fight, it was not enough.

"I won't let Alice live in danger, even a _slight_ danger," I qualified. It took more self-control than I care to admit to keep my voice level, "You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Edward, and you haven't lived through what I've lived through, whether you've seen my memories or not. You don't understand." It was a matter of keeping order, and order lost its power when those who broke the rules an opportunity to repent. Trusting the girl to simply hold her tongue would just prolong the inevitable. If news of Edward's neglect reached Italy, we would not be killed. We would be brutally, systematically annihilated.

"I'm not disputing that, Jasper. But I'm telling you now, I won't allow you to hurt Isabella Swan."

I measured him carefully, tightening my understanding of his resolve. It was impressive. I doubted I could weaken it enough to do much good, and, even if I _could_, it would hardly be fair. Let him defend her, if that's what he wished. He could not guard her forever. I doubted he could keep her away from me for a full day.

"Jazz," Alice said, interrupting my thoughts. It took more effort than I expected to move my focus away from Edward. It was to my great relief to find that she was no longer surrounded by that crippling wave of pain and exhaustion. I would have breathed easier, had I still breathed at all.

Still, I had no plans to be swayed by any assurance of her strength. Not this time. "Don't bother telling me you can protect yourself, Alice. I already know that. I've still got to—"

"That's not what I'm going to say," Alice said, easily sliding over my objection. "I was going to ask you for a favor."

I ignored Edward's low exclamation and merely listened, willing to hear any request that she was willing to make...within reason.

"I know you love me," she continued with a serious little nod. "Thanks. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill Bella. First of all, Edward's serious and I don't want you two fighting. Secondly, she's my friend. At least, she's _going_ to be."

My counter-argument froze on my lips. It was as though she had thrown my thoughts off-course and left them to spin wildly around themselves, rapidly twisting and winding their way to total insensibility. I fought against the urge to reach for her, to reason with her. What should I do? What _could_ I do? How could I possibly hurt Isabella if it would cause Alice pain, too? _How_…_?_

"But…Alice…"

"I'm going to love her someday, Jazz. And I'll be very put out with you if you don't let her be."

She was going to love this human... With the introduction of that one word, my plan faltered and my love released a happy sigh.

"Ah. See? Bella's not going to say anything. There's nothing to worry about," she cast me a grateful smile. I could not seem to remember how to return it.

Edward was beyond flabbergasted. "Alice. What…does this…?"

"I told you there was a change coming. I don't know, Edward." She set her jaw in a way that made it clear she had no intention of showing Edward anymore of the future than he needed to see.

Unfortunately, Edward was onto her strategy. "What, Alice? What are you hiding?"

Emmett grumbled, annoyed at being exiled from all important bits of information. For once, I completely sympathized.

"Is it about the girl?" Edward tried again, "Is it about Bella?"

She looked to be in deep concentration, clearly trying to keep Edward away from something. But whatever it was, the word "Bella" must have somehow let it slip.

"NO!" he roared, overturning his chair as he leapt to his feet.

"Edward!" Carlisle said quickly, emanating nothing but concern. Edward did not seem aware of the sentiment—he barely seemed aware that he was standing. He just continued to gape at Alice in utter horror.

"It's solidifying," Alice whispered. "Every minute you're more decided. There are really only two ways left for her. It's one or the other, Edward."

"No," he repeated softly, using the table to support himself.

Emmett could not bear it. "Will somebody _please_ let the rest of us in on the mystery?"

"I have to leave," Edward whispered, whether to him or to Alice I could not tell.

"Edward, we've already been over that," Emmett said, ignoring his brother's distress just as easily as Edward had ignored his first complaint. "That's the best way to start the girl talking. Besides, if you take off, we won't know for sure if she's talking or not. You have to stay and deal with this."

"I don't see you going anywhere, Edward," Alice said. "I don't know if you _can_ leave anymore."

Unlike the first time this argument was passed among us, I could not will myself to feel one way or another. Edward's presence made no difference now. Despite what I wanted—despite what I thought was right—I could do nothing that would risk Alice's happiness…even her _future_ happiness.

"I don't hear that," Edward said in answer to something, though his glance went to me. Alice's followed, and he moaned. "Why are you doing this to me?" he cried, burying his face in his hands.

I wondered what danger I might still pose to the Swan girl and could not quite decide whether I felt pleasure or anxiety. Could I really still hurt her now…? When Alice would care about her? Yes, I decided at last, I could. Like it or not, the girl was a human who knew there was something wrong with us. I could not bring myself to hurt her now, but if something happened…if the Volturi got involved… No matter how much Alice might love the girl, I could hurt her then. Undoubtedly.

"Love her, _too_?" Edward whispered in a disbelieving tone. I started, almost wondering if he was speaking to me. But his eyes were still glued to Alice, and the pieces quickly fell into place.

He was protecting her out of…_love_. This girl who consumed his every thought and sent him wild with hunger was also his missing piece. His _soul mate_, if we could still profess to actually having souls. I think I came as close as it is possible for a vampire to truly stop thinking.

Edward continued to shake his head, clearly horrified. "No. I don't have to follow that course. I'll leave. I _will_ change the future."

"You can try," Alice said, clearly doubtful.

"Oh, _come on!"_ Emmett shouted, watching the exchange in total frustration.

"Pay attention," Rosalie hissed. "Alice sees him falling for a _human_! How classically Edward!" Had I not been so thrown off by the sudden revelation, I might have rolled my eyes at the steady stream of envy pouring from my "twin's" psyche. It was just like Rosalie to turn an impossible love affair into a personal assault on her own beauty.

"What?" Emmett demanded, exploding into laughter. "Is that what's been going on? Man. Tough break, Edward." He threw a sympathetic hand on his brother's shoulder, still chuckling to himself, but Edward merely shook it off with a glazed, frantic gleam in his eyes.

"_Fall_ for a human?" Esme exclaimed, watching the exchange in awe. "For the girl he saved today? Fall in _love_ with her?"

But I was done talking about what I already understood. Now I wanted to know what exactly was so horrifying to _Edward_ about the idea. "What do you see, Alice? Exactly."

She turned to me, her expression uncertain. "It all depends on whether he is strong enough or not. Either he'll kill her himself—which would _really_ irritate me, Edward, not to mention what it would do to _you—_or she'll be one of us someday."

Esme gasped.

"That's not going to happen!" he shouted. "Either one."

Alice continued as though she had not heard the outburst, her eyes strangely soft. "It all depends. He may be just strong enough not to kill her…but it will be close. It will take an amazing amount of control. More even than Carlisle has. He may he _just_ strong enough… The only thing he's not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That's a lost cause."

I stared at Edward, wondering at this new state of affairs. It appeared he had less than control than any of us had imagined. And…perhaps…more.

"Well, this…complicates things," Carlisle said with a sigh.

"I'll say," Emmett agreed, still more amused than upset.

"I suppose the plans remain the same, though," Carlisle mused. "We'll stay and watch. Obviously, no one will…hurt the girl."

Edward stiffened, but I relaxed.

"No," I said with a nod, shrugging away from the wall. "I can agree to that. If Alice sees only two ways—"

"No! No!" he roared, stalking out of the room and taking off into the woods.

Esme reached for him as he passed, but I saw no need to follow. As I was saying, if Alice saw only two ways open to the girl, then she would lose any potential interest to the Volturi either through death or conversion. The thought of a new member of the family was not an unpleasant one. Edward had been alone too long and Alice…well, this would be the first time since our arrival at the Cullens' residence that Alice had seen a new friend on the horizon. And—if I were to be totally honest—I was glad to be free from the title of the girl's—that is, of _Bella's_—executioner. I did not relish the anguish it would have inflicted on her father.

It was rare to feel such freedom without some sort of bloodshed. I was left with a pent up well of energy and no source on which to inflict it. It went against my instincts to follow Edward into the forest, and Heaven knows I was tired of listening to the others discuss the issue. I hung back, unsure of how best to proceed, until Alice caught my eye and graced me with a radiant smile. With a brief word of comfort to Esme—she was still standing at the doorway with a look of absolute indecision on her face—I touched Alice's hand and had her follow me out of the dining room, throwing her into my arms the moment we were out of sight.

"What are you doing?" she asked, laughing at my sudden bout of energy.

I carried her into my room and carelessly lowered her to the carpet, tracing the line of her neck with my thumb and pressing my lips to her forehead. "Guess," I said with a smile tugging at my lips, forgetting Edward as she laughingly swung her arms about my shoulders.

"Thank you, Jazz," she murmured, her face glowing with excitement. "He just needs time, but he'll come around. I'm sure of it."

Her unabashed contentment buoyed my own mood and I sank down beside her with a content smile, reluctant to spoil the moment with any unnecessary professions of love.

Seeing Alice happy—being the cause of even the most insignificant pleasure in her life—was what I lived for. All the cliches aside, it was the truth. She had called to me at our very first meeting; she was the girl I had expected to marry before I ever became the monster I am. I was not...whole without her. Her happiness completed my happiness in a very literal sense. So when I saw her smile—when I felt her _relief _in the wake of Bella's momentary salvation—I did not regret my decision to let the girl be. Not for the moment, at least.

"I love you, you know," Alice said as she nestled her head into my chest.

"I do," I said, wrapping my arms around her.

For once, I had every intention of putting Emmett and Rosalie's misadventures to shame. The secrets were at an end for the moment, and I deserved to enjoy it.


	7. Changes

**Author's Note: **Despite the unusual name, this is not a "half" chapter. It actually encloses all the happens of "Invitations," but, as Jasper wasn't invited anywhere, it hardly seemed appropriate. Also enclosed is a short conversation between he and Edward that does not appear in _Midnight Sun_. Since it does not greatly disrupt canon--and Edward was so completely absorbed in his own problems at the time of the conversation--I did not think anyone would mind. (Besides, it seems likely that Jasper would be more inclined to mention it, anyway...) Still, I hope no one minds and, finally, thank you for the insanely kind reviews! They really mean the world to me.

* * *

**CHAPTER 7: CHANGES**

The next day we discovered that Edward had ran to Seattle.

He did not hunt. He just…ran. It seemed to be an integral part of the new pattern his life had taken. After Esme made it clear that it would destroy her to see him leave a second time, he reluctantly agreed to stay in Forks and pretend normalcy. And, admittedly, he _did_ pretend things were normal for her sake. He returned to school, hunted with the rest of us, carefully listened for any rumors related to the "accident," patiently avoided Isabella Swan, and then proceeded to run away from the fabrication at the end of the day.

And it was undeniably a fabrication. Though he did his best to keep it from the others, he could not keep it from my peculiar "gift." Not a day past where he was not blanketed in a thick cloud of surliness and suffering. At first, it seemed a sure sign that Alice was right: he would not—he _could _not—resist his future for long. He simply did not have the endurance for it.

But by the second week, even she was starting to have her doubts.

As for my own feelings on the matter, I was given no reason to regret allowing Isabella—that is, _Bella_—to live. She carefully repeated the same story to anyone who asked—Edward had been standing beside her during the incident and pushed her out of the way or some similar nonsense—to the point that even _I_ was bored with it. She was a poor liar, certainly, but at least she was a loyal one.

Not that we could afford to stop worrying.

Everyone—well, everyone but Edward, when it was avoidable—kept careful tabs on the girl's movements. We watched as the other boy involved in the accident stalked her in the halls, her lunch table grew progressively busier, and she shrunk away from talking about the "incident."

No one came up to Edward, much to the girl's credit. It was mercifully unnecessary. And Edward forced himself away from the girl with remarkable tenacity. Bella, however, did not appear as eager to forget him. She frequently glanced after us at lunch or in the parking lot, releasing a curious trail of melancholy, frustration and, more understandably, confusion. Alice always let us know when she was about to look, but Edward was determined to never glance in her direction at all.

Unfortunately, Edward's willpower was making things slightly more difficult for me. I was also determined to only hunt with the others and, without the luxury of worrying after my brother's actions, my high school experience was growing increasingly uncomfortable. The fire roared in my throat day after day, suffocating my reason and encouraging my baser instincts with renewed force.

Gym class was particularly horrifying. Forced into a room with limited airflow, smelling nothing but sweat and adrenaline, hearing heartbeats quicken and force blood through the body with greater force and vivacity, easily able to distinguish which human would provide the greatest struggle...it was pure hell. My only saving grace was that it was early in the day, when my resolve was at its strongest. If things continued this way, I would have to ask Carlisle to provide another doctor's note, excusing me for my "heart condition"… The shame of it was far too much to bear.

Alice saw my struggle and supplied me with an endless list of distractions, though they failed to do much good. There was not a single human in the school I had not considered stalking, sometimes just as a means to break the tedium. I was a monster, through and through. Monsters were not meant to run around in the daylight, playing with humans.

But I could _not_ give in. I absolutely refused to. Not when Edward continued to lie to himself.

As a rule, we did not discuss it. Only once, about three weeks after Edward had resolved to protect the Swan girl's future, did our twin thirst ever become the topic of conversation.

Edward had been preparing to go for his usual run when Alice stopped him with a shake of her head.

"Leaving again?"

"Stay out of this, Alice. I don't want to hear it." His tone was not harsh, exactly. It was simply…dead.

Alice ignored his warning. "You can pretend all you like, Edward, but you still want her. Now more than ever."

He turned to her with a violent snarl, and I immediately stepped between them.

"Jazz—" Alice began, exasperated.

"Avoid letting your mood get the best of you, Edward," I growled, refusing to acknowledge her complaints. _I don't care how you treat the others, but you will not take out your frustration on Alice. Not ever._

He released an aggravated hiss and turned away, disappearing into the woods and out of sight. The emotional trail that followed him was not one of anger, but shame and frustration. I immediately relaxed.

"Have we really gotten to the point where you're protecting me from _family_ now, Jazz?" Alice demanded, pouting her lips with clear disapproval.

"You really shouldn't goad him like that. Rosalie does it enough."

"Rosalie harasses him for the wrong reasons. Edward knows the difference."

"I doubt he appreciates either," I murmured, looking back after him.

Alice's eyebrows threatened to disappear into her hairline, but she did not reply.

Her surprise was understandable. I did not often take sides in petty arguments when it was avoidable, and to rule against Alice's wishes was a total anomaly. But beneath all my irrational pleasure at Edward's newly discovered imperfection,I understood his struggle. I knew what it felt like to deny one's instincts when every fiber your being was screaming to indulge…to want nothing more than to escape the half-condescending, half-sympathetic looks of the "stronger" members of the family. I understood the self-loathing that came along with the discovery that, after years of being a "superior" breed of vampire—a _special _monster, if you will—, you were just as restricted as any other member of your species.

Yes, above all, I understood what it felt like to be weak.

So, for once, it was _I_ who waited for him to return home. I was not sure exactly what I planned to say to him—even if he would bother to listen to me at all. I only knew that it was something that needed to be done.

I waited for Edward just beyond the house's hearing, content to make myself comfortable against a rotting oak tree while I waited. The strong scent of molding wood was comforting. I had grown to enjoy any smell that was not immediately tied to my thirst. Grateful for the diversion, I pulled a particularly pungent piece of bark from the trunk and slid it in my pocket. It would be nice, especially after a few days of abstinence, to have something other than pumping blood to focus on in class.

It was then that I heard Edward approach, though he did not slow until I was well in sight. He looked incredibly weary.

"Jasper," he said quietly, as though the name exhausted him.

I shrugged away from the tree and took a step forward._ You can relax. I just want to talk._

"I am," Edward answered, still standing a good distance away. "I imagine this is about earlier this evening?"

"Not quite. I was curious about the girl, actually," I said aloud. I could not entirely trust my thoughts for the moment. He was right, in some respects: his treatment of Alice still riled me.

"_You_ are curious about Bella?" His disbelief was colored with aggravation when he heard my amusement at the familiar way he spoke her name, and the next question came out significantly rougher, "What does she have to do with anything? I don't believe I've heard any particularly homicidal thoughts coming from you lately."

I ignored the jab and allowed my thoughts to wander over the day's events, particularly my own unrelenting thirst. For once, I focused on my suffering in his presence—_made_ him see it, rather than work to hide it as I usually did. My mind moved back to the violent reactions I had felt from him after encountering Bella's scent. The utter intensity of it still staggered me. _I need to know how you do it. How you control yourself in the face of your desire for her. Especially a desire of __t__ha__t__ ferocity..._

"It's not easy," he admitted, staring at the ground rather than look at me. "It's much, much worse than the need you felt from a distance."

_Because of the thirst?_

"Of course, that is part of it. The thirst is absolutely _agonizing. _I can't breathe around her. I can barely bring myself to think." Edward ran a hand through his hair, his every movement betraying his stress. "But it's not just the hunger. It's that I can't _hear _her. The barest fidgeting, the tiniest facial movement, the smallest _anything_ brings me back to how much I don't know! And _Mike Newton_—!" he stopped suddenly, chagrin coating his bitter smile.

_Mike Newton…? Another human?_ For the life of me, I could not understand the significance of his sudden frustration.

"It's nothing," he said quickly, his embarrassment mounting. "It's just how blind some humans are. But then there's Bella, who sees _too_ much…"

_You like it, though_. _Your nerves relax somewhat whenever Alice mentions that she's looking our way…_

"It's just curiosity."

"I wonder," I murmured aloud, musing over Alice's recent revelation.

"I don't love her, Jasper," Edward insisted. "I won't!"

_Whatever you say. But, you know, I envy you... At least you're only torturing yourself. _

Edward released a frustrated snarl. "You think I _make_ myself want her the way I do?" he demanded in disbelief.

_No. But you could give in, if you wished. One way or the other._

"_Never!_" he hissed, furious at me for even making the suggestion.

I shrugged. _Insist on what you will. I just hope you're happy when it's all over, Edward. That's all._

"For Alice's sake?" he scoffed.

I smiled and turned to disappear into the house. _Fool. I meant it_ _for your sake._

"Thank you…Jasper," Edward said quietly.

My smile broadened slightly._ Well, we are a family, of sorts. What are brothers for?_

"But don't think that means I plan on giving in," he called after me.

_Do whatever you wish. I'm not stupid enough to take your word over Alice._

Leaving Edward to the yard and his thoughts, I ran back to the house and prepared to spend the rest of the night buried in my study. Alice was waiting for me, sitting in my usual chair with a pleased smile on her face. It was clear from the way she watched me pull out tomorrow's homework and get to work—from the way she lightly put her tiny hand atop my shoulder—that she had "seen" my recent exchange in some form or another. But neither of us made any attempt to fill the night's silence. We simply enjoyed each other's presence, immersed in a state of peace even I could not hope to manufacture.

I had never felt so confident that I had picked the right side.

---

Truth be told, Edward's mood was no better in the morning, but he did do his best to be more civil to the others. Not that it bothered me. I had grown so accustomed to his negative energy that an unexpected bout of happiness might have actually unsettled me. Besides, it was always worse in the morning—in preparation for facing Bella—than after his run.

We both seemed to be waiting for the moment when our instinctual desires would at last fade into the background…

A week passed, and it was no better. Edward was still surly, and I was still killing my classmates in my head. I did not deserve to align my weakness with Edward's. At least his struggle was noble. I spent hours trying to understand why I couldn't simply be "homeschooled" and sidestep the temptation altogether...

But no. I would be strong.

"Bella's going to stare at Edward in a minute. Look normal," Alice warned, interrupting my reverie.

I looked to the ceiling and fidgeted slightly like the others. It was amazing how little it took to relax humans. Shift your weight, tap your foot, let out the occasional sigh, and they rarely took notice of the fact that your eyes changed colors and you never ate. At least their instincts helped them keep away from us, if their reason knew no better. Our human illusion relied on not being watched too closely.

Something Bella was making somewhat difficult.

Alice gave a small sigh, her expression wistful.

"Stay out of it, Alice," Edward murmured. "It's not going to happen."

She pursed her lips but did not reply. Though Alice had agreed to keep her distance as long as Edward did, her visions clearly made her impatient. A night rarely passed without a soft complaint about what she _could_ be doing with Bella…and how quickly that future was becoming twisted into a snarl of other possibilities.

"It makes plenty of sense to me," Edward responded to the stray thought, ignoring her obvious displeasure.

Alice gave a small snort, but continued "lunch" as usual.

To be honest, I was not particularly pleased with his attitude, but that was Edward now… I would just have to endure. At least until he crossed the line.

We left lunch in silence, I feeling particularly grim about the approaching period. Alice had warned me in advance that Mr. Fowler intended to divide us to pairs. Rosalie and Emmett would be paired together, of course, but I…

I stared at the roster taped to the front of the chalkboard and fought the urge to simply give up and leave the classroom altogether. I was partnered with Cassie Sanford. So that was the name of the girl foolish enough to write a love letter to a vampire…

I looked to the girl's desk and found that she was purposefully avoiding my eye. Well, perhaps that is not a fair assumption. I suppose it _is_ possible that she was really engaged in staring at her notes, but her eyes did not follow the text and there was an unbearable cloud of bitterness surrounding her. I forced back a groan. Was I really expected to endure this for a week…? We would hunt on Saturday, but, on Tuesday, that seemed an immense time to be expected to merely endure.

I stepped forward, cautiously putting my hand on her desk to get her attention. She looked up with a vicious blush, exposing her throat as she indignantly thrust out her chin. My mouth threatened to overflow with venom. It was too much. I was not strong enough. It would be a week of pure Hell, and I would play the role of Death incarnate.

"_You're _my partner?" she asked, her cheeks still burning.

Obviously. But I held my tongue and nodded. It was better to keep my mouth shut, at least until I could control myself. Emmett and Rosalie froze at their station nearby, watching me carefully. I clenched my fists and met her eyes, adamant that I would not give in to my desire.

Carefully pulling my seat as close to her desk as I dared, I ran through the easiest possible way to handle the situation. I could not kill her, obviously, and simply leaving the room was not an option. She clearly hated me now—it never ceased to amaze me how quickly "love" could wilt into loathing—and I was more than willing to make the joint project a separate endeavor.

I was still distracted when Mr. Fowler approached our group and handed out our assignment. Something about incorporating basic elements of physics into a lesson plan for elementary school students… It was difficult to consider the project important with Cassie's every stiff motion forcing her scent back down my throat. I could refuse to breathe, certainly, but with the scent so close to my nose…

I fingered the bit of tree bark in my pocket, searching for its pungent aroma in the midst of the lovely, salty smell exuding from Cassie's fair skin… It helped, but not by much. I waited for Fowler to leave us before looking away and taking a quick gulp of air disguised as a sigh.

Apparently, Cassie took it as an insult.

"Sorry I'm such a disappointment," she snapped. "It's not like I'm thrilled about this, either."

I did not bother to give her an answer. Let the little fool think I hated her. Never mind that I was exerting every bit of effort left in my body to avoid clamping my teeth to her jugular and feasting on the bright blood making its way to her cheeks…

When it was clear that I was not going to grace her childish sensitivities with any sort of acknowledgment, she huffed and shoved the assignment sheet to my side of the desk. "Well, your GPA might be able to take it, Jasper, but I'm not failing this over you. Let's just get this over with as fast as possible."

I scanned the paper for only a moment. "Very well. I'll write the paper if you come up with the project."

"It doesn't work like that. The paper has to discuss the elements used in the assignment. They can't be separated." I could not be sure if she took delight in being difficult or not, but her emotions, at least, were more aggravated than vindictive.

"Then we'll make the project an egg drop and write the paper about kinetic energy, or the acceleration of gravity, or momentum, or whatever you would like." It took an immense amount of effort to keep my words slow enough to be understandable. Speaking to her cost me dearly. I kept losing the scent of the bark in the luscious heat and aroma of her soft flesh. I was going to be the death of her.

"An egg drop?" she asked.

I resisted the urge to look away from her a second time. Did it really need an explanation? "We ask the class to have a competition where they each create some sort of protection for an egg that would slow down the momentum of its fall and cushion the impact. Then, we drop them and see which method of protection is most effective, and why. It's short, sweet and to the point." Not to mention easy to execute a good distance away from each other.

It was clear from the look on Cassie's face that she hated to accept the plan. Well, hated to accept it from _me_, at any rate. But slowly, reluctantly, she agreed. "Fine, I guess. So I'll write the lesson plan now and you can work on the paper. When do you want to meet to do the model?"

I almost panicked at the thought. "I'm afraid that's not possible. My family is going camping this weekend. I won't be in the area."

"Then we can do it during the week. I'm free tonight and tomorrow."

"I don't think that's necessary." Not to mention safe, intelligent, or a good idea by even the loosest use of the word. "I can make it by myself and bring it in for you tomorrow."

Cassie stared at the table, an unexpected flood of hurt flowing through her psyche. "I…don't understand you, Jasper," she said softly, clearly on the verge of tears. "What did I do...? Was it because of the letter? Am I just…immature? Why do you hate being around me so much?"

For a moment, I could only stare at her. I was at a total loss in the face of her obvious insecurities. Even the fact that she took my rejection personally was endlessly perplexing. Did she really not see that I treated_ all_ humans with disinterest? I opened my mouth to apologize for the mistake—to perhaps even manage a kind word through the burn her scent inflicted on my throat—when I was shocked by another sudden rush of emotions.

For the first time in weeks, it was _Edward_ that had overtaken my emotions. Not to say that Edward hadn't been afflicted with bouts of profound desire since the family meeting, but I learned to ignore them as time went on. _This_, however, was new. It was a sudden, bitter, raging, despairing, and, yes, _yearning_ strain of emotion I had never felt from him before. It was _jealousy_. I almost laughed. Though it was hardly a positive emotion, his surliness had all but evaporated in his struggle to force it under his control. I could not even begin to fathom what might have made _Edward_ jealous.

Unfortunately, Cassie saw a shocked smile flit across my face before I could bring myself back to the matter at hand. A new spring of loathing destroyed my hold on Edward's emotions and threatened to incapacitate me altogether.

"Cassie," I began, trying my best to ignore the beast raging within me long enough to attempt something like compassion. "I don't…"

"Forget it," she whispered, her voice cracking despite herself. "Just…just bring it in whenever. I don't care." She quickly gathered her things and fled from the room, unable to hold back her tears.

"Wow, Jazz," Emmett murmured, "you sure have a talent when it comes to making friends."

"Please, Emmett, not right now." The last thing I needed was another excuse not to be here.

Cassie did not return to class and, despite my reluctance to hurt her, I could not help but think it was for the best. After all, what could I say to her? _"It's not that I hate you, I simply can't stand the smell of your blood. Not without wanting to kill you and every other human in the room, at any rate."_ I highly doubt that would provide much in the way of comfort.

I was still thinking about how best to handle the girl when the bell rang and Alice gave me a sudden embrace in the hallway, much to the surprise of myself and my fellow classmates.

"The future's back on!" she sang in my ear, humming to herself in a giddy burst of joy.

I laughed, at last able to forget Cassie and find Edward's anger still buzzing mildly in the background. It was happy anger, in a way. The depression that had plagued him for nearly a month had given way to frustration. And…amusement.

I listened as she worked out her plans with Bella on the way to class, her enthusiasm adding an extra level of grace to each delicate step. For once, it seemed we would have reason to look forward to seeing Edward at the end of the day.

--

When Alice and I met after class to walk back to the parking lot, we found that the Volvo had gone missing. Instead, Emmett stood waiting to greet us, a bemused smile stretching across his face.

"Where's Edward?" Rosalie asked as she joined us, surveying the empty spot with raised brows.

"Guess," Emmett said, thumbing toward the opposite end of the lot. "Looks like we're missing out on some fun."

We watched as the Volvo pulled into the lane and parked directly in front of the exit, clearly intending to cut off Miss Swan's dilapidated truck.

"He's completely lost his mind," Emmett said with a pleased grin, shaking his head at our brother. "But at least he's done being moody."

"I knew he couldn't behave himself for long." Alice was exuding happiness from her every pore.

Not exactly sure what Edward was up to, we shuffled into the car slowly, studying our driver with undisguised surprise.

He seemed completely transformed. When we entered the car he was physically rocking with laughter, shaking his head and roaring all the more as Bella angrily revved her engine from behind us. Clearly she was not quite as amused with Edward's little game as he was.

"Let's go!" Rosalie snapped at last, barely appreciating the joke better than Bella. "Stop being an idiot. If you _can._"

Edward complied in silence, his face still split into a huge grin. Every so often his amusement would overflow, and he would start laughing all over again.

Alice was all smiles.

"So do I get to talk to Bella now?" she asked as we rolled into the driveway.

All signs of humor disappeared in a rush of adamancy. "No."

"Not fair!" she exclaimed, pouting more for effect than genuine annoyance. "What am I waiting for?"

"I haven't decided anything, Alice."

"Whatever, Edward."

My brother was quiet for a moment, grief filling the hole his sudden bout of joy left behind. "What's the point in getting to know her if I'm just going to kill her…?"

Even Alice's self-assured excitement fell apart. "You have a point," she admitted softly. Apparently, the future was not as cut-and-dry as it appeared.

Edward forced his foot on the gas and barreled the rest of the way to the garage, barely stopping in time to avoid wrecking the Volvo against the rough brick wall.

"Enjoy your run," Rosalie called as he tore out of the car.

Even Emmett rolled his eyes.

"I think it's time to let it go, Rose."

My "twin" said nothing but, with an angry glare at Emmett's expense, she disappeared into her room without another word.

And Edward…Edward did not return for the remainder of the evening.

I won't pretend that it didn't affect the rest of us when Edward disappeared, but it was always Esme that took it the worst. And Esme's pain was always especially hard for me to endure.

I suppose now would be the best time to explain exactly how my "gift"—if it can be said to deserve such a title—functions. First and foremost, all vampires, humans, and most intelligent lifeforms are surrounded by an invisible "cloud" generated by their psyche. It is not something of the mind, but of the body. Everything they touch, everyone they meet, every move they make leaves a faint trail of whatever emotions they happen to be feeling. Depending on how close I am—either through physical location or personal affinity—this cloud becomes easier to find and read. If I wish, I can then exert my own psyche to quell theirs and force them into happiness, sadness, anger, whatever best serves the moment.

Then, occasionally, there are certain individuals who go beyond the norm, whose emotions are already so pure and straightforward that I can _see_ them almost as well as I feel them. They are the ones who are most likely to dominate my own mood before I could even attempt to dominate theirs. In my long life, I have only ever met two "clouds" of that emotional purity. Alice is one—though most likely because I recognize Alice as a part of myself—and Esme is the other.

Thus, when I say that Esme's pain is intense, it is necessarily an understatement. The pain she forces onto me is beyond all human—and most vampire—imaginings. It is precisely the feeling of a mother losing her child—more than likely it _is_ the feeling. I could see it strangle her and it likewise threatened to suffocate me. And yet, I did not try to soothe her. It seemed…wrong. Like I was not worthy of staining her emotions with a false, dimmer replacement. Out of all of the Cullens—Alice naturally excluded—Esme was the one to whom I felt the greatest allegiance.

So, after writing my physics report and fabricating a simple encasement to use for the egg drop demonstration, I gave a short explanation to Alice and spent a good portion of the evening watching Esme restore an eighteenth-century wardrobe. We did not really talk—though Esme often narrated her actions or asked for this or that so I might feel included—but merely enjoyed the other one's company. I was certainly no replacement for Edward, but Esme was good enough to be cheered up for my sake. And slowly, but by no means completely, her grief relaxed into something more endurable, and I could more easily disentangle her passions form my own.

Satisfied, I waited until Esme took a break from sanding the wardrobe's fine rosewood surface to seek Carlisle's comfort, and then drifted off to find my own distraction. Still, I doubt there was a soul in the house who was not listening for the sound of the missing Cullen at last coming home.

But morning came and went, and still Edward had not returned.

We toyed with waiting for him until Alice at last assured us we could go on ahead. Despite Emmett's best efforts to wheedle out more information about Edward's specific whereabouts, however, she would do know more than promise he would make it to school on time. Truth be told, I was growing tired of the constant secrets, but I held my tongue and did my best to respect her privacy.

It was not until we were about to enter the building that I finally felt him.

He was…different, to say the least. He _felt _different. Happier, hopeful, and slightly reckless… I chanced a glance just as he casually moved from the woods to the rest of the crowd. His eyes were especially bright, even from a distance. Apparently he had done more than gone for a "quick" run last night. I could not help but envy him.

Though it seemed that his happiness would throw him back off the usual schedule, which could only mean Miss Swan was involved. Of course.

I glanced at Alice, curious to know the specific cause of his dramatic change in mood, but she merely smiled and shook her head. "Lunch today will be…interesting."

I had no doubt.


	8. Blood Type

_Author's Note: _Just another quick word of thanks for everybody's amazingly complimentary reviews. You are all kinder than I could ever hope to deserve. Let me know if there's anything I can do to return the favor. :) I should also probably apologize for this chapter as it's likely a little sloppy, but I hope you'll manage to forgive it for the moment at least. That said, I'm sorry in advance!

_

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_**CHAPTER 8: BLOOD TYPE**

The day continued innocently enough, though I was careful to avoid the science department. Alice had been warned me about Biology's current lesson on blood-typing, and had already made plans to skip the class. Approaching Physics would likely be out of the question. I could already imagine the smell of blood wafting through the hallways, all the more pleasant from my long week of abstinence. My only saving grace was that it was reserved to junior class. I had made the unfortunate mistake of coming to school on the day of the blood drive a few months back—having somehow managed to convince myself I had the willpower to bear it—and Emmett and Edward had been forced to physically restrain me before I had fully escaped the parking lot. I not felt so completely out of control in years. The Volvo's interior had to be completely replaced.

Of course, there was no way it would come to _that_ again, but there was no need to tempt fate. I would disappear the moment lunch came to an end.

I made certain to relinquish my essay and egg drop materials to Emmett, and spent the rest of the morning waiting to escape. At least the blood tests offered a legitimate reason to avoid seeing Cassie. Making women burst into tears was not something I relished, particularly when I found the reaction inexplicable. It was better for the both of us if I kept my distance until the project was over, as I should have from the very beginning.

When morning classes at last gave way to our lunch hour, Alice dragged me off to Rosalie and Emmett's English class, determined to catch them before they could make their way to the cafeteria. They both seemed as baffled by the sudden meeting as I was.

"Any trouble, Alice?" Emmett asked, startled to find the two of us waiting for him in the hallway.

"Not in the slightest," she said with a cheerful smile. "Just wanted to make sure we were clear on where we're sitting today."

"Since when has that required hallway meetings?" Emmett asked.

"Since Edward decided he'd rather sit with someone else," Alice laughed.

I raised an eyebrow. "He's going to spend time with Bella again, I take it?"

"You _must_ be joking!" Rosalie angrily replied, clearly infuriated by the thought.

"Please, Rosalie, at least give her a chance. This is very important to me _and _Edward. Can't we offer them at least a little bit of privacy?"

"No!" Rosalie snapped.

"Yes," I said quietly, measuring my sister carefully. "Enough is enough, Rosalie. We can give Edward that."

Rosalie was absolutely livid. "We _can't_. She knows too much already. We can't trust him with her!"

I watched the students around us slow, staring as we quietly continued our debate. Their interest was understandable. With the exception of lunch and the drive to and from school, it was unusual for us to be seen together. And with good reason. The attention our presence caused was unquestionably disconcerting. I wanted to get this argument over with quickly. "Edward won't mind if we listen in from a distance."

"I don't see why we owe Edward _anything_," Rosalie snarled, turning away from us.

"I think I can drum up a few favors Edward could hang over our heads," Alice said, her voice still determinedly cheerful. "I'm actually a little surprised you can't, Rosalie. I know you can't see the future, but I wasn't aware you had problems remembering the past."

Emmett's lips twitched and he struggled to swallow a laugh. At the murderous look on Rosalie's face, his expression sobered and he moved to follow after her. For once, I intervened.

"Allow me."

Carefully maneuvering through the crowd of humans with as little contact as possible, I found Rosalie's wrist and pulled her into a powerful wave of calm. The sudden emotional shift stalled her for a moment, and she turned to me with a look that might have been angry, had I allowed room for her to actually feel it. My "gift" was always more potent with the benefit of physical contact.

"Let go, Jasper," Rosalie said in a low voice, though she did not attempt to break my light grip on her wrist. "I have every right to try and stop Edward. He's putting all of us at risk and you know it."

"I do. But you would likely act no differently in his situation."

I quelled her rage before she could muster it. "I would _never_ put the family in jeopardy the way he has."

"Really?" I muttered, "You would not be willing to sacrifice my well-being for Emmett's sake?"

Her resolve faltered. "That's—"

"That's something of the same," I interrupted. "Let Edward have his chance at happiness for once, Rosalie. Like it or not, the girl may be a Cullen some day."

"It would be better if she become food for one," Rosalie murmured, staring at the ground. "Better to have lived and died a human."

I shrugged. Though I was not yet cold enough to have forgotten my humanity, I had been seen far too much carnage and bloodshed as a vampire to ever look back on my mortal life with any sort of clarity. "I don't think Edward would agree with you. At least not for now."

"Do you actually support this?" she demanded. "Do you think it's _possible_ for something like us to _love_ humans? For a farmer to _love_ the chickens he slaughters?"

No, I didn't. But Alice said it was possible, and that was more than good enough for me. "Just bear with it for the day if you can't manage anything else."

But Rosalie was finished with me. She broke my hold on her wrist and stormed through the cafeteria entrance in a huff, purposefully striding past the table Edward had made himself comfortable at without a passing glance.

Exasperated by her reaction, I could only offer him a hopeless attempt at a smile.

_Good luck_.

And I meant it. Even if I could not will myself to entirely accept it.

Alice and Emmett were not far behind. I stood at the table and waited for her, gently pulling out a seat in preparation for her arrival. Of course, being sure to lay claim to the two seats that could best observe the exchange between Edward and the girl did not hurt matters, either. However, it was an unnecessary gesture. Emmett simply sank into the seat beside Rosalie, shaking his head as though convinced that Edward had finally lost his mind. But Alice took her seat beside me with a gracious smile, clearly excited by whatever was about to unfold.

"Whether he admits it or not, I _will_ get to talk to her," she declared. "And soon…Just as long as he's careful to keep from following her to Biology."

I nodded, recalling my own embarrassing weakness and cringing away from the subject. Though I knew it would be a mistake to approach the science department as long as students were drawing blood, it still hurt my pride to leave when Emmett and Rosalie were so confident of their self-control. Edward's sudden desire to spend time with Bella was a welcome distraction from my own weakness.

We did not have to wait very long for the show to begin.

Bella made her way into the lunchroom with the rest of the humans, and, as usual, locked eyes with our table. True to form, we shifted in our seats a little, murmuring jokes here and there to make the atmosphere look a little lighter. Alice was threatening to bounce out of her chair in anticipation, and Rosalie was a storm of frustration. But Bella was not concerned with what _we _were doing. Her eyes roamed the seats, failed to find the family member they sought, and dropped to the floor dejectedly.

Edward saw the movement and made an impatient movement to get her attention, but quickly straightened himself back into position.

We all pretended not to look as she purchased a bottle of lemonade and went back to her seat. She was so clearly disappointed that I could hardly take the situation seriously. The whole affair was starting to get a little ridiculous.

Luckily, Bella's friend did not appear to suffer from a similar case of tunnel vision. "Edward Cullen is staring at you again," she murmured, her eyes on my brother. "I wonder why he's sitting alone today?"

Bella straightened immediately and, with a quick scan of the room, her eyes found Edward and refused to let go. All her disappointment evaporated in an instant.

Grateful for the attention, Edward made a motion for her to join him. She blinked, startled, and her mouth fell open as gave a wink of encouragement.

Definitely, definitely ridiculous.

"Does he mean _you_?" her blond friend asked. Her jealousy was palpable.

"Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework," Bella replied, clearly unsure of how to approach my brother's sudden change in behavior. I snorted despite myself. It was highly doubtful that a high school student had much to say about Biology that would impress someone already carrying two medical degrees. "Um, I'd better go see what he wants."

She staggered over to meet him—tripping over herself twice in the process, such was the depth of her coordination—and Edward took a quick, purposeful breath through his nose. I cringed at even the _imagined _scent. Was he masochistic? Did he _want_ to kill her in front of all these witnesses?

"Why don't you sit with me today?" he asked.

She stood in front of the seat for an uncertain moment but finally complied, her body movements rigid with shock. She sat with her back to us, and I could not see her face when she was at last situated. It was a little disappointing. While it would not affect my ability to follow her emotions, it always felt somewhat incomplete without some sort of visible reaction.

"This is different," she said after a pause.

"Well…" Edward began, his eyes watching hers carefully, "I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."

Rosalie bit back a snarl, "The idiot! He's dragging us _all_ to hell!"

Emmett's mouth puckered in an effort to suppress a smile, but he was not foolish enough to actually laugh. Instead, he reached over to place her hand in his, all the while taking deep breaths through his nose in an obvious attempt to force down his amusement.

"You know I don't have any idea what you mean," Bella said at last, seemingly unaware of the venomous glare Rosalie was drilling into the back of her head.

Edward smiled, a faint wave of relief washing through him. "I know."

_Watch your words, Edward,_ I warned. While Rosalie was certainly overacting, there was no denying that he was far too comfortable with the girl. Our human façade was already in danger; there was no need to drop it completely.

He purposely moved his eyes away from her—that is, away from _our_ line of vision—and focused them on another abandoned group of onlookers. It appeared they were barely more comfortable with the situation than we were. Her sidekick—the blond boy—was visibly fidgeting with anxiety.

"I think your friends are angry at me for stealing you," he said, smiling at the obvious understatement.

"They'll survive."

"I may not give you back though," he continued, his voice not quite light enough to let it pass for a joke.

Rosalie ground her teeth with a vicious hiss, accidentally cracking off a piece of her lunch tray in nervous fury. Even I was getting a little on edge as he laughed at the girl's obvious fear.

_Careful, Edward…_

"You look worried," Edward continued, watching her again. He kept staring at her with such undisguised passion…as though she were the first human he had ever seen with perfect clarity. Or perhaps I was simply reading too much into the expression. It may very well have been a means of distracting him from the girl's smell.

"No," Bella answered, her voice breaking in the middle of the word. "Surprised, actually…What brought this on?"

"I told you. I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up," I could not imagine how he could maintain his smile with Rosalie hissing obscenities at him between every word.

"Giving up?" she asked, confused. I supposed she would be. The girl had no idea how hard Edward had struggled the past month to spare her of his presence. She could not possibly understand the significance his actions would have for both her and the rest of our family.

"Yes—giving up trying to be good," Edward continued, suddenly far too intense for anyone's comfort. "I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may."

_Brave words, considering the circumstances_. _Not to mention unabashedly selfish. _But never mind. It would be a wonder if he could even hear me over Rosalie's concentrated stream of threats.

"Um, Rose?" Emmett whispered, breaking into my "twin's" hateful reverie.

"What do you want, Emmett?" she spat, annoyed with the interruption.

"Nothing too big, babe. Just, if you have a minute, could you take your nails out of my hand?"

My irritable sister shoved him away from her, snarling with rage.

I lost the girl's response in Rosalie's fury, but Edward seemed to relax again. "I always say too much when I'm talking to you—that's one of the problems."

A problem he had neglected to mention to the rest of the family, apparently.

"Don't worry," she assured him. "I don't understand any of it."

"I'm counting on that."

I nodded. We all were.

"So, in plain English, are we friends now?" she asked. I wondered if Edward could feel how…_eager_ she was to hear his response.

Alice was practically bouncing in her seat with glee.

"Friends…" Edward said, strangely dissatisfied. I concentrated harder on the emotion, unable to even begin to understand its source. Judging from his inexplicable behavior this morning, I thought that would be what he _wanted_.

"Or not," Bella murmured, sensing his hesitance as well.

My brother smiled, his discontentment quelled for the moment. "Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you."

I could hear her heartbeat race even in the midst of the other conversations floating around the cafeteria. My hunger had started drawing my attention to even the slightest changes in blood flow with alarming frequency. "You say that a lot."

I wondered what else he had told her that he had neglected to share with the rest of us. Even Emmett was beginning to look uncomfortable.

"Yes, because you're not listening to me," Edward insisted. "I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me."

"'_You'll avoid me_,' he says. Well, that would be quite a bit easier to accomplish if _he_ had avoided having these little lunchtime chats," Rosalie growled.

"Oh, Edward doesn't mean it. He's just giving her the opportunity to choose," Alice explained. "He knows he can't stay away from her, so he's trying to encourage _her_ to stay away from _him_. It's not going to work or anything, but I guess you can't blame him for trying…"

"So," Bella said, weighing her words carefully. "As long as I'm being…not smart, we'll try to be friends?"

"That sounds about right," Edward agreed.

She bowed her head, and Edward leaned forward with interest. He was so powerfully _curious_ about her! I could not imagine how a human could be so captivating. It defied explanation. Even without being able to hear her thoughts, humans were fairly predictable.

"What are you thinking?"

She straightened and he took a quick breath of air. I could see the slight pink around her ears and recoiled from the blind desire her blush engulfed him in. He was right. The closer I was to him, the more powerful the desire grew.

"I'm trying to figure out what you are."

Edward's smile froze in place, and his desire was quickly quenched by panic. We were all suddenly anxious. I stopped breathing in an attempt to better hear her response, and even Rosalie quieted her complaints.

"Are you having any luck with that?" he asked.

"Not too much."

He gave a low, relieved laugh. "What are your theories?"

She did not answer. Rosalie made a motion to get up from the table, but Emmett kept her still. We _needed_ to know this. She had seen Edward run at superhuman speed and lift a vehicle with one hand. What _did_ she think we were…?

Edward's voice became more persuasive. "Won't you tell me?"

She shook her head instantly. "Too embarrassing."

His attempt at persuasion gave way to annoyed curiosity. "That's _really_ frustrating, you know."

Not to mention dangerous…

"No," Bella answered, her voice suddenly bitter. "I can't _imagine_ why that would be frustrating at all—just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean…now, why would that be frustrating?"

Alice laughed at Edward's frown. "That's Bella for you." I shook my head at her obvious delight. I wondered what the girl would think of Alice when they did finally meet. It would be difficult for Alice to ever treat her like a stranger.

"Or better yet," Bella continued, clearly aware that she had Edward trapped in her accusation, "say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things—from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that either, even after he promised. That, also, would be _very_ non-frustrating."

I raised an eyebrow. I had not been aware that Edward had promised to explain himself to the girl. He had not yet completely explained himself to any of us. Were it not for Alice, it was likely we would never have known what had gone through his head.

"You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?" Edward asked, sidestepping the accusation.

"I don't like double standards."

I gave a low laugh, much to the surprise of the rest of the table. But it _was_ funny, in a bitter sort of way. If Bella refused to accept double standards, then she would _really _be in for an unsatisfying friendship. Double standards were all she would be permitted to have. She would simply have to learn to adjust.

Edward eyes slowly looked past her—back to the blond boy that sat at Bella's usual table—and laughed.

"What?" she demanded.

"Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you—he's debating whether or not to come break up our fight." He chuckled again, and with good reason. The unfortunate child would be lucky if he escaped with a single bone intact.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bella answered, suddenly annoyed. "But I'm sure you're wrong anyway."

"I'm not. I told you, most people are easy to read."

I smiled. _Or "listen to," as the case may be._

"Except me, of course."

"Yes. Except for you." Much to the torment of the rest of us. "I wonder why that is?"

He studied her again. A part of me wanted to move and catch a glimpse of her face. I could not imagine what about it held his interest so fully.

When she did not respond, he moved the subject to safer ground. "Aren't you hungry?"

"No," she said, her head bowed toward the table. "You?"

"No, I'm not hungry," he answered, suppressing a smile. That much was obvious. She would likely be dead, otherwise.

"Well, _I'm_ hungry," Emmett muttered. "Hope he's still on for this weekend after this love fest."

"_Shh!_" Alice whispered, still obviously enjoying herself.

"Could you do me a favor?" Bella asked suddenly.

_No!_ I thought immediately.

Fortunately, it appeared Edward had retained at least some sense of secrecy. "That depends on what you want."

"It's not much." When it was clear he would not respond, she shyly continued. "I just wondered…if you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my good. Just so I'm prepared."

He smiled. "That sounds fair."

"Thanks."

They were both enshrouded in identical clouds of relief.

"Then can I have one in return?" Edward asked.

"One," she agreed.

"Tell me _one _theory."

What little I could see of her face reddened once more. "Not that one."

"You didn't qualify, you just promised one answer," Edward reminded her. I leaned a little closer, interested in what response could possibly embarrass her. Perhaps she was more perceptive than even _she _knew.

"And you've broken promises yourself," she reminded him, forcing him back into place.

I smiled at Edward's annoyance._ That's what happens when you're foolish enough to promise the truth to a human._

He dodged the subject again. "Just one theory—I won't laugh."

"Yes, you will."

He leaned toward her and lowered his voice to a gentler octave. "Please?"

Rosalie made a gagging noise. _"Idiot!"_

"Er, what?" the girl asked, sounding strangely dazed. How strange…I could not make sense of her reaction. It was so frustrating! I felt yet another intense desire to see her face.

"Please tell me just one little theory," he asked again.

"Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?"

Comic books. Lovely.

I threw my hands through my hair, disappointed in myself for being so interested. She was not _that_ different from other humans after all.

Edward was nothing but relieved. "That's not very creative."

"I'm sorry, that's all I've got."

At least we had that to be thankful for…

"You're not even close."

Until he starts to goad her toward the right answer, at any rate. _Edward…_

"Just _shut up_ already!" Rosalie hissed.

"No spiders?" Bella asked.

"Nope."

"And no radioactivity?"

"None."

"Dang," she sighed.

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me either," he said with a chuckle.

"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?"

His smile vanished instantly.

"I'll figure it out eventually," she threatened.

"I wish you wouldn't try," Edward said, at last serious. He needed to be. We all were.

"Because…?"

"What if I'm not a superhero?" he asked. "What if I'm the bad guy?"

It was too much. It was much, much, _much_ too much.

"Oh," Bella said. "I see."

"Do you?" he asked, his expression strangely eager. I shook my head. Was he _trying_ to give away our secret? Didn't she already know too much as it was?

"You're dangerous?" she asked, her heart racing again.

I tensed to interfere, but Alice kept me seated. "Relax. It will be all right."

"But not bad," she whispered when Edward did not answer. I was amazed at her emotional clarity. She was still afraid, but it was not the _right_ fear. Not the fear that would prove her a liar. "No, I don't believe that you're bad."

"You're wrong," he said, taking the cap from her bottle of lemonade and spinning it like a top, her eyes never leaving her.

She suddenly jumped to her feet. "We're going to be late."

I stood up as well, grateful that the conversation was coming to an end. "I should be leaving now, too. Give Cassie my regards," I murmured.

"Will do," Emmett promised.

The rest of the family rose to go as well, though Rosalie watched the rest of their exchange with her eyes ablaze with betrayal.

While the others moved to class I sidestepped the science hall and made my way out the emergency exit and into the woods surrounding the school just as the final bell rang.

Even before I began my new "life" as one of the never-aging, there was something about the forest that appealed to me. As a human I had always gotten along well with others—I was even popular, in my own way—but being around any group of people for any particular length of time was always taxing. In Texas, I had taken out my stress by going on patrol, doing some riding or walking along the shallow pits that would serve as graves for an untold number of friends and comrades. Then, when I passed into this new life, I would study the sky. It never ceased to amaze me how _immense_ it seemed there. Most of Texas—the part of Texas I grew up in, at any rate—was much the same as any other piece of America. Grass, trees and brush dotted the landscape, the occasional snake and the friendlier wildlife sometimes made themselves known, and all the standards pieces of nature were in place just as they are anywhere else. Except the sky. The Texas of my mind's eye is always engulfed in inky midnight with the barest sliver of a moon and an infinitum of stars cutting through the deep blue-black. And it was beautiful. All of my memories of the South are drenched in blood or the powerful stench of burning newborns, except that cold, stunning sky.

The sky loses that feeling in Washington. It is still peaceful, of course, but the constant moisture hanging in the air makes everything feel…closer. And the foliage is so much larger and greener. I have spent endless hours after the hunt staring up through the trees, half-convinced that the only things keeping the sky from engulfing the entire peninsula were those thick, massive blankets of foliage.

So, free of any other obligations, I made myself comfortable against one of the trees that surrounded the school, half-crushing moss between my fingers and permitting the rain that misted through the branches to fall over my face.

I was surprised by how long it had been since I allowed myself to simply relax. It seemed ages ago. I closed my eyes, willing myself to let go of the control that dominated my existence. But my mind would not grant me that gift. It continually raced over school, and hunger, and my neglected obligations to Cassie. I could hardly wait to leave town and have a satisfying hunt. It was true that I had not committed to Emmett and Edward's trip to Goat Rocks Wilderness, but I could likely get one of the others to accompany me for at least a day or two. I had told Cassie I had plans, after all. Making her cry was thing, but lying to her on top of that seemed excessive.

With a sigh, I checked my watch and headed back toward the parking lot. Just one class left. Just one more class and another day of human drudgery would be out of the way…

"Where do you think you're going?"

I froze at the sound of Edward's voice, surprised at the unmistakable tenor of frustration coloring his tone. It seemed he was talking to someone in the parking lot.

"I'm going home," another voice—a voice that was growing _far _too familiar—responded, seemingly confused in the wake of Edward's sudden anger.

"Didn't you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?"

I chanced looking out into the lot and found Edward and Bella standing in the middle of the lot, my brother's hand tight on the back of the girl's rain jacket. I carefully inhaled through my nose, sampling the wind with an apprehensive frown. The air seemed clean of the scent of blood. That, at least, was a relief.

In fact, Bella appeared as confused by the situation I had stumbled upon as I myself was. "What condition? And what about my truck?"

"I'll have Alice drop it off after school."

I clenched my teeth at Edward's off-handed promise. Was he going to do away with her out of town and expect Alice to pick up the pieces for him? I could not allow that. All the more so because I knew she would agree instantly if Edward asked her… But I could not bring myself to confront him. It seemed foolish to allow the situation to continue in such an open arena, but even more so to jeopardize whatever little sense of abstinence I retained if Bella's scent proved especially sweet for me as well. What was the right answer…?

I had yet to reach a decision when Edward began to pull her toward the Volvo.

"Let go!" she cried, twisting away from him and barely maintaining her balance. "You are so _pushy!_"

"It's open," Edward replied, sliding himself into the driver's seat.

The engine roared to life in a moment. If I was going to help the girl, it would be now or never. But if he were truly taking her against her will, then there was something wrong with the situation…

Bella did not run away. She merely stood outside in the rain, stubbornly glaring at his car. "I am perfectly capable of driving myself home!" she declared, staring at the car as the passenger window rolled down.

"Get in, Bella," my brother said again, his voice decidedly calm.

She hesitated, her body tilted slightly in the direction of her own vehicle.

"I'll just drag you back," Edward warned.

I took a step forward and paused again. The girl was not happy with Edward's response, certainly, but the only emotion I could sense was chagrin. There was no fear. There was not even a particularly desirous vein to Edward's emotional wavelength. For a vampire preparing to drag his prey away to devour, the whole situation was decidedly calm.

I was still juggling possibilities when Bella, despite her clear reluctance to give Edward the satisfaction of her compliance, willingly climbed into the car.

In seconds the window was rolled up again and the Volvo drove out of the parking lot. And I had done absolute nothing to stop it. But if I moved fast, I could probably stop them. More importantly, it might stop _him_ from making a horrible mistake. I groaned in frustration. If only I could make better sense of what was going on!

I tensed at the sudden vibration of my cell phone against my pant leg, only to relax again upon seeing the name displayed across the screen. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jazz," Alice said, her smile audible. "Just took a quick bathroom break to tell you not to stalk the Volvo back to Chief Swan's. He'll behave. Thanks so much for looking after Bella for me, though! Oh, and I already told Carlisle and Esme that you plan to hunt with me over the weekend. Hope you don't mind and I'll see you after class. Bye!"

I closed the phone with a shake of my head, staring out at the empty road for a long moment before finally making my way back into the school.

Edward had not forsaken his good behavior for a full twenty-four hours, and I was already losing my mind.


	9. Frustration

_Author's Note:_ Sorry for the delay. I wanted to create a chess game with eight boards that is actually playable…not to mention try and refrain from putting you all to sleep in the process of writing about it.

Unfortunately, this chapter doesn't _entirely_ encompass the happenings of "Melody." Things get prioritized just a little bit differently in Jasper's version. :)

* * *

**CHAPTER 9: FRUSTRATION**

I slipped into Psychology without any trouble and did my best to pretend interest.

The topic was conditioning. The class had already stumbled through most of the men that had shaped the field, and was now focusing on Edward Thorndike. Had I not been distracted by the chaos taking hold of my own family, I would have felt sorry for my fellow students. Mr. Walden was not what I would call a particularly "thorough" teacher, and the class was hardly informative. Still, I tried to be attentive as the teacher droned on about the psychologist and his puzzle boxes.

To be honest, I felt like the victim of a puzzle box myself. Thorndike had placed cats in specially designed crates and cages, and conditioned them to make certain movements that would release the latch on their cage and allow them to escape. It was easy to understand how the poor creatures must have felt trapped in the dark and left to flail around until they reacted in a way that would restore some sense of order. It seemed like Bella's arrival had thrown the whole family into a cage of sorts, and all we could do was wait for her or Edward to give us a clue on how best to respond to the situation.

I clenched my knees to avoid snapping the desk in two in the wake of my frustration. I was so tired of being in the dark! It was driving me insane to bide my time without understanding what was going on…

I was still feeling a bit grim when the bell rang and Alice and I made our way to the parking lot. The Volvo was back, and Rosalie was only seconds in front of us. I paused in the wake of her sudden irritation upon entering the vehicle. Of course she would be angry. Bella's scent likely filled the car.

And, sure enough, my mouth welled with venom before I had fully made myself comfortable beside her. I had never been close enough to the girl to notice the special quality her scent had. It was surprisingly floral, and somewhat sweeter than I was used to. I had never smelled anything quite like it before. I inhaled again, enjoying the unexpected aroma. Of course, my desire was nothing in comparison to Edward's, but I could not deny that even I took special interest in the fragrance.

I caught Edward watching me through the rearview mirror and did my best to disregard the notion. His eyes were ablaze with accusations I did not feel the need to encourage. Certainly I liked the girl's scent, but I was not foolish enough to pursue the interest. Even Edward had to grant that I had more control than _that._

Alice broke the tension by skipping over to Edward's side of the vehicle and holding her hand out expectantly.

"I only saw that I was," she said simply. "You'll have to tell me the whys."

Edward was dubious in the wake of her eager expression. It appeared I was not the only one he was uncomfortable with at the moment, though I could not understand his desire to keep Alice away. Alice would never be any threat to Bella. "This doesn't mean—"

"I know, I know. I'll wait. It won't be long."

He sighed and relinquished the key to her eager fingers. In mere moments she made herself at home in the girl's truck and we were all on our way to Bella's house.

I tried my best not to dwell on my surroundings as we pulled up her driveway in the pounding rain. It would be more than embarrassing if Edward discovered I had been spying on the girl during his absence, and I did not need to give him another reason to overreact.

Luckily, Edward appeared distracted as we waited for Alice to park the vehicle. He was staring up at the girl's window with a distinctly melancholy aura about him. It was…odd, the way his eyes immediately fell there of all places. How did _he _know which one was hers? Unless…

My eyes widened as things started to snap into place. Unless I was not the only one who had decided to spy on Bella.

I was grateful when Alice opened the door and nestled into the seat beside me. It was a welcome distraction as we made our way home in silence. Even Rosalie had nothing to say, though she was hardly any more bearable for it. Between Bella's scent and her aggravation, the car was positively suffocating.

We could not get home soon enough.

We hardly waited for the car to come to a complete stop before drifting out separate ways. Alice made herself comfortable at the computer, busying herself with yet another fashion creation for Rosalie. She had always loved dressing all of us, but Rosalie—while perhaps not her favorite subject—was by far the most willing. However, it seemed that this time my blond sister was too irritated to even obsess over herself, and was furiously cycling through channels without a second's pause, her very position on the couch designed to accentuate her annoyance.

Emmett had grabbed a tall stack of chess boards from the closet and was in the process of lining them against the long glass back wall. He met my passive glance with a challenging grin, and I moved to join him with the set-up.

"Double-Alice?" I asked as I assembled the pieces.

He shrugged. "Sure. Do you want three worlds or four this time?"

"Four, I think."

Though we had initially invented the game in hopes of counteracting Alice's uncanny ability to see our moves before we played them—or, as Emmett called it, "cheating"—Double-Alice actually got its name from the protagonist of Lewis Carroll's _Alice in Wonderland_ novels. The eight boards were divided into four "double boards," which played as a normal board but with twice as many pieces. The double boards on either end were given pieces at the beginning of the game, while the two in the center were left blank. The idea was that each piece would move normally, but shift from their current board—"reality," if you will—and the equivalent space on the blank boards, or "mirror worlds." As a result, pieces could only attack one another when they were on adjacent boards, and, to keep things interesting, we generally kept by the rule that at least two of the kings had to be captured within the mirror in order to win legitimately. While it had done little to curb Alice's proficiency at the game, Emmett had taken to it almost immediately.

Emmett snatched two of the queens away and threw his hands behind his back. I listened carefully to the movements of his fingertips against the wooden pieces, doing my best to detect any subtle movements from one hand to the next.

"_Now_," Emmett said with a flourish, bringing his fists forward, "do you want left or right?"

"Right," I said, prying the white queen from his fist and moving to the white side of the table.

"Damn it," he muttered. "_Every_ time!"

I tried not to smile as I made moved my pawn onto the blank board. To be honest, I was grateful to have the first move. While Emmett was easy to predict, he was hardly stupid. He specialized in fast, brutal victories. I had the tendency to conserve my pieces and strategize, and it was not always effective against his bolder, aggressive openings. I needed to make a strong start.

Edward moved closer to watch and Emmett gave a quick shake of his head before bringing out his knight. I could understand this reaction. While we were willing to try to bring Alice into our game, only she would ever dare to play Edward. It was difficult enough when Alice picked up our moves without "hearing" the thought process associated with it. Edward not only knew what we would do, but also which pieces were _not_ holding our attention. It did not do to have a mental battle with someone who could read your thoughts.

Edward smiled vaguely at the thought, watching as I brought out my bishop. Despite the handicap, Emmett was building the boards more quickly than I was, and it was a dangerous position for my rook.

I caught a small white hand waving out of the corner of my eye, and did my best to look deep in thought as I glanced up.

Alice peeked around the corner of the wall where her computer was purring and gave me a quick wink. "_Knight to E-5 on board 2,"_ she mouthed.

I gave a little nod, as though confirming some thought in my mind, and looked back at the board. Careful to look nonchalant, I moved another pawn to guard the E-5 position. Emmett swore and backed off.

The game continued, with Alice occasionally giving me a hand until I had picked off all of Emmett's knights, a queen and a king. The game was turning around, and I had always excelled at the end game.

I smiled as Emmett looked behind him barely a heartbeat after Alice had disappeared from sight.

"Check."

Edward drifted away from the game and out of sight. We all paused for a moment as we heard the sound of piano scales. Alice rose from her place at the computer as the sound warped into the tentative beginning of an unfamiliar tune. It was unfinished, but there was something delicately provocative about the central melody.

Even Rosalie's finger skipped a beat on the remote as the melody shifted somewhere else, and, as though detecting the motion, the melody abruptly stopped and Edward barked a laugh. We all turned to see what had caused the sudden commotion, and Edward was looking at Rosalie with pure mirth in his eyes.

Esme descended the stairs in an instant, glancing between the pair with an uncertain pause. "Don't stop, Edward," she said at last.

He complied, turning away from Rosalie with a grin.

She stood up and stormed out of the room, very angry, but also very embarrassed. I heard him suppress another chortle.

"What's wrong, Rose?" Emmett called, distractedly placing his queen in a particularly inopportune position.

Rosalie would have none of it. With her back straight, she indignantly moved to the garage.

"What's that about?" Emmett asked, confused.

"I don't have the faintest idea." Edward said.

I smiled as Emmett grumbled about being kept out of the loop. Ah, Bella again, I would guess. It was the only thing that gave Rosalie's energy quite that flavor of anger.

"Keep playing," Esme urged softly.

Edward resumed again.

I took Emmett's forgotten queen and listened. The song was powerful in a way I could not place. Even unfinished, there was something satisfying about it. And from the way Edward kept fingering the bridge, it embodied something important to him.

"It's charming," Esme said, exuding happiness from every granite pore. "Does it have a name?"

"Not yet."

"Is there a story to it?" she pressed, her pleasure mounting.

Edward felt a strange trace of guilt in the wake of Esme's satisfaction. I frowned at the unwarranted emotion and cornered another of Emmett's kings as I listened. "Fool's mate," I murmured.

"It's…a lullaby, I suppose." The bridge raised an octave and connected to a new measure.

"A lullaby," Esme repeated.

A lullaby…? I thought of Edward's reaction at Bella's window—the way he seemed to _know_ it was her window—and made an extremely foolish move.

Emmett stole my queen with a gloating smirk. "Who's the fool now?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Says the fool who's still losing, I notice."

"Only because your psychic girlfriend helped you…" Emmett grumbled. "I _had_ you, Jazz! You can't deny that I was winning."

I kept my voice carefully smooth. "I'm sensing some unwarranted hostility, Emmett. Are you accusing _me_ of reading Alice's mind now?"

"I wouldn't be surprised. It's not like you two aren't already weird enough together…"

I opened my mouth to respond, but was quickly silenced by the most beautiful sound in the world. It was as though an angel had worked their hand through wind chimes… The game left my mind completely as I turned to see Alice sitting by Edward, her voice winding its way through his lullaby with crushing beauty. There was no sound so mind-crushingly lovely as Alice's singing.

Edward added to the melody and she found the notes with ease, matching and twisting along with the new development in her flawless, angel voice.

"Yes. Perfect," Edward said, continuing.

He was wrong. It was more than perfect. It was mesmerizing. It was awe-inspiring. It was Beauty incarnate and reason to believe in the Divine. I stopped breathing to better concentrate on the sound.

Her voice rose above the song and Edward playing dragged it lower. The melody moved into the sadness—even absolute desolation—and Alice solemned.

I took another breath, cringing away from the notes now. I had always had an ear for music, but it was sometimes difficult to tolerate. It always seemed as though certain songs had the habit of augmenting emotions to uncontrollable levels, and Edward's desolation suffocated the final note to the point where it was hard to distinguish whether it was me or him pitifully bowed over the piano keys.

I shivered at hearing Alice match such a sound. I would sacrifice my afterlife before she would ever endure that kind of pain.

He murmured something to Esme or Alice and gave one humourless chuckle. Then, with a sigh, he straightened. "Stop it, Mom, you're making me blush."

Alice laughed and played a little herself. Edward grinned, suddenly in better spirits, and completed the piece before moving on to another favorite little melody of hers—the first he had taught her to play—"Chopsticks."

Alice giggled and then sighed. "So I wish you'd tell me what you were laughing at Rose about. But I can see that you won't."

"Nope."

I heard the hard snap of granite against granite and smiled to myself. Alice was not one to take being denied very gracefully.

"Be nice, Alice," Esme chided. "Edward is being a gentleman."

"But I want to _know_," she whined. I could understand her frustration. It was almost as unusual for Alice to be left out of anything as it was for Edward.

Still, I could not help but laugh as I went back to the game. It appeared that Emmett had been rearranging the pieces in my mental absence.

Edward laughed as well. "Here, Esme," he said, playing the song he had composed for her.

I ignored Emmett's annoyed growl as I moved the pieces back to their rightful position, enjoying the lighter mood for the moment.

"How do I know _you're_ not putting them back the right way?" Emmett accused.

"Because as hard as it is to believe sometimes, you're an immortal, Emmett, not a child," I murmured, rolling my eyes. "The undead have photographic memories, remember? Besides, you wouldn't try that unless you knew where the game was going."

Emmett laughed. "Sometimes you give me a little bit too much credit, Jazz. I never know where anything is going in this house. Not even with Rose."

I moved the last piece to its rightful place. "Well, let me show you…" I took my turn, readying my bishop to move to the next board and claim his king. "Checkmate. Final mate in four."

"Yeah, right. I'm not _that_ predictable, Jazz."

I shrugged and forced back a smile as he moved his final king to the next board, exactly as planned. The game would be over before Edward hit the final note.

I could sense Emmett's growing frustration as my bishop forced him to move again. My pieces were already in place to take him on the last board, waiting for his king to be forced into position. Emmett saw what I was doing and made a low oath, sacrificing his only pawn on the board to delay the inevitable. I moved another queen through the looking glass and onto the second board, preparing it to move into the next board, where his king lay in my line of fire.

"Check," I said again, half-worried Emmett would overturn the board in his growing frustration.

But my brother merely growled and reluctantly moved his king to the only "safe" place on the last board. My knight found him, solidly pinning the piece in place.

"And that's mate," I muttered, forcing back a snicker as Edward's playing came to its gentle end.

Emmett threw the piece to its side and flicked my offending knight off the board.

"Replay," he growled. "Better yet, why don't we take this outside? I've got time. It's not like Rose wants anybody around."

"Alright…" I agreed, putting the pieces away. We could both use a means of releasing our frustrations.

"Oh!" Alice said suddenly. "Jasper, guess what?"

At first, I thought Edward's sudden silence was a courtesy, a means of giving me a moment to speak with Alice without interruption. It did not occur to me to pay too close attention to his emotions.

"What, Alice?" I asked.

"Peter and Charlotte are coming to visit next week! They're going to be in the neighborhood, isn't that nice?"

Peter and Charlotte…? It had been years since we had last seen one another. I smiled, eager to catch up with my old friends. Except…

"What's wrong Edward?" Esme asked, concerned.

Except Edward's agitation was now impossible to ignore.

"Peter and Charlotte are coming to _Forks?" _hehissed.

The faintest prickle of resentment warped my smile into a scowl, but Alice spoke before I could make my fury vocal. "Calm down, Edward. It's not their first visit."

I could hear his teeth snap together and fought the urge to mimic the motion. Who was he to treat my friends—indeed, the first immortal relationship revolving around something other than violence I had ever known—as monsters?

Alice was puzzled by Edward's overreaction. "They never hunt here. You know that."

"When?" he snarled, his voice low.

I clenched my fists to keep my own anger contained. Before Alice, Peter and Charlotte were my only friends. They were the ones who had introduced me to a lifestyle away from the constant wars of the South. Peter was the first to notice the adverse effect my "gift" was having on me—the only one who noticed the way my victims fear and panic affected _me._ It was true that they were not "vegetarians" like the Cullens, but neither of them would ever do anything to endanger our lifestyle in Forks. Were it not for them, I would still be the wild monster that Maria had bred me to be…

"Maria…" I murmured, staring at the crescent scars that feathered their way down my arms. If Alice was my light, then Maria was my midnight. Peter and Charlotte had freed me from that world…had made me believe that there could be something more. For Edward to treat them like they were wild nomads was utterly unforgivable!

"No," Edward said in answer to some stray though before making a move to get up. "You ready, Emmett?"

Emmett looked at me with undisguised longing. He was not one to tolerate being denied an opportunity for revenge. "I thought we were leaving in the morning!"

"We're coming back by midnight Sunday. I guess it's up to you when you want to leave."

A bitter snarl welled in the back of my throat. He was cutting the hunting trip short to monitor my friends…the _monsters_.

It appeared Emmett was as reluctant to cut the trip short as he was to leave me with my victory. With a resigned sigh, he turned away from me. "Okay, fine. Let me say goodbye to Rose first."

"Sure."

He shook his head at Edward's shortness and headed for the garage.

"I suppose I have," he said in response to Emmett's passing thought.

"Play the new song for me, one more time." Esme requested, clearly eager to break the tension.

"If you'd like that."

But I did not stay to hear his lullaby again. Without a backward glance, I ran into the woods, trying in vain to release my frustration.

No, that was not quite right. I was not "frustrated." I was _furious_. Furious at Edward for treating the only piece of my previous life I was not ashamed to acknowledge as something that must be defended against. Furious at Emmett and Esme for coddling his outrageous behavior. Furious at Rosalie for always running away in a huff rather than actually _doing_ something other than complain… And, most of all, I was furious with Bella. Furious beyond even my own understanding. I wanted to scream in protest of her humanity, her ignorance and fragility. I wanted her to pay for the inexplicable hold she had on Edward and—more importantly—Alice…

I pounded my fist into a tree and sent it crashing to the ground with a satisfying crack.

I did not want to admit the truth...

I did not want to admit that I was furious with myself for behaving little better than Rosalie.


	10. Limits

_Author's Note: _I thought I might thank TwilightMomofTwo and rameau for going the extra mile with their support and criticism. I owe you both.

* * *

**CHAPTER 10: LIMITS**

I continued to roam the woods until the sky was colored with the barest glimmers of dawn.

For once, I did not attempt to abate my fury with blood. Some childish part of me utterly refused to feed on deer when my brothers would soon be sinking his teeth into more worthwhile game. Instead, after decimating a few trees and frightening off what little wildlife that did not already flee at my presence, I sprawled out on the ground and stared up at the sky, refusing to move as the moon made its slow trek through the break in the trees.

For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, I wished for sleep. I did not have to dream—indeed, I had little interest in dreams—so long as I could have even an hour's reprieve from my own convoluted thoughts.

Perhaps it wasn't that vampires were incapable of sleep, but simply that they were too impatient. I smiled at the thought and slowly closed my eyes. Maybe all it took was staying perfectly still like this for a few years… If I could just find a way to distance myself from the hunger ripping its way through my stomach and clawing at my throat, it would be easy enough to test the theory…

For whatever reason, the ridiculous thought actually comforted me, and my anger slowly cooled into acceptance. There was no need to react to Edward's obvious mental illness with outrage. After all, every male the girl spoke to seemed to be driven insane in some way or another…

I grinned into the darkness and sat up, leisurely picking the dead leaves from my hair in the process. Only days ago I had nearly killed the love of my life's very best friend—the fact that they had yet to speak being entirely irrelevant to the status of their friendship, of course—and now I inexplicably felt the right to criticize the rest of my family's relationships. My grin wilted into a grimace. Perhaps Edward was not the only one in the house who was suffering from sort of crippling mental deficiency. At least he wasn't lying in the middle of the woods, laughing at himself in the dark…

With a low sigh and one last glance at the sky, I walked back home. At least the day would be more bearable with the promise of friends and sunlight in my future.

Esme met me at the door, a peculiar strain of relief accompanying her gentle smile. "Welcome home, Jasper. It's good to see you back."

I hesitated, put off by warmth of Esme's greeting. Running off for a few hours was a common occurrence within the Cullen household. Even Esme, as tenderhearted as she was, did not generally feel the need to greet a returning family member at the door. "I apologize if I was missed. Did you need me my assistance with something?"

I caught Esme studying the dark hue of my eyes and accepted the assault on my pride without comment. It only made sense that she would think I left to hunt. I was the weak link in the family, after all. Why would she expect me to discipline myself without the help of blood?

"No, it was nothing like that," Esme said, all other emotion disappearing in waves of gentleness. "I suppose I was just getting a little sentimental. Carlisle was barely in the house for a full half hour before getting a call about a traffic accident, and it looks like he'll be spending the next couple of days at the hospital. I would never begrudge him his duties anymore than I would Edward and Emmett's hunting excavation, but the house always seems a little colder with you boys away... I think we were all starting to get a little depressed with everyone away."

"I'm very sorry to hear that," I said quietly, staring at the wall beyond her to avoid any unnecessary confrontation.

Esme's eagerness to see me made sense now. She and Rosalie were doubtlessly feeling their mates' absences. Of course they would want me here. At least I could keep their emotional climate at something resembling contentment. Leaving had made them unnecessarily uncomfortable.

A shadow of the anger I had cast into the woods came lingering back, seething quietly in the back of my mind.

Esme, however, was oblivious to the fury that was quickly poisoning my thoughts. She waved away my apology with a quiet chuckle. "There's no need to apologize. You didn't send the rest of the boys away. I'm just very glad to see you back. Did you manage to finish all your schoolwork last night?"

"Not yet. I thought I might glance through it after changing," my words came out a fraction slower than usual as I stared at her sunny smile with a touch of disbelief. I could not believe we were talking about _homework._ With the exception of Carlisle, I was the oldest member of the household. I had been trusted with the lives of hundreds of men even before I had become a part of this new eternity. The idea of bringing my eighteen year old human façade home with me was beyond loathsome.

"Well, I won't keep you then," Esme said, her every movement soft and gentle. Much to my surprise, she quickly squeezed my hand in both of hers before freeing my way to the staircase. "Just take care of yourself, dear."

Unsure of how to respond, I made my way up to my study to find the door open and ready for me. A fresh set of clothes was draped over my lounge chair, and Alice quietly occupied the seat at my desk.

"Welcome back," she murmured, her head bowed over her work. "I borrowed a few of your graphite pencils. I saw that you wouldn't mind."

I smiled, smoothly changing my clothes and leaning over the desk to observe her handiwork. Her soft, fluid strokes came together to form the loose impression of a blue jay feeding her chicks, their nest lovingly encased in the delicate branches of an oak tree.

"It's beautiful," I said, my eyes following her hands as she easily worked in shadows and manipulated the texture of the oak leaves. "Was it done entirely freehand?"

She wrinkled her nose, "Well, I've been trying my hand at keeping a mental eye on the family of jays living near the north side of the house, but I can only get a few glimpses here and there. We were supposed to do an observational piece, but Mrs. Hart shouldn't notice..."

I nodded and grabbed the math packet from my bag. The sheets took seconds to finish, and I had read for my other classes months ago. It did not take long to put everything away and allow my attention to drift back to Alice's lovely hands.

She tucked her name into the corner with her usual elegant scrawl and turned her face to meet mine, her emotions unreadable. "You had us worried last night."

My smile disappeared. "Yes, I heard. It must be extremely uncomfortable for you all with Rosalie seething and no one to calm her down."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Alice demanded, her wind chime voice barely louder than a whisper. There was a rare spark of anger lacing its way through each word.

"Esme greeted me at the door today complaining that the house was 'cold' without the others here," my voice was frigid. "I suppose it's a good way to put it. After all, I am basically the climate conditioner of the family, correct?"

"Jazz…" she said, her lips threatening to pinch into a pout.

But I was in no mood for Alice's attempts to comfort me. I was tired of weighing down others. "Please, Alice. I don't need your pity."

"Pity…? What _are _you talking about? I wasn't going to_ pity _you! I was about to talk some _sense_ into you!" Alice exclaimed, sticking her tongue out at the very suggestion.

"Sense...?"

Alice sighed. "Jazz, my love, don't be an idiot. We've been here for fifty years now and it never occurred to you that maybe someone here other than me actually considers you _family?"_

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "I'm a _burden_ on this family! I'm not like them, Alice. They all notice the way I struggle…"

"They all notice how hard you _try, _Jasper!" Alice cried, pulling my hands into her lap.

I shook my head, but kept my hands where she put them. Even angry, I craved Alice's touch above all else. "Please, Alice. I'm more like Peter than any of the Cullens, and look how Edward reacted when he found out he and Charlotte were on their way."

"But Jasper, that's _just_ Edward that's being that way! And you know as well as I do that it's only because he goes just the tiniest bit overboard when it comes to Bella's safety. Instead of worrying about that, you should be focusing on is the fact that he's _not_ worried about you! He's _not_ monitoring how much you eat, or trying to keep you out of school, or…or any other wild thing he might come up with if your control was a legitimate threat! And even if he was, for you to turn around and project Edward's feelings onto Esme…" Alice sighed and traced the ridges of my scars with her fingertips. Her voice was incredibly soft when she finally met my gaze again. "Jazz, when you left all I could see was a slew of senseless destruction and then…and then nothing. What was I supposed to think when I saw you laying on the ground with absolutely no intention of ever getting up? What was I supposed to do…?"

"Alice…" I began, moving closer.

"Don't say it," she said quickly, moving her hands from my scars to my lips. "No more apologies from you."

I managed the slightest smile and pulled her fingers off my face. "How do you always manage to do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make me feel like all my bad moods are utterly pointless."

She gave a pleased shrug and stood up, pulling me along with one hand and tucking away her sketch in the other. "I just point out the obvious, love. You do the pointless part all by yourself."

Rosalie was already waiting for us in the garage, her sinuous frame tensed over the steering wheel. She stared hard at my face as I ducked into the backseat, but, oddly enough, kept silent about my absence.

"I didn't think you two would mind if I drove this morning," she said as she backed the car out of the garage. "I thought it might be nice to do something besides argue about Edward endangering the rest of the family."

Alice leaned against me with a light, glittering laugh. "It must be getting pretty bad when you're excited about driving something with a roof."

Rosalie frowned and sped up a fraction, forcing the wheels against the pavement at speeds the poor road was clearly not meant to handle. "That's exactly my problem with this speck of a town. If only L. A. weren't so ridiculously _tan._ I could drive all the convertibles I wished without the humans so much as batting an eyelash. The sun really is so…inconvenient."

"I thought you liked Forks," I said, my newfound good mood making me a little more social than usual.

"Of course I like it. Who wouldn't? We get to be almost _normal _here. But it wouldn't hurt them to get a decent mall and a couple of European auto dealerships. I was going to ask you all to pick up a Ferrari as my next wedding gift, you know, but Carlisle is thinking about limiting the number of cars we buy overseas."

I shrugged and wrapped an arm around Alice. The whole thing made very little difference to me. Still, it had been awhile since I had tried to take interest in Rosalie's life. "You're planning another wedding?"

"Not quite yet," Rosalie said as she rolled the Volvo into the school parking lot. For once, she was aglow with smug anticipation. Happiness really did suit her, surprisingly enough. "But I was thinking it might be nice to tie the knot after graduation."

"I've had the gown saved for ages," Alice promised, twirling out of the car with a pleased smile. The subject of fashion always bolstered her mood an extra few notches. "When do you plan to tell Emmett?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You haven't told him yet?"

Rosalie laughed. "We're talking about _Emmett_, Jasper. If I give him about a month's notice, he'll be just fine."

I shook my head as she strolled off to class with a vague flip of her hair. While Rosalie most certainly had a point—Emmett was as likely to object to another wedding as he was eager to be involved in the planning of one—there was something vaguely disconcerting about her self-assured declarations. I was starting to form the distinct impression that the last thing Rosalie needed was to get her way.

Alice caught my frown and laughed, blowing me a quick kiss before dancing after her sister and clearly pleased that we were all in a civil mood.

"Have a good day," I called, keeping my voice low.

"You too. And make sure you're nice to Cassie!"

Her joking jibe stabbed me deeper than it should. Cassie. She had totally slipped my mind.

Again.

With a low curse, I followed the rest of my family into the building and made my way to class. A deep, totally irrational part of me wanted to blame Edward for this, too. After all, if had not tested my patience with his opposition to my friends' imminent presence, I might have asked to come along. Then I would never have worried Alice, and, more importantly, could have spent my Friday enjoying a good meal miles away from any unnecessary high school drama.

Yes, I wanted to blame Edward very, very much.

"Is everything all right at home, Jasper?"

I looked up from my notes in an instant, surprised to hear the teacher address me now that role call was over. Most of the teachers at Forks High School had long since resolved themselves to the fact that we likely knew more about their subject than they did. The only time any of us were required to participate was if there was a substitute teacher or the rest of the class was at a total loss.

But, not ten minutes into my second period class, Miss Williams was gazing at me with an awkward, slightly exaggerated frown, clearly concerned about…something. I tensed. Could Bella have finally told someone about Edward?

"I…beg your pardon, ma'am?" I asked, my pause passing too quickly for the humans to notice.

Miss Williams was happy to elaborate. "My little one has been in bed the past couple of days with the flu, and I noticed your brother was missing. Is Emmett feeling well?"

The words "Emmett" and "flu" were utterly incompatible, but, to my credit, I did not smile at the woman's unnecessary concern. The rest of the class went silent at the question, apparently as curious about this as they were anything else that concerned the strange family the handsome Dr. Cullen had taken under his wing.

"I don't think you need to worry, Miss Williams," I said, making my voice a touch quieter than usual. "Both of my brothers are suffering from a…stomach virus at the moment, but Car—ah, my…father—says they should be fit as a fiddle in no time at all."

"Well then, I hope they _both_ get better. Remind me to give you an extra copy of today's work before you leave, alright?"

"Yes, ma'am," I murmured, staring down at my notes again. Unfortunately, her unexpected question made it difficult to simply drift off in thought, and the rest of the class's murmurings caught my attention.

"A stomach virus? Yeah, right. The dude's ripped like a tank, and his dad's a _doctor._" I heard one of my classmates whisper to the student behind him. "No way he's really out sick. Probably off to Seattle to score. The Cullens let their kids leave for nothing."

"No way, man. I hear he's hooked up with Jasper's twin. What in Seattle is better than_ that_?"

"I hear you, Derek," a boy sitting beside me agreed in a low whisper. "I don't know what orphanage Dr. Cullen's using to shop for kids, but he's got great taste. Rosalie, man. Just…_damn_."

"Watch it," the other boy, Derek, warned in a hiss. "Her brother's right there, you know."

"Whatever," his friend scoffed. "He won't do anything. 'Sides, from what I hear, Jasper's all hot for the other girl, Alice. You know, the weird one…"

I gritted my teeth, but kept staring down at notebook. All I wanted was to lose myself in my work...to silence their pointless babble.

"If you ask _me_, they're _all _weird," a girl sitting close to Derek whispered, looking up from her notes with a prudish snicker.

"Well, yeah," the boy nearest to me said. "But the rest of the Cullens are more…I don't know…intimidating. Like they'll bite your head off if you get too close or something. But the other girl...I hear she, like, trances-out randomly. That junior Brian took to prom last year, y'know, Sarah Belmont, said she randomly got all…_spacey_ in the middle of her English lecture and was about to get taken to the nurse when she randomly came out of it, acting like nothing ever happened. And she's already so...freakishly tiny and bouncy, y'know?"

Derek snickered. "Well, Jasper's freakishly quiet and sort of scary-looking. Maybe it's a fetish. Maybe he just likes little—"

And now the idiocy had gone on far enough.

I turned to look at them, a careful smile on my face. "I know this might be a surprise for a few of you, but being 'freakish' doesn't quite make you deaf," I murmured, making my voice just loud enough to silence the chatter around me. My tone was on the verge of a growl. "Now, would any of you like to make these remarks about my family to my face? No…?"

I locked eyes with each of the gossipers, their fear and nervousness perforating the air. As expected, no one said a word, though I watched as one of the boy's tried for a gasping swallow, my eyes falling to his jugular. For the briefest of seconds, I could see absolutely no reason to refrain from killing him right where he sat. But the violent thought passed and I regained control, even managed a wry smile as my eyes returned to the latest speaker.

"I see. Well then, maybe you all could do me a favor and keep your mouths shut for the rest of the day about whatever 'fetishes' or 'oddities' you expect my family of having. I'm sorry to say my patience is wearing a little thin."

"Is there something else you feel a need to share right now, Jasper?" Miss Williams asked, pausing in her discourse to glare at me.

"No, ma'am," I said, my eyes scanning the ashen faces surrounding me once more before turning back to my notebook. "I don't have anything more to say."

I wanted to drain each and every one of them of their blood. They could not understand how fortunate they were that we Cullens were so "freakish." If we acted like normal vampires, their organs would be littered across the room. I was so lost in my own imaginings that I unthinkingly clenched my hands into fists, splintering my pen in the process. The red ink stained my fingers and spotted my paper, causing dark crimson splotches to stain through my notes. I stared at the color, allowing it to penetrate every thought.

_Is this what I want? To stain my life with more of this detestable color…?_ I wondered, my eyes intent. All I could think of was that miserable darkness that haunted me before I resolved to give up humans. Their pain had been too much for my psyche to bear. _No. I will not allow these petulant children to tempt me. Their flavor is hardly compensation._

With a determined grimace, I forced back my lust for vengeance and made it through class without incident. Alice was waiting for me outside of her classroom, her very hair follicles charged with a special delight. My anger disappeared in a flash. Let the humans say what they will. So long as I could bask in Alice's smile for even a moment, I would endure.

"What are you smiling about?" my love asked as we walked toward her next class.

"Your happiness. Isn't that enough?"

She gave the same tinkling laugh that always followed such declarations. "Your smiles always seem to have something to do with me. Aren't you ever selfish, Jazz?"

"Of course I am. Perhaps more than you know."

Alice rolled her eyes and twirled into class with a quick squeeze of my fingers. "'Selfish' and 'over-protective' are not the same thing."

I watched her go and reluctantly made my way to my next class. She was wrong. My "over-protectiveness" stemmed completely from my selfishness. I was incapable of finding happiness without Alice safely integrated into the makeup of my existence. And I would do _anything_ to maintain my happiness, be it slaughtering the entirety of this hellish human warehouse, tearing off my own limbs, or even betraying the rest of the Cullens…

It was all selfishness, and I took some sort of twisted pride from its existence.

And yet, it was not my selfishness that I ruminated over while biding my time until lunch. It was what those idiotic little cretins had said in Miss Williams' class… _"That junior Brian took to prom last year, y'know, Sarah Belmont, said she randomly got all…spacey in the middle of her English lecture and was about to get taken to the nurse when she randomly came out of it, like nothing ever happened."_ The words thundered in my head like a curse. Alice had never mentioned that she was having visions so vivid that they were disrupting class. If that was the case, then it was my responsibility to ensure she wasn't alone.

I nearly broke another pen as I realized how helpless I was to assist her. The only person who could sit in on Alice's classes or even monitor her from afar was Edward, and I was in no mood to ask for his assistance. Besides, I had never been very good at trusting others with anything truly dear to me...

I was silent as I escorted Alice to the lunchroom, much to her agitation. We had arrived a little earlier than usual, and the cafeteria was nearly deserted.

"Honestly, Jazz! I was all set to be happy for the both of us, and the next thing I know you're back in another one of your moods…"

"I'm not in a mood," I murmured as I pulled out her chair for her.

Alice did not look at all convinced. "Then what's wrong?"

Our dark eyes locked, and I could not quite keep the hardness from my voice. "Why didn't you tell me that your visions were starting to interrupt class?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Is _that_ what this is about? It's hardly a frequent occurrence. Edward—"

"We're not talking about Edward right now," I interrupted, doing my best to keep my voice soft. "How many times has it happened?"

"Where someone else noticed?" Alice's eyes moved down to the lunch table. "Once this quarter. Four times if you're counting the entire year. Only one was longer than a few seconds."

I groaned. "And you didn't say a word to me?"

"No, I didn't, and for exactly this reason!" she replied earnestly, gathering up my hands beneath the table. "My visions don't hurt me, and I don't mind what anyone else thinks. It's just one of the harmless side effects of being an exceptionally 'gifted' vampire. I'd say it's tons better than eating people, wouldn't you, Jazz?"

"I wouldn't use the phrase 'tons.'"

Alice's small red tongue chastised me for the poorly formed rebuttal, but her eyes danced. She knew that I could offer no real objection.

"Promise me that you'll at least draw Edward's attention to it next time," I pleaded, effectively erasing any trace of amusement from my love's face. "I'm sure he can make time for you in between stalking the girl."

"Did Alice have another vision about the human?" Rosalie asked, drawing our attention to her presence. My glance paused at the tray of food she placed on our table. In the midst of worrying about Alice, our silly props had completely slipped my mind. She noticed my stare and gave me a would-be innocent smile, "Would you like a bite, Jasper? I hear _everyone_ likes pizza."

I grimaced and turned my attention back to Alice. "Promise me."

"Fine," she said with a sigh, crossing her arms over her chest in a gesture of rebellion. "Is there anything else completely unnecessary we should do to satisfy your overprotective impulses? Are you sure you don't want to lock me in our room and staple bubble wrap to the walls?"

"Don't give him any ideas," Rosalie warned, admiring her nails with a distracted frown. "You know he would if you couldn't smash your way out."

"She'd pick the lock long before resorting to demolition," I muttered, much to Alice's undisguised satisfaction.

"True enough. But _I'm_ not the issue right now," she said, leaning forward and speaking in a conspiratorial whisper. Her eyes darted to the lunchroom entrance, and Rosalie and I both instinctively leaned forward.

Bella walked into the room barely seconds later, her eyes quickly darting to our table and then scanning the rest of the room.

Alice gave a quick, sympathetic tremor at the girl's discouraged expression, but otherwise made no mention of her. "You two must know almost as well as I do that Edward is planning to spend every second he can of Peter and Charlotte's visit with Bella. His plan isn't fully formed yet, but I don't _think_ she'll notice him. It's just, with the sunlight…"

Rosalie scowled. "That's just perfect. So now that Edward's not going to hunt the human, he's decided to _glitter_ at her instead? Hasn't she gotten enough clues to our abnormality yet?"

Alice looked defensive. "Her name is _Bella_, and Edward wouldn't do that. He's doing his best not to scare her, and he's generally too careful to let it happen by accident. I was just wondering if one of us should watch him strictly as a precaution, that's all…"

"I'm not wasting Peter's visit stalking Edward," I said between clenched teeth.

"Does that mean you trust him following her around in the sunlight?" Rosalie demanded, her flawless features contorted into a frown.

"If it bothers Peter and Charlotte otherwise, I do," I hissed, my voice as icy as the cloud of emotion that surrounded my blond sister.

Alice graced me with a smile that threatened to stretch from ear to ear. "You mean it," she said, her voice dancing with extra warmth. It was not a question.

I was surprised to find that she was right. However rash my words might have been, I did trust Edward to stay out of sight. The girl had interested my brother enough for him to attempt friendship with a human. He would not ruin it by revealing the sort of monster he truly was until it was either too dangerous to be around her or too late to stop himself. In any event, it was highly unlikely Alice would be so cheerful if either occurrence seemed imminent.

Rosalie seemed to be thinking about something along the same lines. "That girl has looked after here at least eight times already. I'm surprised Alice hasn't bounced over to spend time with her new best friend yet."

"Don't remind me," Alice pouted, resting her head on her hands. "I would, but no matter how I plan it Edward always finds out…"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I still don't get what everyone sees in her…"

Despite her surly tone, her mood was surprisingly positive. I cocked an eyebrow, but remained silent. Rosalie's sporadic moods were none of my concern.

Alice just played with her fingers, carefully keeping her eyes down to avoid looking at the subject of our conversation. "It's easy to love Bella if you'd just give her a chance. She's just…crystal clear. She might even be able to teach you a thing or two about not judging people based on preconceived notions."

Rosalie scowled at the obvious jibe. "Whatever. She could be purer than the pope for all the good it will do her. You know what happens to _any_ human that gets too close to monsters."

"The chance of her being devoured is exactly the same as her becoming a Cullen," Alice said quietly, her dark eyes flashing up to meet Rosalie's.

"Maybe right now, but that won't last. Edward is only attracted to her because he can't read her thoughts. Once the novelty starts to wear off, she'll be no different from any other human." Rosalie's emotions were a swirl of anger and dark satisfaction. "She will _never_ be one of us!"

"Why do you despise her so much?" I asked, tired of her predictably short-tempered reactions to the girl's future.

"I don't _despise_ her," she said with a spiteful glance at the girl. "It's just even someone who's threatened our existence can't be stupid enough to throw their life away—Hell, their _happiness _away—like some stray piece of trash…" Her hands went instinctively to her stomach, and I winced away from the sudden waves of devastation that engulfed her.

"Rose…" Alice said gently, forgetting their feud over Bella.

"Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like?" she asked, all the venom drained from her voice. "Don't you ever wish you never had to say your husband was anything but your husband? That you and Jasper could actually grow _old_ together and raise children…? Haven't you ever seen a mother taking her son shopping and thought about how beautiful your own baby boy would be?"

Alice pulled her hand away from mine and gently reached out to her sister. Rosalie just shook her head and jerked to her feet, moving away from Alice's touch almost as though she were frightened of it.

"I'm fine," she said quickly, though her pain still throbbed against my brain. "I…I'm heading to class early."

We watched her go in silence, unsure what to do in the wake of Rosalie's sudden display of vulnerability.

"Do you think she truly cares about the girl's well-being?" I asked when she was well out of earshot.

"Well, I didn't see her reaction to either of Bella's potential futures, but she definitely didn't intervene when you had decided to kill her after the accident." Alice shrugged her small shoulders with a hopeless sigh. "But I think she really does feel that Bella would be worse off if Edward changed her rather than killed her."

I snuck a glance at Bella, her every feature despondent, and wondered at Alice's visions. If I were to simply reason the affair out, Rosalie's theory seemed the most likely. The only thing that separated Bella from the rest of her species was the strange silence of her mind. Once Edward realized her thoughts were no different from any other teenager, his interest would die and, in all likelihood, so would the girl. The only explanation I could find for Edward claiming the girl as his life partner was simply if his curiosity took priority over her taste.

Her taste…

I ran my tongue along my lips, moistening them with a fresh flow of venom. My weakness was all too evident, and I would have to subdue it quickly. "Will it be alright to go for a hunt directly from school?"

"We'll have to put the car in the garage or the police may come to investigate, but it should be fine," Alice assured me.

I nodded, and Alice hopped to my side of the table a split second before the bell rang.

"Walk me to class?" she asked with a smile, offering her small hand.

I bowed to kiss it too quickly for the humans to notice, and led the way out of the lunchroom. "It is always an honor, ma'am."

It was hard to exchange Alice's smiling face for the uncomfortable atmosphere of my Physics class. Rosalie was still drowning the room in icy depression, and Cassie, her heartbeat racing at my presence, immediately pulled her desk next to mine.

"I thought you weren't coming today," she murmured as the last few students shuffled into class. There was a tiny tinge of gratitude amidst her usual coldness.

"Emmett and Edward are having stomach trouble, and I thought it best to give them time to recover," I explained. I was not as practiced at lying to humans as the others, but having a consistent story always seemed to make matters easier.

"Yeah, I think I heard something about that already. Sorry to hear that you missed your trip," Cassie replied in a whisper, turning away from me as Mr. Fowler began his opening lecture.

_I am too._

Not that I would say the words. Not that I would speak at all if I could avoid it. No, my goal was simply to do as Alice instructed—to "be nice" to the girl—and I would do what I could to avoid reducing her to tears again. Other than that, I would breath as little as possible.

Rosalie did not so much as look at me for the entire length of the class. Her eyes stayed glued to her desk, and her emotions thundered between desolation and irritation. I attempted to subdue her erratic psyche, but my efforts were stymied by my preoccupation with Cassie.

She broke out of her dark reverie just long enough to present her and Emmett's project to the rest of the class. From what I could gather from her lackluster responses, they had decided to do their project on roller coasters. The class murmured their appreciation as she presented a toothpick model of a simple wooden track and explained the various ways friction and momentum played a part in a rider's experience.

I was not surprised by her knowledgeable explanation. While Rosalie had never been on a rollercoaster herself—most lacked the speed to be truly thrilling to an immortal—she was an incredible mechanic and engineer. It was hard to find something with wheels that she could not understand.

Cassie sighed as Rosalie sat down. "I know she's your sister and all, but couldn't she have gone last? Fowler always grades the rest of us based on the best one he's seen so far…"

"Hm," I managed, unable to open my mouth. She had started to play with her hair, and even the imagined scent was tempting.

"Next is…let me see. Jeez, it's cold in here. Just a minute." Mr. Fowler looked away from his clipboard and moved to fiddle with the heater. "Ah, that should make things more comfortable. Now let me see," he murmured as he consulted his chart once more. "That was Cullen and Hale so next we have…ah. Jasper and Cassie, you're up."

I wanted to slam Mr. Fowler into the wall and choke him with his own intestines. While I understood that my own body temperature was significantly lower than a human's, I could not fathom how to make it from the back of the class, past all my classmates, and suffer the extra punishment of having the heater continually blow their succulent scent into my nostrils without completely losing my mind.

I sat at my desk and looked hopelessly to Rosalie. She did not seem to notice.

Cassie stood up and looked at me to follow. I slowly rose from my seat and took a quick breath of air in the process. It was a horrible mistake.

No sooner had I opened my mouth when Cassie tossed her hair, the scent filling my nose and mouth and completely disarming my senses. Without the ability to stop myself, the entire class's aroma—even Mr. Fowler's—hit me with crippling force. My muscles tensed for the attack, my tendons showed clearly through my alabaster skin, my lips curled back and venom flew from my mouth like spittle. Before I could make a move, something smashed into the back of my legs and threw off my balance just enough to drop me to one knee. With my teeth bared I looked up to see Rosalie standing over me, her condescension only just seconded by her annoyance. In one smooth move she had me sprawled on the ground and carefully obscured from easy view.

The whole affair was over in less than a second.

"What happened? Is he all right?" Cassie exclaimed, making an attempt to move towards me.

Rosalie quickly moved her arm to cut her off. "You fool," she said, her eyes on me but her voice carrying to the rest of the class. "Sorry, Mr. Fowler, but can I take him out to get some air? Jasper has severely low blood sugar, and he was in such a hurry to get to school he forgot to take his insulin."

"S-Sure," my teacher said, clearly shaken by my "episode." "I wasn't aware Jasper had any medical issues. Do you need any help moving him?"

"I'm sure he'll be fine. It runs in the family," she said, pretending to lift me up while restraining me with her arm. "We'll just run by the car and pick up his insulin pen."

Without waiting for a response, Rosalie led me out of the room, loosening her hold on me as we walked into the slightly damp air of the parking lot.

"Are you in your right mind yet, brother dearest?" she sneered. "I guess it was too much to assume you were smart enough to hunt _before_ you freaked out in front of the entire class, huh?"

"I apologize," I said quietly, wiping the venom from my chin and smoothing my disheveled clothes. My voice was much smoother than I expected. In truth, it was an absolute miracle that Rosalie had removed me from the room without incident. Her swift kick had startled me just enough to put me back in my right mind, but I could not help scanning the parking lot for any straggling humans.

Rosalie noticed and rolled her eyes. "I swear, if it's not Edward losing his mind, it's you. Just relax, already. I wouldn't have brought you out here if I could smell any witnesses. Now get in the car. You've gotten Alice all worked up."

"Alice…?" I asked, her name pulling my sanity on more solid ground.

The word was hardly out of my mouth when she was there beside me, her hands pressed against the side of my face. Her lovely scent overpowered the lingering aroma that filled my nose, and her concern replaced my wild hunger with shame.

"Thank you, Rosalie," she whispered. I was so lost in my own self-pity that I had hardly noticed my sister climb into the driver's seat.

"Save it. It wasn't like I really had a choice."

"Alice, I…"

She moved her thumb over my lips. "You didn't try to fight Rose off. You didn't attack anyone. We don't have to tell the others about this."

"Don't have to tell the others?" Rosalie repeated, disbelief clouding every word. "Jasper nearly _drained_ our Physics class!"

"Rosalie..." Alice warned, her fingers falling from my face.

"Yeah, whatever. I won't tell. But you _better_ find me a Ferrari. I mean it."

"Thank you," I murmured, sliding toward the door. "I'm feeling much better now. We should go back."

Rosalie gave a dry chuckle and threw the car into drive. "I don't think so. We're taking you hunting."

"No, it's not right for all of us to leave at once. You both should stay. I'll go by myself."

"Don't worry about it. We can just get Carlisle to tell the school he pulled us all out again."

"Alice…."

"I don't understand, Jazz," Alice said, her eyes wide and her wind chime voice lathered with innocence. "Don't you want to hunt with me?"

"Of course I do, but…"

"But?" she repeated sweetly, her pinky tracing swirling patterns along the back of my hands.

I pulled my hands away from her and tried to maintain hold of my reason. As irresistible as the thought was, I could not let Alice make a puppet of me. Not when I had nearly revealed myself to an entire room of humans. "We can't just pretend this never happened, Alice. I'm not cut out for this lifestyle. I will respect your wishes and stick to the Cullen's diet, but I can't play at normalcy anymore."

Rosalie groaned. "Will just relax already? Believe me, Jasper, I'd be the first one to tell you if you couldn't handle being in public. At least you didn't race through a crowded parking lot lifting up cars like some man-eating superhero. You just need to hunt more regularly. Let go of all the melodrama."

I stared at the back of Rosalie's head in utter disbelief. She was the last person I had expected to defend me in the wake of the monster I had been reduced to. She noticed my stare in the rearview mirror and rolled her eyes.

"Don't get too excited. I'm still thinking of my own interests. You should have seen the house when you were out moping. It was almost enough for me to miss Edward." While her tone was sarcastic, her emotional wavelength was unusually sympathetic.

I looked to Alice for confirmation, and she gave me a confident little wink. Still, I hesitated. It was too much to trust myself. Especially after I had already been proven so weak.

Slowly, I shook my head. "I can't. I cannot tempt fate again."

Alice frowned as the car rolled to a stop and I quickly sprung out to open her car door. "Well, you have a few days to decide before any of us go back. At least wait until after Peter and Charlotte's visit."

"Very well," I said as I took off my shoes and polo. "But you know as well as I do that they won't take your side in the matter."

Alice just smiled and whisked my discarded things upstairs.

"Wow, I knew you'd be happy to hunt, but not _that _happy. What's with the striptease?" Rosalie asked, distractedly running her hand along the glossy surface of her red convertible. Her face was controlled, but her eyes wandered intently along the scars that littered my chest.

"Alice bought them for me," I explained. While I was not among the fashion forward members of the family, I knew better than to take white shoes and any piece of fabric that said "dry clean only" out into the elements. No matter how clean a hunter I was, I would not risk soiling a gift from Alice. "Does it bother you?"

She laughed at the question, but the air carried no amusement. "Hardly. It just made me wonder about your friends. Last time they were here, they didn't look like they'd been…bitten as much as you."

"That's right. Peter became a member of Maria's group long after me, and Charlotte was barely in the South for a year. The only immortals I've seen with scars like mine are dead, most of them by my hand."

Rosalie could not quite hide the fear that emanated from her as she continued to look at me. After a pause, she opened her mouth as though to say something, but immediately closed it again as Alice and Esme joined us in the garage.

"I heard there was an accident in class today. Are you all right, dear?" Esme asked immediately, gently putting a hand on cheek.

An "accident." That was a pretty way to put it. Esme would probably have felt it inappropriate to begin the conversation with "I heard you nearly murdered an entire room of defenseless children today." That just wasn't done in the Cullen household. Particularly since Edward and myself were so obviously _sensitive._

I fought back a grimace as I assured her of my health and general sanity.

Esme gave a gentle, maternal smile and graciously granted me some space. "Well, I don't mean to put any more on your plate, Jasper, but I just noticed that our passports are out of date again. Whenever you have a moment, do you think you might—"

"I will take care of it as soon as Peter and Charlotte are out of town," I promised.

"Yes, of course. I'll put the papers in your study."

"Well, now that that's settled, shall we go?" Alice asked, hopping over to me with an eager grin.

I nodded and, with a brief goodbye to Esme, followed the girls out the garage door and into the woods.

Though we rarely spoke, hunting with Alice was always a very different experience. She would "see" our encounter and chase them toward me, while I would adjust my position to always be within easy distance to the beasts' scent. It was as seamless as dancing an exceptionally macabre waltz.

In this case, she led a herd of deer—three young bucks and four doe—toward my eager teeth. I fought the extinct to take them immediately, waiting until Alice's lithe step joined their hoof beats and, with the subtleness of a kiss, took down her pick of the group.

Then, the massacre began. I motioned to Rosalie, and, in moments, four of the group was left writhing on the ground. I drank wildly, pulling two bucks from the group and feasting with ravenous hunger. The taste was less than satisfactory—while no animal could ever hope to compare to the delicious flavor of human blood, herbivores were by far the worst—but just the feeling of the warm liquid against my tongue was pure ecstasy.

I glutted myself, drinking until the thirst was barely an uncomfortable itch in my throat. Rosalie, who had easily satisfied herself with one small doe, watched me with a disgusted shake of her head.

"And this is what the girl could have instead of death?" she murmured, cleaning the gore from her nails with a disgusted frown. "An eternity of ripping Bambi's throat out…"

I finished off my beast and wiped the blood from my chin. I was glad that I had left Alice's clothes behind. My hunger had made me considerably sloppier than usual. Rosalie just rolled her eyes and ran back toward the house, clearly happy to escape the pile of carcasses I had accumulated.

Shameful as it might be, I was glad to see her go. While Rosalie and I might look the most alike of the group, her vanity and stubbornness were endlessly irritating. Still, there was no denying that she was the only reason I had escaped the class without bloodshed…I owed her for that.

With the hunt complete, I gathered what few dry leaves and branches I could find and started a decent sized fire. Alice waited with me, breaking the animals up and throwing their remains into the flames.

"You want to talk, Jazz?" she asked, watching as the last of the beasts was burned away.

"I was thinking about what Rosalie said this afternoon. About…having children." I was not sure how to continue the thought. It seemed pointless to talk about impossibilities. And yet… "Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever wanted to grow old and raise a family?"

"I've never thought about it before," Alice admitted. "I don't remember what I was like as a human, you know, so I guess I just don't know _how_ to want it. It never felt like an option."

I reached for her hands, keeping some distance to avoid staining her with the grime that still covered my chin and dripped along my chest. She noticed the effort and quickly nuzzled into me, laughing as she cleaned the muck from my face.

"What about you?" she asked.

I considered the question. The human Jasper Whitlock was so different from who I was now that he almost seemed a stranger to me. Yet even then, children had never been a concern. I had wanted a wife, certainly, but what little I knew of adulthood was tinged with war. It was no place to raise a family.

"No," I said at last. "I've never known that particular desire."

"Never?" said Alice, her tone teasing now. "You never wanted a little house on the prairie with your wife in one hand and Jazzy Junior in the other?"

"Jazzy Junior?" I repeated with a smile. "No self-respecting Southern woman would do that to her son."

"Well, maybe she's from the North then."

"Or Mars," I laughed. "No, I think I prefer immortality to children."

"Oh, really? And why is that?"

"Alice," I said seriously, forcing her golden eyes to meet my own. "I have you. How could I ever desire anything else?"

"You paid a lot for the opportunity," she said quietly, tracing my scars with her fingers.

"I would pay it again and again, a hundred times over."

"Thank you, Jazz," Alice whispered, kissing my nose before spinning away from me. "But we should go. I have to get the house ready for our guests."

I caught her fingers before she could escape me. "Not yet."

"Jasper," she said with a frown. "Do you realize how close they are?"

"Quite close, I'd imagine," I answered, closing the space between us.

Alice sighed, "If we do this, there's no way I'll be able to get all the streamers hung in time."

"They don't need them," I assured her, resting my chin in her hair.

Alice giggled and shook her head. "Okay, Jazz. I admit it. You're right."

"About what?" I asked, closing my eyes and taking in her scent.

"You _are_ selfish."

I laughed and took another deep breath, enjoying the soft cloud of contentment that encircled the pair of us. "More than you know."


	11. Visitors

_Author's Note:_ Gah! My longest chapter thus far… Hopefully at least most of it is interesting. (Fingers crossed.)

Back to business, I am playing with the idea of dedicating each additional chapter to one of my reviewers, and would really like to see where that takes me. While rameau's patience and assistance is absolutely superhuman, I thought I might add Annoret to the list of recognized authors/all around wonderful people. Thank you.

* * *

**CHAPTER 11: VISITORS**

"Here they come!" Alice exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of her feet with a pleased clap of her hands. "Is everyone in position?"

I smiled at her exuberance and moved to stand at the door beside her.

Esme and Carlisle were not far behind, and, after a sharp glare from Alice, Rosalie and Emmett disentangled themselves from one another and followed suit.

"Charlotte is going to love the house," Alice whispered, threatening to explode with self-satisfaction.

"See?" I responded, bowing my head to put my lips to her ear. "You had time to put up the streamers after all."

Alice poked me with her elbow and refused to respond.

She had put the entire house to work blowing balloons, hanging flowers and streamers, fashioning signs, scrubbing the house and windows to a mirror sheen, and generally forbidding Emmett to leave his room. The only thing we failed to do was string lights along the trees bordering the driveway, a fact that Alice was quick to blame on our antics in the forest. Had she not received Esme's frequent compliments on the house's splendor and desperately needed the extra hands, I would likely have been locked up with Emmett.

Still, neither Peter nor Charlotte seemed to feel anything was missing when they stepped onto our porch and were immediately engulfed in Alice's affectionate embrace.

"Charlotte!" she exclaimed, giving my friend an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek. "Peter! We've been waiting for you!"

Peter got over the shock more quickly of the two. With a look at the smiling faces awaiting their entrance, he gave a broad grin to Alice and immediately clasped my hand in his. "Hah! Forgive us for thinking we might surprise you with our company. It's been a long time, Jasper."

"Too long," I agreed, smiling at my old companion. "It's good to see the both of you."

"And it's wonderful to see _all_ of you," Charlotte said meaningfully, returning Alice's kiss and moving to greet the rest of the family. "The house looks beautiful!"

"Thank you," Esme and Alice said at once, much to one other's amusement.

Charlotte stopped cooing over the decorations long enough to finish greeting the circle of Cullens and find her way to me.

"Jasper," she said warmly, grabbing my hands nearly exactly the way Peter had. She was small—almost as tiny as Alice—and she nearly rose to her tiptoes while studying my golden eyes with her vibrant burgundy pair.

"I haven't been cheating," I said with a dry smile, answering the wave of curiosity that lingered about her.

"No, no," Charlotte said quickly, her intrigue quickly giving way to embarrassment. "I suppose it's just because I've never seen the rest of your coven on our traditional diet, but that color always seems so…_unusual_ on your face."

"Jasper has adapted remarkably well to the _family's_ diet," Carlisle said gently, placing a hand on my shoulder. "We are all very proud of him."

"I don't doubt it. Jasper has always been remarkably tenacious," Peter said, smiling at the both of us and moving to join his wife. "But it appears a member of your charming household is missing."

I fought down a grimace at the uncomfortable atmosphere that surrounded the family as Peter brought Edward's absence to our attention. Emmett in particular was a distinctive combination of amused and exasperated. From the way he described Edward's race back to Forks, it was no wonder. Edward had briefly assured Carlisle and Esme of his arrival, grabbed a small can of oil from the garage, and, without so much as glancing at the decorations Alice had instructed us to litter around the house, immediately disappeared again.

I wondered what the girl would think if she knew that her new "friend" stalked her in the dark. It was difficult to keep my disgust from tainting the others. When I saw him look to the girl's window before, I had assumed he had climbed a tree and watched her from afar, as I had. As impossible as it was to imagine, the oil can suggested otherwise…

"Edward has made a human friend," Esme supplied, threatening to swallow me in a cloud of absolute rapture. "I'm afraid he's gotten quite protective of her."

"He's lost his mind," I amended quietly, much to Esme's disapproval. "As much as I hate to limit you during your visit, it would probably be in your best interest to avoid town."

Both Charlotte and Peter raised their eyebrows at exactly the same moment. Had I not been so bitter about Edward's behavior, I would have smiled. Their differing heights aside, the fair couple complimented one another remarkably well. It still amazed me that I had not realized Peter's attachment sooner. It seemed only natural that they would find one other.

"Surely he doesn't think we would come to your permanent residence without feeding beforehand…?" Peter said, trying in vain to hide the insult he had taken from my request.

"It's a little more complicated than that," Alice began. "Actually, here he is…"

She had just closed her mouth when Edward flew past Peter and Charlotte, managing something like a cold nod, and disappeared upstairs.

"Wouldn't you like to greet our guests, Edward?" Carlisle called, making his voice just loud enough to carry to Edward's room.

"Pleasure," Edward said, distractedly moving his eyes to Peter and Charlotte as though he did not really see them. It was clear from the expressions on their faces that they did not need my gift to feel his coldness. "I'm afraid I don't intend to stay, Carlisle. I just needed to return something to the garage and find a change of clothes."

"Come on, man," Emmett said. "You can spend a couple minutes just saying—"

"We talked about his during the hunt, Emmett. I don't have time. She's on her way to school, and I'd like to make sure she arrives safely."

His eyes went to Peter and Charlotte at the word "safely." The sudden feeling of Alice's reassuring hand in mine was the only thing that kept me from ripping his lips from his face.

If Edward noticed the thought, or the particularly profane series of words that kept springing to mind, he made no mention of it.

Esme's forehead furrowed with dejection, and whatever she was thinking seemed to be enough to make Edward pause on his way out the door.

"I'll do what I can to stop by every now and again," he assured her.

Without another look at the rest of us, he brushed past my friends and skirted along the shadows and out of sight.

Unlike her mate, Charlotte was more baffled than angry. "Did something happen? I never thought Edward was capable of being so…so…"

"So much of an ass," Peter supplied, glaring after Edward. He held Charlotte closer to him, clearly angrier for her than himself. "Though I'm sorry to say so in the presence of his family…"

Emmett sighed, "You gotta excuse Edward for us, Peter. This human's kinda got him spazzing out on us a little. It's actually sorta funny. Normally it's Rose we have to apologize fo—_Ow!_" My brother furiously massaged his scalp, cowering away from his wife with a grimace. "Dammit, Rose! Did you have to dig your nails into my _head?_ I was telling the truth!"

"In case you didn't get the hint, dear," Rosalie said, her voice dangerously sweet, "Now would be a good time for you to be_ quiet._"

"Rosalie…" Carlisle and Esme warned in unison.

"Yeah, gimme a break, Rose! I'm just trying to tell 'em about Edward. It's not my fault he's getting obsessed with the girl. Who knew _Edward_ was even capable of lo—"

"That's enough," I interrupted, my voice hard. It was enough for Peter and Charlotte to know that we were blending with the humans; they did not need to know that we were now _submitting_ to them. "I'm sorry your welcome wasn't as warm as you both deserve."

Apparently, the look on my face was enough to bring the discussion to a close, and the subject was promptly dropped as I welcomed my guests more completely inside.

While I was more than happy to grant my friends access to whatever they wished, I did not like the idea of them being in the house for Edward's "quick visits," whenever they might be. Thankfully, my estranged brother was practically a nonentity.

It was strange enough that he would want to spend the sunny days in school. Personally, I had never been more grateful for a break. My full stomach and the time away from my human façade made me feel more…_real. _I had become so caught up in the act that there were moments I could not discern whether I was working in my own interests or simply to better play some part.

Both of my guests made themselves comfortable in the living room, enjoying the family's polite curiosity as they reclined on the sofa.

"Where do you plan to go next?" Esme asked after expressing how happy they both seemed.

The air around Charlotte was steeped with subtle discomfort. Apparently, this was not a question she was especially eager to answer. "We were planning on making our way up to Canada, but I think Peter would like to take a detour to Seattle beforehand."

"What's in Seattle?" Emmett asked, gathering Rosalie into his lap and putting his head against her shoulder.

"Oh, just a few incidentals," Charlotte said, her eyes darting from my face to Peter's. The uncomfortable atmosphere grew more potent.

"Incidentals?" Emmett repeated, saying the word as though it was utterly foreign to him. "You mean clothes and stuff? We can get all that for you."

"That's very kind, but I don't think…"

Esme misinterpreted my friend's polite refusal as mere courtesy, and leaned forward to pat Charlotte's hand with her own. "There's no need to be so bashful. You're both welcome to anything you wish."

Both my friends hesitated and exchanged glances.

I sighed, eager to clear the air of any unpleasantness as quickly as possible. "I think what Charlotte is trying to say is that Seattle is likely the best place south of the Canadian border to find a steady food supply that won't be missed. There's a tempting homelessness problem in the area."

The room descended into a moment of awkward silence.

Carlisle was the first to recover. "Of course. Please forgive us for misunderstanding."

Peter waved away the apology. "There's no need for you to apologize when we were being so unnecessarily sensitive."

I gave a dry chuckle. "You would think we were humans ourselves, the way you skirted around the subject."

"Well, your family is certainly taken with them," Peter said delicately, his tactful smile hiding his anger from all but me.

"Only one of us," I corrected, locking eyes with Peter.

Alice gave me a playful shove from her place beside me. "_Two_ of us, actually. Remember?"

Peter watched the exchange and relaxed his voice into a more teasing tone. "Two of you? Have you made a human friend as well, Jasper?"

"Not yet," Alice answered, slipping me a little wink. "But he will eventually."

"Is that so?" Charlotte asked, giving a hesitant smile.

"Of course. _I _like her. Jazz will just have to learn to adjust," she said simply, shrugging her small shoulders and leaning more comfortably against me.

Peter gave his first genuine laugh of the visit. "It seems you have been just as thoroughly trained as I have, Jasper."

I rolled my eyes, but returned the smile. While I had never encountered another couple with the powerful emotional ties that locked me to Alice's side, there was some truth to Peter's words. His every movement seemed dedicated to Charlotte's comfort. It seemed we were both hopeless slaves of our mates' every whim.

"We are a family first and foremost," Carlisle said with a gentle smile. "A friend to one of us—human, vampire, or otherwise—will always be welcomed with open arms."

"Your kindness knows no limits, Carlisle," Peter said, a touch of admiration in his tone. "But don't you ever feel tempted to exchange your fascinating diet for a more conventional one? I understand that the blood of animals leaves the body a bit weak."

"Weak?" Emmett repeated, bristling at the innocent implication. "Look, I'll be the first to admit that the Cowardly Mountain Lion can't compare to Dorothy as far as taste, but like _hell_ are you telling me I can't take whatever scrawny-ass competition comes my way!"

"Emmett, please," Esme chided. "We have _guests._"

"Sorry, sorry," he said quickly. "I'm just saying that it doesn't matter if they're friend, foe, or the whole freakin' Volturi guard. I can take 'em."

"Watch what you say about the Volturi, Emmett," I murmured, my expression dark. "It's because of them that we are allowed to live as comfortably as we do. You should know as well as I that there is a reason the humans have yet to believe in vampires…"

"Relax, dude," Emmett drawled, wrapping his arm around Rosalie's waist. "I'm just making a point."

Peter seemed amused by Emmett's rash declaration. "I'm sorry if I offended you, but I'll admit you have me interested. Are you suggesting that your strength is enough to outweigh experience?"

Emmett flexed his free arm with a wicked smile. "Why? Do you want to put me to the test?"

"I might," my friend admitted, returning his smile and revealing his long white rack of teeth.

"Peter…" Charlotte warned with a sigh. "It's not a competition."

"Well, it could be," Peter said with an innocent shrug.

"What do you have in mind?" Emmett asked eagerly, threatening to throw Rosalie off his lap in his excitement. "Wrestling? I'm game!"

"I don't want you boys fighting," Esme said quickly, eyeing the two with a careful frown. "Especially not in the house."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Peter assured her. "Besides, I would much prefer to play a game with teams. It makes a much more eloquent show of strategy."

Peter quickly caught my eye and I gave a slow nod. "I would be willing to play a game."

"Well, considering we're free for the day, I think it's a good idea. We really haven't done anything together in quite some time. A little family recreation might do us some good," Carlisle said with an approving smile. "That is, if everyone else is willing."

"So long as everyone behaves themselves," Esme agreed, giving Emmett a warning glare that he naturally ignored.

"Rose…?" he asked slowly, inching his way further against Rosalie's elegant frame.

She flicked her hair into his face with an exaggerated sigh, "_Fine_."

"YES!" he crowed, quickly kissing the hollow below her ear. "And don't worry about a thing, babe. I'll let you be on my team."

"Then surely you'll join in, Charlotte," Peter begged playfully. "It won't do if Emmett gets to have his mate and I'm left wanting."

"Alright," she consented. "But only if Alice will, too. Jasper hasn't asked her yet."

"Forgive me," I said. With a stern frown I rose from our shared seat and swiftly fell to one knee. "What say you, Mrs. Whitlock? Would you honor me with your presence?"

"I _suppose_ I can make an appearance," Alice allowed with a swift, mischievous smile, bowing her head in assent.

"Oh _please,_" Emmett muttered, pretending to gag at our performance.

Rosalie rewarded him with a swift jerk of her elbow into his stomach, ignoring his curses as she looked to the rest of us. "Have we even decided what we're playing yet? Because I was thinking…"

"Football," Alice said immediately, her smile widening. "Excellent."

"Yeah!" Emmett bellowed, pumping his fist with a fierce grin.

"Sounds good," Peter agreed. "Shall we go?"

"Let's wait until this evening, just to be safe," Esme said, looking a little worried.

"Is there an area large enough to play in around here?" Charlotte asked.

"There's a place nearby. Rainier field," I explained. "It's too deep into the woods to have many visitors and there's more than enough room to keep things entertaining. I can show you right now, if you'd like."

"I'd love to get a lay of the land," Peter agreed eagerly.

"Is that really all right?" Charlotte asked.

"It should be," I assured her. "There's plenty of cover in the trees."

"Go ahead," Carlisle said with an encouraging smile. "You all deserve some time to chat away from so many extra ears."

I gave Carlisle a grateful nod. "Thank you, but are you sure Emmett's all right with us wandering the field without him?"

"Whatever," Emmett said with a confident laugh. "You wish I was worried. I'll stick around and see if I can recruit Edward."

Edward's name momentarily stripped me of my sense of humor. "Good luck with that," I managed, trying in vain to infuse some emotion into my voice.

I made my way to the door, escorted by Peter and Charlotte. Noticing that they were the only ones following me, I turned curiously to Alice.

"Would you like to come along?" I asked. "Or are you waiting for Edward, too?"

She just gave a slow shake of her head. "Go on without me. You three deserve a chance to talk."

I flashed to her side in an instant, studying her face intently. She stared back with her usual gorgeous smile, her eyes dancing at my reaction. She did not seem to be lost in any visions, at least not one that was particular pressing. I relaxed a fraction.

"They're your friends, too," I whispered, keeping my voice too low for the others to hear me.

She just smiled. "Not everything that's yours is mine, you know. Go. _Have fun_. We'll be there by eleven."

With one last long look at her face, I assented. "I'll be a phone call away," I promised.

"Nothing will happen."

"You misunderstand me," I said with a shake of my head, "I would never leave if I thought something would. I'm saying it for my sake, not yours."

She just rolled her eyes, though her smile deepened. "_Go",_ she mouthed.

With one last hungry look at her, I obeyed and ran from the sunlight and into the shadows. Each mile pressed against me with unusual force, the absence of her shadowy step reminding me of the growing distance between myself and my happiness.

She was right, I realized as I ran. I could not abandon school, even with my weakness. To willingly separate myself from her—for even the briefest second—was utter masochism.

My eyes widened and I stopped running as the crash of realization thundered around my skull.

"Is something wrong?" Peter asked, looking worried.

"That little imp…" I murmured, ignoring their concern. "She knew all the time."

"What…? What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," I murmured, resuming our run. "My apologies."

She had known all the time.

She had known that the only thing that could drag me back—willingly make me risk my pride, my self-control and the lives of the dozens of students I came in contact with on a daily basis—was her.

And she had granted me her absence simply to make me realize it.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Charlotte asked, picking up her pace to match my long stride.

"I'm fine. I just have my mind on Wednesday."

"Wednesday?"

I gave her a grim smile. "I have class."

---

My smile widened slightly, content to recline in the shadows as my two companions studied the wide, secluded expanse of land. While Charlotte would only walk around the perimeter, Peter ran from one side of the field to the other, pointing out potholes and praising the general smoothness of the terrain. I just listened, moving my fingers from the shadows and watching the gentle prisms of light shoot along the ground. It was peaceful, even as the birds sent panicked cries of our presence to their companions, and I was glad for the silence.

"It's perfect," Peter said finally, sprawling down beside me. "Do you think Emmett will let us choose teams?"

"I wouldn't worry," I said, kicking off my shoes and letting my toes dig into the cool grass. There was something about the heat of the earth against my skin that was especially relaxing. It very nearly made me feel alive.

Peter mistook my satisfied smirk for eagerness, and grinned back. "I just worry that we might lose you if we're not careful."

"Unlikely," I murmured. "Emmett will likely want Rosalie, Carlisle and…Edward."

"But that makes the numbers odd, doesn't it?" Charlotte asked, finishing up her own patrol and sinking into Peter's lap. "If we add Alice to our team, where does that put Esme?"

"She'll referee. Only…" I stopped, struggling to keep my erratic emotions from affecting the others.

"Only you don't think Edward will play," Peter said, finishing my thought with slightly less bitterness than I would have managed. "Be honest, Jasper. Does Edward have a problem with our presence here, or is he honestly that absorbed in the affairs of this…this human?"

I was not sure how to answer at first. I could not lie, obviously. It was exhausting enough to keep spinning all these fabrications for the humans. I would rather hurt them with the truth than stain our relationship with falsehood.

"I think the one stems from the other," I said at last. "And it's not just you two. He's throwing us all to the wolves as a result of his peculiar…affixation."

"And your elder, Carlisle… He approves of this behavior?"

"I'm honestly not sure how much Carlisle knows about Edward's behavior, but he certainly would not act on the problem unless the girl was hurt or talking."

"Isn't that a little…ineffective?" Charlotte asked. "It seems smarter to eradicate the problem before it gets out of hand. Surely you could just eliminate the girl—"

"That is not an option," I said swiftly, my muscles twitching with some awful emotion that swung from rage to utter hopelessness. "Alice…cares for her."

Peter raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "You mean it's true that she cares for the _human?_ Are you certain? The members of your new family appear to be remarkably loyal to one another. Isn't it possible that she is simply supporting Edward's newfound interest in humans?"

I smiled wryly. "Are you suggesting that my grasp on the emotions of others has grown soft over the years, Peter?"

"Not at all. I was just suggesting that her allegiance might not lie with the human so much as her brother."

"I wish," I muttered darkly, genuine longing coloring my tone. "But while Edward might be the catalyst of their relationship, her affinity for the girl is genuine. It grows more apparent with each passing day."

"But still…" Charlotte insisted after an awkward pause.

"I will not tamper with Alice's happiness," I said firmly, forcing back the snarl building in my throat. My self-control was fraying at the edges, and I could do nothing to hold it together. "Even at the risk of our exposure…"

Peter gave a sympathetic shake of his head. "And if she learns too much?"

_She already knows too much_. The thought forced itself on me instantly, wrapping each slimy syllable around every crevice of my brain. _She knows too much, and she will just learn more with time. All I can do is watch. Just watch and hate her for giving me yet another reason to despise myself. _

I gave myself to the poisonous thoughts, allowing it to rot my mood. My hatred was just another excuse to be ashamed of myself. Alice was going to love Bella as dearly as a sister. It was inexcusable to hate something Alice loved. _To feel hate for something that Alice holds dear… I'm much more of a monster than I thought._

"Jasper… ? Are you all right?" Charlotte asked, permeating concern from her every pore.

"Fine," I said shortly, forcing myself back into reality. I was allowing myself to get lost in the negative too easily. I knew that Peter was not really concerned with how much the girl knew—though I would not relish enlightening him on Edward's daring parking lot rescue—but what I would do when she spread her knowledge to the other humans. "If we can no longer live here as a result of her meddling"—_or Edward's meddling with her_, I mentally amended—"then I will eliminate her."

Charlotte grew quiet and Peter, noticing her response to the uncomfortable atmosphere, gave a light laugh. "Well, I'm sure Edward has the sense to keep you placid."

I smiled humorlessly, trying to imagine a world where Edward would respect _my _wishes. It simply did not exist. "Enough about Edward. I'm more interested in your travels. Don't tell me you've been back to the South."

"God no!" Peter exclaimed, shaking his head. Still, he settled in to share his adventures.

I listened with interest as he described his and Charlotte's journey across the country. They had avoided the South—with little wonder as to why—but had run into a few other nomads who had gruesome stories to tell. It appeared that the wars quietly continued, Texas slowly growing safer as the battles escalated in Mexico. The wars grew fiercer with every step one took south of the Rio Grande.

I felt a vague tinge of disgust as I imagined the ragged creatures ripping one another to shreds over petty vengeance and greed. "The poor fools," I murmured, barely aware that I was speaking aloud.

"The _untrained_ fools," Peter corrected gently. "What few of our kind we ran into from the area had either ran from combat or their leader had been stripped of their land in the first few fights. Had they been brought against someone with experience…"

"A _real_ monster, you mean?" I whispered, leaning more completely against the tree. "Someone like me?"

"Jasper…" Peter sighed. "You are far from a monster."

"Is that so?"

I straightened and pulled down the collar of my shirt, forcing my mouth into a wide grin. Even in the skewed reflection in my friends' burgundy eyes, my face was terrifying. A soulless smile ravaged by an infinitum of crescents that ripped their way around my jugular—a silent warning for even my own kind to keep their distance.

It was to both of their credit that, though his eyes flashed to my throat every so often, neither Peter nor Charlotte reacted to my violent appearance. Peter even chuckled.

"I hate to disappoint you, Jasper, but I've known you for well over a century. You're going to have come up with something better than old scars to try and hide how much you've changed, let alone give either of us the willies."

"You think I've changed?" I asked, fixing my shirt.

"You're much more…_human_ now. It's a little jarring," Peter grinned.

I did not find the claim amusing. "You must be joking. It's all I can do to avoid making the poor things my lunch."

"No, no," Peter said with a quick shake of his head. "Not that way. I just meant that you actually have a _personality _now."

I smiled. "This is the first time you've ever made any allusion to my lacking one."

Peter gave a quick bark of laughter. "I didn't think I had to. Do you remember our wedding?"

"I do. Charlotte wanted to be married in the same church as her parents. I was the Best Man."

Charlotte looked as though she would have blushed if she had still been capable of it. "Oh, don't give me that look! We were passing through Columbus, and it seemed like a good idea."

Peter was threatening to go into convulsions, he was laughing so hard. "It took us three weeks to raise the money for the ceremony—not to mention convince the pastor to do the service in the evening—and in we come, the two of us in the only suits we could find and Charlotte looking beautiful in full wedding regalia—"

"And sunglasses," I said with a grin. "It was nine in the evening and we were all wearing sunglasses."

Even Charlotte started to giggle. "I forgot that the pastor asked about that! What did you tell him?"

"I told him it was a tradition in Houston," I murmured, unsmiling.

Peter exploded in another bout of laughter. "That poor man… We had feeding for three days straight to try and avoid killing him, and you still stood in the _back_ of the church and made the both the us come back down from the altar to receive our rings."

Charlotte laughed at the simple gold band sitting on her alabaster ring finger, threatening to collapse onto Peter. "And with the most miserable look on your face, you waited for us to kiss, walked halfway up the aisle to give us your congratulations, and then flatly refused to shake Pastor Jones' hand."

"If you could call what you said 'congratulations,'" Peter chuckled. He screwed his face into a scowl and rigidly offered me his hand. "'I'm happy for you. Now can we get out of here?,'" he dropped the monotone voice and laughed again. "_That_ was our toast from the Best Man."

Even I had to laugh. "All right. I know I'm no fun."

Charlotte shook her head. "Please don't think Peter meant it with any disrespect. You know we both think of you as family. It's just—before Alice—you were so…"

"Empty," I supplied quietly. "I know."

"I would have been, too," Peter said, his smile vanishing as he put his pale hand on my shoulder.

"There's no need to put us on the same level, Peter. Even under Maria's tutelage, you retained your conscience. I did not."

"I only lived in that world for less than five years. You endured twenty," Peter murmured. "No one can blame you, you know."

I said nothing. None of us did. We all knew the truth.

After the transformation, I was a monster even among monsters. The human blood that pumped its way through my body—a blood that could not quench your thirst no matter how much you were allowed to take—was constant encouragement to rip even my own kind to pieces in the blanket of midnight. I was an eager tool, content to serve Maria: my creator and personal god.

I remembered that I had been human, but it was almost like a mark of shame. Memories of compassion and joy were a senseless inhibitor on my capacity as a killing machine. I stripped myself of weaknesses like conscience to the best of my ability, retaining only that which served Maria's purpose: loyalty, leadership, drive.

I knew of emotion—I, of all the monsters, could not lose my capacity to feel—but it was something that was to be suppressed in myself and forced into others. I was a puppet controlling lesser puppets, making them feel whatever best served Maria's purpose. An eager, all-consuming blood lust was distributed to my comrades, and an intense fear in my enemies… It was almost gratifying to have my opponents sink their teeth into my skin, preparing to rip apart the flesh of my neck, and force them into a state of paralytic fear before I ripped their own heads off their shaking bodies.

I was a _real_ vampire. The sort that could make even the grimmest of human legends look like flimsy boogie men.

It was Peter's devotion to Charlotte that first made me aware—almost by accident—that I still had a conscience. Even in the wake of Maria's rage, I was averse to hurting them. They reminded me of a loyalty I had lost in my war-driven world; the sort of loyalties based on respect, love, and friendship. It was Peter who had offered me a chance to identify myself as something other than a machine of death. His was the first immortal friendship I had ever known.

Yet it was Alice who offered me a glimpse at what other's might describe as a soul. Her natural exuberance and easy smile—her belief in a basically bright future no matter what grim visions might skirt across her vision—was almost like some strange sort of spiritual nourishment. It was as though Maria had offered me midnight, and Alice offered me sunshine. It was for Alice that I could fight the monster I used to be. For Alice, I could try to be "human" again.

A soft smile made its way to my lips as I thought of her. The mischievous little sprite that always found a way to guide me to the best of our existence. The only catalyst for what Peter had described as the "human" in me.

The only catalyst…

I dug my fingers into the dirt, pulling out the grass as I tried to find what sat so uncomfortably with me about the thought. I realized with a small stab of shock that what bothered me was its inaccuracy. All of the Cullens had a hand in creating whoever "Jasper Hale" was. Esme and Carlisle's compassion and purity, Emmett's infectious cheerfulness, and even Rosalie's bitter hold on humanity had ways of waking some dredge of a personality in me.

And Edward…I had always believed Edward was the most capable of the family without being super-humanly gentle. Where I saw Carlisle's control as something impossible to obtain, Edward understood what it meant to have tasted both vampire lifestyles. He had my respect, and was nearly worthy of my confidence even without his mindreading abilities. But now…

I had not realized I was betraying my conflicted feelings to the others until Charlotte gave me an assuring smile. "That look on your face right now is exactly what Peter means. You've loosened."

My brow furrowed. "Loosened?"

"She means you're no longer a machine of precision. You're not quite so…intimidating."

I laughed wryly at the description. I had gotten so used to feeling an utter _lack_ of discipline among the Cullens that I had nearly forgotten that "loosening up" could be positive. The idea of going from a creature of utter efficiency to one without any sense of control was both amusing and absolutely terrifying.

"I wish I had retained _more_ of my old precision," I said quietly. "My hunger nearly gave us all away last Friday."

"I just can't imagine being trapped in a room with so many humans day in and day out," Charlotte said with disbelief. "How do you stand it?"

"I don't," I admitted. "At least not like the others. It never gets easier for me. All I can do is hunt more regularly and stay as far away as I'm able."

Peter just gave a sympathetic shake of his head. "Well, if you and Alice ever decide it's too much trouble, you're welcome to travel with us."

"I appreciate the gesture, but Alice is comfortable enough for the both of us."

"Ah, that's right. Your lovely wife likes humans, right?"

There was no venom in Peter's words, only an uncomprehending curiosity. It made it impossible for anyone, even me, to take offense.

"That's right."

"I wish I could understand how you all do it…" he sighed, gesturing to the forest around him. "How do you deny your natural diet?"

"I suppose you just...feel for them, after a time."

Peter shook his head. He was not as callous as most of our kind—he did see humans as something beyond cattle—but he also saw his diet as a natural part of the food chain. "It's not that I don't understand Carlisle's argument, but humans themselves eat other intelligent species, correct? I understand that dolphin is considered particularly delicious in some parts of the world."

I just gave a vague shrug, sliding further against the grass, my mind floating between Edward and Carlisle. "Perhaps it's just some way of seeking redemption for our existence…"

"Redemption?" Charlotte asked. I could feel her eyes on my face even without looking at her.

"A way to be less of a monster, I suppose," I explained.

"Do you feel that way?" Peter asked.

"That we're monsters or that giving up our natural diet makes us less of one?"

"Both."

I turned my head to look at them. There was no hostility or offense in their aura. They simply waited. "We're monsters," I said with certainty. "Or I am, at least. But ripping apart deer and wildcat doesn't make it any less true."

"Hm," Peter murmured. "I always felt that I was better for being what I am."

I could hardly believe my ears. Peter, Charlotte and I had always been fairly fatalistic when it came to our transformations. What we were now would not change, and there was no point in moping about. I had never imagined that Peter actually saw it as something to be _celebrated._ "Better? Even after Maria?"

"Even after Maria," he said softly. "I understand what love is now. Love between two immortals is much more intense than any human emotion, don't you think?"

Charlotte laughed. "Oh, is that what you think? I thought you said you loved me from the very moment you saw me. I didn't know you meant as a vampire."

My brain felt as though it had been dipped in an icy bath of panic. "What…?"

"We met Charlotte as a human first, remember?" Peter explained. "Maria told us to guard her from the newborns while she underwent the transformation. I can't quite explain it, but there was something about her. She was so…small. I _wanted_ to protect her. And the feeling remained even after she was one of us."

He kissed Charlotte lightly atop her head and smiled at me.

I paused, trying to hide my surprise. It had honestly never occurred to me how other vampires found their mates. Alice had always been…Alice. She had found me first, and I only known her as an immortal._ She _had only known _herself _as an immortal. But when I thought about it, Carlisle and Rosalie had described similar scenarios upon meeting Esme and Emmett.

Were vampire-human attractions normal then…? The thought was absolutely baffling.

In all honesty, I could not be sure. After all, all those love affairs began with finding the human nearly dead—already dead in a sense, from what little I knew—and subsequently screaming in agony. Not one of them had been foolish enough to actually fall for a human that had to be left as they were. Why would they? It was ludicrous for any immortal to preserve a human's fragility at the expense of torturing himself…

No, I decided quickly. Edward was still an anomaly.

"You know…" Charlotte said with an awkward smile, interrupting my musings, "Before Alice, we always thought Maria was your mate. Or whatever Maria's version of one was."

I stared at her as if she had just spoken another language. "Maria and I?"

"She certainly favored you," Peter said, his mouth a hard line.

My mouth twisted into a bitter smile. "I was her favorite toy. She _favored_ me because I survived and kept the others in line. My death would have meant nothing to her. If you remember correctly, she advocated it by the end of our relationship."

"But didn't you love her?" Charlotte asked. "Peter always said you treated her with such…devotion."

"Love and devotion are hardly the same thing," I murmured, fingering the cell phone in my pocket as I spoke. "I was content to be a means to an end for Maria because I saw her as my savior. I did not know there was a world for vampires outside the one she showed me."

"Your savior? She was responsible for your change!" Charlotte objected.

"Yes, and had she left the decision up to Nettie or Lucy I would have been dead," I said simply. "It's true that she used me—I understood that—but she rewarded me for my loyalty. She gave me a steady food supply, troops to command and an endless number of enemies to keep me occupied. It was enough to make me risk whatever 'life' a vampire has."

"Willingly risking your life for someone sounds a lot like love, Jasper," Peter said, throwing a protective arm around Charlotte.

I shrugged, looking away from them and back up to the sky. "Risking death for another is not nearly so significant as dedicating your life to someone. Particularly in a world where death was so easy to find."

"Your Alice has had an amazing effect on you, hasn't she?" Peter asked, his tone one of incredible respect. "I wonder if—"

We stopped at the soft thump of footsteps only a few yards from where we sat chatting. I rose first, recognizing the confident stride that led the way immediately. In the heat of our conversation, I not noticed the sun's decline. It seemed somehow disorienting that my watch already read eleven o'clock.

It was obvious that something was off from the moment Emmett emerged from the trees without his characteristic smile. My friends were not anymore blind to the change in my brother's behavior than I was.

"Do you think that Edward—?" Charlotte began uneasily.

"No, I don't," I murmured, moving to meet them almost without being aware of the motion.

I was standing beside Alice from the very moment she made her way into the clearing. She acknowledged my presence with a weary smile.

"You didn't call, I see," she teased.

"You were glad I didn't, I see," I responded, soothing her tense emotions in a gentle balm of reassurance.

She noticed the effort and made her grin more genuine. "You won't mind if I play on Emmett's team, will you?"

"Not so long as it pleases you."

"Thanks, man," Emmett said, overhearing her request. "It's just until Ed shows up."

Peter's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline. "You expect him to play?"

"Well, I left a note telling him where we are and Alice says he'll stop by the house before we get back," Emmett said, shrugging his large shoulders. "I mean, what else is he gonna do all night? Watch the human sleep?"

He missed the odd way Alice tensed her expression, and the matter—though hardly a mystery—was immediately settled. It was human before family.

Again.

"He's not coming," I said dully, keeping my voice low as the rest of our group got together preparing the field. I was surprised at the acid in my voice.

"It has nothing to do with Peter or Charlotte," Alice assured me quickly. "I promise."

"Mm," I managed, following her to the others.

As expected, teams were decided fairly quickly. Once Peter made it clear that he could not do without Charlotte or me, Emmett decided on Rosalie, Carlisle and—in place of Edward—Alice.

"When Edward shows up, Alice can defect and we can have Esme referee," Emmett promised, his normal exuberance for competition returning.

The rest of us simply nodded, breaking into teams without really meeting Emmett's eye. Thankfully, he did not seem to notice as he studied the yard lines that had been hastily marked out. "Okay, since we're technically the home team, we'll kick off first."

Peter agreed, a pleasant smile on his face, "By all means."

With a satisfied grin, Emmett called his team into a huddle and my friend quickly followed suit. We listened intently as Peter gave precise instructions on how to handle our play, pausing only to ask what few pieces of information about a family member's playing style that he had not already gathered from me.

"Jasper's probably the most well-rounded of all of us," he said at last, his words clipped with efficiency. "And that should work to our advantage so long as he's up to the task."

With my mind still running over my brief conversation with Alice, I gave a silent nod. I was not only up to the task, but my every muscle was demanding that some act of aggression take place. I was more than willing to comply.

The game devolved almost immediately, despite Esme and Carlisle's best efforts at keeping us "clean." I wish I could say I had made an effort to keep my own hostility from reaching the others, but I almost encouraged it. The field seemed to develop a dreary grayness in the moonlight, and the only color I could provide it was tinged with anger or disappointment. Even Emmett, for all his competiveness, kept glancing back at the woods at the slightest sound of an animal's tread in the distance.

With Rosalie distracted by Emmett and Carlisle working to keep the peace, it was only Alice who ever made any substantial plays. She shamelessly took advantage of my partiality, waiting for even the slightest signs of hesitation and dancing off to the goal line. It quickly became apparent to Peter that fashioning a play ahead of time only made us that much easier for Alice to "see" our plan, and it became an unspoken to rule that whatever ideas we fashioned ahead of time should be immediately disregarded. Still, Alice made the field her plaything and, was it not for the rest of the team's quick improvisation, she would have scored nearly every time the football came into her tiny hands. As it was, she only scored most of the time, and that was not quite enough to make up for her team's deficit.

By three in the morning, our teams had broken off into different activities altogether. Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie asked Charlotte more about her travels—Rosalie concerned more about the material details than the actual geography—and Peter and Emmett were busy wrestling one another to the ground. Alice and I merely tossed the football to one another, aimlessly wasting time until it became clear to the rest of our group—even Emmett—that no one else was going to join our half-hearted games.

The trek back to the house was strangely solemn, everyone feeling Edward's absence. It bothered me that we were all so strangely dependent on his presence, as though the group could not function with any of its members gone.

I quickened my step to distance myself from the feeling, and managed to arrive at the house first.

My eyes paused on Emmett's eager note as we silently trudged inside.

It appeared Edward had come back from watching the girl after all—at least long enough to scrawl "_sorry_" under Emmett's plea to join us. I fought the urge to throw it away before Emmett noticed. It seemed better that he should think Edward was ignorant of the game rather than consciously refusing to spend time with us. Still, what was the point in lying for him? If Alice had offered him the truth then I would, too. Let Emmett do what he would.

My brother did not take the news quietly.

"'Sorry?'" he repeated, ripping the note from its post and studying Edward's brief response. "'_Sorry?' _What the hell was more important than the game?"

"Bella Swan," I said quietly, sinking into the sofa with a strange dullness surrounding my senses.

"No way. It's like five in the morning and she's a _human_. What was he doing, sneaking around her bedroom and watching her sleep?"

Everyone simply looked at him, watching as Emmett's eyes widened with incredulity.

"No. _Hell_ no. You don't mean he actually skipped a _football game_ to find out if this chick snores! You better be kidding me!"

"You have to look at it from Edward's point of view, Emmett," Alice said, attempting to defend Edward's obvious insanity. "Humans are most vulnerable while sleeping. If he's worried about anything happening to her at school, of course he's going to be concerned about who might happen upon her home in the middle of night."

"Whatever, Alice! He's a _vampire_. He _is_ the worst thing that could happen upon her in the middle of the night!" Emmett ran his hands through his hair and swore under his breath. "I can't freakin' _believe_ this…"

Without another word to the rest of us, Emmett stomped up the stairs, grumbling under his breath about the stupidity of the whole affair. He still had Edward's message crumbled in his fist.

"I better make sure he doesn't break anything that's mine…" Rosalie murmured, following after him.

"He better not break anything at _all!_" Esme warned. "If I have to refinish that door frame again…"

"Don't worry, I'll distract him," my twin assured her. "But really, can you blame him if does? He _deserves_ to smash something here and there."

"That doesn't mean much coming from you, Rose," Alice quipped, her eyes still narrowed in Edward's defense.

Rosalie gave no answer, closing the door to her and Emmett's room closed behind her with a resounding snap.

Peter and Charlotte merely watched the exchange in silence, their eyes flashing upstairs and then back to me.

Carlisle and Esme made brief apologies to our guests and excused themselves as well, Carlisle to make a phone call to the hospital and assure it was faring well without him, and Esme to the blueprints in her study.

"Perhaps we should leave a little early…" Charlotte began uneasily.

"No. You are both _my _friends. I'm sorry if Edward's recent behavior has made your visit less pleasant than I hoped it would be. It would mean a great deal to me if you stayed."

"Very well," Peter assented. "But perhaps you two _should_ come with us, Jasper. We can get you back on your natural diet before you go mad, too." He smiled, but his tone was only half-joking.

Alice did not return the smile. "I think we'll stay, thank you. I don't see Jazz going crazy anytime soon."

"Well, I would hope not," Peter said seriously, studying my amber eyes with his burgundy pair. "He's a very dear friend."

"Ah, that reminds me!" Alice exclaimed, breaking the tension with a sunny smile. "We haven't given you anything to take along to Seattle! Come on upstairs and I'm sure we can find a few nice things buried in our room."

"You're too kind," Charlotte said, allowing Alice to lead the way to our bedroom.

The rest of their stay was mercifully more pleasant. Edward was a nonentity, and part of me wished that he would remain distant for the remainder of Peter and Charlotte's stay. The rest of the family came back down after a few hours and—after making sure that my two companions were suitably provided for—we sat together and intermediately watched television and exchanged old stories. Charlotte even mentioned getting a home of their own in Canada, just to rest for a week or so every few months. Still, even that brief amount of time was a gamble. They did not want any humans to notice a trend between their arrival and an increase in missing persons.

Unfortunately, the good times were stilted when Alice announced that Edward would be arriving home shortly. Peter had already mentioned leaving now that the clouds had thickened a little, and hastened to grab their bags with renewed energy at the news.

"Thank you so much for your goodwill and hospitality," Charlotte said, giving Alice a warm embrace. "We'll have to return the favor to you sometime."

"Not at all!" Alice exclaimed with a merry laugh. "You took care of Jasper before I could find him. Consider us far more than even."

Peter opened his mouth to say something in response, but was interrupted by Edward's stormy entry from the kitchen. With a brief nod at Emmett and Esme's greetings, he walked to his piano and unceremoniously ignored the rest of us.

I looked up at the clock hanging on the mantelpiece and noted the time. It was just minutes after school. Of course.

Peter and Charlotte noticed the snub, and could not quite conceal their shock and outrage. I grit my teeth and made the briefest movement in Edward's direction, but was stopped by Alice's light touch on my hand.

I took control of my anger in an instant, though not without some effort. How ironic that I found it so easy to control others, but had to work so hard when it came to controlling myself. Ironic, but not at all amusing.

Rosalie was hardly in a better mood, and did not bother to conceal her grimace. Not that I could blame her. Edward _was_ being fairly insufferable. His frenzied notes varied from cries of impatience to outright hostility.

Even Esme emitted concern, but with the baffling accompaniment of joy. She approved of Edward's newfound obsession, even if she was less than thrilled by the adverse side-effects it had on our guests. Still, with her it was worry, not annoyance.

Alice merely smiled, humming to herself the way she always did when she saw her friendship with Bella growing more eminent. I would have been happy for her if I were not so preoccupied with keeping my rage in check.

It was almost gratifying to see that Emmett, at least, was still grumbling.

Still, I had absolved to ignore Edward and the somewhat violent notes that streamed from the piano, and that was exactly what I would do. He was not going to ruin my goodbyes. I would not allow it.

Peter and Charlotte looked past me as they murmured the rest of their thanks, their thoughts clearly dominated by Edward's bizarre behavior. Charlotte looked somewhat incredulous, while Peter's face and emotions revealed nothing but dubious observance of my brother's erratic display.

We resolved to finish our goodbyes quickly, not bothering with the futile effort of having Edward join us. Only Esme was good-hearted enough to hesitate, her eyes continually darting back to the piano.

I fought the quick shot of annoyance that jolted across my system.

No, damn it. I would not let him ruin this!

I kept my face serene, and moved to the only subject more distracting than Edward.

"If you see Maria again," I hedged, "tell her I wish her well."

I had only seen Maria once after my defection. She had decided to check in on me while we had all been living in Calgary. The world she lived in was brutally foreign to the peace-loving Cullens, and her previous plans to kill me were hardly considered something to hold a grudge over. Still, Maria was Maria, and we had been forced to evacuate the area immediately. I had been careful to ask that she keep her distance in the future.

"I don't imagine that will happen soon," Peter said with a laugh. I managed to force my lips into something that might resemble a smile. Of course not. Peter had not only released one of Maria's "unneeded pawns," but had even convinced me to run with him, not that he had to work particularly hard at it. "But, should it happen, I certainly will."

With a more genuine smile, we shook hands, and I leaned down to allow Charlotte to give me a quick peck on the cheek. They had just turned to leave when Edward stopped playing—the sound was strangely abrupt—and moved forward to say his own farewell.

I looked away, praying he would not ruin _all_ chance of them returning.

"Charlotte, Peter," he said with a nod.

"It was nice to see you again, Edward," Charlotte said doubtfully. Peter merely nodded.

I fought back a bitter laugh. They had hardly "seen" him at all, he was so busy defending Forks against them.

Emmett and Rosalie were equally antagonistic in emotion and Esme was, as usual, all sympathy.

Alice's emotions were simply those of rebuff, though I could not be sure if it was related to his behavior toward my friends or the human girl.

He seemed to evaluate whatever thoughts he heard free of any guilt, however, and disappeared to the garage just as quickly as he entered. I could not be sure if he was respecting my wish to be rid of him, or simply trying to get back to stalking Bella as quickly as possible. I was leaning heavily toward the latter.

We were all quiet for a moment as the sound of the Volvo's engine disappeared in the distance, and I allowed the dark thoughts brooding in the back of my mind to bubble to the surface. Edward had all but guaranteed that Peter and Charlotte felt unwelcome here. All for a foolish human child he yearned for in only one way that I could force myself to understand.

I wanted someone to pay. Anyone.

An idea hit me with a tempting amount of force, and the black part of my mind went eagerly to meet it.

I escorted Peter and Charlotte out, encouraging them to drop by again if they had the opportunity. "In fact, I'll only a little ways behind you," I murmured, wrapping my fingers around my cell phone.

Both Peter and Charlotte wore identical expressions of surprise and cautious pleasure.

"Are you planning to come to Seattle with us then?"

"Only on business, I'm afraid," I said, failing to tinge my voice with even a moment's trace of regret. "But I have a phone call to make first."

My friends nodded and, with one final good bye, slung their bags on their back.

"I meant what I said before, Jasper," Peter called before he and his wife became hidden in the woods. "You're always welcome to join us if your life here becomes…unpredictable."

I gave a nod of acknowledge and, with one last wave, watched as they disappeared from sight. Then, I simply stood in the front yard for a moment, watching the way my scars distorted the prisms cast by the dying sunlight. It was nice to be surrounded by the serenity of nature while I allowed myself to succumb to violence. For once, I was more than willing to be the beast I was.

With a grim smile, I grabbed the phone in my pocket and dialed the only human phone number I knew, allowing Edward's callous behavior to fuel my viciousness.

An irritated voice interrupted the second ring. "If you're calling me at this number you better have one hell of an emergency. I'm with a client, and I don't schedule appointments after three."

"My apologies for interrupting you," I snarled, keeping my voice a purr above a growl. "I wasn't aware I allowed you to delegate _my_ schedule."

"M-M-Mr. Jasper…" Jenks's voice drained of its authority in an instant, and there was the dry, rasping sound of him trying to swallow his fear. "Pl-Please excuse me. I…I-I…didn't…know. H-How may I h-help you...?"

"I would think you would know by now what sort of help I intend you to give me. Unless of course you're too _busy_…"

"No, no! My God, no! Wh-Where—?"

"I'm on my way to your office in Seattle now."

"That's…wonderful," he said, his voice barely rising above a squeak. "W-When should I expect you?"

I smiled widely, purposely letting him hear the poisonous humor in my voice, "Very, very soon."


	12. Seattle

_A/N: **I am making one canon-related announcement, just in case.** Within the context of this chapter, there is significant talk about Jasper and Alice's wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, while I managed to find a few sources that could give a rough estimate, there is thus far no canon day, month or year of their wedding. To compensate for this, I mixed together what I did know from the books/the Twilight Lexicon's time line with what I thought would make the mention of such a date more interesting, and the end result is below. Again, I did my best, but I apologize if this offends any diehard TeamJaspers who have knowledge superior to my own. Feel free to fill me in, guys. :)_

_Back to business, special thanks goes to my INCREDIBLE beta-person, rameau, for absolutely ceaseless dedication, and TwilightMomofTwo for keeping me from straying too far from the source. You two are amazing._ **_This chapter is dedicated to thamker, who has stuck with Crescents through the author's long and numerous dry spells and has a really dynamite sense of humor. Thanks for putting up with me. :)_**

**_

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_CHAPTER 12: SEATTLE**

"I wouldn't go if I were you," Alice whispered, gently putting her hand on the sleeve of my shirt. "You'll just end up regretting it."

"Did you have a vision?" I asked, unable to infuse my voice with even a glimmer of life.

"I don't need one to know that," she said, a touch of sadness breaking through her calm composure.

I could not bring myself to acknowledge that my actions were hurting her. It was simply too difficult. In some horribly twisted way, Jason Jenks had become a means of releasing my anger at Edward. My selfish need to exact some sort of vengeance on someone—_anyone—_would not allow me to forsake this trip, even at the risk of displeasing Alice…

"Could you find me something to wear in the sunlight?" I asked at last, brushing past her to fetch the manila envelope Esme had left on my desk. I did not wait for her answer and she neglected to give me one, but amidst her obvious reluctance lurked some thin thread of acceptance.

For a moment, even Alice was free from my mind as I grabbed the packet and surveyed its contents to make certain that it was clean of any photos or other extraneous information. No matter how completely I might be able to blackmail Jenks, I would sooner end his existence altogether than hand him my family's complete identity.

Satisfied, I turned to the door to see Alice watching me in reproachful silence, her lips pinched into a pout as she pushed a money belt into my hands and set my clothes on a nearby chair. With a brief word of thanks, I made sure the belt was tightly strapped to my waist and quickly pulled on the suit Alice had provided. I paused for a moment as I straightened my cufflinks, puzzled momentarily by unusual selection. The suit was one that Alice was particularly partial to, and I could not fathom why she would want me to wear it on such an unpleasant occasion.

She caught my baffled expression and managed to smile as she helped me pull a long trench coat over my navy ensemble. "Well, since I see you're going to be obstinate, I thought I might make it a little bit easier to forgive you when you come back."

"Alice…"

"Nope," Alice sang, hopping up to throw a hat on my head and quickly darting out of my grasp. "Your apologies will have to wait until you come back. If you look sorry enough, I _might_ just believe you."

With an exasperated sigh, I pulled on my driving gloves and descended to the garage. While my heavy clothing would mostly obscure me in the last few hours of sunlight, the tinted glass of a car window always provided me with an extra feeling of security. I surveyed our selection carefully, trying to discern which one of the family's ludicrously expensive vehicles would seem the least pretentious.

I paused at the covered car discretely tucked away in the corner of the garage, my mind utterly blank as I took in its familiar shape. There was no need to reveal its spotless surface to know that it was Edward's prized Aston Martin, but, hardly aware I was even moving, I peeled away the dreary fabric and silently studied the car's gleaming metal surface.

Even I, who had always preferred the openness of motorcycles to nearly all vehicles with a roof, had to admit it was a beautiful piece of machinery. I ran my hand along the smooth curve of its hood, wistfully imagining the crude shapes it would bend into if it were "accidentally" thrown off the side of the freeway…

The violent images were almost startling. It was unusual for me to take out my anger on other people's possessions, even if only in my head. Rosalie was the one who acted out, not me. I backed away from the car with an agitated groan. What was _wrong _with me these days?

"Come on, Jasper," I muttered to myself, managing to sound far more determined than I felt. "Surely you have better control than _this._"

"That's up for debate," Rosalie said, drifting over to me with a satisfied smile. "Not much handles better than an Aston Martin."

I fought back the wild urge to rip out the car's steering wheel and shove it into Rosalie's mouth, my attempts to control myself all but forgotten. Apparently, I was no better at lying to myself aloud than I was in my head.

My sister must have noted my hands balling into fists, because she did not goad me further. She studied my wardrobe for a moment before looking back at the car, her eyebrows raised in vague suspicion. "It's rare to see you in here admiring cars, Jasper. What exactly are you doing?"

I ignored her and carefully placed the cover back on the vehicle. It was a bad idea to tempt myself further, and a car would not increase my chances in the sunlight by an enormous amount. Besides, if I ran, I could cut through the Olympic National Forest and reduce my travel time to a little over an hour. Still, I felt uneasy. I hated to expose myself when it was avoidable…

Anxious to be as concealed as possible in the face of direct sunlight, I raised the collar of my coat and settled the hat further down on my head. With a brief nod to Rosalie, I pointedly turned away from the Aston Martin.

"Wait!" my sister cried as I started for the front yard.

I paused, cursing my good Southern upbringing. I was in no mood to stop, even at the request of a lady. "What is it, Rosalie?"

"You're not really leaving to follow Edward, are you?"

Her question startled me. I had not thought Rosalie one to particularly care what I chose to do away from her. "I'm not quite that irrational," I said quietly.

"Really? But then why does Alice seem so pissed...?" I was surprised by the violent wave of panic that enveloped her as she ran to clutch my shoulder. "Don't tell me you're going with Peter and Charlotte!"

I gently removed her hand, strangely flattered by her unnecessary anxiety. "I'm afraid I'm not that strong."

With a quick touch to my breast pocket to make sure the envelope was still safely tucked away, I made my way out of the garage as fast as my legs would carry me.

---

The journey to Seattle was a familiar one, and it was easy enough to stay clear of humans for a good two-thirds of the trip. Had my mood been as sunny as the weather, I might have enjoyed the journey. The ridiculous hat I wore threatened to fly off my head as I sped through the woods, and the wind hit my face with comforting familiarity. Still, I was careful to stay hidden in the shadows. It would be well within Fate's hateful nature to have me stumble across a hapless hiker at just the wrong moment.

My mind continually moved between Rosalie's unusual display of emotion and Alice's somber face when she told me I would regret my trip. I allowed myself a bitter laugh. I was expected to regret an opportunity to act like the savage I was? Unlikely.

As I made my way off the wooded peninsula and into Seattle's backstreets, I tucked the trench coat closer to my body. Even with the long patches of shade the skyscrapers cast onto the sidewalk, the sunlight reflecting off the mirrored glass of the hotels and corporate buildings made movement immensely uncomfortable. My only saving grace was the very nature of Seattle's populace. Only a sparse few bothered to pay their fellow pedestrians with more than a glance, and my heavy clothing was not unusual in the business section of the city. In fact, the only individuals who seemed to notice my presence at all were the beggars perched inconspicuously along doorways and street corners.

"It's a mighty fine day, sir," a particularly grizzled human called, rattling his cup of change in my direction. "Might you care to shine some of God's good will on an old man? I'm a veteran, y'know… Lost my left hand so you could continue going about your business today!"

I paused for only a moment, vaguely wondering how repulsed God would find the prospect of this man soliciting a vampire in His name. Still, perhaps his appeal as a veteran somehow counteracted the offense. After all, I had once been a soldier, too…

The old man did not notice the moment as hesitation, but offered me a shocked toothless grin as I deposited a hundred dollar note in the plastic cup. "_Bless _you, sir!"

I acknowledged the man's wasted blessings with a small nod and continued making my way through the shadows.

I could not help but wonder if Peter and Charlotte were somewhere nearby, planning to make the poor tramp their next meal. It seemed unlikely that any human should stumble upon three vampires in one day—especially in such an immense city—but I could not be absolutely positive. Part of me yearned to see them, even at the expense of the old man's life, just as much as another part of me loathed the thought of their presence being tainted by such a despicable errand.

Apparently the latter feeling was predominant, and I felt a satisfying rush of relief as I made my way inside the glittering skyscraper nestled in the heart of the city without being stopped a second time.

Regardless of where Jenks had been upon receiving my phone call, I knew without a doubt that the Rynard Building was where he would meet me. He met all his high-priority clients in the immaculate tower of law and medical offices, and I was nothing if not "high-priority." In fact, there was a fair chance that the Cullen family was largely responsible for the substantial amount of money required for a private office in such an exclusive location.

I passed the ornate marble architecture of the main lobby with a sort of bitter familiarity, and quickly made my way to the private elevator. A line of metal detectors barred my entrance and, noticing the grimfaced security guard awaiting my approach, I thought it best to simply endure the small waste of my time. With a quick glance at the tinted glass, I allowed my hat, shoes, gloves, cell phone and wristwatch to go through the x-ray machine, and slowly made my way through the metal detector. The guard eyed my coat suspiciously but, as I passed through the machine quietly enough, did not ask me to remove it. Even if she had, the search would have been fruitless at best. My money was hidden discreetly beneath my suit jacket, and the sort of weapons I was carrying were not likely to set off any alarms.

After retrieving my discarded items, I quickly found my elevator and made my way to the top floor. I could not help but be grateful that Jenks had the good sense to pick a building with an express elevator. It limited the opportunity for other people to board, and I was in no mood to dally with humans in an enclosed space.

When the doors finally opened at my desired floor, I made my way past the unmarked offices along the hallway and walked directly to the glass enclosed office at the far end of the hall.

The receptionist was abuzz with curiosity as I made my way to her desk, though she hid it remarkably well beneath her well-practiced smile. I did not recognize her but, after enduring so many of Alice's fashion magazines, I could immediately discern why Jenks had hired her. She was one of those women who I could only suppose was meant to be attractive in a plastic sort of way. Though she could not have been over twenty-five, a quick glance at her face left the distinct impression that her skin was constructed entirely of make-up, and her hair was so carefully coifed into place it very nearly looked like a solid mass of hair gel. A macabre part of me yearned to peel back her skin and see if the plethora of chemicals she was soaking into her face had actually managed to reach the bone.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm going to have to ask that you remove your coat and hat. It's Mr. Jenks's policy, I'm afraid," she said, happily referring me to a metal coat rack stationed discreetly in the corner of the room.

It was no surprise that Jenks would want his clients to remove any extraneous clothing before entering his office. Not only did it lessen the chance of them carrying anything dangerous in with them, but it made blackmailing them later that much simpler. Still, I complied quickly enough, though the large window that made up the back wall made me uneasy. Thankfully, the office was on the eastern wing of a fairly crowded section of the cityscape, and, while the sun was still high in the sky, there did not seem to be any danger of its rays breaking through the cluttered skyline.

My lips instinctively curled back in disgust as I heard the receptionist's appreciative gasp upon shaking off my thick coat and depositing it with my discarded hat and gloves. I managed to conceal the emotion as I turned to face her again.

"My! Thank you _very_ much, sir," she purred, leaning forward as though to emphasize the giant mounds of silicone protruding from her low cut shirt. Between her cleavage and the suffocating level of lust she was producing, it was a struggle to find the small nametag pinned to her blouse: Miss E. Blackwell. I smiled. It was somewhat gratifying to know the name of the individual who had managed to fill me with such an impressive level of revulsion. "Now, might you have an appointment?" Her make-up twisted itself into a fake smile, and her false eyelashes batted in a way that I could only guess was meant to be alluring.

I returned the smile, trying and failing to match her insincerity. "I am expected," I assured her.

Her eyes lingered on my face for a moment and, with obvious reluctance, she buzzed Jenks's office.

_"Name?"_ she mouthed as she waited for him to answer.

"Jasper."

She pressed the mute button on her headset and rolled her eyes. "I meant your _full _name, sir."

"I assure you, Ms. Blackwell, Jasper is all he needs." I had long ago assured Mr. Jenks that the day he decided to say anything more than "Jasper" in regards to my family would be one he would most certainly regret.

With a suffering sigh, she removed her finger from the button. "Mr. Jenks, there's a Mister…_Jasper_ here to see you."

I heard the frantic yells of Jenks instructing her to let me in and, with a glance at me that held almost the same texture of fear I picked up in Jenks's voice, she pointed me toward his office.

With a more genuine—albeit humorless—smile, I let myself in.

Jenks was already standing up to greet me upon my entrance, though his skin was blanched a sickly white and his entire body was quivering with fright. I could catch the smell of his sweat even before the door was fully opened and, indeed, his face and underarms were thoroughly drenched with perspiration.

I took in his pathetic state with something that might have been fascination, had I felt less indifference towards my subject. It was an interesting experience, watching humans age. The necessity for secrecy in an immortal's lifestyle did not often allow me to witness it firsthand. It was remarkable how quickly the relatively youthful forties melted into the late fifties. And for Jenks, it was not a graceful transformation. He had always been short, but his wide belly and receding hairline made him look especially pathetic. There were even a few new wrinkles that clung to mouth and forehead, the fine lines deepening under the stress of my visit. I was relieved to find that his increasing age did nothing in the way of garnering my pity.

"M-Mr. Jasper," he stammered, striding toward me and briefly clasping my hand in his. I allowed the gesture, scanning his expensive suit with distaste as his body quivered before me. The quality was good and he wore it to impress, but all I could see was how poorly the lines hid his growing waistline. Even I could see the effect was unflattering.

"I'll spare you anymore fake pleasantries," I murmured, removing the envelope from my jacket and throwing it on the mahogany desk beside him. He winced at the motion and took a quick step backward. "Our passports have expired. I trust you find the information we supplied adequate to replace them?"

Jenks gingerly took the packet from the desk and scanned its contents with a small nod. "This will be fine. I notice there are two or three names for each physical summary listed. Would you like a few copies with these aliases as well?"

"Well, let me think, Mr. Jenks. Do you know of any other reason I might provide you with that information?" I asked softly, smiling vaguely as I sent a subtle wave of dread coursing through the room.

He made two shaky attempts to swallow, and I fought back a vicious laugh. I liked to watch him shy away from me; I enjoyed keeping the monster I was undisguised.

"Of…of c-course, sir. My apologies. Wh-When would you like them?"

"You have five days at the most. I would like them sooner." Preferably, I could pick them up this weekend and get the less interesting details out of the way as quickly as possible.

"That's a rush—" he cut himself off abruptly, eyeing me with a healthy combination of fear and respect. "O-Of course, I mean to say, it will be done, Mr. Jasper."

His assurance was unnecessary, and I did not acknowledge it. "How much?"

Jenks tore a sheet of paper from his personal stationary and wrote down the price of my request. I glanced at the number, pulled half the sum from its hidden place beneath my suit and immediately handed it over to him.

He counted the bills for form's sake and carefully stashed the money away. "Thank you, sir. Will that be all?"

"Yes," I murmured, absently resting my hand on the arm of one of the impressive wood and leather chairs he had perched in front of his desk. "Until we meet again, Mr. Jenks."

"Yes, sir," he said, wiping his face with a handkerchief and managing a small bow. "Please send my regards to your wife and the rest of your lovely family."

I smiled widely, careful to show all my teeth as I filled the room with an uneasy calm. "You want to send your regards to my family?" I asked pleasantly, running the tips of my fingers along the beautifully stained wooden backrest.

"Why, yes, Mr. Jasper!" Jenks cried, hesitantly delighted with the sudden reprieve from fear. "It is an…an honor to be business with all of you."

"I see," I whispered, still smiling. With the briefest movement of my fingers, I ripped the back of the chair clear from its legs. My eyes moved from Jenks' paralyzed form to the splinters that covered his carpet and engulfed everything that surrounded me with my mind numbing malice, hardly aware of him in the wake of my own vicious anger.

My voice was quiet and purposeful as I made one slow step towards him. "You will not taint my wife's existence with your acknowledgment ever again, do you understand me?"

"I-I didn't mean…"

Before he could breathe his next syllable I stood before him, absently waving his stolen wallet in front of his face. Ignoring his numerous credit and membership cards, I flipped its leather cover open to a thick wad of photos and carefully named the subject of every picture, including the pets. "Why don't yougive _my _regards to your goddaughter, Mary? Or your nephew, Andrew? Or Patrick, or Amy, or Ashley, or Steven?" I flipped through the contents with familiarity, allowing him to feel nothing but pleasantness as I finished browsing the photos. "Or perhaps you'd like me to visit them personally. Shall I name their addresses for you, too?"

He shook his head violently, his eyes wide with fear. The contentment I allowed him to feel calmed him enough to find his voice, but was hardly sufficient to fight off the terror I had already pulsed through him. "Pl-Please no! I…I…I-I'm s-s-sorry, Mr. Jasper! V…very sorry!"

I released him from my grip and threw his wallet at his heaving gut. "Let's be careful not to bring up family again then, shall we?" I hissed, my smile disappearing. "It seems to put us both a little on edge."

He backed away from me immediately, his hands too shaky to return the wallet to his pockets. "I _am_ sorry, Mr. Jasper. It's just…I…I wasn't expecting to see you. I was of the understanding that you wouldn't…that is, you said you'd never want to meet with me today. Not that I mind!" he added quickly, "But I think the…the _surprise_ must be making a little sloppy."

_Would never meet with him today…?_ My mind raced over possible explanations. I could not understand what he meant. Tuesdays? Sunny days? No, I had done both before.

I growled, angry that I had entertained his pitiful excuses for even a moment. "Are you trying to justify your obviously unjustifiable behavior, Mr. Jenks? Because if you're not, you had better be clear. I am running short on patience, and I see no reason to continue with this little dialogue simply because of our _history _together." I would be reduced to ash before Jason Jenks would ever earn the privilege of referring to my family with any degree of familiarity.

"N-No, sir," he gasped, pointing a trembling hand toward his calendar. "It's just, in the past, you had said that March eighth was never to be used as a contact date. I had been careful to make a record of it, that's all!"

"March…eighth?" My stone heart felt like an enormous weight in my chest, and my anger was quickly reduced to pure panic. I stared at the calendar with wide eyes, all but forgetting Jenks's presence.

"M-Mr. Jasper, sir? Are you all right?"

"Is this correct?" I asked, touching the date as though half-afraid it would jump off the page and attack me.

He nodded. "Why? Is something wrong…?"

Alice.

I pulled my hair in pure disbelief, blinking hard as though to convince myself I was not seeing that cursed number correctly. It was March eighth, the anniversary of the day I had asked Alice to marry me. A date that was second only to our actual wedding anniversary. I wanted to claw my own dead heart from my chest. Alice, Alice, _Alice_…!

I looked at the shivering man standing beside me, unable to shake myself free of the detestation engulfing my every being. He knew the significance of today before I did…This human—this creature who should know _nothing_ of us—knew that I would regret my decision to come even before I arrived! Just like Alice…

I straightened up immediately, forcing the calendar out of my sight. "Alice…" I mouthed, agonized. I wanted to burn myself alive.

"Are…are you certain you're all right?" Jenks asked a second time, nearly as shaken by my pain as my threats.

_No, I am _not_ fine, _I wanted to scream. _Alice…!_ I swallowed my self-disgust long enough to give Jenks a short nod. "Yes, our business is…concluded. Get me the papers by Sunday, Jenks, or I will find someone that can."

"O-Of course, Mr. Jasper. Is The Pacifico still an acceptable place to make the exchange?"

I nodded, not really hearing the question and far beyond caring. "That's fine. Forgive me for destroying your furniture. I will be certain to bring enough to cover the chair…"

"That's not necessary, sir. I…"

"Jenks," I interrupted, "do you know a place where I can find a wide variety of fresh flowers?"

"Fl-Flowers?" he repeated, baffled. "Yes, there's a place nearby… Just…just a moment," he took a deep, shuddering breath and pressed his intercom. "Evelyn?"

"Yes, sir?" the receptionist's voice crackled back.

"Provide Mr. Jasper with directions to that flower shop you ordered Mrs. Andrews's roses from! Prepare them as quickly as you can, do you understand me?"

"Y-Yes, sir."

"Very good," Jenks said, eyeing my face with a wary smile.

I did not return the gesture. "Thank you," I murmured finally and moved away.

Truth be told, the expression of gratitude made me uncomfortable. It was not prudent to leave Jenks to dwell on this newfound vulnerability without some heavier thought to distract him from it. I sighed, pausing at the door and slightly turning my head in the pasty human's direction. "Oh, and Jenks?"

"Yes, Mr. Jasper?"

I flashed behind him, putting my hands on his bowed shoulders and my lips to his ear, paralyzing him in a wave of crippling fear. With one quickly whispered reminder of my expectations and the consequences of failing to meet them, I pulled away and regained my wide, careful smile. "Oh, and congratulations to Mary on her acceptance into Duke University. I'm sure we're both excited to see her accomplishments continue."

I heard his heart quicken to an unhealthy degree, and his throat struggled to swallow enough air to satisfy the faltering organ. It said something for just how reprehensible I found the doughy excuse for a human being that not a drop more venom wet my mouth than usual. I could smell the urine trail down his leg even before the dark stain appeared on his expensive trousers, and could not quite stop the demon within me from bearing his fangs in a satisfied smile. With the room blanketed in a suffocating level of terror, Jenks managed to wet his lips and try for something that might be a nod.

"Until our next date, Mr. Jenks," I murmured pleasantly, trailing one last faint vain of terror as I quietly exited the room.

Without a word to the receptionist, I grabbed the directions from her well-manicured fingers, replaced my coat and hat, and escaped the building as quickly as I was able. I glanced at my watch, cursing myself for ever leaving. It was already past five. I had already wasted most of the day.

A petty, inexcusable part of me wanted to push the blame away from myself._ Why hadn't she said something?! Why had she let me go? _The questions were answered just as quickly as they floated across my mind: _Why did you need her to tell you? She told you that you would regret this! Why didn't _you_ listen…?!_

I forced away the disparaging thoughts just long enough to find the small flower shop. It was mercifully close by, and I walked up to the counter without bothering to glance at the selection.

"May I help—?"

"I need a bouquet of twelve white roses and however many stems of lily of the valley you deem appropriate to make it look tasteful," I said, throwing down a small stack of bills without bothering to review their contents. "The absolute freshest you have, and quickly, please."

The florist simply gaped at me for a moment, and—with a slight shake of her head—turned to fill my request. "Would you like pink or white lilies?"

"White." They had to be white. Her wedding gown had been covered in the whitest, brightest—I flinched away from the thought, and the self-deprecation began anew.

I watched her search the selection and carefully bind one flawless rose after another together, pausing only when it came time to surround them with the lilies' delicate, bell-like buds. "Are you certain you want to add as many stems of lilies as it takes to fill out such a large bouquet? They're out of season now, and even a single stem is priced at—"

"I don't expect change," I murmured, waving my hands toward the stack of bills still resting on the countertop. "Add as many as you like."

The woman complied without another word, binding the explosion of white flowers together with a cord of lace and plastic wrapping. She had barely finished the arrangement when I took them from her and, with a brief word of thanks, was out the door.

I kept the flowers shielded behind my back, and ran home as fast as I dared in the wake of my delicate cargo. My chest still throbbed with shame. All that time wasted…! Alice had every right to be livid. How could I have forgotten something so important? How could I let Edward rile me to _that_ degree of madness? The vivid bundle in my hands seemed to only accuse me further.

With luck, I could at least get home before sundown…

I raced against the setting sun, battering myself with any and every insult I could think of as the minutes ticked by. Minutes away from Alice on a day I had devoted to her for over half a century…

I cringed at the thought and recommenced my long stream of curses.

Alice was waiting for me on the porch, her arms already open to receive my hastily purchased expression of guilt. I silently knelt to give her the bouquet, taking in the lovely, creamy texture the bright petals cast on her skin with another explosion of shame. I wanted her to throw the flowers back in my face, to curse me, to tell me that I did not deserve her love. Tonight, I wanted her to deny. Her radiant smile and the soft, gentle glow of happiness that warmed the air around her were far worse than a punishment.

I could not match her. I could _never_ match her.

Unable to meet her affectionate gaze, I lowered my eyes to the ground and waited for the flames of hell to engulf me.

"Lily of the valley," she said softly, nestling her face amongst the delicate buds and taking in their scent with a pleased sigh.

"You wore them on our wedding day," I murmured.

"And you've bought them for me every year since," she said with a laugh, tossing off my coat and pinning one of the roses to my lapel.

My fingers jerked toward her almost involuntarily, and, for only a moment, I collapsed her hand against my stone heart. "I am so sorry, Alice."

"Don't be. I've already forgiven you," she said, pulling me into the kitchen with a teasing smile. Her graceful movements called attention to the plain cotton dress she wore, and I could not help but notice how well the color coincided with my apology present. It would be just like Alice to dress to match her gift.

"How?" I asked before I could stop myself. "How can you forgive me when all I have been doing lately is disappointing you?"

No matter what Alice might say, it was impossible for me to believe that she could forgive me when I could not muster the resources to forgive myself. With the exception of our wedding, the day I had secured her promise to be with me for all eternity was the happiest day of my existence. I ripped my eyes away from her again, uncertain as to whether I should devote my attention to her for the remainder of the evening, or grant her a reprieve from my presence altogether.

"Don't you dare leave this room, Jasper," she warned, depositing the flowers into a crystal vase. Any thoughts of running were immediately silenced, much to my love's satisfaction as she continued to play around with the ivory buds.

When she was at last content with their arrangement, she turned back to face me. "You really want to know how?"

I nodded and at last managed to pull my eyes up to meet hers. "Very much so."

"Well, a _part_ of it is actually the fact that you don't want me to," she admitted with a grin. "I know it kills you when I don't act like a bully whenever you want to be picked on."

"I see…" For some reason, the idea that her good mood was a punishment of sort was slightly uplifting. "And the other part?"

Alice smiled and teased two of her fingers into my mouth, pulling the edges into a cartoonish smile. "Isn't it obvious? My forgiving you so easily means you owe me an _amazing_ present for our anniversary!"

I chuckled despite myself, surprised that I had not lost the ability to laugh altogether. "So it's blackmail, then?"

She flashed her tiny red tongue at me and gave a tinkling laugh. "It's not blackmail if I genuinely deserve an extra special something. Do you know how many years I've been Mrs. Whitlock?"

"It will be fifty-five this year," I said softly. She had tattooed her presence too deeply into my being for me to ever lose count of our years together. Each and every one stood out, like fifty-five long, vibrant sunrises in my otherwise dark existence. Without a word, I scooped up her tiny frame and carried her to our bedroom, gently depositing her on the couch.

She giggled with delight and quickly pulled me down beside her, resting her head against my shoulder with a pleased little hum. "That's right…fifty-five years," she said, nodding with her head still against my arm. "And I deserve something that is the very embodiment of all those years of happiness, don't you agree?"

I pulled her tighter against me and smiled, "Don't be ridiculous. If that's how we've decided to start measuring gifts, then _I _should be the one getting something extra special." Still, the words came out hollow, and my smile disappeared in an instant. How could I even joke with her about something like that? She _was _my happiness, and I had allowed myself to be so consumed with resentment that I had failed to grant her this one special day with me... It was a wonder she even still desired it. "I truly am sorry, Alice."

She shook her head and happily wrapped her fingers around my arm. "There's nothing to forgive, Jazz. You just can't keep letting your anger keep getting the best of you. I know you're stronger than that."

"I won't disappoint you again," I vowed.

She pulled my head down to her height and quickly pecked me on the cheek. "And that statement includes any future anniversary presents, right?"

I chuckled softly, carefully running my nose down her chin and along the curve of her jaw. "We'll see," I murmured as I reached her ear.

"_I_ most certainly will," she said with a smug smile, giggling as I stopped my path down her neck just long enough to press my lips against her collar bone.

With a sigh, I brought my face back up to meet hers. "That's cheating, you know."

Her grin widened further, and she happily walked her fingers along the bridge of my nose. "Well, maybe you should just tell me then, so I won't have to go snooping."

I groaned and leaned back on the couch, my frustration all but forgotten as Alice gathered herself into my lap. In truth, I had no idea what to get her. It would be our fifty-fifth wedding anniversary, and, assuming I followed convention, that was the emerald anniversary. My mind flashed to everything from a commemorative ring to a gown studded with a shower of emerald of jewels. I felt Alice freeze against me and immediately disregarded both notions. So long as Alice was watching, I could not be allowed to make a decision. Besides, Alice was not the type to wear rings, and she had long ago forbidden me from ever attempting to buy her what I considered to be "suitable clothing."

More importantly, I wanted to surprise her, which could only work if… My mind buzzed along the fringes of an idea, not settling out of fear of somehow botching a plan that was still only loose at best.

I glanced down to see Alice frowning, her expression intent as she puzzled through my most recent series of decisions. "You're going to buy me a…blindfold?" she asked, baffled.

I smiled, wrapping my arms around the thin fabric at her waist and pulling her closer to me. "Can't you at least _try_ to be surprised? Please?"

"Nope. I _deserve _to know. And besides, you know how I feel about surpri—" she cut off immediately, her lips frozen in place as a wave of absolute terror washed over her. Her nails dug deep into my pant legs, and her eyes rapidly darted from one side of the room to the other.

"Alice? Alice?!" I murmured urgently, my own body shaking in the wake of her inexplicable fear. "Alice? What's the matter? _Alice!_"

She snapped out of her vision and immediately disappeared to her bureau, snatching up her cell phone and quickly punching in a number. "Pick up, pick up, pick up!" she murmured, hysterical. "Don't you dare not answer me, Edward!"

I joined her immediately, trying desperately to keep control of myself. What had she seen? What was wrong with Edward? Did it somehow involve Peter and Charlotte? Could they have changed their travels plans and ended up in an altercation with him? It seemed incredibly unlikely, but Alice's panic made it clear that something horrible had happened. I placed my hands atop her bare shoulders and squeezed gently, though I could not tell if it was for her sake or mine.

Her phone call went unanswered, however, and she desperately stared ahead, her body relaxing slightly but her emotions still deeply shaken.

"Alice, _please_ speak to me," I begged, her fear ripping me apart. I emanated all the calm I could manage in the wake of her panic, and she seemed to relax marginally. "What happened? Is everyone all right?"

"Bella…" she said at last, looking at me with wide, panic-stricken eyes.

I tried to fight off my disappointment. Must Isabella Swan manage to taint today further than I had already? Still, I tried to muster some concern. "Is she safe?"

"Yes…barely," she whispered, her eyes still trapped in a world I could not see. "Edward got to her in time, so now…_Oh!_"

Her mood abruptly shifted and, with a startled laugh, she turned to look at me with a glorious smile on her face. I returned the gesture, utterly baffled as she granted me a long, happy kiss. I could only assume her enthusiastic reaction was a result of the girl's safety, and I was suddenly more than happy to help her celebrate.

"Oh, Jazz…" she repeated, gently putting her hand to my cheek as she struggled between Bella's newest run-in with danger and whatever had pulled her from harm's way. "I almost didn't see it… She almost…"

"Was it another accident?" I asked quietly.

"No_, this_ was intentional." She shivered with rage, "Some humans really are monstrous!"

"I see." I did not need to inquire further. Some humans could make even immortal blood-drinkers look like saints. "Did Bella see Edward take care of them?"

"No, no. He didn't hurt them. He…stayed with her." A glimmer of her spectacular smile returned.

"He let them live?" I asked, surprised.

"He did. He stayed with Bella." Alice was aglow with satisfaction.

"That was quite…chivalrous of him. Would you like me to take care of the refuse he left behind?" I asked. The prospect was actually a little exciting. It was not often that I was given an opportunity to direct my bloodlust toward someone who deserved it.

"Hm? No, I don't think so. Actually, I think…" She gave me an apologetic frown. "Will you get all surly again if I go speak to Carlisle for just a little bit?"

I raised an eyebrow. Carlisle was going to handle this? That was impossible to imagine. "Hurry back," I said, sprawling myself out atop the sofa.

"Always do," she said, disappearing from view with one last smile.

I concentrated on the makeshift boutonniere Alice had pinned to my jacket until I heard Carlisle permit her into his study. Satisfied that she was too lost in Bella's affairs, I let my mind scour back over the subject of her anniversary present.

It was true that she would be able to see the outcome of whatever decision I made on the subject, but _only_ as soon as I made the decision. I went over string after string of possibilities, attempting to uncover some way I might be able to surprise her. After fifty-four years of her mental spying, I was willing to do anything that might light her face with a moment of surprise. The idea of a traditional, emerald-themed anniversary present appealed to me, but I could not allow myself to decide on exactly what I wanted the piece to look like.

My eyes settled on the large brand name displayed across one of the few shopping bags that she had not ripped open, and I felt a sudden jolt of inspiration. If I were to keep my qualifications vague enough and solicit multiple high-profile jewelry designers, it might be possible to pick her gift without making any final decision on which to get her until the very last minute. Even better, the chaos of so many different decisions being made relating to so many potential pieces of jewelry might keep her just distracted enough to lose hold on the exact specifications of her present, if nothing else.

I was grinning when Alice returned to me with her arms crossed over her chest in a defiant pout. "You're not going to be able to trick me, you know."

"I'm not trying to trick you," I assured her, stretching myself more comfortably along the couch.

"Fine. You won't _surprise_ me, then," she quipped, throwing herself roughly atop my chest.

I laughed at the indignant curl of her lips as she dug her sharp little elbows into my ribcage. "Then why are you acting so sour?"

"Do you know how many variations there could be if all you ask for is an 'emerald bracelet?'" she demanded. "It's not fair."

"Not fair? How so?"

"Well, what if I see one I really, _really_ like, and you don't pick it?" she said with a sulky frown, sticking her lip out a fraction farther in protest.

"I suppose you'll just have to seek comfort in the knowledge that it comes with my heart," I murmured, gently fingering one of her short locks.

Her eyes melted with golden pleasure for only the briefest instant, and she soon recovered her teasing pout. "I would still prefer it if your heart knew how to properly accessorize."

I grinned and quickly pulled her forehead to my lips. "You are remarkably wicked sometimes, Mrs. Whitlock."

Alice was completely unrepentant. "I just think it's important for you to understand the consequences of trying to keep _secrets._" She said the last word as though it were a particularly vicious curse.

"Alice, I give you my word that nothing will touch either wrist without your approval. _If_ you get a bracelet, at any rate."

I started to consider other pieces of jewelry with a smile, and Alice gave me a hard poke in the ribs before gracefully drawing herself up from my chest. I laughed and reached for her hand, but she pulled it away from me with an injured frown. "Oh, no! You can be difficult by yourself. _I'm_ going to go wait for Edward!"

Even with the knowledge that she was joking—it was obvious from the moment she said Bella's name that she would need to speak to Edward—I could not help but feel a small streak of proprietary jealousy. "Very well," I said softly, barely managing my smile. "Hurry back, and I promise to be good."

Alice was practically crowing with satisfaction. "You won't interfere with my visions?"

"I don't recall saying _that._"

With a playful hiss of distaste, Alice made a quick face at me and was out the door, muttering something about my making everything a "silly little contest."

For the second time that evening, I found myself laying on the sofa and waiting for my turn with her. It was wrong to begrudge her desertions after my afternoon in Seattle, but I could not keep the jagged teeth of betrayal from ripping into my chest. I did not want to blame myself for the paltry amount of time we had spent with one another, and it seemed foolish to try and pin the blame on Edward or Isabella. All in all, Edward's behavior seemed exemplary. Judging from what little Alice had told me, he had even refrained from attacking Bella's assaulter. While that still did not excuse his treatment of Peter and Charlotte, the knowledge that he was at least guarding our secret more carefully was a small thread of compensation.

My thoughts stumbled to a halt as I caught Alice's cheerful voice floating in from outside. I had been so intent on not blaming Edward that I had failed to notice the soft purr of his Volvo's engine as he pulled up the driveway. Unable to ignore the wind chime tones of Alice's voice, I listened more carefully.

After all, I reasoned, it did not seem fair for her to demand omniscience and then keep secrets herself.

"Carlisle's in the study," she told Edward in greeting.

"Thank you," he said lightly, his voice betraying a surprisingly agreeable mood. I heard the soft rustle of a hand running through Alice's styled hair and fought the unexpected wave of longing the casual gesture sent pulsing through me. Did he realize what a privilege it was to touch her like that? To even be allowed to _look _at her? I felt a wild urge to join them—to let _my_ hand rest in her hair.

But no, I was already damaging my integrity simply by listening. I would not intrude further.

"Oh," Edward said suddenly, his voice colored with slight irritation. "Sorry. I didn't even check to see who it was. I was…busy."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, too. By the time I saw what was going to happen, you were on your way."

"It was close," he murmured gravely.

I could feel her shame even from a distance, and instinctively straightened in my seat. He was going to blame _Alice_ for his human's bad luck? It was unforgivable. Wholly unforgivable!

My anger was cooled by his easy response to Alice's answering sorrow. "Don't be. I know you can't catch everything. No one expects you to be omniscient, Alice."

"No one but she herself," I murmured aloud, my mind briefly going back to her anniversary present. I could not fathom why she would go out of her way to make it difficult to surprise her. Wasn't the point of a gift like that to be surprised?

"I almost asked you out to dinner tonight—did you catch that before I changed my mind?" Edward asked, his good mood escalating.

I felt her delight and shuddered at my own stupidity. If I had any sense at all, I would have taken her somewhere special. And instead, after over half a century together, I had shirked my responsibilities to her in exchange for a "date" with Jason Jenks…

"No, I missed that one, too. Wish I'd known. I would have come." I felt a horrible tightness in my throat, and could not quite fight off my own petty jealousy. She would really have gone with Edward? Would she have wanted me there? Would I have gone if she had asked?

I thought of the lovely, creamy texture of her skin as she held the snowy bouquet of lilies and roses against her face. I thought of her vibrant smile as she welcomed me home. I thought of the wonderful peace that overwhelmed me from the moment she nestled herself into my arms… There was no question that I would have accompanied her to Port Angeles. There was not a human living or dead that could keep me away from her.

"What were you concentrating on, that you missed so much?" Edward asked.

I heard her twinkling laughter and managed my own wry smile. Of all the things that might distract her, it was her anniversary present that had managed to push even Bella out of her mind.

Edward echoed my thoughts perfectly: "You're shameless."

"Yep," she agreed, her voice utterly guiltless.

I felt a sudden shift in Alice's mood, and traces of an emotion that was very nearly accusatory. Her reaction puzzled me, as it often did when I listened in on her and Edward's bizarre conversations. Had she been keeping part of her vision from me? It seemed likely.

Whatever the topic of her thoughts, Edward sighed in response. "Yes. Later."

I scanned my brain for any possible explanations. Could all this still have something to do with Carlisle? It did not seem as though Alice disapproved of Edward's more peaceable actions before, but perhaps he had responded more violently later? I fought back an agitated groan. As much as I hated spying, I hated doing it inadequately even more.

Frustrated by the cryptic conversation between my psychic and the brooding telepath, I paced aimlessly down the length of the room, pausing occasionally to pick up whatever loose articles Alice had left laying about the floor. It was difficult to be in this room without her, even if it was _our_ bedroom. Her presence permeated in everything from the furniture to the carpeting. There was no place for me here without her.

"Anyway, you'll be with her soon enough."

I paused at the casual statement, smiling slightly as it both abated my restlessness and assured me that their conversation was coming to a close. Edward seemed to share my excitement—if for a different reason—and I caught his deep, pleased intake of breath.

I could hear Alice's smile in her voice. "Go on—get this done so you can be where you want to be."

I heard him ascend the stairs in an instant and quickly make his way to Carlisle's room. In seconds, Alice returned to me, and both Carlisle and my enigmatic brother disappeared from my mind. She stood before me with a pleased smile, the straps of her breezy cotton garment ever so slightly falling from her shoulders. Every part of my being wanted to pull her against me, but I did not move. She was here.

For me.

Alice's eyes were warm with pleasure. "Missing me already?"

"Always," I said immediately, unable to take my eyes off her or move even a single step closer. My fingers burned with the desire to slide along her skin, but I could not bring myself to succumb to the longing. Somehow, suffering this way made me feel I deserved her more. With a careful smile, I managed to find my voice. "What does Edward plan to say to Carlisle?"

She shrugged, her good mood fading slightly in the wake of such a heavy subject. "He wants to go back to Port Angeles and give those monsters what they deserve."

That much I understood, but I could not understand why he would need to confer with our peace-loving father figure before exacting his vengeance. "Is that really…wise?" I asked. "Even if Bella's life was a risk, he can't honestly expect _Carlisle_ to approve of destroying them."

"He's not planning to kill them, Jazz," Alice said with a laugh.

"No…?"

"No," Alice said, smiling at my confusion. "He's just going to give the police a good opportunity to handle it."

I could not fathom this line of action. "You mean to tell me, after they tried to hurt Bella he's going to let them _live?_"

"Oh, Jasper!" she cried, shaking her head at my ignorance. "Don't you see? It's _because_ of Bella that he's _not_ killing them. He's trying to be good for her."

"He's being…good?" The uncomfortable tightness in my throat welled up once more. The idea of trusting someone else to exact vengeance—particularly through the labyrinthine processes of the American justice system—bothered me. Should someone have ever tried to hurt Alice, I would not be capable of "being good" for her.

Alice noted my sudden silence and at last breached the gap between us. "What's wrong?" she asked, her slender fingers lacing into mine.

I heard the soft trample of footsteps as Edward and Carlisle left together, and still could not comprehend the method behind their madness. I understood that "murder" was never acceptable, but was it still murder if the victim was nothing but a stain on the human race to start with? Justifiable homicides have gone on throughout history. What made any of those more justified than protecting someone important to you…?

With a long sigh, I gently moved Alice's fingers from my hands and onto my neck. "Forgive me, Alice, but I don't think I am capable of being 'good' for you. Not in a situation like that." My expression darkened, "_Especially_ in a situation like that."

Alice giggled and pulled my face down to meet hers, smoothing my rumpled nerves with her naturally sunny disposition. "That's all right," she said softly. "I knew that when you gave me that ring fifty-five years ago."

"And you're still going forgive me for it?" I murmured, leaning so close that our foreheads touched.

"That depends," Alice said with a mischievous smile. "Would you stop trying to hide my present from yourself if I said I wouldn't?"

I tore my face away from her, unsure whether I should act more appalled or amused. "You little imp!"

"_Your_ little imp," she corrected, her grin growing as she wrapped her arms tighter around me.

Unable and unwilling to fight against the gentle waves of contentment she poured into me, I closed my eyes and placed my lips against hers. For the moment, all of my shame and insecurities were forgotten.

Alice was with me. Alice _wanted _to be with me.

What did it matter what anyone else did? We were together, and the night was still young.

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_P.S. Your reviews are AMAZING! Please continue. (And yes, I did stick an Atlas Shrugged reference in there somewhere. Forgive me, AR.)_


	13. Betrayal

_AN: Yes, I know this took me a thousand years. I apologize for the delay. Thankfully, Chapter 14 is already being written, so hopefully you will see it very soon. Unfortunately, for the sake of time, this chapter has not been looked over by anyone else, so hopefully rameau won't cringe too much after reading this… (I will do better next time!) In other news, I find it important to mention beforehand that some of you may not approve of the way Jasper responds to Alice in this chapter. It's fine to have a problem with my portrayal and you're welcome to say so, but I thought it important to show that he does not necessarily see "love" as synonymous with never getting into arguments, and the ways withholding information from the rest of the family and making selfish decisions actually affected the others._

_This chapter is dedicated to __**pinklady94**__. Thank you very much for the wonderful ideas!_

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**CHAPTER 13: BETRAYAL**

"It's morning," Alice whispered softly, lifting her head from my chest.

"Don't go," I ordered softly, tightening my hold on her waist, unwillingly to allow the feel of her skin to leave mine. "Just a few moments longer."

"Well, aren't you bossy?" she asked, her eyebrows arched in mock outrage. But her face soon relaxed into a smile, and she gently kissed my nose before returning her head to its place against my dead heart.

I did not answer her. It almost seemed an insult to speak with the feeling of her hair and lips against my chest filling my head with warm thoughts of black silk and rose-colored marble. Slowly, I relaxed the tightness of my arms and allowed my fingers to slide off her waist and crawl along her bare back, reveling in the texture of her skin and the gentle ridges of her spine as I made my ascent to the smooth curve of her shoulder. She closed her eyes with a content sigh, one hand gripping my back and the other gently twisting through my bangs.

I could not recall precisely when in the course of the evening we had ended up sprawled across the floor of our bedroom with most of our clothing still littering the sofa, but it felt at once like an instant and an eternity. It was difficult to make sense of the plain white sheet of a dress that within arm's reach. Without Alice's delicate figure to give it form—to stress the multiplicity of textures that came from running my hands along thin fabric stretched tight against flawless flesh—it was hard to imagine that it was even the same garment as last night.

In fact, something about the cloudy light that poured in from the window made everything about last night take on the fantastic quality of a dream. It had been quite some time since our relationship had taken on this level of physicality, and yet my yearning for her—my _need_ for her—seemed to have been leading to this moment for weeks. It was as if the less control I exercised, and the more physical violence I allowed myself, the more I lusted after her.

With a disgusted shiver, I pressed her against me with renewed force. While I may have unchained my inner monster in Jenks' presence, the thought of that same beast affecting my relationship with Alice—the very idea that a part of me might ache for conquest more than love—was sickening.

Alice felt the urgency of my grip and looked up at me with troubled eyes, her face awash with concern. "Jazz? What's wrong?"

I did not know how to begin, especially not with her fairy features made so soft by the tenderness she exuded. I stared at her crumbled dress instead, willing myself to speak. "If you thought that I…that is, did you think, or feel, or…or _know _that I…I was…"

"That you were…what?" Alice asked, genuinely baffled by my hesitation.

I forced my eyes to meet hers. "Promise me that you would never let me…be with you…if you thought my intentions were…ignoble."

"Ignoble?" Her face clouded for a moment as she studied my face more carefully. It took everything I had to continue to meet her gaze, to watch her process the vague admittance of my weakness. Then, with her face clearing in a certain burst of understanding, she pressed her lips to my neck and laughed at my surprise.

"Please, Alice…" I began, disturbed that she was not taking my request seriously.

"_Please, Jazz,_" she returned, lowering the pitch of her voice to a passable impression of my own. "I know you have something of a complex when it comes to being a gentleman, but must you _always _ruin the mood by being so repentant?"

"It's not repentance without reason," I insisted, my mood darkening. "If I were to ever…to ever _use_ you that way…I wouldn't be able to live with myself, Alice! It would be something beyond your ability to forgive."

She sighed and stubbornly made a motion to sit up. This time I did not attempt to hold her to me, though my hands refused to leave her body. "Jasper Whitlock," she began slowly, her slender form gently silhouetted against the dim light of the window, "has it ever occurred to you that _maybe_ you're not the only one who sometimes wants something more than kisses?"

"Of course, it does. But that doesn't mean I can just—"

"You never will," she assured me, her voice leaving no room for argument.

"You should know better than to say 'never,'" I said bitterly. "The future is a fickle thing. Had you told me even a week ago that I could get so consumed with revenge that I might forget the date of one of the most important days of my li—my _existence—_I would have called you mad."

Alice sighed heavily, her exasperation growing. "The sort of thing you're talking about would require the future to shift completely beyond recognition, Jazz."

"Alice," I murmured, carefully running the back of my hand along the soft line of her cheek and ever so slightly brushing the ends of my fingers against her lips. Another tremor worked its way through me as I was struck again by how wholly dependent I was on this slip of a woman. I carefully met her eyes and waited for her emotions to soften before continuing, my voice barely a whisper. "You know I only ask because you are everything to me, love."

Alice paused for only a moment, and I tightened the muscles in arms and jaw as I fought the urge to push her back against me. There was not a single cell in my body that was not willing—_wanting_—to throw itself away to suit even her most trivial of fancies. But she asked for nothing. With a small, pleased smile she simply gathered up the hand I had resting against her face in her own small palms, and held it tightly against her still heart.

It had been nearly half a year since I had last called her by a pet name or told her in so many words that I loved her. Not because it was untrue, and certainly not because I thought it too weak a sentiment, but because I did not ever want the words to lose their significance and become habit. The day I no longer felt Alice pause—the day I no longer felt that trill of satisfaction and her quiet, immediate emotional assurance that the sentiment was reciprocated—would be the day I had rendered the word "love" meaningless.

So, with the exception of those rare moments when words proved themselves almost as effective as action, I had dedicated my existence to expressing my adoration through deed for as long as we were bound to one another. The look on her face when I had first told her—and the slow, quiet joy that reverberated from her as a silent reminder that it was the only time she could ever remember hearing it—had seared me to her side for all eternity.

"Fine," she said at last, her eyes still soft. "If that impossible day ever comes, I promise to save you from yourself."

"That's all I ask."

She smiled and laid with me awhile longer, singing softly in her high, cherubic voice. I hummed along vaguely, my eyes closed as she nestled more securely against me. A half-hour passed in the blink of eye, and, with a slow sigh, Alice made a motion to get up. I kept my arm around her to secure her body to mine, but she shook her head with a reluctant smile.

"Edward will be on his way soon. He'll need to talk to me."

"Then let him come to you. I'd like to see him try and take you from me," I said with a teasing growl, reluctantly loosened my hold on her.

She laughed and quickly tousled my hair before disentangling herself from me and moving to the closet. I stayed where I was, resting my head against the carpet and watching her waltz from one piece of clothing to another, all the while singing softly to herself. She paused for a moment longer than usual at a cream-colored skirt and I urgently shook my head.

"Don't wear white."

"Oh? It's not like you to try and dictate what I wear."

"You think I'm joking, but I don't need the extra temptation to drag you back over here," I warned, grabbing the dress from the couch and shaking it in her direction.

She laughed and put the skirt away, tossing a bundle of clothes at me as she moved through the rest of the closet.

With a sigh, I dressed and prepared for reality, wondering for the umpteenth time why any of us felt the need to go to public school.

Alice noticed my reluctance and quickly hopped up to me—conceding to my demands and wearing a black turtleneck and dark jeans—for one last quick peck across the cheek. "It's not for forever, you know."

"You're not allowed to talk about 'forever,'" I teased, accepting her hand and quickly escorting her down the steps.

She smiled and made herself comfortable on the couch, her schoolbag in her lap and made a motion for me to join her.

I shook my head slowly, my eyes glued to her bag. I had not hunted in a few days, and I could not shake the memory of my bloodlust in the midst of that crowded room of foolish young faces. "I had better go for a quick hunt first."

Alice understood immediately. "Don't take too long."

"Don't worry. I'll stay close," I promised, managing a slight smile. With one last look at her, I disappeared out the door, careful to keep within easy distance to the house.

While I knew that I would have to satisfy myself with whatever was nearby, I could not help but wrinkle my nose with disgust as the unsatisfying taste of rabbit and squirrel hit my tongue. In a stroke of good fortune, I managed to smell out a fox, but the rest of the property was woefully empty of any larger game. Still, I continued to drink until the fire roaring in my throat was nothing more than a vague itch, and quickly made my way back to the house only to find that Edward had already arrived. Unwilling to speak to him at the risk of losing my newfound favorable opinion, I hung back in the kitchen, content to watch him watch television.

He waited, absolutely silent and with his body tensed as a weather report and a short summary of the usual tragedies befalling the world were unsympathetically summed up by the anchorman. Curious, I felt for any special reaction to the stories, finding nothing until a grainy mug shot appeared on screen and he released a sudden, white-hot flash of rage.

The anchor simply adjusted his papers and continued to stare dully into the camera, oblivious to the reaction the photo had induced in at least one of his viewers. "Alonzo Calderas Wallace, suspected serial rapist and murderer wanted in the states of Texas and Oklahoma, was apprehended last night in Portland, Oregon thanks to an anonymous tip. Wallace was found unconscious in an alley early this morning, just a few yards from a police station. Officials are unable to tell us at this time whether he will be extradited to Houston or Oklahoma City to stand trial."

I looked at the bearded man shown in the photo for a second longer, until the news moved on to talk about a draught in Texas. _Alonzo Calderas Wallace, suspected serial rapist and murderer…_ That was what Edward had saved her from. I felt a deep, violent stab of approval that warmed into something like rage. Being accidentally run over was one thing, but even I could not abide allowing a woman to be violated and thrown away if there was something I could do to stop it. For once, I felt genuinely happy with my brother's actions. I was pleased that he had handled it, and even more so that he had the decency to avoid playing superman in front of the girl a second time.

For the first time since he became entangled with the Isabella Swan, I felt that we were on the same side.

Alice put a comforting hand on Edward's back, the motion immediately freeing me of any other thought. "The coverage here in town will be light. It's too far away to be considered local interest. It was a good call to have Carlisle take him out of state."

He merely nodded, distracted, his rage still simmering. It was understandable. Had someone tried to ravage Alice—I stopped the thought and, with more difficulty, the roar of protest building in my throat. They would have had to die. By my hand. I would not have been able to rest until they had experienced more suffering than they had ever imagined possible.

Edward seemed preoccupied as he stood up, an uncomfortable aura encompassing him as he turned to Alice. "Alice, do you mind—"

"Rosalie will drive. She'll act pissed, but you know she'll enjoy the excuse to show off her car," Alice giggled.

He grinned. "See you at school."

She gave a wistful sigh, and his grin quickly evaporated, though his grimace softened to something like bewilderment as he flashed back out the door.

"What did you to say to him?" I asked, waiting until his exit to join on her on the couch.

"Just reminded him that Bella will want to be _my_ friend, too," she said, smiling with self-satisfaction.

"Always searching for new methods of getting your way, I see," I murmured.

She just laughed, growing more pleased with each passing second.

I was silent, my own thoughts growing conflicted. Whether Edward had been winning my approval recently or not, it did not seem intelligent for him to continue to tempt fate with his ever increasing time with human girl. "Is it really all right for them to continue to be alone together like that?"

"He'll be fine. Besides, none of us has managed to keep him from following her around school or watching her at night. It seems to send the wrong message to draw the line at him _asking_ her if she would like a ride."

"Perhaps. But maybe forcing Edward to show some coldness towards her would do them both some good."

Alice disagreed. "Don't give him any ideas. I'm _this_ close to her, Jasper!"

I shook my head and remained silent, clearly out of my element. I was not sure how to balance my uneasiness in the wake of their relationship and Alice's happiness.

Alice was blissfully unaware of my inner turmoil, however, and happily called for Rosalie.

My sister appeared almost immediately, Emmett only seconds behind, though her expression was just as sour as ever. She scanned the room with angry, roving eyes and quickly sniffed the air. "Oh, did Edward decide to honor us with his presence again?"

"Only for a minute or two," Alice said, ignoring the icy sarcasm in Rosalie's voice. "He just wanted to make sure we could find our own transportation if he took the Volvo for the day."

Rosalie cursed, her lips parting to bear her perfect, deadly teeth. I shifted slightly closer to her, filling the room with as much calm as I could muster.

"We won't let him make a habit of it, Rosalie," I said softly, recognizing the lie in my words before they ever escaped my mouth. There was not a damn thing any of us could do about Edward, least of all when he was technically behaving himself.

She ignored me, letting out a long, low stream of foul and descriptive names for our missing brother as she led the way to the garage, her expression darkening as she glanced to the empty spot the Volvo usually occupied.

"I don't understand why we're all suddenly helping him along with his sick little hobby anyway," she muttered, flicking the cover off her gleaming red convertible and racking her nails gently against the hood. "If he wants to take her out, why doesn't he just take her sad excuse for a truck?"

"If you feel too morally opposed to drive us, I'm sure Emmett wouldn't mind driving us in his Jeep," Alice said sweetly, giving me a swift wink.

Without another word—but with a particularly vicious hiss—Rosalie ripped open the driver's side door and wrapped her hands around the steering wheel.

"Get in," she snarled, avoiding Alice's mocking eyes.

We raced to school in silence, even Emmett quiet in the wake of her rage.

Rosalie's furious speeding got us to school early, but not nearly early enough to avoid the humans' gaping stares as they spotted my twin emerge from the flashy vehicle with a quick flick of her long sheet of hair. I quietly helped Alice hop from the backseat as Rosalie slowed her step to revel in their appreciation, and Emmett snickered as he took his place at her arm.

"Looks like there's at least one thing about Edward's crush that benefits you after all, eh Rose?"

With a swift backward step, Rosalie stamped her pointed stiletto deep into Emmett's sneaker, her soft, satisfied smile widening as he bellowed a loud curse and chased after her.

Alice and I watched the exchange with a unanimous shake of our heads and, after accompanying her to her first class and whispering a quick goodbye, I made my way to History.

From the very beginning of class, something seemed…off.

Most of the girls approached me with an undisguised wave of concern, and Miss Williams gently touched my shoulder as I walked by her desk. I froze in place, unsure of how to move away from the unwanted physical contact without seeming rude.

"Are you all right, dear?" she asked seriously, peering carefully into my eyes. I could hear her heart accelerating wildly in her chest and, for some reason I could not begin to fathom, her cheeks colored and she quickly moved her hand away.

"I'm doing well, ma'am," I began cautiously, subtly shifting myself in the direction of my desk. "Why do you ask?"

"One of my students told me about your attack in Mr. Fowler's class last week. Everyone was very worried about you." She motioned toward my usual seat and I was surprised to find it littered with construction paper. Apparently she had coerced the entire class into making me "Get Well Soon" cards.

I stared at the sloppy, glitter-covered pieces of paper for a long moment, wondering if there was any way to smuggle them into a garbage can without any of the class noticing. Normally I would just pile them into my backpack and wait until I got home, but the thought of shaking all the glitter from it later was not very appealing. It would probably be easier to just carry my books for the rest of the day and dispose of the schoolbag altogether.

Miss Williams cleared her throat suggestively, drawing me away from my plans. "Would you like to thank the class, Jasper?"

I turned to face the rest of the class with an uncomfortable attempt at a smile, careful not to show any of my teeth.

"Thank you," I managed, my voice slightly mechanical. "I…honestly don't know what to say."

The rest of the class murmured their sympathetic responses, most of the girls staring at me with a welling of emotion that would have more appropriately been reserved for an invalid. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Emmett shaking, part of his fist shoved against his mouth to keep from exploding with audible laughter. I quickly resumed my seat and, after casually removing everything else from my bag, hid the cards in my bag.

From there, class continued relatively normally, only occasionally interrupted by a few whispered explanations, all from females, that they had already explained my "situation" to the teachers in my other classes.

I tried not to grimace at the prospect of receiving more condolences, and Emmett's barely concealed mirth was not helping matters. My only saving grace was that I had hunted this morning, and was not likely to make a fool of myself a second time.

By the time my brother and I exited our first class and were making our way to math—he to Calculus and I to Statistics—I was less than pleased to find that I was not the only member of the Cullen brood being gossiped about. While most of the seniors were glancing at me as though I was about the collapse at any moment, the juniors and underclassmen were deeply engrossed in their own whispers about Edward Cullen driving Bella Swan to school this morning.

"I just don't see what he sees in _her_, anyway," one girl murmured to another, jealousy blazing around her. "I mean, I guess she's sort ofcute, but the way all these guys are chasing after her you'd think was something a little more…_special._"

"If you ask me, he's only hanging around her because Tyler and Mike are making fools of themselves. He wouldn't care unless he was sure someone else wanted her. Otherwise the Cullens are too good to bother with _regular_ people," the girl's friend let out an injured sniff, clearly dealing with a rejection of her own.

"I hear it's not just Tyler and Mike, either. Eric has a thing for her, and Lauren was telling me that she was even caught flirting with some guy on the reservation."

My vague eavesdropping became more focused at the word "reservation." Bella had been to La Push? I had remembered her friends saying something about a trip some time ago, but the danger this posed to the rest of us did not really hit home until precisely that moment. While I knew the Quileutes had promised to keep our secret, I had never put much stake in the promises of wolves. They were our enemies at best and our prey most naturally; there was no room for trust in that relationship.

I wondered if Edward knew…if he had taken any precautions against Bella asking too many questions. It seemed unlikely. Still, the past was past; I could to do nothing now but hope she would never have reason to go back.

Unfortunately, the girls' jealous complaints moved away from anything relevant, though the rest of the hall was still filled with strands of gossip, the girls all focused on their own lust and insecurities, and the boys annoyed with their failed attempts to garner their attention.

"I just don't get it. What do they even have in common…?"

"—a total front, anyway. You're out of your mind if you think a guy who acts like that—turns down that many girls!—isn't gay. He's probably just running with Bella to keep anyone from finding out about his boyfriend…"

"Psh…I don't see why anyone gives a rat's ass about the Cullens anyway. They're all freaks, and everyone treats them like they're gods. Give me a freakin' break…"

"—not like there's even any proof they're a thing and everyone's acting like he's proposed to her or something! God, it's not like I'm dating every guy who drives _me_ around…"

I closed my ears to their gossip at last, though the tension in my body did not fade. News was spreading already about the two spending time together and it was only second period. Their talk would not make things any easier if the relationship ended…badly.

My eagerness to escape news of Edward and Bella even made gym more bearable, despite the coach offering to let me sit out if I "didn't feel up to volleyball." Emmett grinned but managed to keep his jokes in check until I was given the opportunity to politely refuse the offer. I cursed Rosalie for telling the class about my "attack," and cursed myself for giving her the means to make the ridiculous claim in the first place.

Unfortunately, gym was hardly the place for an immortal to let off any steam, and so Emmett and I—with the gentlest, slowest movements we could muster—practiced our serves. Gym was always miserable, but Emmett took it the hardest. He could not stand anyone who refused to go all out in anything, least of all himself.

Still, between listening for rumors and all the girls' unnecessary coddling, lunch came quickly for once. I went to meet Alice as soon as I dared, a welling of the same passion that had ensnared me in the morning lingering in the air.

She gave me a little wink and walked beside me. "How was class?"

I grimaced and she laughed.

"I'm sure the break will do you some good. Though I suppose you already know that Edward won't be sitting with us."

I nodded once, and did not offer any objection.

Alice made note of my silence and glanced at me curiously. "You don't mind?"

"I wouldn't go that far," I admitted, opening the door to the lunchroom for her. "But I can't begrudge him that when he does seem to be exercising more caution. After all, he protected us even when Bella was in danger. I owe him for that."

"He definitely proved he can control himself," Alice agreed, though she seemed a little bothered as we filled our lunch trays together.

"Is something the matter?" I asked, my voice low as we paid for our food and waked to our table.

She shook her head quickly, and, as though to reassure me further, reached for my hand beneath the table. I felt a strange sense of foreboding at her touch—it felt more like she was attempting to restrain me than offer comfort.

I tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling as Rosalie and Emmett approached, and nodded to the both of them.

"Sorry I didn't get here in time to help you with your tray, Jasper," Emmett said with mock concern. "I know it must be difficult for you to carry things in your sensitive condition."

"That's all right. But since you're feeling guilty about it, perhaps you can take my fitness test in P.E. tomorrow. I'm awfully tired, and I understand that if I can't run the mile in under eight minutes I don't pass."

Emmett rolled his eyes, but could not quite restrain his laughter. He seemed to be enjoying my newfound "frailty" almost as much as I loathed it.

Rosalie was in no mood for fun, however, even at my expense. "Yeah, Emmett, we know. Hah, hah. Am I the only one hearing the _other_ rumors being passed along the halls? Or are you all so wrapped up in Edward's romance that you can't see the dangers of it anymore?"

"Maybe I'm _tired_ of everyone spending all their time worrying about Edward," Emmett complained, a rare frown on his face. "It's all anybody wants to talk about anymore. And it's starting to kill the _mood,_ Rose." He looked her up and down with one short, suggestive glance.

There was a heavy undercurrent of embarrassment under Rosalie's snarl, and it was uncomfortably clear that Rosalie would not let go of Edward's affixation under any circumstances. I cringed at the thought of trying to make love in the wake of her constant grumbling. It was enough for me to feel genuine sympathy for Emmett.

Whatever response Rosalie had prepared for Emmett's accusation was silenced by Edward and Bella's entrance. We were lulled into a silence despite ourselves, trying in vain to pretend we were not watching them move through the lunch line. It was all still too strange to take as ordinary. Even Rosalie seemed more baffled than resentful as he carried her tray and paid for "their" meal.

I noted the chivalric gesture with a strange jolt of approval. It was always odd for me to consider that Edward's moral background was not drastically different from my own. I had long ago attributed the 1900s to the quick death of good upbringing.

My eyes followed the couple's slow walk to a private table, Edward gesturing for Bella to choose whatever food she wished from the very moment she sat down.

She carefully selected an apple, playing with it and permeating undisguised wonder as she studied my brother.

She wasted no time with putting the rest of us on high alert. "I'm curious," she said.

It was not the sort of the thing any vampire wanted to hear. There was no room for curiosity in a relationship between humans and immortals.

But she was deaf to my disapproval, and, her voice low and her body leaning closer to Edward, continued, "What would you do if someone dared you to eat food?"

Alice clenched my hand tighter, and it took me a moment to realize I had gone completely rigid. I could hear Emmett muttering urgently in Rosalie's ear, a slow red haze obscuring my vision and barely allowing me to make out the movement of his hands against hers; it was an almost perfect imitation of the soothing patterns Alice was making along my own palm.

"Please tell me she thinks he has an eating disorder," I said softly, not quite capable of looking at Alice.

I did not hear her answer as Edward accepted her question as calmly as if she had inquired about his favorite color. "You're always curious," he said easily, picking up a piece of pizza and taking a delicate bite. I swallowed despite myself. Even the imagined sensation was disgusting.

The undisguised awe permeating from Bella did not suggest an eating disorder. I heard a strange, bracing sound ring against the back of my teeth, and dully came to the conclusion that I was holding back a hiss.

Alice's hands quickly rubbed up and down arm, trying desperately to calm me down, but I still could not bring myself to acknowledge her presence. Rosalie was digging her nails deep into Emmett's hands, and my brother was too busy holding her down to complain.

The harsh sound escalated as I watched the girl reach for the same slice of pizza and happily take a bite. My lips vibrated with the effort of keeping the noise subdued.

"Jasper, please…" Alice whispered, clenching me tighter still.

I said nothing.

It was a mistake. It had to be a mistake. I had _trusted_ him, and he had betrayed us. Again. And this human chatting away with him was not making matters any easier to accept. They had ruined us.

Both of them.

"_Explain_, Alice," Rosalie snarled, finally finding her voice.

I could feel Alice shuffle uncomfortably against me, but I still could not look at her. "He didn't tell her. She figured it out by herself."

"By herself?" Emmett echoed, baffled. "When?"

Alice's discomfort increased, "While she was at La Push with her friends, I think."

"She was _where?!_" Rosalie demanded, struggling to keep her voice low. She began a long, angry stream of curses only to quickly cut herself short. "But that means the treaty's been broken, doesn't it? Perfect. I say we pay the dogs back."

"That's not fair, Rosalie! The Quileutes haven't had an active wolf in their tribe for generations. In all likelihood, that boy had no idea he was even speaking the truth. You would be attacking _humans_, Rose."

Rosalie grumbled, her emotions crackling like wildfire, but it was clear from the hateful way she eyed Bella that she would leave the wolves be.

"So she got Edward to spill, I take it," Emmett said, his voice resigned. "How much did he confirm?"

"Well…"

My eyes moved quickly to Edward's face as he said something that managed to draw my attention more than Alice's explanation or the dull, voiceless roar of my own rage. "Something you said to Jessica…" he began, seemingly unaware of us, "Well, it bothers me."

Rosalie had been listening as well. "_Please_ do not tell me _another _human is involved with this," she growled, her voice dripping with venom. Alice's quick dissent did little to soothe her nerves. Emmett shifted his position to look something like a hug as he struggled harder to keep her seated.

I could not bring myself to move at all.

"I'm not surprised you heard something you didn't like. You know what they say about eavesdroppers," Bella said, her tone not quite serious.

"I warned you I would be listening," Edward reminded her.

"And I warned you that you didn't want to know everything I was thinking."

It took a little longer than it should have for the implication of her statement to sink in. Bella knew Edward could read minds. This was…disturbing, to put it mildly. Part of me had still been hoping that she had been offered a fairytale version of the truth—some relatively innocent story that could smooth away whatever information the girl had managed to steal from the wolves…

This was far worse than even I had imagined.

"You did," Edward continued, deaf to my rage and Rosalie's curses. "You aren't precisely right, though. I do want to know what you're thinking—everything. I just wish…that you wouldn't be thinking some things."

"She wouldn't be if you could keep your damn mouth shut," Rosalie muttered, still beside herself with anger. She continued to mutter over the conversation until another of Edward's comments sent her spiraling into another crushing wall of hatred.

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" Edward asked, his voice low.

I was grateful that all my liquids had been replaced with venom. Had I still been human, I could only imagine the way the pressure in the back of my head would have burst the blood vessels in my eyes. The last thing I wanted to hear—the last thing I was capable of even dealing with—was Edward suggesting he loved this girl he barely knew. A violent shiver snaked its way through me as I forced down my own sudden burst of hatred, and Alice placed an arm around my shoulder to discreetly subdue me.

"Jazz, you're supposed to be _reasonable_ about this, remember?" she said softly, her voice gently teasing.

I managed to look down at her for only a moment. It was incredibly difficult. She looked strangely weary, her hold on me seeming almost tentative despite its enormous strength.

"You knew," I said, my voice hardly louder than a whisper. It was not an accusation, just a soft, dead statement of fact. "You knew."

Even Rosalie quieted at the sound of those two awful words. An uncomfortable silence took over the table.

It was Alice's turn to look away from me. "I was hoping I would not be around when you all…found out. I couldn't tell you myself, Jasper. It didn't seem ri—"

"I can't hear that right now," I snapped, my voice ripping through my body like a knife. "You're _my_ wife, not his, Alice! You're my mate." This was the closest to starting a fight with her I had ever come, and it felt absolutely horrible. "I fail to see how you could keep something that endangers all of us—that endangers _you_—from me for _him._"

"Don't be that way, Jasper. You know he planned to tell all of you. It just happened. He simply hasn't had the opportunity yet…"

I said nothing, and turned away from her again. Still, the silent accusation hung in the air between us as though it had been spoken aloud: when you kissed me last night, it was in celebration of _this_. You were _excited _that the girl was learning enough to strengthen your future with her. And you lay with me all night, Alice—you let me speak highly of him _knowing_ I would only be disappointed again in the end—and you said nothing.

I fought the impulse to place my hand against the dead weight at my chest. My attention went back to Edward and Bella, partly to turn my focus away from Alice, but mostly—if truth be told—to legitimize my anger.

I listened almost entirely free of emotion as Bella continued to talk to Edward as though completely unaware of the chasm she had driven into our family. "Sometimes…I can't be sure—_I_ don't know how to read minds—but sometimes it seems like you're trying to say goodbye when you're saying something else."

"He better be saying goodbye," Rosalie hissed, "and he better kiss his car, and piano, and chatty little ass goodbye, too!"

"There, there, Rose," Emmett murmured soothingly, despite the unsettled aura that lingered around him.

"Perceptive," Edward breathed. "That's exactly why you're wrong though—" he paused for a moment, baffled. "What do you mean, 'the obvious'?"

"Well, look at me," she said. "I'm absolutely ordinary. Well, except for the bad things like all the near death experiences and being so clumsy that I'm almost disabled. And look at you."

I sucked in a sharp breath of air, and the rest of table gave me an uneasy glance. I ignored them, letting the convoluted taste of the cafeteria linger on my tongue while I tried and failed to distinguish Bella's smell from the rest of the humans. I could not. Bella was absolutely right. She was ordinary. I had been betrayed by my brother and my mate for this extraordinarily _ordinary_ girl.

A fierce, unreasonable part of me wished I had abstained this morning—I yearned for an excuse to be driven mad by the filtered scent of human. I yearned for an excuse not to think… I yearned to kill her without a second thought—without _any_ thought.

I listened to Edward console her and buried myself deeper in a thick blanket of loathing. Perhaps Edward was right. Perhaps she wasn't as ordinary as I first thought she was. After all, she had managed to get at least two "vegetarian" vampires to seriously consider erasing her from existence, and one to totally lose his mind and convince himself that a relationship was somehow possible even while desperately thirsting for her blood. Maybe she wasn't ordinary at all. Maybe she was the worst thing that could possibly have happened to us. She was certainly the worst thing that had ever happened to my relationship with Alice…

Edward just continued on, his mood cycling from joy to depression almost from sentence to sentence. For the moment, he was smiling. "Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence."

Bella returned the smile. "No one has tried to do away with me today."

"Yet," Edward said grimly.

"Yet," she agreed.

_Yet_, I mentally assented, as I considered killing Bella for the second time in what seemed like only a few weeks. Judging from the little of Rosalie's mutterings that weren't curses, she felt the same way. _Yet, Isabella Swan_, I repeated, viciously relishing the words.

"Easy, Rose," Emmett whispered, restraining her more carefully as she shook again, his arm holding her tight to his side.

For the first time that day, Edward released a small cloud of guilt. "I have another question for you," he said, flicking his eyes away from Bella and toward our table for only a moment, his eyes finally lingering on me before moving away.

"Shoot," Bella said.

"Do you really need to go to Seattle this Saturday, or was that just an excuse to get out of saying no to all your admirers?"

The girl's distaste revealed itself even before the grimace appeared on her face. "You know, I haven't forgiven you for the Tyler thing yet. It's your fault that he's deluded himself into thinking I'm going to prom with him."

"Oh, he would have found a chance to ask you without me—I just really wanted to watch your face." He laughed, his aura incomprehensibly light. He laughed as though he had not betrayed us—as though what he was doing with this human girl was somehow totally natural. "If I'd asked you, would you have turned _me_ down?"

"Probably not," Bella admitted. "But I would have cancelled later—faked an illness or a sprained ankle."

Edward's amusement was momentarily obscured by confusion. "Why would you do that?"

Shook her head. "You've never seen me in gym, I guess, but I would have thought that you would understand."

"Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?"

"Obviously."

"That wouldn't be a problem," he said, all confidence once again. "It's all in the leading. But you never told me. Are you resolved on going to Seattle, or do you mind if we do something different?"

"I'm open to alternatives. But I do have a favor to ask."

"What?"

"Can I drive?"

"Why?"

"Well, mostly because when I told Charlie I was going to Seattle, he specifically asked if I was going alone and, at the time, I was. If he asked again, I probably wouldn't lie, but I don't think he _will_ ask again, and leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject unnecessarily. And also, because your driving frightens me."

Edward rolled his eyes, "Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving."

I felt Alice stiffen beside me and without a second thought took her hand and looked to make sure she was all right. I felt the weight in my chest become heavier as I saw her eyes staring directly into Edward's. Whatever the vision was, it was not a good one. She was panicked and, for the barest of moments, Edward was, too.

"Won't you want to tell your father that you're spending the day with me?" he asked, his grim aura the only thing betraying that any exchange between the two had taken place.

"With Charlie, less is always more," Bella said, completely at ease. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"The weather will be nice," he said slowly, still struggling against the cloud of conflict and torment that hung over him. "So I'll be staying out of the public eye…and you can stay with me, if you'd like to."

My knuckles curled tight and I kept my eyes on Alice. She continued to look to Edward, her eyes still gleaming with worry.

"And you'll show me what you meant, about the sun?" Bella asked eagerly.

I fought back the terrible urge to howl in protest, and Rosalie nearly shook off Emmett's grip.

"_Has he lost his mind?!"_ Rosalie demanded, her voice shrill with rage.

Even Emmett gave Alice a frown. "Maybe it would be a shorter list if you just told us everything she _doesn't_ know... I'm sure it would make Rose feel a little better if she knew when she was allowed to get mad again."

"I fail to see any humor in this, Emmett," I murmured.

"That's why sometimes you need to make your own, brother," Emmett responded, his smile uncharacteristically weary.

That was not possible. Not now. Not with Alice wearing that look on her face. Especially when it flickered with a blind desire for rescue directed at Edward… Not me. Whatever she needed, she did not think I was capable of giving it to her.

"What did you see?" I asked, careful not to look at her. She was too good at reading my face—I would not be able to hide the awful anger weighing in my chest.

"It's the same place," she whispered, her lips trembling slightly.

The weight in my chest grew heavier as though to assure me any attempt to comfort her would do little good. Even without knowing what she was trying to say, I knew that it only concerned Edward and Bella.

"What's the same place?" I asked at last.

"The place he makes his decision…it's the same place. He'll either solidify his relationship with her or…or…" she let out a quick, dry sob. "He can't, Jazz! Not before we've even had the opportunity to become friends! He can't…I love her!"

With another dull stab of pain, I gently placed my hands atop hers. "You believe the two of you will be friends, don't you?"

"Yes, but…"

"Don't make room for the 'buts.' Just believe things will work out the way they should," I did not bother to try for a smile, having neither the desire nor the ability. Never mind that she wanted something absolutely opposed to what I wanted. I was speaking the truth. We could only believe that things would work out the way they should…the way they must.

I was deaf to whatever Edward and Bella were saying to one another, but I caught his sudden scowl in Alice's direction and watched as her face composed itself into a warning glance. Rosalie noticed the exchange and glowered furiously in Edward's direction, but he simply looked away. I was too numb to even manage anger.

As though feeling the growing animosity, Bella changed the subject. "Let's talk about something else."

"What do you want to talk about?"

Bella looked around carefully, clearly checking for eavesdroppers. Our table must have either been disregarded, or judged too far to overhear.

"Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend…to hunt? Charlie said it wasn't a good place to hike, because of bears."

He raised an eyebrow, and I realized with some surprise that my anger had not yet reached its limits.

"Bears?" she gasped. He smiled and she quickly pulled herself together. "You know, bears are not in season."

"If you read carefully, the laws only cover hunting with weapons."

Her lips parted in disbelief. "Bears?"

"Grizzly is Emmett's favorite."

"Hmm," she said, taking a bite of her pizza and a quick sip of her drink. "So what's your favorite?"

"Mountain lion."

"Ah."

"Of course, we have to be careful not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting. We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators—ranging as far away as we need. There's always plenty of deer and elk here, and they'll do, but where's the fun in that?"

"Where indeed," she said, taking another bite.

"Early spring is Emmett's favorite bear season. They're just coming out of hibernation, so they're more irritable."

"Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear," she said with a nod.

He chuckled. "Tell me what you're really thinking, please."

"I'm trying to picture it—but I can't. How do you hunt a bear without weapons?"

"Oh, we have weapons," he said, flashing a suggestive grin. "Just not the kind they consider when writing hunting laws. If you've ever seen a bear attack on television, you should be able to visualize Emmett hunting."

She glanced our way and visibly quivered, which only served to rankle me more. I heard Edward's laugh and quickly stood up and left the cafeteria.

I could not bear it. Not after trusting him.

With my eyes closed I leaned against the lockers, pinching the bridge of my nose as I tried to get ahold of my negative thoughts.

"Jasper…" Alice called softly, her delicate steps and the buzzing of the overhead lights the only noise in the deserted hallway.

I did not open my eyes. "Forgive me, but I won't be walking you to class this time. I need to speak to Mr. Fowler."

"Please, Jazz…You can't be angry with Edward. I'm sure he didn't intend to leave you unaware…"

"Angry with Edward?" I said quietly, my voice colored with disbelief. With my face steeled into a grim frown, I forced myself to look at her. "Why _shouldn't_ I be angry with Edward? What has he done for any of us, Alice? He would throw us all to the wolves if it would amuse that child sitting across from him for even a moment, and you know it."

"You shouldn't say things you'll regret later out of anger, Jasper," she warned.

"And I don't care about whether he intended to tell me about Bella or not," I continued, pretending I had not heard her. "Why couldn't you say something to me, Alice? Why didn't _you_ say anything to me last night?"

"Because seeing the future doesn't always give me the right to share it!" she cried earnestly, taking a step closer to me.

The weight in my chest seemed to crumble to dust and leave a giant, gaping hole in its wake. "You couldn't share it?" I whispered.

Mechanically, I shrugged away from the lockers and closed the distance between us, jerked her chin toward mine, and forced my mouth against hers. My teeth tore at her lips and my tongue slid against hers while I held her to me, only releasing her when the first few students crowded into the hall on their way to class.

"Then you shouldn't have shared that with me, either," I whispered, tearing myself from her. "It would have been kinder."

She stared at me as though I had slapped her across the face and, with the feel of her lips still stinging my own, I turned away.

I felt the ripping hole in my chest widen.


	14. Reconciliation

_A/N: Sorry for the ridiculous delay. Unfortunately, I was dealing with a computer crash. This chapter has not been beta-ed, so please don't blame anyone else for the mistakes. I figured you'd rather see it rough than not at all . . ._

_Dedicated to __**cjasone45**__, who is just awesome. Please be on the look-out for a possible _Twilight**-**_related collaboration between the two of us in the near(?) future. No spoilers, except to say Jasper will not be the focus this time._

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**CHAPTER 14: RECONCILIATION**

At some point, I must have walked to class.

There was even a fair chance that the students in the hall had been swapping gossip that pertained to Edward or myself. But if I had passed anyone—if I had moved at all—I couldn't account for it. One moment I was in the hall, and the next I was sitting at my desk in Physics. The only distinction I could make between that moment and the one before it was the strange, dull ringing against the back of my ears.

As the swirling colors began to solidify into something recognizable, I realized I had been staring at my reflection in the window nearest to my desk for what felt like ages. It seemed odd, with that hateful sensation still stinging my lips, that my mouth looked normal. As irrational as it was, I could not help but expect to see them blacken or blister around the edges.

A part of me _wanted_ to see my face marred in some way. I wanted to wear my punishment as the Puritans used to, never mind that I had never actually been very "pure."

The fact that my body remained as unalterable as ever only dragged me deeper into the void tearing its way through my chest. I felt myself drown in the feeling, utterly unconcerned with curbing the emotion or tainting the rest of the classroom. For the moment, it seemed too immense to spread—too immense for the mortal psyche to even begin to process.

It had to be. How would a human possibly register an emotion that I myself could not begin to define?

All but forgetting my surroundings, I slumped against my chair and squeezed my eyes shut. Alice's face—her eyes wide with shock and her lips slightly parted in a ragged frown—was etched inside my lids, and I quickly jerked myself upright.

I could not face her, even in the security of my own imagination.

I tried to move my attention to preparing for class, but my mind was still wrapped in the same awful, incomprehensible fog. What had I been thinking . . . ? Had I been thinking at all? Each question seemed to make the ringing in my ears grow more intense. I should have left her alone, I realized. I should have pretended everything was fine.

Now I had no idea how to make things better.

I instinctively clawed at my knees, my eyes darting around the classroom to make sure the few students who has dwindled in behind me had their attention elsewhere. Safe for the moment, I attempted to grab hold of some semblance of self-control without much success. My chest felt too tight, as if my stone organs had suddenly grown too big for my skin.

I forced the grimace off my face as Rosalie strolled into the room with Emmett close behind, casually pressing one hand hard against my stomach in a last desperate effort to hold myself together.

I saw Rosalie glance in my direction, make a swift gesture to Emmett, and casually sink into the desk a row ahead of mine. Without a word to either of us, she busied herself with her textbook, casually stretching her long legs into the aisle and effectively barring any approach to my desk from the left side of the room.

Emmett made himself comfortable directly on my right side, leaning over as though to speak to me with an uncomfortable aura lurking beneath his friendly grin. With Rosalie's haughtiness on one side and Emmett's brawn on the other, the rest of the class could only inquire about my health from a hesitant distance, and my lack of response soon put an end to even those sparse efforts.

"You all right, brother?" Emmett asked, staring hard at my face.

I kept myself composed, unable to discern from emotion alone whether they had already spoken to Alice. If so, things would certainly end badly. I was not confident I could handle that conversation—I could hardly manage to keep tab of my own emotions, let alone anyone else's. The void within me was mercilessly destroying everything that had once been comprehensible.

"Am I ruining the mood?" I asked softly, avoiding his gaze and concentrating on keeping my face composed.

If Emmett heard the bitter edge in my voice, he ignored it. He simply continued to study me, frowning slightly, "No, you seem to have yourself under control, I guess. Rose and I just got a little concerned when Alice raced after you like that. We thought maybe she had a vision of you in a . . . bind."

"Is that what she told you?" I asked, knowing full and well that she had not predicted my outburst. It had certainly not been a conscious decision to let my negativity reach her. I had simply acted out of pure, hideous instinct, and finally succumbed to the poisonous desire to allow the monster within free from his chains.

My brother shook his head slowly. "She just up and left without a word. We didn't have a clue what was going on."

"I see. . ."

Alice had gone straight to class then. I was not sure how I felt about her decision to keep our fight between just the two of us. In a way, it seemed to emphasize just how horribly I had treated her.

Emmett caught me wince and stiffened slightly. "Did something happen?"

"It's . . . nothing," I managed, nearly failing to get the lie from my mouth. It was everything, and I knew it.

Emmett's response was interrupted by Fowler's noisy entrance to the classroom, his dark mumblings about the broken coffee machine in the teacher's lounge going mostly ignored by the rest of the class. He stopped fidgeting with the large black stain on his tie long enough for my presence to draw his attention. "Ah, Jasper. It's good to see you back. I trust you took the appropriate medication this morning?"

I nodded and he babbled on, still playing with his ruined tie.

I was struck again by the futility of our family's little act. Even the humans seemed to be stuck in some sort of trivial drama. Mr. Fowler was as unconcerned with my health as I was with his existence. It was all a game of pretend. And none of it mattered.

Not at all.

Mr. Fowler continued on for a few more minutes before informing the class that we would be watching a film for the remainder of the period. I spent the rest of class staring blankly at the screen as a narrator droned on about the importance of physics in building skyscrapers, and carefully avoided Emmett's frequent glances in my direction.

It all just seemed so meaningless. . .

When the bell rang, I remained in my seat for a second longer than it took Emmett and Rosalie to rush out of the room. For a long moment, I honestly could not understand why everyone was in such a hurry. Even when it finally occurred to me that I needed to leave, I could not make sense of where to go.

With my eyes to the floor, I slowly turned down the hall leading to Psychology and fought the wild impulse to seek Alice out, to escort to class, to apologize to her, and to pretend I had never opened my mouth to begin with. . .

"Um . . . Jasper?"

I knew the voice did not belong to Alice, but that did not stop the sharp pain of disappointment from stabbing through my chest when Cassie took advantage of my slight pause to catch up to me.

"I tried to hand them to you before class, but you seemed . . . busy. And after class . . . well, here," she awkwardly thrust a stapled packet of papers into my hands. "We got an A. Thanks a lot."

I was surprised to hear genuine gratitude in her voice. "You were the one who gave the report," I said dully, glancing at the grade and stuffing it into my backpack. I briefly recalled that it would be ruined by the glittery mess inside, and just as quickly decided that I didn't particularly care. "I apologize for forcing you to handle the presentation on your own."

She shook her head, seeming to understand that I had nothing more to say but incapable of drawing our short dialogue to an appropriate close. I was so distant from my hunger that I almost didn't notice the strong, rapid drum of her heart against her chest or the embarrassed flush that flooded her cheeks.

Almost.

"There's just one more thing . . ."

We reached the door to my next class and I struggled against the urge to simply continue forward and abandon her in the hallway. There were enough immortals consorting with humans as it was, and I was tired of pretending my civility had meaning anymore.

Still, I had been cruel enough for a lifetime already, and a few more minutes of my time was not likely to jeopardize my control. I paused and met her gaze, careful to stay at least an arm's length away from her. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to say I . . . I'm really sorry that things ended up so weird between us. Over this and the note and everything, I mean. I know you would probably have preferred to work with your brother or sister. . ."

"It's nothing."

"It's not," Cassie insisted, her heart rate increasing, "because I wasn't very nice about things. And I was hoping that maybe . . . if I apologized properly . . . we could be friends or . . . something."

I carefully shook my head and placed my hand on the doorknob, effectively drawing our conversation to a close. "I appreciate your interest and your apology, but I'm not really very good at making friends. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

There was a short pause, and, for a moment, I was certain that Cassie was growing to cry.

But she simply took a deep, staggering breath and gave a short, unsteady laugh. "Well, it was worth a shot. Sorry to bother you, Jasper. I'll . . . I'll see you around, okay?"

"Good bye," I said quietly, walking into class with my mind still puzzling over the peculiarity of humans, and hoping in vain that my confusion might distract me from the awful sensation of my heart twisting into itself.

I murmured something like an apology in response to Mr. Walden's annoyed grumblings and slipped easily into my seat. The look on my face must have been colder than usual, and the energy swirling around the room was uncomfortable enough for me to take momentary notice before sliding deeper into my own mind. It was almost gratifying to see that I was not the only one in the room being punished.

The class bled by without my taking much notice. It was simply a continuation of the agony that I had subjected myself to and nothing more. There was no craving for blood. I did not even wish for the class to come to an end. Every heartbeat, every shuffling of papers, and even the constant hum of the lights overhead was somehow linked to Alice. I merely . . . endured.

Yet, even with guilt and self-loathing ripping me to shreds, I knew I could not apologize to her. Everything I had said was sincere, even if I had gone about it in an unacceptable way. How could I tell her that it hurt me to hurt her—that I could not bear her pain—when my own frozen heart still burned with betrayal? The answer was that I could not.

And I would not.

When class was eventually dismissed, I made my way to the parking lot to find Rosalie's convertible surrounded by an admiring crowd. I glanced at the empty spot the Volvo had previously occupied and could not suppress the bitter sneer that pulled against my lips.

_They_ were together again. And yet I . . . and Alice . . .

I silently shoved my way through the crowd and leapt into the backseat, silently pushing the door open for the rest of the family. A large part of the crowd trailed away in the wake of the less than pleasant expression on my face, though some of the more persistent car enthusiasts lingered, loudly offering their opinion on its price and horsepower in hopes that I might warm enough to confirm one rumor over another.

They were disappointed.

At Rosalie's arrival—and more particularly the withering glare she had saved for the children too absorbed in the car to notice her approach—even the stragglers disappeared. Their fear and admiration seemed to appease her to some extent, and she smiled as she slid behind the wheel and Emmett naturally took his place in the passenger seat.

Alice subtly slid in behind him, taking her customary place beside me without a word.

There was no pretense of normalcy. We did not speak, did not touch, and did not look at each other. Her emotions seemed to wrap her in a delicate, unapproachable bubble, and I had the powerful sensation that if I dared to attempt entry or meddled with it at all, she would vanish altogether.

The only indication that Emmett and Rosalie noticed the newfound strain on our relation was an occasional furtive glance at us through the rearview mirror. They kept their own conversation relatively light, at least until Emmett excitedly informed us all of Edward's brighter, though admittedly still bizarre, new attitude. It seemed any discomfort he had with Edward's behavior had been quickly and easily forgotten.

At Edward's mention, no one else spoke a word. What Edward had done was not the sort of thing that could be casually talked about. At least not as far as the rest of us were concerned.

At least not as far as I was concerned.

I was on my way to my study before Rosalie finished pulling her car into the garage, eager for any reprieve from the exhaustive atmosphere. Still, I found myself incapable of moving away from the closed door until I heard Alice's lilting step disappear into our—into _her_—room.

Realizing that I had no motivation to do schoolwork or anything else, I sat at my desk and quietly sifted through the first book I laid my hands on. It was an old, yellowed copy of Plato's _Republic _I'd picked up the first time I'd attended college, and I eagerly immersed myself in the text, nodding vaguely at the notes I had scribbled in the margins. It was the sort of thing Alice would have teased me about, had she caught me. She always accused me of burying myself in intellectual inquiry whenever anyone's emotions became too much for me to bear. As always, she was right. Even with my gift—perhaps especially with my gift—rational arguments were always easier to analyze than emotions.

With an agitated sigh, I closed my book and leaned back in my chair. The house was quiet with the exception of the soft buzz of the television in the living room. It was as if we were all frozen in time, waiting for something . . . or someone.

After about fifteen minutes of strained silence, I caught Esme's soft tread down the stairs. She paused at the foot of the steps, as if she finally taking note of the awkward atmosphere.

"Is something the matter?" she asked, her voice hushed with concern.

"Uh, well . . ." Emmett murmured awkwardly, as reluctant as the rest of us to upset Esme without just cause. "It's not exactly that something's wrong. I think it's more, with everything going on with Edward and all, that no one feels like they know exactly what's going on. That's all."

"Really, Emmett? Because I'm sure _Bella_ knows _everything_ that's going on," Rosalie sneered, her voice coated in pure acid.

"Has something else happened concerning Bella? Is she not feeling well?" I fought back the unnecessary anger at the welling of concern in Carlisle's voice as he stepped in from the garage.

Rosalie did not seem to very think much of his compassion, either. "Oh, I'm sure _she_'s just fine. Precious little Isabella is everyone's top priority now, after all."

"Come on, Rose," Emmett said quietly. "Don't take it out on Carlisle."

Whatever furious response Rosalie had prepared in reply was immediately halted by the soft click of Edward coming through the front door. I could hear the rest of the family immediately step toward him, waiting to hear the explanation for his human's newfound familiarity with vampire secrets. I slowly stood up and made my own way down the steps, careful to keep my tread even and unhurried. As irrational as it was, taking my time seemed like some small way of undercutting his influence on the rest of the family.

By the time I was downstairs, Rosalie already had him cornered. "All right, Edward. It's about time you started filling in the rest of us on just what the hell you're telling your little human friend."

Edward's mouth twisted into a bitter smile. "Your murderous thoughts this afternoon seemed to indicate that you already know what I've been telling her, Rosalie."

"Did something happen at school?" Esme asked, her energy softly anxious.

"Not at school. In Port Angeles," I said quietly, feeling the rest of the family's attention without ever tearing my eyes from Edward's face. "Bella knows what we are."

"You told her?" Carlisle asked, his emotions strangely indecipherable.

Edward shook his head, his motions strangely weary. "She figured it out on her own. Apparently, the younger Quileutes don't take the old legends very seriously."

Carlisle's lips were a thin, grave line.

Esme was faring little better. "Oh my . . . Of all the people Bella could have asked. . ."

"Are you certain you're all right with this, Edward?"

Rosalie curled her lips at Carlisle's gentle question, her disgust evident even without being privy to her thoughts.

Edward rolled his eyes, briefly held my gaze, and gave a single, pointed nod. "Things are . . . better this way. It's too easy to let things slip when I'm with her. If the Quileutes hadn't told her, I would have eventually."

_I think it's time you starting telling us what happened,_ I thought, embarrassingly incapable of keeping my mind as reserved as my expression.

Edward cocked his head slightly in my direction. "There's really not very much to say that you don't already know, Jasper. After Bella ran into that —" He cut himself off with a vicious growl, his lips pulled back from teeth and his entire body trembling with rage. With a deep, shuddering breath he choked back the sound and began again. "After I picked her up and regained some semblance of composure, I took her to dinner. I did not trust myself to leave them alive if left alone, and I needed to be sure she was psychologically stable." He managed a bitter, disbelieving smile. "That much, at least, is still debatable.

"At any rate, during dinner and our return to Forks she allowed me a glimpse of her particularly perceptive observations, my ability to read minds among them, and her theory concerning the Quileutes' 'cold ones.'"

"And you actually _confirmed_ all this?" Rosalie demanded, almost too aghast to maintain her rage.

"I didn't see the point in trying to lie to her anymore. She has already proven herself exceptionally trustworthy, particularly by human standards." He smiled dryly, "Besides, keeping anything from Bella is nearly as difficult as keeping her alive."

_But why would you tell her more? Why would you want her to see you in the sunlight?_

"I want her to know everything," he said, his voice unusually gentle.

I was not sure if it was his recklessness or his tone that finally sent my temper flaring. _Did you ever, for even one second, think about what you were doing?_

"It's all I think about," he replied.

"_Bella_ is all you think about," I snarled aloud.

I felt a sudden, spectacular flash of anger as Edward's eyes locked onto mine. "What I am putting Bella through is much, much worse than anything I have done to our family. The worst that might happen to us is being forced to leave Forks. Bella puts her _life_ in danger every day, simply by sitting next to me. Do you think I don't understand that, Jasper? Do you think I _planned_ to fall for her? To put her through this?"

"_Please_," Rosalie snorted. "It's a phase, Edward. You're destroying us over a _phase_. And as soon as the novelty of not being able to read her mind wears off, you'll realize that the human isn't worth it."

"I have felt more for this woman than I have ever felt for anyone," Edward responded coldly, his eyes blazing. "_Anyone_, Rosalie."

I felt a deep, hot blanket of shame and anger slam against Rosalie and force her into silent, indignant submission.

Esme seemed torn between joy and anxiety. "But Alice—"

"That vision is outdated," he said sharply. "I will _not_ change Bella. I will _never _hurt her!"

_But aren't you hurting her now, Edward? Think for a moment. What will you do when she begins to age? How will you reconcile things if she decides she wants children? What if she decides to move back to Arizona? Will you stay with her then?_

"I will give her up the moment she wishes for it. Maybe before she wishes it, if I can't protect her or she no longer needs me."

Rosalie hissed with distaste, and Edward grimaced back.

"I'm curious, Rosalie. Are you upset because I kept something from you, or because you can't bring yourself to hurt my Aston Martin?" he asked coolly.

She looked positively livid. "Neither you nor the car is worth the trouble."

"That's enough," Carlisle said, his soft tone leaving no room for argument. Both Rosalie and Edward quieted immediately.

"Do youreally think you are strong enough to make yourself so vulnerable, my dear?" Esme asked, her voice all tenderness.

"Yes. For Bella, I will be."

The warm glow of adoration encompassing Edward made the black hole in my chest tear its way through me with sudden, profound force, and I gripped the doorway to keep from collapsing to the floor. Again, I could not quite distinguish what I was feeling. The enormity of the emotion wiped out all else, before I could even begin to understand it.

How could something that made him feel so glorious make me so . . . bitter?

"Jasper?" Carlisle asked gently. "Are you all right?"

I was capable of escaping the raging pain just long enough to notice that my entire family had focused their attention on me. Even Emmett, who had been more concerned with the television than our discussion was studying me with something between confusion and concern.

Only Alice was not worried. Alice—who knew me better than I ever would or could—had not left her room at all.

With a quick, rough shake of my head, I shrugged myself away from the doorframe and straightened. "I'm fine. Just a little . . . overwhelmed." Before they could question me further, I made way up the steps and returned to my study.

Away from any witnesses, I pulled off my shirt, fell into my chair, and blindly raked my nails from my temples to my chest. This pain made no sense. My body was stronger than stone. It was impossible for a stone heart to break, wasn't it . . . ? But the way my chest heaved whenever I thought of Alice or Edward or Bella—the deep pain that pierced through me with disregard to both reason and anger—made it clear that something was very, very wrong.

Without my pillar of support—without my other half—I was even weaker than I thought.

I slumped down deeper and stared at the ceiling, listening to the soft murmurs downstairs between Edward and Carlisle, shortly interrupted by Rosalie and Emmett's loud trek up the steps.

I could not will myself to care about what was being said, my continued existence, or anything else. All that seemed to concern me was avoiding emotion. Above all, I did not want to feel.

About forty-five minutes after Edward left the house, I heard a gentle knock at my door.

Knowing Esme's emotional tenor even better than her step, I quickly pulled on my shirt and placed _The Republic_ on my lap. Esme worried enough without me giving her further incentive.

Better to let her think I was reading than allow her to see how disturbed I truly was.

"Come in," I called, focusing my efforts on diffusing her anxiousness in hopes that it would conceal my own frazzled state of mind.

She smiled gently as she entered the room, her eyes curiously searching my face and room around me. "Good afternoon, Jasper. I hope I'm not disturbing you, but you came and went so quickly I didn't have the opportunity to ask how your day was."

I attempted to return her smile, but I could not quite manage to twist my lips into anything other than a grimace. "Not well, I'm afraid. But your presence suggests that you knew that already."

Her worry was faintly tinged with embarrassment and, after a quick glance at me for permission, she dragged my spare chair nearer and made herself comfortable. "Something did seem amiss when you came home this afternoon, but no one seems to know what happened. All Edward would say is there's some tension between you and Alice."

The muscles in my jaw pulled tight as I fought against screaming against Edward's right to say anything about my relationship.

Esme seemed to sense the tension, and hurried into the purpose of her visit. "I hope you don't think I mean to pry, but the idea of you and Alice fighting is . . . impossible. I had thought that yesterday was your—"

"It was," I choked out, gritting my teeth against the throbbing rip in my chest. "But yesterday's significance has been . . . complicated now."

"I don't understand," Esme said, her eyebrows furrowing as she tried to make sense of my strained reaction. "You seemed so happy this morning."

"Of course I was happy," I snapped, feeling my self-control chip away and utterly incapable of stopping it. "Though things had . . . gone awry . . . after saying goodbye to Peter and Charlotte, Alice and I were together. I was celebrating the day I had asked her to be mine—the first day of the rest of my existence—and she . . . she still could not bring herself to share the reason for _her_ joy."

"Jasper. . ."

"She let me think well of Edward when he did not deserve it," I whispered, looking away from her. "Please don't waste words trying to make that right."

I felt the confusion encompassing Esme thicken. "I still don't think I understand. What does your and Alice's arguing have to do with Edward?"

"_Everything_ has to do with Edward," I said bitterly, shoving _The Republic_ to the floor with one violent wave of my hand. "That's all this family is concerned with anymore. Edward and his damned human!"

"That's not true, Jasper, and I think you know that." I felt the soft pressure of her hand on my knee as she moved close enough to lean against my arm rest. "If I didn't know better, I would say there's some jealousy having its way with you."

"Jealousy?" I echoed softly, staring at the broken spine of my crumbled book. While I had not bothered to classify the violent emotion coursing through me before wallowing in my own self-pity, I was well aware that I had the capacity for jealousy. It had simply never seemed important. In fact, it still didn't. Alice had always possessed the heart I lacked—she had always spread her love in a way I never could. Identifying a fraction of the aching emotion coursing its way through me was of no consequence. It certainly didn't make it any easier to contain.

"Of course, I'm jealous. _I deserve_ to be jealous. I'm sick and tired of all the secrets, and I can't take it anymore. Not from Alice. . ."

"You're saying you've never kept anything from Alice?" she asked gently.

"Nothing like this."

I couldn't if I had wanted to. Alice and I had always been one and the same. Lying to myself—even if just through the absence of truth—seemed an inconceivable waste of time.

"Are you absolutely certain, Jasper? You've never done anything you knew would upset her?"

My mind immediately went to Jenks and my tongue was glued itself to the bottom of my mouth. I could not deny my guilt in that respect.

Esme saw me stiffen and gently patted my knee. "It's not as horrible a crime as you want to make it out to be, Jasper. Sometimes even those who only used to be human make mistakes. But don't you think it's wrong to hold someone's capacity for love against him or her? Do you really believe it's right to blame someone for honoring something they feel must be honored?"

"We have never . . . disagreed before, Esme." My voice was humiliatingly weak. "It's not . . . right. It's not right that Edward could do this to us. It's not right that Bella should be her friend before ever knowing her name. And all I want to do is protect her, and in this situation I can't even do that." I covered my eyes with my hand and tried to hold in another pulse of pain. "If I can't protect her, what am I good for . . . ? What right do I possibly have to even be a part of her life?"

For the moment, I forgot that I was her elder and let her to mother me. With my mind entangled in a fog of indecision and helplessness, it was an enormous relief to simply let Esme stroke my head and envelope me in the soft glow of her sympathy.

"Jasper, my dear, you make Alice happy each and every day. You make _all_ of us happy. And maybe it's time to focus on Alice's _happiness,_ rather than her safety. Protecting someone lacks a certain something when your loved one is no longer permitted to be herself, don't you agree?"

I was quiet for a moment, my emotions and my reason raging against one another. After a long pause, I forced a nod.

"I . . . I suppose it does. Perhaps I _have_ been letting jealousy get the better of me lately. . ."

Esme smiled. "Being jealous is perfectly normal, Jasper. But so is letting go of that jealousy." With a quick motion to move my bangs from my eyes, she released me, "If you need anything, I will be right downstairs. Feel free to join us whenever you wish."

"Thank you, Esme," I murmured, forcing a smile as she left the room.

I waited until I heard her feet reach the bottom step before I allowed my eyes to leave the door. They seemed to wander naturally to my desk, particularly the drafting pencils that were still laid out from Alice's sketching days before. I imagined sharpening them and carefully putting them away, knowing I would do neither.

I felt no desire to do anything. I felt no desire to think. Giving my feelings a name had done nothing and changed nothing. It certainly hadn't brought me any closer to making amends with Alice. . .

However valid Esme's points might be, how could I even begin to apologize to her when she would know my intentions before the words ever left my lips? Somehow, it made the whole thing seem forced, and I could not bring myself to even begin the framework of a proper reconciliation.

If I was fully honest with myself, I was still not really certain I should be the one apologizing at all.

With a low sigh, I wandered over to my bookshelf to replace my now badly misused copy of _The Republic_. My eyes fell on the small laptop perched on the shelf above and I slowly picked it up. It had been my Christmas gift from Alice last year, though I rarely used it. Delicately—it was so easy to get careless when it came to technology—I turned it on and opened a search engine.

Forcing away the grim thought that our official anniversary might not be celebrated this year, I quickly looked up the leading jewelry designers and wrote down a few estimates.

No matter what happened between us, it did not change the fact that Alice was my wife, and my wife deserved an anniversary gift.

---

Morning arrived with uncomfortable rapidity.

While I had made significant progress with Alice's gift, I still had no idea how to approach her. Every time I braced myself to speak to her I thought of the morning before and my tongue went numb. Hadn't I promised that I would never take advantage of her? Wasn't that kiss—a kiss that was intended for punishment rather than love—abuse?

Hardly able to reconcile what I had done in my own mind, I could not speak to her. I did not know how to even begin.

I had not realized how much time had gotten away from me until I received another knock at the door barely ten minutes before we generally assembled in the garage.

"Enter," I said quietly, placing my laptop on my desk.

"Yes, sir!" Emmett said with mock seriousness, marching in with an awkward grin. "Morning, brother. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

"Would you really care if you had?" I asked with a dry smile.

"Guess not," he admitted. "Though I do have an excuse for once." He gestured to the small stack of clothes he was carrying and unceremoniously piled them into my hands. "Alice asked me to pass them along to you."

I stared at the clothes silently for a long moment, my mind utterly blank of any sort of suitable response. "I . . . see."

But I didn't see. For the first time in our relationship, Alice did not want to see me. She did not want me in our—_her—_room, and she did not want to enter mine. I placed one hand on the bundle and let the other hang limply to the floor.

I had not realized I had the capacity to feel any worse than I already did, but the hole in my chest sagged open a bit further.

"You, uh, all right there, man?" Emmett asked hesitantly, jerking his hand toward me as though unsure whether to offer me his support or leave me to breakdown in peace.

"I'm fine," I said mechanically. "I will see you in . . . awhile."

"Sure, sure," my brother said quickly, eagerly backing away. "I'll just . . . uh . . . go see, umm . . . Rose."

I managed a rigid nod, gripping the clothes as though they were the only thing anchoring me to the earth. For a moment, I wished they were. Then I could simply let them go and fall away . . .

Perhaps that was the real means of killing a vampire. You simply took away his anchor and watched as he turned to dust. There would be nothing left to burn.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and started. I was so lost in myself that I had not realized Emmett had not left.

"Look, I just wanted to say that I know it's a first for you and Alice, but Rose and I, we fight all the time, you know?" he asked, awkwardly attempting to boost my spirits. "But no matter how much we might disagree, things always work out and we still love each other. It's just like Carlisle said. Our kind finds soul mates, not lovers. Don't you think so, too?"

"I do," I said softly. "Thank you, Emmett. Really."

I felt a strong wave of relief, and Emmett removed his hand. "Anytime, brother. I'll see you in the car."

Careful to keep myself under better control, I watched him leave the room and slowly got dressed. With my head still lost in thoughts of Alice and my failings, I moved to the garage and joined the rest of the family in Rosalie's convertible.

For a second time, it appeared that Edward would not be joining us.

Again, Alice and I did not speak. I could not feel anything at all from her, not even anger or disgust.

When we reached our school I moved to walk her to class but she casually moved ahead of me, almost as if completely by accident.

Her dismissal destroyed what little hope I had for reconciliation, and I silently turned away from her. It did not seem possible that I could move or even speak, and yet I must have. It did not seem possible that I could continue existing this way without seeking Alice out and violently demanding to know her feelings, and yet, despite the agony of her continued silence at lunch and after class, I did.

Two days since my last hunt, and it still hurt far too much to even feel thirst.

When we returned home, I only entered the house long enough to find a book—what did it matter which one?—and then disappeared into the woods. I did not want to feed. A frightened part of me feared if I was fully satiated, it would just leave more room in my mind for Alice.

Instead I read, allowing the words to fill one part of my mind and my hunger another, leaving as little room as possible for the pain lurking like a vicious shadow around everything that surrounded the reason for my existence.

My self-mandated solitude remained uninterrupted until Edward's return.

At first, I did not think his presence would have any impact at all. I ignored the crunch of gravel as the Volvo moved down the driveway, and soft swing of the car door being I opened. It wasn't until I heard the gentle padding of footsteps heading in my direction that I realized I would not be allowed to ignore him for long.

With a defeated sigh, I looked up from my book and turned my head toward the intruding sound.

_It's unusual for you to come searching for me. What do you want? _My thoughts were grudging, and, even with the knowledge that he would "hear" my reluctance to allow him entry into my mind, I did my best to mask my anger with thoughts of feeding.

Edward chose not to comment on my obvious lack of hospitality, and began the conversation as if it was simply a continuation of one we had been having before. "Do you recall when we met in the woods and you asked me about my self-control?"

I raised an eyebrow, momentarily baffled into silence. For some reason, I was certain he had determined to erase the encounter from both our memories. _I do. _I thought, a part of me growing vaguely wary.

He smiled slightly. "You asked about Bella. It was very unlike you."

I was not sure if he expected a response, and he did not seem particularly concerned when he didn't receive one. He simply continued on, vaguely playing with something hidden in his pocket.

"Lately, I've felt as though the insecurities I told you about—my own issues with her shallow little group of admirers—have become increasingly . . . complicated. In fact, I've grown so afraid of myself that no one else seems to matter at all. . ."

Edward paused, his eyes never leaving my face. "I am scared, Jasper. Allowing her to see me in the sunlight—being alone with her without any secrets—is both the last and the only thing I want for her. I can't seem to decide whether I'm her guardian angel or just another monster leading her to an early grave. . ." His muscles tightened and he looked away from me, his body pulsing with a violent mixture of embarrassment and shame. "I would sacrifice my mindreading ability without hesitation for the knowledge that I could truly . . . trust myself with her. . ."

I waited until I was certain that he had finished speaking before meeting his hard gaze. _I don't understand. Why are you telling me all this?_

"It simply seemed fair," he said quietly.

"Fair. . ." I hoped voicing part of my thoughts would drown out the biting sarcasm roaring in my mind. "Are you leaving to see her again tonight?"

"Yes," he said gravely, as though admitting an enormous weakness. "And you? Are you planning on avoiding Alice again tonight?"

The roaring spark of anger that raged in my chest quickly dampened into sadness. "I . . . don't want to."

"You've done things that Alice hasn't approved of before without allowing things to disintegrate to this level. If you feel so awful, I don't understand why you haven't apologized to her."

_Because not all of me is sorry,_ I admitted. _I despise hurting Alice, but . . ._

"But you don't want to share her with me," Edward said quietly. His gaze lost some of its intensity as he lost himself in his own thoughts. "I can understand the sentiment."

"You . . . what?"

"Of course, I do. No matter how certain I am that Bella doesn't want any of the human males that force themselves on her, it's all I can do to try and tolerate it. The confidences she has with them are enough to drive me mad. I want _all _of her. But. . ." He sighed. "But I also want her happiness. And, unfortunately, they seem to play a part in it."

_I know_, I thought, more than aware that Edward's confessions had a motive. _I know I am not being fair to her. I know I am being selfish._

"Alice didn't keep anything from you because she wanted to, Jasper. She may have kept Bella's newfound knowledge of our kind to herself for my sake, but you are always who she considers first. I hope you realize that."

_I do_, I admitted.

"And you still can't reconcile things? Even with that knowledge?"

I could not articulate my response, even in my own mind. How could I even begin to put into words the horrible, throbbing ache in my chest as a result of being both bully and sufferer? Unable and unwilling to make Edward understand, I tried to lock the feeling away from him and once again bury my thoughts in my growing hunger.

Edward did not seem particularly thrown off. "Well . . . you have always known Alice better than the rest of us, Jasper. Do whatever you feel is best."

I winced away from the horrible sting in my chest. Edward's words stung like an accusation. It seemed as if I was being condemned . . . as if I was making the wrong choice. Which, of course, I was.

"Must I always be the one to apologize?" I whispered, condemning myself for daring to even voice the question aloud. _I accept that I have hurt her, but isn't the betrayal I felt valid at all?_"

"If anyone is guilty of betraying you, I am," Edward replied, answering my silent question rather than my spoken one. "I am truly sorry for the way my relationship with Bella has affected you. I hope one day you will be able to accept my apology."

_I don't want your apology._

He bowed his head in assent. "As I said, perhaps one day you will."

With the same abruptness with which our conversation began, Edward turned his back to me and disappeared. Giving up on my book, I followed behind him, hoping in vain that I might find something inside to better distract me from my guilt.

I reached the break in trees just soon enough to see Edward pull open the door to reveal Alice, her eyes locked on me even as she exchanged pleasantries with her favorite brother. I stood frozen in place, unsure whether her sudden attention to me made me feel more complete or more terribly empty.

Alice waited until Edward had disappeared into the house before sinking to the bottom porch step and allowing the light rain to mist against her legs. For forty-three seconds we stayed absolutely still and silent, my body still partially hooded by the shadow of the woods and hers as perfectly poised as any one of the magazine models she routinely instructed me to research.

Realizing that I had no intention of breaking our silence first, she allowed herself a small sigh and pointedly wrinkled her nose in my direction. "So you've made the decision to apologize to me twenty-six times now," she said quietly, her voice gently teasing. "And yet, for whatever reason, you never actually have."

I simply continued to look at her for a moment. I could not understand how one presence could drive me into simultaneous joy and agony. It did not seem possible. "Have you already seen my reaction to this conversation?" I asked at last.

She hesitated, recognizing the potential danger that lurked in the subject. "Only to know whether or not my presence would upset you."

"Al—" I stopped, my voice breaking before I could so much as finish her name. I closed my eyes and began again. "You know that I would never fault you for your visions. But imagine, even for a moment, that you were deprived of that gift. If you were in my position, would you still feel so self-assured that your apology would be accepted?"

She was quiet, and we fell into silence again.

"I really am sorry for hurting you, Jasper," Alice whispered, hugging her legs to her chest. "But even if I have seen you forgive me, I have not seen _why_. Is it genuine? Or do you just feel . . . obligated?"

I softened immediately, unable to tolerate her insecurity. "You are my happiness, Alice. I will _always_ forgive you, and it will always be genuine. But can't you understand how much I. . ." I broke off, unable to admit out loud how much our separation had hurt me.

Alice was at my side immediately. "Jazz, I will always love you best. But there are other people that I deserve to love, and those people exist for you, too. It's been fifty years, my love. Don't you think it's time you opened up your heart a little more?"

I started to shake my head. While Alice's heart was wide open, I had never had enough room for anyone but her. But I hesitated slightly at the immediate rejection, my thoughts swirling around my family's attempts to console me. While I would never feel the same closeness to them that Alice felt, I could not deny that Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie and even Edward were bound to me. I owed them. I cared for them. If it had not affected my relationship with Alice as it had—and I had moved past my decision to eliminate Bella—I might even have honored Edward's foolhardy decision.

"I . . . will do my best," I said quietly. "And Alice?"

"Yes?"

"I'm very sorry. For everything. Could you . . . _can _you forgive me?"

She answered by placing her head against my chest and wrapping her arms around my waist. I held her tightly to me, hungrily burying my face in her short locks. It seemed like ages since I had held her . . . since I immersed herself in her sweet, cleansing scent. I breathed deeply and murmured apology after apology into her ear, more grateful for this single moment than I had been for anything in years.

Yet the hole in my chest still seemed to lurk there like a scar. I could not bring myself to accept her easy acceptance. I could not make sense of the way she avoided me in the morning if she was so willing to forgive me now. And I could not fight the deep, lingering suspicion that she was not telling me everything as I recalled the brief nod she had exchanged with Edward before stretching out on the porch.

And if I could not reconcile her actions, I certainly could not accept that the kiss I had used to punish her could not be changed or forgiven, either.

For the first time since I had accepted the life of a "reformed" vampire, I had committed a sin that no amount of apologizing would ever undo. But, for the moment, I simply focused on the feeling of her body against mine and permitted myself to forget the rest.

"I love you," Alice whispered against me.

It was amazing how much simpler those three words made everything seem.


	15. Acceptance

_This chapter is dedicated to __**Joayla**__, who always manages to have something kind to say despite being busy with her own Jasper/Alice fic. Thank you so much for your enthusiasm.

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**CHAPTER 15: ACCEPTANCE**

"Now, try not to be too disappointed," Alice began, a faint tinge of guilt coloring her voice.

I groaned softly and pressed the base of my palms against my eyes. We had not been together for even a full twelve hours. I was not ready to be disappointed again. Not yet.

With an exasperated sigh, she straddled my stomach and pried my hands from my face. Her expression was unusually somber as she studied me, her thighs hugging my hips and effectively pinning my body to the sofa. "Will you please listen, Jazz?"

I closed my eyes and bowed my head in consent. "I will do my best."

"Edward and I are leaving school early today. He needs to hunt and, as Rosalie doesn't want Emmett participating in anything that makes spending time with Bella easier, I volunteered to go along with him."

It was much easier to bear when I couldn't see her. Even with her weight pressed tight against me, I felt . . . calm. Or, at the very least, resigned.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked.

"I'll be back by this evening."

I took a deep breath and slowly opened my eyes. She was still looking at me, her expression carefully blank. "I trust you will come back to me safely?"

Alice's surprise only surfaced for a moment before fading into pleasure. "You fool. Don't I always?"

I broke her hold on my wrists and bundled her hands into mine. "I always seem to find myself wanting to protect you when you don't need it."

Her lips curled into a smile and grazed my cheek, as quick and gentle as butterfly wings. "It's all right. You wouldn't be you if you weren't annoyingly overprotective every now and again."

"I choose to take that as a compliment," I murmured, answering her kiss with a weak smile. I allowed her enthusiasm to fill me, and tried to keep my misgivings to myself. "Is he really going to show himself to that girl?"

"He will. That much is very clear."

I grew quiet, keeping my thoughts on Edward's obvious insanity to myself. What did it matter what I thought? Alice had said it would happen, and I knew better than to think otherwise. The only thing any of us had left to discover was whether or not the girl would survive the encounter.

I shook my head slightly, her special significance still entirely lost on me. "How are you so sure you're going to like Bella? What exactly did you see?"

Alice laughed. "Just . . . the two of us together and happy. I was as close to her as Esme or Rose, and it felt . . . right. Like we _must _trust each other. I'm sure Bella will be one of us some day." Her smile held a new, special glow at the prospect of another sister. "It will be good to have the family completed."

"It wouldn't be terrible to see Edward happy," I admitted. "But a human? Why not Tanya? I had always thought they were . . . agreeable."

"_Tanya?"_ Alice exclaimed, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

I shrugged. "What's wrong with her?"

The Denali clan had always struck me as more than hospitable, and it was clear even without the uncomfortably heavy emotions sizzling from her skin whenever Edward was near that Tanya preferred him.

"There's nothing wrong with her." Alice chose her words carefully. "It's just . . . don't you think it would be a bit boring?"

"Boring?"

"Well, think about it, Jasper. Tanya's a gorgeous, flirty blond who can't stand rejection and loves attention. Remind you of anyone else we know?" Her eyes slid suggestively in the direction of Emmett and Rosalie's room.

I chuckled softly and ruffled her hair. "I see. So Bella breaks the tedium."

Alice grinned, "That, and I think she's cute. She compliments Edward well. Don't you think so?"

I kept my face carefully blank as I recalled my limited exposure to the girl. She neither repulsed me nor intrigued me. She simply . . . existed. The overall effect was lackluster at best. "I must not see her correctly."

She pinched her face into a slight pout and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh? But you can see Tanya correctly?"

I tried not to smile. "I'll admit that your presence makes it very hard to be generous to other women. Especially with that enchanting expression on your face."

She laughed as I mimicked her pout and flicked my nose in rebuke. "Will you be all right without me tonight?" Her tone was still light, but I felt her airy mood darken slightly.

"Are you worried?"

"Not worried, exactly," she said quietly. "I just don't want to leave you again. If I didn't think my encouragement might increase the probability of Bella surviving . . ."

I shook my head quickly, eager to alleviate her worries. "I will keep myself occupied. I've been needing to reunite with Jenks, anyway. This evening seems as good an opportunity as any."

"Be nice," Alice warned me.

"Perhaps," I murmured. He had directed me to the flower shop, after all. I could afford to be a bit more civil. Or at the very least refrain from breaking any more furniture. "Providing he upholds his end of the bargain, of course."

Alice saw the shadow of a grin flitter across my face and shook her head. "I hate seeing you act that way."

I was not repentant. "He knows too much, Alice. He's a liability. It's my job to make sure he understands who is in control in our relationship. His kind will take advantage of you otherwise."

She gave a grudging nod. "I suppose we both need to do what we see as best."

"I agree," I whispered, running my nose along the hollow at the base of her neck.

She smiled and settled more comfortably on my lap.

We stayed together for the rest of the night, mostly busying ourselves with schoolwork and barely speaking to each other—though I lightly hummed old childhood hymns every now and again for her amusement—but always less than an arm's length away.

Comfortable in the warm silence, I closed my eyes and listened to the faint, careful scratch of charcoal against paper as Alice loosely worked on a sketchbook assignment. I peeked only when her scribbling came to a stop, surprised to find that the subject of the sketch was her hand enclosed in mine.

"What do you think?" she asked, passing the pad to me.

"It's wonderful," I said softly. "Except . . ."

"Except?"

I smiled wryly and ran my scarred thumb across its smooth, two-dimensional counterpart. "Except my hand isn't as pretty as the one you have there."

Alice pursed her lips. "I thought, because humans can't see you properly, it might be better to make them more boring."

"Boring?" I echoed with a dry laugh. "Don't you mean less traumatizing?"

I allowed her to inspect my fingers more carefully, taking in the ragged crescent shapes carved into my skin. In a few places, particularly my wrists and the intersection of my thumb and pointer finger, the teeth marks overlapped so frequently that full pieces of my flesh were permanently ripped away.

Alice was wrong. Even the humans were more than capable of seeing me properly. They simply weren't looking closely enough.

Much to my surprise, Alice kissed each and every finger and held my hand tight against her cheek. "I have no idea what you mean. I _adore _your hands. Everything from the lines on your palms to the curve of your cuticles is entirely unique. The scars just add a little extra character."

I gently removed my hand from her face and wrapped my arms tightly around her small shoulders. "You are too good-hearted, Alice. I wonder how many times I'll have to act like a monster before you understand what a heathen I really am."

"Be as monstrous as you like," Alice murmured with a gentle smile. "You'll still have the kindest, gentlest, most beautiful hands in the world."

Knowing that my objections would fall on deaf ears, I sighed and held her closer to me. I didn't deserve her. I couldn't protect her. And I was hopelessly, madly, overwhelmingly in love with her. And for some reason I could never begin to fathom, she answered my love with an emotion so pure I could hardly bear it.

"Do you need to leave me?"

"What?" I started, taken aback by the soft question. "Of course not. What would possess you to even ask?"

"It's nearly dawn. Won't it make you uncomfortable to go another day without hunting?"

I shook my head and pressed her more tightly to me. "My thirst is still more than controllable. It's certainly not uncomfortable enough for me to even consider leaving you."

"Are you sure?" Alice asked doubtfully.

"Do you see me attacking any of our classmates?" I asked, my voice half-teasing in an attempt to hide my genuine concern.

"No," she said after a moment. "I just want you to be happy."

"Believe me, dear Alice. I am."

---

The house was noticeably silent about our reconciliation when we finally mustered the strength to separate ourselves from one another long enough to get prepared for class, but the mood was considerably lighter. Esme gave me an especially large smile as she wished us all a good day, and Emmett flashed me a wink from the rearview mirror as Alice naturally placed her hand atop mine while exchanging light gossip with Rosalie during the short drive to school.

The schism between us all but forgotten, I eagerly walked her to her first class. My emotions threatened to soar into pure elation when she clutched my hand for a moment longer than necessary and gave me a gentle peck on the cheek as a goodbye present.

It was almost startling to find that I could feel again. My misery less than twenty-four hours ago seemed so . . . pointless now. How could I have ever doubted Alice's affections? She was my other half in every sense of the word. I could not fathom how I had managed to separate myself from her at all.

In the wake of my euphoria, even class was tolerable. The only problem was the aching in my chest no longer interfered with my hunger. Still, even the steady burn in my throat was better than all-consuming depression. The pain was almost indiscernible by comparison.

"Dude, look at Cullen," I overheard one classmate whisper to another as I smiled to myself.

"I know, right? The guy could bench-press a whale!"

"What? No! Not _that_ one. I mean Jasper. He looks . . . happy, don't you think?"

"I guess. So what?"

"_So what?_ Have you ever seen him smile? I mean, _ever?_ I was kinda starting to think he was robot . . ."

I caught Emmett snickering and, with a quick flick of my wrist, I snapped my pencil into the back of his head and casually replaced it with a new one, moving so quickly that the class was none the wiser. I stifled my own low chuckling as Emmett's loud expletive quickly distracted them from any further discussion of my sudden good mood.

My other classes went by with a blur—though, admittedly, my enthusiasm made me play a little rougher than usual in dodge ball—until I was at last free to escort Alice to lunch.

Alice took in my smile with a pleased grin. "Are you having a good day?"

"I am now," I answered, laughing lightly as I offered her my arm.

She accepted it gratefully and we walked together, I insisting she take a seat while I went to claim our "meal." When I returned, Emmett and Rosalie had joined us, and Edward and Bella were already deep in conversation.

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch."

My good mood derailed for only a fraction of a second before I forced my mind back into the warm glow of positivity. I did my best to be logical. Alice had already informed me that she was leaving with Edward. This was not a surprise. But somehow, hearing the news in Edward's voice—and knowing he was well aware of my insecurities—made it difficult to keep hold of my reason.

"Are you all right, Jazz?" Alice asked, her eyes intent on my face.

I realized that I was still standing and quickly sat down, pushing a plate of food toward her with a determinedly sunny smile. "I'm fine."

Realizing that she was not the only one looking at me, I suppressed the table's worries with a forceful wave of relief. I did not need them to think I was incapable of controlling my own jealousy. Regardless of how true that might be.

"What are you hunting tonight?" Bella asked, as though our eating habits were the most natural thing in the world.

"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far." I was surprised to find that Edward seemed to be trying to reassure her just as much as himself.

The idea of a human worrying about the well-being of a vampire was amusing enough that I nearly forgot my worries.

"Why are you going with Alice?"

I was very careful to keep my smile from faltering so much as a millimeter.

Edward frowned as he searched for a suitable explanation. "Alice is the most . . . supportive."

"And the others? What are they?" Bella could not hide the delicate trail of fear exuding from her.

"Incredulous, for the most part."

Everyone at the table with the exception of Alice grimaced slightly. "Incredulous" didn't quite cover the range of emotions we experienced in the wake of Edward's new relationship.

She turned her head to look at us and we all quickly busied ourselves with doing everything but look at her. Even Alice gazed intently at me, though the look on her face made it obvious that it was the result of Edward's explicit direction rather than her own volition.

"They don't like me," Bella guessed.

I glanced at Rosalie and shook my head despite myself. Too, too true.

"That's not it," Edward insisted, the innocent tone of voice making the lie all the more noticeable. "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone."

"Why can't it be both?" Rosalie snarled with a grimace, picking at her nails with an agitated huff.

I could practically hear the frown in Bella's voice. "Neither do I, for that matter."

I fought back a sharp stab of shock. The girl was saner—and more perceptive—than I first thought.

Edward shook his head and looked heavenward. "I told you—you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me."

He answered her incredulousness with a smile and continued, "Having the advantages I do"—he touched his forehead—"I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you . . . you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise."

She turned back to look at us, clearly not liking her answer. I quickly turned my attention back to Alice, who was visibly squirming against the urge to turn around and answer Bella's gaze with something friendlier.

"That part is easy enough to explain," Edward continued, still intent on her. "But there's more . . . and it's not so easy to put into words—"

"Like 'I'm obsessed with you.' Or 'I like to watch you sleep,'" Emmett murmured with a grin.

Rosalie gave a furious snarl and, with a challenging look at the rest of us, confronted Bella's searching gaze with a cold glare of her own. Bella seemed trapped in Rosalie's stare—the dull topaz of her eyes lined in dark ring of black thirst—and it was clear from the expression on my sister's face that she had more in mind than a staring contest.

"_Rosalie!_" Edward hissed, his voice turning the name into a low, feral curse.

Rosalie looked away at the threatening sound, but not without a grim, satisfied smile. When Bella turned back to Edward, she was visibly enshrouded in confusion and fear.

"I'm sorry about that," Edward said, his voice gentle. "She's just worried. You see . . . it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly . . ."

"If?" Bella pressed.

"If this ends . . . badly," Edward said at last, dropping his head into his hands. I felt nothing but anguish from him. The emotion was only interrupted by a sudden, violent spike of frustration.

Bella noticed the change, too, though she was sharper when it came to making sense of its source. "And you have to leave now?"

Alice stood up immediately, quickly putting her untouched plate back on our tray. "Finish your day with a smile, too. All right, Jazz?"

"I'll do my best," I promised. "But Alice . . . hurry back to me."

She quickly squeezed my hand and joined Edward without another word. The scar that closed up the envious hole in my heart throbbed a little despite my best efforts.

Edward didn't turn away from Bella. "Alice."

"Edward," Alice responded, her voice exuding excitement.

"Alice, Bella—Bella, Alice," Edward said, managing a slight smile as he gestured toward them by way of introduction.

"Hello, Bella," Alice said with an especially bright smile. I wondered if it was possible _not_ to see the brilliant glow of enthusiasm that surrounded her. "It's nice to finally meet you."

At the extra warmth in her voice, Edward flashed her a quick warning glance.

Bella was much more reserved. "Hi, Alice," she said shyly.

I could tell that it took everything in her not to embrace the girl as she turned back to Edward. "Are you ready?"

"Nearly," Edward responded. "I'll meet you at the car."

Alice nodded and, with a brief wink at me, she left.

Fighting the urge to follow her, I slowly made my way to the trashcan and emptied our trays. As tempting as it was, I would not follow her. I had promised Alice that I would do my best to be understanding, and that's what I was going to do.

No matter how miserable it made me.

When Edward and Bella finally finished exchanging good-byes, Emmett, Rosalie and I exited the cafeteria and made our way to Physics together.

With a low sigh, I deposited my textbook on my desk and prepared for class, ignoring Rosalie's never-ending mutters about Bella's faults and potential dangers. The tedium of class was interrupted only once, by the low rumble of the cell phone against my pant leg.

Baffled, I quickly pulled the phone from my pocket and glanced at the text message:

_I miss you already. Don't you dare stop smiling & be kind tonight k?_

_XOXO_

_A_

A glimmer of the morning's euphoria returned as I read her short note for the twelfth time. Unable to resist, I sent a quick response and returned to taking notes. My answer was brief:

_As you wish. Stay safe, my light._

Even if we were apart, the least I could do is greet her with a smile when she came back to my arms.

Alice's message worked its magic on me until I was forced to go searching for a change of clothes in her empty room. Without her presence, the place seemed bare . . . even naked. I searched for something in my small portion of the closet I thought she might approve of—taking care that it would keep me and the funds I was carrying mostly concealed—and tried to stay positive.

In truth, it was probably for the best that Alice was gone. If she were here, it would make it all the more difficult to leave her, particularly for something as meaningless as dealing with Jenks. Especially after abandoning her last time.

I fought back a grimace as I pulled on my black suit and adjusted my tie. El Pacifico was a formal affair, and, regardless of how short I intended my stay to be, I wanted to blend in with the rest of the restaurant's well-attired guests.

After pulling on my overcoat, I took a deep breath and made my way back downstairs.

"My, you look very nice tonight, Jasper," Esme said appreciatively. "What's the occasion?"

Torn between coming up with an appropriate lie and upsetting Esme, I finally settled on the truth. "I have an appointment with Jenks. Do you think Carlisle would mind if I borrowed his car?"

"Help yourself, Jasper," Carlisle called from his office. "I don't have anything scheduled for the rest of the night."

"Thank you. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Would you like someone to come with you?" Esme asked with a hesitant smile. "I'm sure Emmett would be more than happy to come along if you wanted some company. And I would be delighted to—"

I shook my head. As much as Esme's consideration touched me, my trips to see Jenks always left a bad taste in my family's mouth. It was better to keep them as uninvolved with the business as possible. "I appreciate your courtesy, Esme, but I'll be fine. If you have the time though, I would appreciate it if you could place our usual identification photos on my desk. I'll have them set and ready to laminate by midnight."

I didn't wait for a reply as I took the keys from the kitchen counter and made myself comfortable in Carlisle's nondescript hybrid. Considering my attire, it seemed more intelligent to drive than run this time around. Besides, it would lengthen my journey, and I could use some extra time out of the house before Alice's return.

Satisfied that I had everything together, I fished out my phone and, with one last glance at Alice's message, typed in Jenks' number.

He picked up on the first ring, his breathing tight. "M-M-Mr. Jasper, sir. How . . . how are you?"

"There's no need to concern yourself with how I'm feeling, Mr. Jenks. It's officially the weekend. I trust everything is in order?" _Smile_, I thought to myself, keeping my voice pleasant.

"Y-Yes. Everything has been prepared as specified. I looked over the papers myself. I think you'll be very pleased."

"Excellent. I'll be there in approximately two hours."

"O-Of course. I trust El Pacifico is still an acceptable rendezvous point?"

"Yes, that's fine. See you soon, Mr. Jenks," I said softly, keeping my voice carefully light.

I turned off the phone and threw it on the passenger's seat without waiting for his response. With Jenks, I expected little more than a stuttered confirmation of whatever I wished.

The drive was . . . nice. Relaxing, even. It had been a long time since I had allowed myself to focus on something as simple as moving from Point A to Point B, and given myself over to whatever music went with the moment. I spent a good portion of the trip quietly singing along to everything from the Beatles to Jovanotti. I even searched through a few of Carlisle's CDs, picking whatever struck me as the most cheerful. The only thing I could not abide by was anything that sounded even slightly aggressive.

_Smile_, I instructed myself again, tightening my grip on the steering wheel and singing a fraction louder. _Just keep smiling._ _Don't disappoint her. Not again._

When I arrived at the restaurant and parked my car, entirely ignoring the valets, I leaned back in my seat and took a deep, steadying breath. I was not naturally kind, and to extend the practice to Jenks—who was essentially nothing more than a culmination of slime and sewage folded into a bag of a skin—went against all my instincts. But still . . .

I glanced at my discarded cell phone and released a low, ragged groan. I would try. With one last reassuring survey of the cloud-covered sky, I slowly pulled myself out of the car and into the restaurant.

"Good evening," I said upon approaching the maître d'.

"Good evening, sir," the child replied, his voice dripping with pretentiousness. "Do you have a reservation?"

"I believe so. My party is listed under Jenks. Has he arrived yet?"

"Ah, yes. Right this way, sir." I followed the maître d' upstairs into Jenks' favorite room. "Mr. Jenks asked me to inform you that he has stepped for just a few moments to use the washroom. He should be back very shortly. May I take your coat?"

"I'll keep it, thank you. I won't be staying long."

The boy seemed somewhat surprised by my refusal, but, with a slight bow of his head, consented to my request and left me to my own devices. I made myself comfortable next to the stone fireplace and waited, doing my best to keep my thoughts light.

I didn't have to wait long. Jenks rushed in mere seconds later, his dinner jacket stained slightly by the bathroom faucet and strands of his thin hair coming loose with perspiration.

"I am terribly sorry, Mr. Jasper!" he began sincerely, locking eyes with me and taking a tentative step closer. "I hope I did not keep you waiting long!"

"Not at all," I assured him, alleviating his worries with a soft blanket of good humor. Slowly—agonizingly slowly—I closed the space between us and offered him my hand.

He shook it with only the slightest hesitation, his face contorting only slightly at the mingling of my cold stone hands against his damp, warm fingers. Carefully weighing how many seconds seemed appropriate, I released him and backed away a few paces.

"You seem well, if you don't mind my saying so, Mr. Jasper. Did you find the flowers you were searching for?"

"I did. Thank you for your help."

"N-Not at all!" Jenks insisted, clearly startled by the sincerity in my voice. "It was my pleasure—my honor!"

I smiled cautiously. "I'm glad to hear it. I trust you have my things?"

"Of course, sir! Exactly as you ordered." Jenks scrambled to his seat and quickly pulled his briefcase onto the dinner table. After fumbling with the lock for a few moments, he wrenched the case open and delicately offered me the manila envelope hidden among his papers.

I opened the envelope and looked hard at its contents, eyeing the seals and watermarks carefully. While Jenks did better than most, our relationship was not without the occasional accident.

After making sure the papers were sound, I widened my smile a fraction and resealed the envelope. "Everything appears to be in order."

Jenks threatened to collapse onto the table in relief. "I'm . . . I'm very, very glad they please you, sir."

With the monster in me raging to misbehave, I carefully counted out the remaining fee and passed it over to the poor excuse for a man. "Thank you. I've included enough to reimburse you for the chair I . . . mishandled. Let me know during our next exchange if you require more."

Jenks shivered despite the steady amount of cheerful energy I poured into the room. "Thank you for your generosity, Mr. Jasper, but I assure you that you needn't concern yourself with such things. Accidents happen, after all . . ."

"I insist," I pressed, realizing too late that the smile reflected in Jenks' eyes looked far too threatening with my teeth glistening in the firelight. Eager to remedy the situation, I closed my mouth and tucked the envelope into my jacket. "Well, I will leave you to your dinner, then. Good evening, Mr. Jenks."

"Are you sure I can't convince you to say?" Jenks managed, looking like he regretted the words almost before they left his mouth.

I tightened my coat and turned away from him. "I'm quite sure, though I appreciate the offer."

"Well, if there's every anything else I can do for you . . ."

"Anything?" I asked, pausing at the doorway. The monster in me bared its fangs with delight, filling my head with a thousand and one new ways to reduce Jenks to a mass of tears and fear. It took everything I had to keep my fantasies strictly within the realm of imagination.

I heard Jenks swallow hard. "O-Of course, Mr. Jasper. What . . . whatever you wish!"

"Excellent. Then fire your secretary for me, whenever you find the time," I said quietly, unable to suppress the disgust in my voice as I recalled the way his buxom assistant surveyed me.

"Fire Evelyn? But . . . but _why _on earth would you_—_?" he cut himself short with a sort of strangled squeak. "Wh-what I mean to say is a-as you wish, Mr. Jasper. I'll instruct her to look elsewhere first thing tomorrow."

"You have my thanks, once again. Enjoy your dinner, Mr. Jenks. Good-bye."

With one last nod to him and maître d', I returned to Carlisle's car and made my way back home. Disappointed to find that I had only wasted three hours on the venture, I slowed my pace and turned in the direction of the state park. The area was mostly unobserved and, so long as I was careful, an acceptable place to hunt.

Taking care to keep my car a safe distance away and leaving my suit jacket behind, I ran into the woods and casually followed the track of a small herd of deer, taking down three or four and hiding the bodies as I went. I managed to keep my shirt pristine, but I had been so deeply engrossed in stalking my prey that I hadn't noticed how thoroughly I'd ruined my pants and shoes.

Alice would not be pleased.

Feeling repentant in the wake of my mess and hopeful that I'd wasted enough time, I made my way back to the car and drove home.

Rosalie emerged from the hood of her BMW as I rolled into the garage, waving a dirty rag as way of greeting.

"Keeping busy?" I asked, winding the keys around my fingers as I passed her.

"Hardly," she scoffed. "Just your standard oil change. What about you? Bust any heads without me? You took your sweet time coming back."

"I'm afraid not," I admitted, unable to keep the disappointment from my voice. "The transaction was fairly uneventful. I just thought I might take advantage of the area and go for a quick hunt."

"So your clothes suggest." Rosalie shook her head. "You really can't stand being here when Alice is missing, can you?"

"It's nothing against you or the rest of the family," I said softly, averting my eyes. "Are they back yet?"

"Not yet," my sister said, turning back to her car.

"I see." I started toward the door.

"If you get tired of waiting alone, you're welcome to give me a hand with the cars," Rosalie called after me.

"I may take you up on that," I said with a dry smile. "Thank you for the offer, Rosalie."

After taking a few moments to prime the documents for completion and assure Esme I arrived home safely, I accompanied Rosalie in the garage. While my "help" mostly consisted of fetching tools and having Rosalie immediately move me away when I did not follow her directions precisely, my sister did not seem to particularly mind. When the light conversation stymied into silence, she would interrupt the tune-up to demonstrate some of the intricacies of caring for a high-end vehicle or complain about Emmett's obsession with video games.

She was careful to change the subject if it showed even the smallest sign of turning toward Edward, and Alice seemed taboo by association. Fool that I was, it took some time before I realized she was holding her tongue for my sake.

"Rosalie," I began quietly, taking advantage of her preoccupation with the wearing tread on the tires of Emmett's jeep, "it's unnecessary for you to do all this. I'm not so pathetic that I can't entertain myself in my wife's absence."

She turned to me with raised brows, but could not hide the faint unease tingeing her surprise. "What are you talking about?"

I smiled and rapped lightly on the jeep's enormous tires. "You honestly expect me to believe that the most talented mechanic in the family needs my help changing tires and checking oil?"

She shrugged, taking advantage of a stray lock of hair tumbling out of her golden ponytail to turn away from me. "I don't remember saying I neededhelp. I just offered because I thought you might be slightly more talkative than the rest of the garage."

"I see," I said. "And the reason we haven't worked on any of Edward's cars yet is . . . ?"

"If he has time to watch humans sleep, he has time to take care of his own damn cars," she muttered.

"And Alice's?"

"I . . . I just haven't gotten there yet."

"Is that due to my presence?"

When Rosalie finally glanced at me, her eyes shown with something like pity. "Things are finally . . . right between the two of you again. Why put you in a situation that might ruin it?"

"I appreciate your kindness, but my relationship with Alice really isn't as delicate as you seem to think it is, Rosalie."

"It's not a matter of delicacy. She shouldn't have left with him, Jasper," she said, trying and failing to hide her frustration. "I don't know how you can accept it the way you do!"

"You overestimate me, Rosalie, if you think I'm naturally inclined to take things in stride," I whispered, my mouth screwing itself into a bitter smile. "It's sometimes very, very difficult. But there's no good in doing anything but accepting our current circumstances. Alice will do what she will, as will Edward. If I were to complain, it would only serve to hurt the both of us."

Rosalie made a spitting sound and whirled away from me. "Facilitating them is only going to make things worse in the long run!"

"Perhaps so. But that only makes it more important that I support her now, in case she needs me when things finally . . . disintegrate."

"And they will," Rosalie promised, sinking down to work on Emmett's tires as she spoke.

"Rose! _There _you are!" Emmett exclaimed, cutting my response short as he violently threw the garage door open and approached the two of us wearing nothing but a pair of socks and his boxers. "I was just getting ready to take a shower and was hoping you might want to join me, and maybe—Oh. Hey, Jazz! I didn't realize you were back!"

"_Idiot,_" Rosalie muttered.

I returned my brother's casual grin with a shake of my head. "I only just arrived an hour or two ago. I hope my presence isn't ruining any plans. . ."

"Nah, not unless you're stealing Rose for the night." He glanced around the garage—finally absorbing the look of pure annoyance on Rosalie's face in the process—and scratched curiously at his jaw. "I'm not interrupting anything important, am I?"

I easily dissuaded his worries. "We were just discussing Edward's new relationship."

"Ah. You mean with that Bella girl?"

"No, Emmett, his _other_ new relationship that everyone's been talking about," Rosalie said sarcastically.

Emmett shrugged, "There's not really much more to talk about, is there? I mean, let's face it, Edward could hardly keep control of himself in front of like twenty other witnesses. The minute he gets that girl alone tomorrow, it's over."

"I'm not so sure. He's endured her scent in his car on multiple occasions and willingly exposes himself to her nearly every night. She may survive."

"A car ride is different from a full day alone with her," Emmett argued. "She smells too good for Edward's resistance to last long with his guard down, and he looks too good for her to realize when she's gotten too close. It's obvious just from watching them together at lunch."

"Alice sees the two of them becoming friends," I reminded him.

"Alice's visions aren't perfect, Jasper, and you know it," Rosalie said, finishing Emmett's tires at lightning speed and with expert precision. "Do you really believe Edward feels seriously enough about her—a _human_—to stop himself? She won't survive," Rosalie couldn't quite suppress the satisfaction lurking beneath her cold assurance.

"I think she will."

"You sound confident, Jasper," Emmett said with a grin. "Wanna make a bet?"

"What do you have in mind?" The rational part of my brain knew it was insensitive, but the competitive beast I was couldn't resist a challenge. Besides, I was betting for the girl's safety. That had to count for something, I reasoned.

"If Rose and I win, you owe me a new HD television. Seventy-five inches at least."

"And you and Alice will foot the bill for our next honeymoon," Rosalie added.

"Very well," I agreed. "And if I win?"

Emmett looked a little stumped. "If you win, Rose and I . . . will, uh, buy you and Alice a trip overseas as an anniversary present."

"As well as the additional monitor Alice has been wanting," Rosalie promised.

I grinned. "That sounds like a deal."

---

Alice returned very early in the morning, annoyed with Rosalie, Emmett and myself for our bets concerning Bella. Edward stayed just long enough to change his clothes and speak to Carlisle.

Then, with hardly a word to the rest of us, he left again to seal our fates.

The remainder of the household, the affair now completely out of our hands, simply waited around the house, occasionally taking a walk outside to bask in the sunlight.

Feeling refreshed by the clean air and clear skies, I returned to my study briefly to check the estimates I received from the various jewelers I commissioned. Consenting to my specifications, they sent no image or explicit description of the design in question, and merely commented on its theme, the amount of stones being used, and its approximate cost. I ruled out all companies I had yet to receive a response from and approved of five at random.

The less I knew, the less Alice knew. But I secured Esme's approval of the jewelers I had selected just in case.

Satisfied that I had not bungled my attempt to surprise Alice, I joined the rest of the family downstairs. Alice was deeply immersed in her computer, and actively consulting Rosalie on a dress design. Feeling slightly out of my element, I looked over the elegant, clinging gown and murmured my appreciation of the color. I had always been particularly partial to scarlet, and it looked especially lovely with the black floral detailing along the bodice.

"It's her new wedding dress," Alice explained, looking eager. "Do you really like it?"

"I do," I assured them both, doing my best to seem slightly more fashion aware than usual, and extremely relieved when Emmett pulled me away to play a few matches of Halo.

We all pretended not to mind that Edward still had not returned as we relaxed with one another, coming up with distraction after distraction in hopes of keeping ourselves busy. By sundown, we gave up the charade altogether and descended into silence, broken up every few minutes by Esme or Rosalie as they asked yet again if Isabella was still alive.

Alice consistently answered in the affirmative, but no one—myself included—could bring themselves to believe the response would remain that way for much longer.

The stress building in the house was nearly to the point of suffocation when Edward finally arrived at about four in the morning, his every motion overwhelmingly exuberant. Everyone, even Esme and Carlisle, convened upon him, eager to know what had transpired between him and his human.

Edward, grinning from ear to ear, simply brushed the questions off and ascended to his room to change. When he returned, he found his path out the door barred off by his curious family members, Esme and Alice's eager faces making up the frontlines. Rosalie, already assured by Edward's bright countenance that Bella had survived, was the only one who remained seated by the television.

"Can I meet her _now?_" Alice pressed, looking nearly as overjoyed as Edward himself.

Edward hesitated, casting his eyes on each of us and pausing for only the briefest moment on me.

"We can hunt beforehand," I said quietly, worried that I might be the largest obstacle to Alice's happiness. _And of course, I will be careful to . . . keep my distance._

"I wouldn't consider bringing Bella here if I thought it would be a problem," Edward said, his expression clearing at my silent oath. "I will ask her."

"Bring her _here?_" Emmett sputtered in surprise, wearing an expression that clearly indicated that he doubted Edward's sanity.

"If she is willing, I see no reason why not."

Everyone but Rosalie and myself seemed to explode with excitement. But, while I remained beside Alice, Rosalie stormed off, with Emmett hot on her heels and already pleading Edward's case.

"_Finally!"_ Alice exclaimed, bouncing happily on the balls of her feet. "I can't wait! Oh Esme, you're going to love her! Come on, Jazz. Let's get you better dressed. If you're going to be quiet, then you might as well let your outfit leave her with a good impression. . ."

I complied, silently submitting to her cheerful criticism of my wardrobe as I listened to the rest of the family prepare for Bella's arrival in some way or another.

Despite my best efforts, my thoughts lingered on Edward's clear preference that I keep my distance from the girl, and I could not fight the sense that I was once again the weak link in the family.

Setting the clothing Alice finally decided on aside, I went outside to hunt.

In all honesty, my biggest fear was not killing her. It was being the only member of the family that lacked the control to keep from doing so.


	16. Formal Introductions

_A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter than usual as it provides some of the essential filler before we start to delve into the action._

_Dedicated to __**Someone aka Me**__, whose plot bunnies are even more original than the cheerleading smiles I consistently receive in my reviews. (Err, they ARE cheerleading, right…?) Thanks very much.

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**CHAPTER 16: FORMAL INTRODUCTIONS**

Finding prey was more difficult than usual. The family had been hunting in the area more frequently, and the animals were starting to get wary. There wasn't any big game within three square miles of our household, and—if experience was any indication—they would likely keep their distance for at least another three or four weeks.

Knowing that I would have to finish hunting quickly if I wanted to do away with the carcass properly and still return in time, I detached myself from everything that wasn't instinct and ran at full speed toward the most concentrated grouping of bodies I could sniff out.

About five miles out, I hit a rare and appetizing mark: a mother black bear and her cub.

Incapable of pulling my bloodlust back for even a moment, I felt a feral warning rumble from my throat before I pounced. My body collided with the female in an instant, knocking her to the ground as I dug my fingers deep into her chest. She beat me furiously with her claws in an attempt to dislodge me and rejoin her crying child, reducing my clothing to shreds and throwing my body into the dirt in her desperation. I felt nothing at all—neither pain nor sympathy—as I casually batted her paws away and forced her muzzle back. Keeping one shoulder blade wedged against her chest, I dislodged one of my hands from her flesh and jerked her head up. With a low rumble of satisfaction building in the back of my throat, I opened my mouth wide and sank my teeth through hair, flesh, until finally tasting the beast's lifeblood.

I drank greedily, feeling a dark sense of accomplishment as the bear's heartbeat was reduced to a low, agonized thumping and her furious shaking and roaring settled into stillness. It felt like ages since I had tasted anything quite so gratifying. With a pleased sigh, I shook the gore from my hands and pulled the fur from my mouth. I had missed the blind sense of invigoration that followed a truly satisfying hunt.

My lips still flushed with his mother's blood, I turned to the crying cub. It looked at me with fear in its eyes, torn between investigating his mother's carcass and keeping his distance. My thirst fully satiated, I threw together what little dry or nearly dry lumber I could find and fashioned a bonfire. I did not approach the cub, and it seemed perfectly satisfied to pathetically mew from where it sat.

"Do you understand what I've done?" I murmured aloud, spitting a gooey piece of flesh into the fire before dragging the dead body into the flames and sinking into the dirt. "I've killed your mother. Do you despise me?"

The cub just continued to whimper.

After the hair and skin had sufficiently pulled away from the poor animal's bones, I fished around for my ruined watch, shocked to find that it still functioned, and threw dirt over the fire. Then, with one last look at the forsaken cub, I closed my eyes and considered my options.

It had been a foolish kill. The cub was too young to be left alone, and I was far too full of blood to rationalize killing a youngster, even of the nonhuman variety. But if I didn't kill him, he would just become prey for the wolves or some other roaming predator. It was no good. Unless. . .

I took a deep breath through my nose, carefully taking note of the wildlife in the area.

"I'm quite the fool, aren't I?" I muttered, eyeing the child.

With a low groan, I tossed the pathetic creature across my back and held it still. Ignoring his moans and swiping paws, I ran about three miles further and deposited him outside an occupied den. While I couldn't guarantee its well-being with a substitute mother, it seemed better than destroying the helpless animal. After brushing him with leaves to remove my scent and nudging them toward the den with a dark growl, I finally headed back toward home.

All I could think about was the black bear's burning corpse, the flames superimposed on each and every step. Her death had been purposeless. Absolutely purposeless. But even after hunting the day before, I could not stop myself from slaying her.

I thought of Bella and could not stop a shiver from crawling up my spine.

"I will _not_ kill her," I whispered, picking up speed. "Please, don't let me kill her."

When I stepped inside, Alice was waiting for me. Her eyes swept from my body to my face, her face notably bare of even the smallest sign of a smile. Without a word she grabbed my hand and started pulling me up the stairs.

Esme walked into the room with her cleaning supplies before Alice had fully pushed me into the bathroom and nearly dropped her floor polish. "Jasper! What on earth happened to you?"

"He was hunting and made a mess of himself," Alice replied, pushing me into the bathroom and pulling off my tattered clothing even as she locked the door.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and understood Esme's surprise. I had been in such a hurry to return that I had neglected to clean myself in the creek before reentering the house. Blood dotted my face and arms, and completely coated my chin, neck and fingers. Leaves and dregs of gore were tangled in my hair, dirt clung to my feet and my clothes were entirely unsalvageable. I looked positively feral.

Alice finished stripping me and pushed me into a waiting stream of warm water, forcing me to lean forward so that she could lather my hair and gently tug away the knots.

Embarrassed, I gently batted her hands away and took control of managing my hair. "I can bathe myself, Alice."

Alice conceded to my embarrassment and closed the curtain.

I finished raking conditioner through my tangled hair and scrubbed the blood and dirt from my skin. As though on cue, Alice pulled open the curtain, turned off the water and passed me a towel. She watched me dry myself without a word, her emotions undecipherable and distant.

"Have I done something wrong?" I asked, worried that she had seen my hunt and disapproved.

She shook her head. "Not at all. I'm just a bit distracted. We have . . . company."

"Company?" I echoed. It took me a minute to make sense of what she meant. "More of our kind? Nomads?"

Alice gave a short nod. "Three."

"Not terribly large. That's good. Do you see any trouble?" I asked, my voice rough with the promise of a fight.

"No, I don't. But they know we're here and they're . . . curious."

I relaxed slightly. "You don't see them coming while Bella's visiting?"

"No. . ." she said slowly, her face clearing as she passed me the clothes she had selected earlier. "But I'm keeping an eye on them."

"Would you like me to track them? I could give them warning to keep their distance, if you're still worried."

"That's not necessary," Alice assured me. "Your leaving would only make me worry more."

I pulled on my clothes too roughly for Alice's tastes, and—tutting in slight rebuke—she smoothed my cuffs and shirt collar. I heard the front door open and stiffened, but she simply continued to straighten my ensemble.

"At least try to relax a little," she said with a smile, gently touching the tip of my nose. "I want you to meet her without treating the experience like a dietary challenge."

"I will do my best," I murmured, forcing myself to loosen my muscles slightly. At least I was very full. It could be much, much worse.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" Edward asked from downstairs.

"That's our cue," Alice said with a smile, and, her hand in mine, we made our way to the top of the staircase just as Bella's eyes traveled up the staircase.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice called cheerfully, giving my hand one last squeeze before releasing me and flying down the steps.

She stopped directly before Bella, sparking slight alarm from Carlisle and Esme—they had been very careful to keep their distance—though the girl did not seem to particularly mind. I followed behind more slowly, careful to keep further away from her than the rest of the family.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice said with extra warmth, leaning forward to give her a kind kiss on the cheek.

I was amused to find that the rest of the room felt even the slightest bit of surprise. Alice's excitement was so transparent that it seemed almost natural for her to be immediately close to the girl, though the kiss was slightly unexpected.

Bella's eyes were clouded with shock for only a moment before giving way to delight. I smiled slightly at her reaction. I could see for a moment why Alice approved of her as she did. She seemed to take things very well in stride.

Edward, on the other hand, seemed to stiffen at the overly exuberant expression of welcome, or perhaps at the news of the nomads in the area. Given his over-protectiveness of the girl, it was difficult to tell which concern was predominant.

"You do smell nice, I never noticed before," she said kindly, much to Bella's obvious embarrassment. I took a slight step backward as the blood rushed to her cheeks, unwilling to test my control even on a full stomach.

I carefully eased her embarrassment, gently soothing her—and her blood—into a state of relative calm. Edward noticed the change and raised his eyebrows in my direction.

_I'm simply being hospitable_, I silently replied. "Hello, Bella," I said aloud. I raised the corners of my mouth slightly in welcome, never ceasing the steady stream of ease I willed for both her and myself.

"Hello, Jasper," she returned, offering me a bashful smile. She easily turned her attention to the rest of the room and smiled wider. "It's nice to meet you all—you have a very beautiful home."

Esme was positively elated. "Thank you. We're so glad that you came." Her admiration was undisguised as her eyes darted between Bella and Edward.

In the name of my existence I could not make sense of why the family appeared so pleased that the poor girl felt so at home in a den of blood drinkers, but I kept the thought to myself. She seemed kind enough and undoubtedly warm, even without my added assistance. Perhaps, if she could accept us so easily, it was a sign that she was more unique than I had initially given her credit for. . .

Carlisle broke the bright mood with a quick glance at Edward, and Bella—as though content to let them indulge in their silent conversation—distracted herself by admiring the grand piano.

Esme noticed the subject of her attentions and smiled ever more enthusiastically. "Do you play?"

The girl quickly shook her head. "Not at all. But it's so beautiful. Is it yours?"

"No," Esme said with a light laugh. "Edward didn't tell you he was musical?"

Edward kept his face carefully blank, and she glared at him with narrowed eyes. I smiled at the expression, unable to avoid finding the black humor in the notion that the girl thought herself at all capable of appearing threatening. "I should have known, I guess."

Esme paused for a moment, confused.

"Edward can do everything, right?"

I laughed aloud, and Edward gave me the guilty shadow of a smile.

Esme was less amused. "I hope you haven't been showing off—it's rude."

"Just a bit," he admitted, laughing along with me.

Esme was absolutely delighted. It had been a long time since Edward had seemed so obviously cheerful.

"He's been too modest, actually," Bella qualified on his behalf.

I quieted one last dry bark of laughter. This I had difficulty imagining. Edward could be discreet on occasion, but he was hardly talented when it came to hiding his talents. Particularly when he was so thorough when it came to revealing everything else about himself.

"Well, play for her," Esme ordered, gesturing toward the piano.

"You just said showing off was rude," Edward objected.

"There are exceptions to every rule."

"I'd like to hear you play," Bella chimed in.

"It's settled then," Esme sang, gently guiding him toward the piano as he easily towed her along behind him. After positioning her beside him and offering her a thoroughly exasperated glance, he began.

As the room was slowly engulfed in the soft light of the girl's awe, I found Alice's hand and we quietly made our way upstairs and back to our room.

Alice was practically shivering with excitement as she gently closed the door behind us. "_Well?_ Do you like her?"

I hesitated. "I don't think I have any opinion. I don't . . . dislike her. Her acceptance of your exuberance was likeable, if nothing else."

Alice laughed, singing vaguely to herself in tune with the song Edward played downstairs. We sat together with her happily curled up beside me. I tensed for only a moment, when the music eventually petered to a halt and we heard him walk by and point out our room to the girl. Alice simply continued to hum, gently holding my hand as a means of soothing my rumpled nerves.

"Her visit will go well, Jasper. I promise."

I frowned slightly and rose from my place beside her, unable to think properly with her body so close to mine. "And the nomads? Are you certain you wouldn't like me to track them?"

"I'm sure I want you here," Alice said firmly.

"And if they're dangerous?"

"We'll worry about that if they start to make themselves at home in the area. They don't seem particularly violent for the moment."

"You're absolutely sure?"

"I'm not worried, Jasper," she said firmly, her emotions still completely at ease.

Unable to shake the tenseness of inactivity from my body, I simply nodded and, with Alice softly singing from her place at the couch, I tried to relax again.

After a few minutes, Alice stopped her song mid-note, her breath caught tight in her throat. I immediately resumed my place beside her and wrapped her hand in mine. But, after a short moment, she came out of the daze with an excited giggle.

"Do you feel up to some baseball this evening, Jazz?"

"A storm is on the way?" I asked, my interest immediately perked.

She nodded, her grin especially wide. "A big one."

"It's been awhile since we've had a storm . . ."

"Don't you want to play?" Alice pressed, excitement practically exuding from her fingertips as she gripped my arm.

Surprisingly, I did. It had been a long time since things had been truly normal in the family, and I was eager to forget the football debacle. Baseball was not a bad way to reconcile, not to mention play away some of my tensions. "It does sound fun," I admitted.

"Excellent," Alice said with a happy grin. "Let's go ask the others!"

Without pausing for my consent, she pulled me from our room with her hand still locked around my arm and directly to Emmett and Rosalie's retreat. Without a moment's pause, she pulled open the door and stepped inside with a cheerful grin.

Emmett was sitting on the sofa, deeply intent on his video game as Rosalie reclined against his leg and thumbed through a book. She was still simmering with anger about Bella's invasion, but she was at least silent about the affair. I could feel the brief palpitation of something heady in the air, and realized that the issue had been momentarily resolved in a very physical sense.

"Knock much?" Emmett asked with a grin, not diverting his eyes from his game as Alice strolled into the room.

"I didn't see that I was interrupting anything," Alice said cheerfully.

"Not anymore, anyway," Emmett said with a grin, leaning down to kiss Rosalie's neck. She quickly pushed him away, though there was the barest hint of a smile on her lips as she went back to her novel.

Alice wrinkled her nose. "I just came by to let you know there's going to be a storm tonight."

Emmett's controller dropped from his hands in a heartbeat. "Baseball?"

"Well, it's not often we have the opportunity. . ." Alice continued, picking the controller up and easily continuing to climb levels.

"I'm completely in!" Emmett crowed, jumping from his seat. "Uh, I mean. . ." he began, rapidly backpedaling as he noticed Rosalie's scowl. "What do you think, Rose?"

Rosalie just nodded, looking pointedly annoyed but seemingly appeased that Emmett had remembered to ask her at all.

"Do you think Edward will actually come . . . ?" Emmett began hesitantly. Rosalie's smile vanished in a flash.

"We were just about to check," Alice said, punching in her initials for new score and passing the controller back to Emmett. "But it seems like a definite possibility. Ready to go, Jazz?"

I nodded and allowed her to guide me from the room and up to the third story. I stopped completely as we made it to the hallway, completely reluctant to continue. Something felt . . . intimate, and the air seemed uncomfortably heavy.

The soft sounds in the room were vaguely sensual, and the soft thud of the couch pressing against the wall seemed to confirm my suspicions.

"Perhaps . . . we should wait," I said, retreating to the stairs.

Alice rolled her eyes at my reluctance and pulled me forward. I stood decidedly behind her, ready to avert my eyes and step back if my presence alarmed either Bella or Edward.

We heard muffled laughter, and a weighty tenor of flirtation coated the atmosphere even outside the hall. Even Alice slowed before finally coming to the door.

"Can we come in?" she asked softly.

With the brief sound of some shuffling, she pulled open the door to find Bella awkwardly—and intimately—cushioned in Edward's lap.

"Go ahead," Edward said, chuckling to himself.

I stayed where I was, shocked that he could be so close to the girl when her scent felt unusually heavy even at my distance. Alice seemed unphased, however, and easily slid into the room and made herself comfortable on the floor. Unsure of how best to handle the situation, I hesitated at the doorway, my eyes still darting down to the casual drape of Edward's arms around the girl.

I had never seen such a thing before. I had never even imagined it.

Alice was all smiles as she turned her attention to the strange pair. "It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share."

Bella looked nervously to Edward, and, in a rare show of good humor, he mirrored Alice's grin. "Sorry, I don't believe I have enough to spare," he declared, pulling her closer.

I smiled slightly. While the joke was probably not the most tactful, it had certainly been a long time since I had seen Edward so relaxed. "Actually, Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?"

Bella was all confusion, but Edward was uncharacteristically eager. Still, he glanced quickly at Bella and visibly hesitated.

"Of course you should bring Bella," Alice added casually.

This was not part of the plan.

My eyes quickly darted back to Alice, but I kept my tongue still. She simply continued to smile, however, perfectly at ease with her suggestion. Her confidence in my ability to control myself was astounding. I could hardly begin to count the number of ways Bella could find herself in danger.

For once, Edward did not seem to have any reservations. "Do you want to go?" he asked, his voice eager.

"Sure." She complied without a moment's thought for her wellbeing. I was not sure if the girl's attitude was admirable or indication of a mental disability. "Um, where are we going?"

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball—you'll see why."

"Will I need an umbrella?"

The request was so bizarrely normal and asked so seriously—as though that could be her only concern when planning to venture into a violent thunderstorm with immortal blood-drinkers—that I couldn't help but laugh. We all did.

"Will she?" I asked, turning to Alice. If we were going to take her, it seemed foolish to leave her unscathed only to develop a cold the next day.

"No," Alice replied, absolutely certain. "The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing."

I felt a low trill of excitement at the thought of a game uncomplicated by mud or drenched equipment.

"Good then," I said, smiling at no one in particular. I caught Bella smiling back, and added a touch more enthusiasm to blanket the small knot of fear and anxiousness still tangled around her.

"Let's go see if Carlisle will come," Alice exclaimed, rising from her carpeted perch and leading the way out the door again.

"Like you don't know," I teased, following behind her and softly shutting the door behind me.

They seemed like they needed their privacy, and was more than obliged to accommodate them.

Perhaps—just perhaps—having the girl present really wouldn't end that terribly, after all.


	17. The Game

_AN: I really wasn't sure whether I should end this chapter where _Twilight_ does or not, as it seems a bit unfair to leave on a cliffhanger. But, after some deliberation, I decided it would be better to give you what I have finished then to keep you waiting as I usually do. (Plus _Crescents_ finally matches chapters with _Twilight_ again, which is nice too. Though, due to the exceptional shortness of Chapter 19, I may decide to combine it with 18 or 20 and spoil things again. . . ) I hope that's acceptable._

_Because there is very little in this chapter that can deviate from the one in _Twilight_, I would like to reemphasize that all events, dialogue and characters featured in _Twilight_ belong to Stephenie Meyer._

_This chapter is dedicated to __**BlueJean452**__._

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**CHAPTER 17: THE GAME**

It began to drizzle shortly after Edward and Bella disappeared to ask her father's permission to stay out and watch us play.

Everyone with the exception of Alice was surprised to see Edward return alone only a few moments later, his expression and mood considerably bleaker.

_Has Bella's father objected to her joining us? _I asked silently, trying to suppress the slightly pleased ring of my thoughts. While I hadn't found her visit particularly distracting, I did not want our roughhousing to frighten her after the family had worked so hard to make a good impression.

Edward responded with one slight shake of his head. "Bella's Quileute friends have decided to complicate matters. I thought now might be a good time to ask Emmett if I could borrow the Jeep."

Something deep within me tightened at the mention of the sons of the wolves. Their descendents might lack the shape-shifting gene of their forefathers, but they knew too much to be dismissed as an idle threat. _Careful, Edward_. . .

Emmett, on the other hand, seemed unconcerned with the Quileutes and easily gave complied Edward's request. "Sure thing," he said with a grin. "Trying to make a good impression on Daddy?"

Edward smiled very slightly. "Something like that. I'm not sure how comfortable Charlie would feel if saw a strange man physically carry his daughter into the rain. It seems more prudent to have a vehicle to place her in."

With a booming laugh from Emmett and the casual toss of keys from one brother to another, Edward disappeared into the garage and made his way back to the girl.

We listened to him go—the beating of the rain against the window panes growing considerably more violent—and eagerly moved to pull our things together. It wouldn't be long before the thunder started, and I was eager to run. Emmett caught a bit of my enthusiasm and nearly forgot our bats in his eagerness to get to the field. I grabbed a canister of new baseballs and followed suit. Without a word we both curled into a pounce on the porch, tensing our muscles for a full out run. The rest of the family—with the exception of Carlisle and Esme—mirrored the movement and, at the first flash of lightning, we launched ourselves forward.

I flew through the woods at top speed, dodging raindrops and goading my family to pick up the pace as I raced yet faster. The raindrops seemed to move in slow motion as I darted from path to another, adrenaline pumping with greater force at the revelation that Alice was at my side and Emmett was lagging only slightly behind. I caught sight of his crouched frame and darted to the side just in time to avoid his grasping tackle and send him sprawl empty-handed into the dirt.

I laughed and followed a narrower, wilder route, grabbing Alice's hand and pulling her forward with me. Pleased with my exuberance, she grasped my fingers more tightly and added her bell-like giggles to my soft chuckle. We moved together in perfect harmony through the trees and moss, whipping past tangled branches and startled wildlife in a whirlwind of pure exhilaration before bursting into the wide openness of Rainier field.

With a deep, satisfied sigh I ran around the length of the large expanse and stopped to marvel at the misty outline of the cloudy peaks in the distance. I was so deeply consumed in my own satisfaction of that I almost didn't notice Emmett's presence behind me. I stepped backward just in time to avoid his silent assault, though my attempt at evasion was not nearly so fluid the second time around. His tackle managed to catch my ankle and, with a laughing tug at my leg, very nearly dragged me to the ground with him.

I freed my foot from his grasp with an easy grin, lacing my amusement with the barest trace of a mocking growl. "Attempting to sabotage me before the game, Emmett? Now does that really seem like a proper display of good sportsmanship to you?"

"I don't know, brother. Maybe you should stay still for a damn second and find out!"

Emmett leaped forward again and I dodged back again, Alice and Rosalie shaking their heads at our immature display as we tumbled together across the field. While I managed to avoid the next four or five leaps, he managed to distract me with a feint dive left and finally throw his body into mine and force me to the ground. I found his neck with my arm and scrambled to trap him in a headlock. Satisfied that our competition was over, I relaxed my hold only to have him sandwich his fist into my hair and roll away with a heaving roar of laughter.

"We'll finish this on the field," Emmett promised, still chuckling as I helped him from the ground.

"Just don't upset Rosalie with your whimpering later, Emmett," I called back.

I caught the slight movement of Alice's arm in my peripheral vision and reflexively raised my hand, clenching the ball she threw with the tips of my fingers before sending it back to her outstretched palms.

"Ready to practice now?" she asked, smiling as she sent another vicious pitch my way.

I returned her smile and her throw, concentrating more fully on my form.

Emmett, realizing that our games were at an end and having little interest in helping Alice practice her throw, moved to join Rosalie and Esme nearer to the edge of the field.

We continued to pitch the ball to one another for some time—I twice splitting the leather and obliterating its yarn and cork core by gripping it too tightly and forced to fish for a fresh one—before I heard Edward's distinctive tread at the edge of the forest. I very nearly missed Alice's smooth throw when the small stirrings of wind brought the smell of human to my nostrils and felt my body tense despite myself.

It took me less than second to recover and resume practice, only minutely distracted by a muffled roar of laughter in the distance before focusing all my attention back on Alice. I was determined not to mind the girl's presence and keep control of myself. With any luck, she would be able to fade into the background and enjoy herself.

Carlisle noted the noise as well and moved to mark the bases, carefully measuring their distance from one another as Bella and Edward slowly walked into view. With the exception of the raincoat bundled around her, she appeared much as she did earlier in the day.

I shook my head slightly at the girl's misguided sense of self-preservation. Why any human would consider protection from the rain a greater necessity than protection from us was beyond me. Perhaps she was still unaware that our oath to hunt animals rather than humans—particularly _my_ oath—was hardly infallible.

I noticed Esme stand and, after a quick look at Rosalie's retreating figure, moved to welcome the girl. While Bella did not seem to mind Esme's presence, her aura grew particularly uncomfortable as her eyes trailed after my sullen sister.

"Was that you we heard, Edward?" Esme asked, happy to turn the subject to a more cheerful one.

"It sounded like a bear choking," Emmett said, approaching Bella with an easy familiarity.

Bella smiled. "That was him."

"Bella was being unintentionally funny," Edward explained, his expression stern but his emotions light.

Rosalie released a long, low hiss of disgust as she brushed by us, but Alice simply shook her head.

"You can't be bitter forever, you know."

"Stay out of it," Rosalie spat, flipping her hair in dismissal.

"Don't take out your frustrations on Alice, Rosalie," I warned, my own good mood tainted by her surliness.

"It's fine, Jazz. Let's just get started. I'll go tell the others."

With one last exasperated glance in Rosalie's direction, she went running to meet Bella and the others. "It's time," she announced, smiling warmly at the girl.

As though on a cue, a deep crack of thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Eerie, isn't it?" Emmett asked the startled girl with a wink, as though entirely nonplussed by Bella's presence despite his very recent bet on her death.

"Let's go," Alice said, reaching for Emmett's hand and pulling him into the field at full speed.

"Are you ready for some ball?" Edward asked, eager.

"Go team!" Bella cried, seeming more hesitant than enthusiastic.

He snickered and played with her hair before bounding toward the field himself. With a last burst of speed he outran Alice and Emmett and joined Carlisle and me in the field, leaving Bella to gape after him with Esme at her side.

"Shall we go down?" Esme asked, giving her a moment to compose herself and come out of her daze with a quick nod.

It was somewhat gratifying to note that Esme also kept a respectful distance from the girl—though not nearly to the extent I did—and carefully matched her pace. However, my attention was soon dominated by the game as Emmett and Edward were elected to be captains and began to pick teams.

Rosalie made it clear by her coldness alone that she had no intention of being on Edward's team, so he chose Alice instead. Emmett, in turn, chose me, and Carlisle naturally moved himself over to Edward's side. After a quick coin flip—with Carlisle calling which side to avoid any cheating—our team was allowed up to bat.

Alice danced to the pitcher's pound with a pleased grin, Carlisle darted along infield, and Edward ran deep into the left field.

"Feel like being catcher while Rose and I are up to bat, Jasper?" Emmett asked with a grin.

Alice teasingly waggled her fingers at me as I nodded and crouched a few yards behind Emmett. "Just don't keep me too busy," I murmured.

Emmett grinned and tightened his grip on the aluminum bat. He gave it an experimental swing and—his muscles tensed—positioned himself beside home plate.

My eyes never leaving Alice's face, I waited for the quick, confident movement of her arm.

"All right," Esme called. "Batter up."

Alice froze in place, standing poised and absolutely motionless. She closed her eyes, clearly studying the potential outcomes of each pitch, and held the ball in both hands at her waist. Satisfied, she opened her eyes and her right hand flew forward. I copied the gesture and in length of a blink the ball flew past Emmett and cushioned itself in the center of my palm.

I could feel Bella's honest surprise and smiled slightly as I hurled the ball back. Alice returned the grin briefly before throwing the ball again.

Emmett was prepared the second time and, with a resounding crack, sent the ball soaring. Edward, his eyes never leaving the ball, flew after the hit while Emmett moved through the bases at top speed, Carlisle shadowing his every movement. I heard the soft grunt of Edward's catch and shook my head in disappointment.

"Out!" Esme exclaimed as my brother ran back with the ball in his hand and a huge grin on his face. "Emmett hits the hardest," Esme explained in the wake of Bella's surprise. "But Edward runs the fastest."

Still swearing, Emmett threw the bat in my direction and took my place as catcher. "Give 'em hell, Jasper."

I twirled the bat between my fingers for a moment and surveyed the field. Edward was a force to be reckoned with, but Carlisle was better at tagging outs than catching them. With a wink at Alice, I bent my knees and raised my bat.

I waited only the briefest of moments after her hand darted forward and bunted the ball toward Carlisle. He scrambled after it for a moment, and I raced toward first base. I was about halfway there when he recovered the ball and came after me, closing the distance between us with his arm outstretched. I was nearly there when he dove for me, smashing into my body just as my foot touched first base.

"Safe," Esme called, oblivious to the fear exuding from Bella.

I untangled myself from Carlisle and offered a teasing bow to Emmett, relaxing my muscles for a quick sprint as I waited for Rosalie to make her move.

She did well and managed to hit a single of her own. Emmett was more successful on his second attempt and got Rosalie home, though Carlisle succeeded in tagging me out at third. We only managed one more run before Rosalie was tagged out and our teams switched places, I moving to the pitcher's mound while Edward raced forward to speak to Bella.

I watched the two of them together in silent bewilderment, absorbing the complicated aura that surrounded them. The overall effect was something surprisingly . . . warm.

Edward managed to pull himself away from the girl with some difficulty and casually moved up to bat. I launched the ball forward at top speed, but—with a crack that rivaled the thunder—his swing connected and Edward managed to make two bases before Emmett could recover the ball. Carlisle also surprised Rosalie with an especially aggressive hit, and safely got both Edward and himself home.

I grimaced as Alice high-fived the both of them, thoroughly unsatisfied by my far too honest pitching. It took a several attempts before I could find the proper pitch and Rosalie warmed enough to the game to make two of the three outs.

The game progressed fairly evenly. Only once did we get into an argument that Esme found particularly out of line—Emmett had prepared to wrestle Edward to the ground after a hit that was less than a hair's width away from a foul—but we played relatively honestly, though I admittedly stole two bases in the second inning. We were evenly matched when Edward caught the last out and I moved to the pitcher's mound.

I threw the ball into the air a few times to warm up as Carlisle stepped up to bat and Edward situated himself behind him. With a long sigh, I prepared my pitch, only to have the ball remain securely in my grasp at the sound of Alice's small, sharp gasp.

Her eyes darted quickly from mine to Edward's, and he flashed to Bella's side in an instant. We all convened on Alice immediately, I leaving the ball behind to make my hand available to her at a moment's notice.

"Alice?" Esme asked, her voice tense as she studied Edward's guarded closeness to Bella.

"I didn't see—I couldn't tell," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly.

Everyone instinctively moved closer, the atmosphere horribly strangled and uncomfortable.

"What is it, Alice?" Carlisle asked, keeping his voice calm but his aura strained.

"They were traveling much quicker than I thought. I can see I had the perspective wrong before," she said, her emotions edged with worry.

I stepped closer, fighting the urge to wrap her in my arms and quiet her fears. "What changed?"

"They heard us playing, and it changed their path," she said, looking at me with an expression of absolute devastation. It was painfully obvious that she blamed herself.

_The nomads_. I glanced at Bella and quickly moved my eyes elsewhere, thinking hard. I could run to meet them alone. With some luck my scars, a spike of fear and the smell of the others on me would distract them from my eyes and make them keep their distance.

But I would need time.

"How soon?" Carlisle asked, his eyes on Edward.

He concentrated for a moment, clearly scanning the woods with his mind. "Less than five minutes," he said at last. "They're running—they want to play." He scowled, and I along with him.

It wasn't far enough away to keep Alice out of it. And she wouldn't leave Bella when they were so close to reaching us. That much was obvious.

"Can you make it?" Carlisle asked, clearly expecting an answer from Edward but unable to tear his eyes away from Bella.

"No, not carrying—" He stopped, incapable of even looking at the girl. "Besides, the last thing we need is for them to catch the scent and start hunting."

"How many?" Emmett asked Alice.

I smiled bitterly. It was gratifying to know that I was at least slightly more informed than the others.

"Three," she answered.

"Three!" Emmett scoffed, flexing his muscles with anticipation. "Let them come."

Carlisle was silent as he thought through our situation, and everyone—especially myself—tensed. No one save Emmett could look away from him.

"Let's just continue the game," Carlisle said at last. "Alice said they were simply curious."

Bella looked at the rest of us intently, her emotions indecipherable.

Esme noticed and spoke a touch lower and considerably faster. "Are they thirsty, Edward?"

Edward shook his head only slightly, and Esme was encompassed in an immense sense of relief. I said nothing, carefully stopping refraining from breathing as I realized how close we were to one another. I knew our kind too well. It didn't matter whether they were thirsty or not. If any of them felt even a portion of the urge for the girl that Edward felt, they wouldn't need to be provoked at all. Her scent was uncomfortably pleasant even to me.

"You catch, Esme," Edward said, shifting slightly toward Bella. "I'll call it now."

With a long scan of the edge of the wood, listening hard for even the slightest sound of movement, I returned to the pitcher's mound. Alice remained behind Esme as she waited for her turn at bat, both of them edging their way defensively around Bella. The soft breeze and damp air filled the field with her soft, floral scent.

"Take your hair down," I heard Edward instruct her.

The girl complied, shaking it carefully and obscuring a small portion of the potent scent of the blood pumping beneath the skin of her cheeks and around her neck.

"The others are coming now," Bella said, her voice strangely calm, as though unaware of how wholly her life was in danger.

I threw the ball aimlessly into the air, my eyes darting back to her almost against my will. Of the lot of us, she felt the calmest. I studied her emotional tenor and shook my head slightly. Perhaps that was the wrong word. Perhaps she was simply the most . . . resigned.

"Yes," Edward answered, "stay very still, keep quiet, and don't move from my side, please." Stress slid around him like a glove, though he did his best to hide it.

Bella seemed to sense it too, even while Edward tried to obscure more of her skin and hide her face beneath more hair.

"That won't help," Alice said. "I could smell her across the field."

I nodded, edging slightly forward. They would know if they were given even the slightest opportunity to get near her.

"I know," Edward said, a frustrated edge to his voice.

Carlisle went up to bat, and the rest of us did our best to retain interest in the game while Edward and Bella whispered together. Still, not even Emmett could manage any excitement. We moved carefully, weakly, careful to keep our game quiet and refrain from moving into the outfield or providing anyone else with any reason to be too far away from Bella.

Rosalie would let out a low hiss of disgust every so often, her eyes blazing as she glared at the girl. "I knew the human would only cause us trouble. . ." she spat, more fully focusing her glower on Edward.

Edward didn't acknowledge her animosity with so much as a warning snarl. He only had eyes for Bella and the encroaching trees.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said softly, just loud enough for me to catch the ring of genuine lament in his voice. "It was stupid, irresponsible, to expose you like this. I'm so sorry."

We all froze in place as we at last heard the sharp, rapid of tread of three figures bounding through the woods. Without so much as glancing at one another we forgot our game and moved forward in unison, waiting for the inevitable entry of our uninvited guests.


	18. Doubts

This chapter is dedicated to **Etharay**.I'm not sure if this fic is really "fluff" or not, but it definitely has its moments, I suppose.

* * *

**CHAPTER 18: DOUBTS**

We didn't dare to so much as draw breath as we listened to the tread of their footsteps purposefully diverge before cautiously drawing their owners into view. The first to appear from the woods, a blond male of roughly average build, immediately slowed to give the tall, dark-haired male just behind him an opportunity to take the lead. A female with vibrant red hair and a savage glint in her eyes came into view shortly behind them, mimicking the first's movements and orienting herself around their apparent leader. Upon taking in the size of our family they carefully tightened their proximity to one another, their eyes unceasingly scanning our party for even the slightest sign of hostility. They did not appear nearly as well fed or civilized as I would have liked.

In truth, their appearance was characteristic of nearly all nomads, though their disheveled hair and fraying clothes suggested they had been travelling without rest for a few weeks longer than most of our kind usually permitted. The overwhelming sense of caution that governed their catlike movements was far from unfamiliar, and brought to mind the first month or two of my own travels with Charlotte and Peter. Unfortunately, considering my diet at the time, that only further confirmed our suspicions that Bella was in danger.

Carlisle casually moved in front of Edward and Bella as they approached and Emmett and I shadowed him closely. I focused most of my attentions on keeping my back straight and my walk measured as we moved to meet them, doing my best to fight old habits and slink into a hunter's stance of my own.

The more feral part of my nature longed to exert dominance—to minimize confrontation by making it absolutely clear that they would be disassembled and annihilated before a single bite could find its mark. Burying the urge, I moved my attention to loosening the aggressive tension that perforated the air and softly extending a sense of comfort and ease to our guests.

Their leader was immediately receptive and smiled kindly as he made his first move toward us, seemingly oblivious to the skittish way his female companion's burgundy gaze roved through our numbers and the other male stared at the cluster of bodies that surrounded Bella.

The dusty-haired male suddenly moved his attention from the huddle around Bella to Alice, his aura decidedly more surprised and strangely resentful as his eyes raked her face. While reason told me that defending Bella should be my primary concern, I could not help but feel unsettled by the strange tenor of his emotions. His searching, shifting gaze and flared nostrils were a staple of wild trackers, and my entire being rebelled against the idea of him profiling Alice any more than he had already.

I felt my jaw tighten and struggled to push all animosity from my mind. It was more difficult than I would have imagined.

"We thought we heard a game," their leader continued, his slight French accent cautiously affable as he explained his group's presence to our tense party. "I'm Laurent, these are Victoria and James."

He casually indicated his associates and intently looked over our group himself.

"I'm Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Rosalie, Esme and Alice, Edward and Bella." He gestured to us in vague groups, not permitting them to focus on Bella without Edward to confuse their attentions.

"Do you have room for a few more players?" Laurent asked, his eyes flicking casually over Bella without any special interest.

"Actually, we were just finishing up," Carlisle said, his own tone friendly and purposefully welcoming. "But we'd certainly be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long?"

"We're headed north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the neighborhood. We haven't run into any company in a long time."

I moved my hands to my pockets to keep them from twitching toward James' neck as his eyes darted back to Alice. This play at hospitality was unbearable. I wanted—I _needed_—this conversation to end as quickly as possible. My only desire was to have Alice and Edward carry the girl and themselves away and leave us to keep them from following. I did my best to thicken the ease of both parties, hoping it would be enough to curb any potential bloodlust and already knowing far too well that it would not.

"No," Carlisle continued, blind to my discomfort. "This region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves."

"What's your hunting range?" Laurent asked. Most of my family had not hunted properly in some time, and their eyes held only the slightest tinge of gold. At first glance, I could understand why he might assume we were "normal" blood drinkers.

Carlisle did not care to enlighten them in regard to our less than traditional diet. "The Olympic Range here, up and down the Coastal Ranges on occasion. We keep a permanent residence nearby. There's another permanent settlement like ours up near Denali."

Laurent rocked back slightly, and the entire group was visibly surprised. "Permanent? How do you manage that?"

"Why don't you come back to our home with us and we can talk comfortably?" Carlisle offered. "It's a rather long story."

James and Victoria exchanged glances at the notion of a "home," but Laurent seemed to control himself a touch better. "That sounds very interesting, and welcome. We've been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario, and we haven't had the chance to clean up in a while."

He took in Carlisle's well maintained appearance and smiled a touch more widely.

"Please don't take offense, but we'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We have to stay inconspicuous, you understand," Carlisle explained gently.

"Of course," Laurent said with a nod. "We certainly won't encroach on your territory. We just ate outside of Seattle, anyway."

He laughed, and I caught Bella shiver despite my attempts to soothe her.

"We'll show you the way if you'd like to run with us—Emmett and Alice, you can go with Edward and Bella to get the Jeep," he added.

I barely had time to feel the barest trace of hope when a soft wind moved through us, rippling Bella's hair and forcing her scent to our nostrils. I locked my muscles to keep from moving, ignoring the venom pooling in my mouth, and James and Edward snapped into fighting positions immediately. Edward crouched in front of Bella, a deep, rumbling snarl building in his throat as James took in the situation.

Bella visibly shook with fear, and whatever goodwill I had created snapped like a worn piece of thread.

"What's this?" Laurent exclaimed, looking from James and Edward to the frightened girl.

"She's with us," Carlisle said firmly, his eyes locked on James.

Laurent looked at the scene with a new, slightly hesitant comprehension. "You brought a snack?" he asked, taking a curious step forward.

Edward snarled more violently, baring his teeth and allowing the venom to spill from his mouth until Laurent retreated again.

"I said she's with us," Carlisle said sternly.

"But she's _human_," Laurent protested, looking over us as though entirely baffled.

"Yes," Emmett said, visibly preparing himself to attack.

Laurent's eyes darted to my mine, taking in their unnatural, golden color—as well as the scars that littered my jaw—and quickly looked for the same traits in the others.

James slowly straightened, his eyes still glued to the girl and his nostrils flaring with her scent. Edward did not so much as relax a hair, his teeth still bared in preparation for the attack.

I understood his aggression immediately. James did not appear at all repentant. He felt . . . eager.

Laurent worked to repair the situation, though I could do practically nothing to assist him. My own lips quivered against a snarl whenever his glance brushed across Alice's face.

"It appears we have a lot to learn about each other," Laurent said at last.

"Indeed," Carlisle said, his voice uncharacteristically distant.

"But we'd like to accept your invitation," he continued, his eyes moving from Bella back to Carlisle. "And, of course, we will not harm the human girl. We won't hunt in your range, as I said."

James glared at Laurent—clearly frustrated—and then back to Victoria, who looked over the group with edged irritation.

Carlisle evaluated Laurent for only a moment. "We'll show you the way. Jasper, Rosalie, Esme?" he called.

We moved together, careful to keep Bella behind us. We would not let the girl be harmed as a result of Carlisle's trust. Neither she nor he deserved to be betrayed that way.

Emmett fell back reluctantly, clearly more than willing to dispatch James immediately, and Alice instantly joined Bella.

"Let's go, Bella," Edward said quietly. The girl appeared wholly immobile until Edward at last found her elbow and physically pulled her from her trance. Alice and Emmett were close behind, unable to hide her smell or her fear as they retreated into the woods.

I watched them go before I turned back to the nomads, gently placing my hand on James' shoulder and summoning as much goodwill as I could muster. He complied with the silent command, though his eyes strayed back to the woods where Bella and Edward had disappeared. His nostrils were still flared—eager to pick up more of her scent—and he ran his tongue along his lips as he caught Victoria's eyes.

I recognized the desirous longing and cursed under my breath as Esme and Carlisle led them toward the house, Rosalie and I keeping a wary eye out for any sign of escape.

My mind raced over all possible options. James was a threat, that much was certain, but Laurent seemed relatively amiable. He matched Carlisle and Esme's stride without hesitation. The female, on the other hand, was more difficult to read. Beyond her obvious devotion to James, I could not make any sense of her allegiances. Everything rested on Laurent holding enough sway to keep them bridled. If they could not be made to behave, then I would encourage Edward to change the girl. It would be easier to protect her for three days then to keep her safe and human in Forks. Her father would be a problem, but we could continue to patrol the area around his house for a few weeks to be safe. Lost prey wasn't usually a justifiable reason to seek vengeance even for a tracker, and that could work in our favor.

The only thing I could not account for was how to explain the girl's disappearance without implicating Edward. He had already told her father that she would be with him. No matter how we might explain it, our family would be implicated.

We would have to move. Perhaps even leave the country. I tried not to dwell on how Rosalie would handle the news. Things at home would be unpleasant for at least a year.

Of course, the simplest answer from an objective standpoint was to destroy them, but there was no way Carlisle would permit such a thing as anything but a last resort. And in my world "last resort" was far too often synonymous with "too late."

We had nearly reached the break in the woods when Victoria suddenly swiped at Rosalie and tried to make her escape. Rosalie moved to follow, but I shook my head and gestured toward James. Between the two of us I was easily the one more accustomed to hunting down our own kind, and Victoria seemed the most erratic of her party.

"Keep him with the group," I ordered, quickly bounding after the red-haired woman. "I'll take care of her."

Rosalie complied without a word, shadowing James carefully. He cautiously slowed his movements to accommodate her scrutiny, and Laurent pointedly stayed within Carlisle and Esme's easy grasp, as though to ensure them both of his goodwill.

"Go on without me," I called, racing after the woman's scent. Giving orders to Rosalie had cost me, and I raced through the trees at full force to make up for the precious few seconds I had lost. The woman's red hair swept behind her like the stray flame of brush fire, darting and diving just out of my grasp as I pushed forward to stop her. With a furious snarl, I realized that Victoria was slowly weaving closer and closer to the girl's scent.

I could only hope the Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme had pushed the other two out of the forest quickly. They seemed considerably less volatile than Victoria, but it would be easier to keep tabs on them in the house then chase them across the Olympic Peninsula.

I waited until she reached a wider gap in the trees before curling my back into a pouncing position and springing after her. My outstretched hands found her arms and I fell hard, pinning her to the ground in the process.

"Carlisle has kindly offered you and your acquaintances his hospitality. I suggest you accept it," I whispered, holding her tight in my hands and swallowing the growl buzzing at my lips.

She thrashed against my grip, shaking futilely against me. It took me a moment before I realized she was laughing.

"Do you find something about your situation amusing?" I asked, forcing her to her feet and carefully keeping hold of her arms. I was much too tense to attempt to manipulate her emotions into anything but the relaxed confidence she already possessed.

She swung her head around, allowing her tangled mane to smack against my face as her eyes took in mine with a purposeful grin. "Your coven is far too easy to read. Do you really think that pretty blond can hold my James alone?"

My retort froze on my tongue. I had miscalculated. I thought Victoria was the wildest of the three, or at least the likeliest to abandon the others and run in a situation that threatened to cage her. But if her escape was planned, then—

"Jasper!" Rosalie cried, running toward me as if on cue. "The other one—He's . . .!"

"The tracker. . . No!" I roared, my mind consumed with thoughts of Bella and Alice. The girl's smell was too potent to ignore. They were in danger.

Victoria took advantage of my distraction and spat in my face. I involuntarily moved my hands over my eyes with a violent hiss—consumed by incredible pain as the foreign venom obscured my vision—and clawed blindly after her.

"_Rosalie!_" I shouted, my roars echoing off the trees as I furiously rubbed at my ruined eyes. I blinked wildly and stumbled forward, chasing her scent with total disregard for all else. I had hunted on scent alone on more than one occasion, and I would not allow for Victoria's cheap tactics to slow me.

I refused to fail Alice or Bella. I refused to allow them to be put in harm's way as a result of my failure.

Rosalie chased after me and pulled me back, ignoring my bared teeth and frustrated cursing. "Stop it, Jasper! You're in no condition to follow them!"

"Damn you," I hissed, freeing my arm from her grasp and moving back toward the scent only to be hindered again by her infuriating hold on me. "Let me after them, Rosalie! That girl is . . . Alice is—!"

"What good will you running after them do?" she cried. "Do you think that's what Alice would want? You running out into the middle of the street in clear view of anyone who happens by?"

"He's a tracker, Rosalie!" I exclaimed, my voice hoarse with worry.

My vision was finally starting to clear and an expression that looked suspiciously like genuine concern darted across Rosalie's face as she pulled me back after Carlisle. "I know that, but chasing after them pissed off and without a plan won't help anyone, Jasper. If anything, making them do something desperate and stupid will only make the Volturi show up and complicate things further. Let's just go _home._ We'll ask Laurent about them and wait for the others to come back. Emmett and Edward won't let anything happen to Alice or his human. You know that, Jasper."

With a raw, defeated sigh, I pounded my fist through the trunk of a nearby tree and allowed Rosalie to guide me back to the others. "Why?" I whispered at last, my teeth bared. "Why do I always fail her?"

"You didn't fail, Jasper. You caught her. You couldn't have known James was planning an escape. Only Edward—"

"It doesn't take a mind-reader to make observations and draw connections from them," I said softly, my voice growing bitter with self-disgust. "I'm the only one here with extensive experience dealing with the mind and tendencies of a nomad. It was my miscalculation. I _am_ at fault."

"Idiot," Rosalie snapped as she quickly pushed me back to the house, pausing just at the foot of the front steps. I could hear Carlisle speaking softly from within, patiently probing Laurent for any and all information about his escaped associates. "Believe me, Jasper. If I thought you were the one responsible for this, I wouldn't hesitate to let you know."

Without another look in my direction, she moved to speak with Esme and left me to slump on the couch and quietly absorb any potential advantages Carlisle's polite interrogation might offer us.

_If Alice or Bella end up hurt even the tiniest bit because of this—if they do anything to make either of them feel any variety of pain or discomfort—I will make sure that the last things they ever see are my fingers tearing them to pieces._

The same violent, silent promise pounded in the back of my brain again and again, just barely keeping me from slamming my fist down Laurent's throat and taking off to correct the grievous mistake that culminated in James and Victoria's continued existence.

In truth, if it weren't for how utterly incompetent their escape made me feel, I was almost grateful to be freed of the responsibility of watching over the nomads like an overbearing prison warden. My natural response to a threat was more closely aligned with the role of a predator than a guard, and their escape gave my more violent instincts the validation they so desperately craved.

I didn't have very long to dwell on my darker thoughts before the others arrived. We all stood stiff as rods the moment we heard the low rumble of tires against our driveway. Emmett burst into the room only moments later, the girl bundled securely in his arms and Edward and Alice following close behind him.

Emmett's eyes fell on Laurent and he immediately released a low, threatening growl.

"He's tracking us," Edward announced, his gaze also focused on the nomad.

Laurent had the good sense to look repentant. "I was afraid of that."

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully and Alice took advantage of the tension to find her way to my side and place her lips against my ear. "Come with me."

I complied and silently followed her up the steps. She immediately moved to the closet and started to pack, tossing me a bag and a pile of clothes. "We don't have much time," she hurriedly explained. "We did our best to throw them off, but James has set his sights on beating Edward. If we split up now there's a good chance that we can distract them enough to get Bella to safety."

"I understand. What's the plan?"

"Well, it's too obvious for her to travel with Edward or Carlisle, and you know Rosalie would refuse. Stealth has never been one of Emmett's strong suits, and we'll need Esme to play Bella's decoy. So that leaves the two of us in charge of safely escorting her to Phoenix."

There was a two second beat of silence as I allowed what she said to completely sink in. "_Us?_"

"Yes. She needs us, Jazz."

I thought of blazing sun and long, cloudless days with a disbelieving shake of my head. "Phoenix, Alice?"

"We've survived in sunny climates before. Besides, it will only be for a few days."

"Alice. . ."

"Trust yourself, Jazz."

"How can I?" I murmured, pushing my belongings into my bag with a little more force than necessary.

Alice stopped packing and gently clasped my face between her hands. "Because I do."

I heard Edward's frantic roar carry up the stairs and shook my head more aggressively. "I know that, but _he_ can't possibly honestly trust me, Alice. I don't blame him. If anything were to happen to her as result of my weakness. . ."

"We _all _trust you. Bella, too. You're the only one who can't seem to manage it."

_With good reason_, I thought, though I didn't waste time further voicing my misgivings. My inclination toward human blood was only one of the many, many things that could immediately go wrong with our plan. If we were truly going to move south, we would have to start the journey immediately to have any hope of escaping the nomads' notice. I still wasn't entirely sure that Laurent could be trusted, either.

Ultimately, my hesitance amounted to nothing. I knew myself too well to expect to be of any use protecting the girl if I let her leave with Alice alone. It went against everything in me to refuse her some additional support and protection.

"Very well," I said at last, "but we'll need to move quickly."

Alice swung her bag over her shoulder with a small smile and led the way down the stairs and into the garage. I immediately moved to assist Carlisle in making sure the cars were serviceable, trying to forget the mounting risks in our plan and Esme's repeated pleas to Rosalie for assistance. She had just managed to get my sister's reluctant accent when Alice disappeared to greet Bella at the entrance to the garage.

No one seemed capable of speaking to her until Carlisle finished distributing cell phones and Emmett and Edward announced that they were ready to leave.

"Esme and Rosalie will be taking your truck, Bella," he said at last.

I wondered if she could recognize the strain in his voice as she nodded, but she seemed to be distracted by the expression of pure resentment etched plainly onto Rosalie's face.

Carlisle, however, ignored her sullen behavior and turned his attention to Alice and me. "Alice, Jasper—take the Mercedes. You'll need the dark tint in the south."

We nodded, and I moved the girl's clothes and a few emergency supplies to the trunk of the car. I tried not to think of the sweet smell floating amongst her belongings spilling from her skin and steadily building within the vehicle. It would be a long, agonizing trip.

My resolve wavered. What if . . .?

"We're taking the Jeep," Carlisle continued, accompanying Edward for the hunt. "Alice, will they take the bait?"

Alice closed her eyes, her body rigid. She opened them at last, relieved. "He'll track you. The woman will follow the truck. We should be able to leave after that."

"Let's go," Carlisle said, walking toward the kitchen.

Edward did not follow.

Without a word he caught the girl and crushed her body against his chest, lifting her off the floor as he desperately pressed her lips to his. I froze, unable to look away until he finally set Bella down, looked at her for a moment longer, and reluctantly followed Carlisle. He seemed half-dead, and his emotions were numbed to nothing more than an overpowering mixture of pain and worry.

It was not the reaction of a man who was saying goodbye to the woman he loved. It was like watching a man being forced to wretch a piece of his soul from himself. A physical emptiness seemed to fill the space between them. He . . . _needed _this girl. More than that, they only seemed to see one another—as though their parting had somehow fundamentally damaged their sense of self.

I understood the emotion perfectly. It was exactly what I feared feeling if something were to ever happen to Alice.

The human girl before me seemed to physically wither before my eyes, and I finally understood. I had been so blinded by her mortality that it had never occurred to me to look at them as true mates. Never in my wildest imaginings would I have thought it possible for her to already become so deeply entangled in Edward's being—in our family's makeup. Somehow, she had managed to carve a place for herself in our family with the same speed and passion with which she carved her own life apart by accepting us.

I busied myself with my things as the girl began to cry, unsure how best to handle the situation and worried I might startle her if I came near enough to offer her my handkerchief.

Finally, her tears and the room's silence were interrupted by Esme's cell phone.

"Now," she said.

Rosalie followed her command and rushed from the room without another look at the girl, but Esme paused to gently brushed her fingers along Bella's cheek.

"Be safe," she whispered.

Alice, Bella and I lingered, waiting at last for our signal and hoping to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

"Edward says the woman is on Esme's trail. I'll get the car." Alice said, disappearing into the shadows.

Bella didn't respond. She seemed lost in her own agony, almost a perfect reflection of the hurt that encompassed Edward. I observed her silently, unable to spot even a glimmer of hope or self-worth radiating from her. She only seemed aware of her own sense of incompleteness-she was entirely incapable of noticing the extensive damage her absence would do to the rest of us.

Bella caught me looking at her, her expression openly vulnerable and her aura weak.

"You're wrong, you know," I said quietly, crumbling the handkerchief in my pocket back and forth in my fingers. I was still too wary to come much closer to her.

"What?" she whimpered.

"I can feel what you're feeling now—and you _are_ worth it."

"I'm not," she mumbled. "If anything happens to them, it will be for nothing."

"You're wrong," I said again, offering her a soft smile.

I couldn't explain to her the complexities of her importance. I couldn't explain the way she illuminated Edward—the way her absence so completely extinguished him. I could not explain how strongly she reminded me of myself when Alice and I hadn't spoken to each other.

I could only tell her that she was wrong and smile from a distance. I could not begin to explain how completely in error she was and expect her to believe me.

Alice caught the end of the scene and, with a brief squeeze of my hand, she approached the girl with her arms outstretched.

"May I?" she asked.

"You're the first one to ask permission," she said with a wry smile.

Without another word, she shielded the girl in her arms and flew to the car. I followed closely behind, tucking the handkerchief deep into my pocket as I sank into the driver's seat and started the car.

For the first time all evening, I felt certain that I was doing the right thing.


End file.
